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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

992 replies

Moominsarescary · 06/08/2012 19:48

Hoping the thread brings us luck and that soon we will all be holding our rainbows xx

OP posts:
Mechavivzilla · 20/09/2012 10:53

Right, I think I have finished sulking, so am ready to rejoin the world!

The appointment was exactly what I expected so I am not sure why it hit me so hard. I know it is hard to work out a cause in hindsight and lots of other women are in the same boat. So I am sorry for being such a whineyarse! The consultant was kind and lovely, and although I hadn't met her before she had read my notes very carefully and seemed to know the case really well, which I found very reassuring. I think it was just the thought of going through another pregnancy terrified me.

I don't think I can name check enough to catch up! But Green I am so pleased to hear about your BFP!

Elly and Fan hoping your scans soon both go well.

Klein sorry you are having a bad day. You are allowed to though, this is all still so fresh. Dexter was so tiny, he was buried in a babygro the hospital gave us. We were so wrong footed and I was so ill we didn't even think to look for something else! It was white with little blue stars on. He was also wearing a little white hat with ears our friend crocheted for us, and she made us an extra one was have on his little toy octopus. You are right, it does make us feel better having something near that reminds us of him.

amy your job offer sounds exciting! And WTW I hope your work agree to a four day week.

Am also having the wierdest cycle at the moment and I just don't know what is going on. I started a thread about it here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1568386-Very-Confusing-Temperature-chart And if anyone has any ideas or suggestions I would be really grateful! Just driving myself mad over it.

I know I have missed people, I am thinking of us all, with love x

KleinePoppet · 20/09/2012 11:17

Oh mecha I have just read your other thread - and while irregular cycles are to be expected after so much stress, after today's post, I would say a visit to the docs would seem to be in order if the symptoms continue. Am I allowed to say: FX?! Do you think you could hold out till after the weekend, and see what happens, or can you get a doctor's appt today if you need to?

Thanks all so so much for your kind, sweet words. It's so good to be understood. Makes such a difference.
Also, and surely ONLY a bereaved mother would ever say this, but it's really nice to hear about the outfits all your babies wore for burial/cremation...

mias I have re-read your last post but have absolutely no idea what you are apologising for!! Perhaps all of that bum-ache is addling your brain Wink
In all seriousness though - I do hope you're not apologising for talking about your pregnancy/baby? That's what this thread is FOR. I probably should have added, it's not that I have any trouble being happy for the pg people on this thread, rather, I struggle with those for whom this family-building process is so easy. I hope it will get a bit better with time.

elly good luck at the appt. You are quite right: today you are pregnant xx

Moominsarescary · 20/09/2012 16:55

Elle your scan is the same day as mine, good luck x

Mia 11 weeks? Wow

Sorry not to name check all, I need to spend some time going back through the thread.

Anyway 19+2 now, having some sharp pains in the cervix which apparently are normal but I'm worried about it's position, it seems to be moving. No one seems interested unless I have slight bleed or increased discharge. I feel tempted to lie but it seems abit like tempting fate. However if there is something happening the earlier it's caught the better.

OP posts:
AngelGeorgie · 20/09/2012 20:58

Elly. I ve dropped to 4 days but certainly don t condense 5 days work in to 4!!! However, my job is different as I have my only clinic lists so only see my own pts & do my own work!!! I would have liked 9 months off but just couldn t afford it ( like you I m the main wage earner) 9 months mat leave would have been just enough...I'd have been going stir crazy at that point!!!
Kleine sorry you re feeling crap. It really is awful & I remember those early dark days so well... I could never imagine being happy again or smiling... But I have & do... We kept Georgie's hat she wore at the hospital & morgue... But I didn t buy a duplicate outfit ... Take care xxxx
Wtw when I dropped my hours in May I went from 5 days 37.5 hours to 4 days ;32 hours to only loose 5.5 hours per week couldn t really afford to drop any more , especially with an extra £508 per month in nursery fees to pay. Mine's on a trial basis but is working ok. I start earlier at 08.00 & seeing pts at 08:30 & finish at 4:30 to be home or at nusery at 5 ( depending on whose picking Phebs up) I remember thinking like you " was no way ready to leave Phebs" but at some point I was ( or had no choice!!) & now I miss her but it's fine... Xxx
Blizy & Fan hope u re ok?
Love to all. Hope all are well??? Had a lovely day off seeing a mate & chilling xxx
Thank god tomorrow's Friday xxxxx

AngelGeorgie · 20/09/2012 20:59

Oh Amy well done on your interview xxx
Mech xxxx
Moomins hope the pain settles soon xxx

KleinePoppet · 21/09/2012 11:01

Oh moomins how are you doing today? Any further pains? Is there ANYone sympathetic you can call at the hospital/GP surgery, in order to get extra scans or whatever you need? I do see that it's not ideal to lie about whether there's been bleeding or not, but equally you should batter down every door that you can in order to get the care you need. Thinking of you x

elly how did your appt go?
mecha how are you doing today?

angel nearly holiday-time for you!!

We are off to the hospital again this afternoon for our second consultant appt; hoping to get a further opinion on the likelihood of both the cord breaking (which may or may not have been vasa previa) and a placental abruption happening simultaneously. According to all the research we've done it's really extremely unlikely, but the info we have so far seems to point at it... Wish us luck xx

fanjodisfunction · 21/09/2012 14:32

poppet, I think that is very sweet buying the babygrow. Ophelia was buried in the baby grow I bought her, it was white and covered in silver stars, it came with its own blanket. Never seen its like again, I bought it in tkmaxx. I hope the appointment goes ok, Im sending you all the luck I have today.

moonims how the cervical pain today? Hoping its just baby moving around and finding new positions. I guess theres alot of things going on in that area and the blood flow has increased alot so your going to feel more things I guess.

angel Im doing ok, busy with crochet and telling the kitties off! Ov is nearly apon us, and also the scan is this monday.

blizy is it this tuesday that Hubbie has his date with a cup?

mecha I dont temp chart, think I would get to obsessive about it, but I may look into it if nothing happens on the pg front. I think though with all the stress we have all been through, are cycles do become erratic. We also are grieving and our bodies dont know we dont have our babies anymore, so the hormonal changes must be having a toll on all of us. I hope it starts going to back to normal soon, if you are worried though pop along to your doctor and see what they think. Do you think your operation and pain meds have anything to do with your mucked up cycle?

fanjodisfunction · 21/09/2012 14:33

mecha just read your other thread, I think you should go to that doctor, what day are you now on your cycle?

blizy · 21/09/2012 17:40

Moomins- hope you are feeling better?

Fan- yip, Tuesday is his big day, I hope wines and dines it firstWink.

Angel- enjoy your holiday, you bloody deserve it!

It's a holiday weekend here, spending it relaxing with Dh. Hope you all have a nice weekend. X

Mechavivzilla · 22/09/2012 10:15

Klein hope yesterday went well, and you were able to get some answers or at least some peace.

Pregnancy announcments on this thread are about the only ones that don't make me a bit sad! I think because as lovely as my family and friends are, if you haven't experienced this first hand you just don't get how complicated it makes you feel.

Blizy I am picturing your DH offering a cup some flowers and it is really making me giggle! My DH had SA done last year before and I remember feeling so sorry for him and so grateful he was willing to do it, then thinking hang on, I am having all sorts of painful and intrusive things done! He is getting off easy! (har har)

fan temp charting when everything is fairly regular is brilliant. You know what to expect and what is happening. But if there is anything else going on I would stay away! I tried it during my two years with no period phase after coming off the pill and it just drove me mad seeing nothing happening.

I am now on CD36 (so six days late for me) with no bleeding, no temperature dip and no BFP. I have a drs appointment with my doctor, but it isn't until the 10th October. I could have seen someone earlier but some of the doctors at our surgery are a bit abrupt and I couldn't cope with the what, you made a dr's appointment because your period is late questions. I am fairly sure it is stress and the operation that is messing things about, but I am just confused because I think I ovulated BEFORE my op and nothing is supposed to affect the time between ovulation and AF. I don't think I am pregnant. And I don't think I am in denial (I know, I know. Textbook defination of denial!) I can't drink at the moment anyway, am no longer on any strong pain relief, don't like pate or soft cheese and don't take vitamin A so will just carry on as normal until either AF or my Doc's appointment. Will be in town today so will pick up some superdrug tests as I hear they are really sensitive? I did have a proper freak out until DH pointed out we did actually want me to be pregnant and we would cope. Sounds bizarre but that actually hadn't occurred to me Blush

Thinking about all of us this cold, but sunny Saturday!

KleinePoppet · 22/09/2012 12:03

Just quickly popping on and am also now giggling at the image of blizy's DH sitting in a candlelit restaurant opposite a cup Grin Poor man! My DH would understand totally as he had to do lots of SAs.
Also inappropriately laughing at mecha for forgetting that you wanted to be pregnant Smile ... not REALLY laughing, you understand, but the way that you wrote it was funny! I am thinking of you and know that this is so stressful. Well done for waiting for doctor's appt, that sounds sensible. The only way to know for sure at this stage, if the tests are still coming up negative and AF doesn't arrive, would be to have a blood test for HCG, which of course are usually only available privately at fertility clinics. If nothing happens and you really do get stressed, I don't know if you would consider that, or would you rather wait it out?

Appt yesterday went as expected. Yes, the cord ruptured, but no, we can't exclude an abruption as well, however unlikely it may be. Whether or not it was vasa previa - ie, whether the cord really did cross the cervix - is almost irrelevant. Either way, it ruptured. With specialised scans, it would have probably been visible; but unless it was definite vasa previa, they may not have done anything about it anyway. It wasn't visible on any of the scans I had, and I did have a few more than usual.
We have decided not to tell friends/family for now that it could potentially have been diagnosed. We'll never know the answer, and we feel it's hard enough for us to have to deal with, without everyone else being outraged on our behalf - we hope, when someone asks, to phrase it in such a way that they don't have to worry about it too much.

Off out to enjoy the sun before the rain sets in. I hope everyone can enjoy their weekends and am thinking of everyone who's having a rough time at the moment xx

spilttheteaagain · 22/09/2012 12:43

Oh mech you must be going a bit bananas with that temp chart - I temped (obsessively!!) and I know I was already gnawing my own fists by 11DPO (10 day LP here). You sound very restrained, here's hoping xx

wtw I know just what you mean about not being ready to leave Holly. Now I know I can leave Freya for a morning say, but longer would make me very anxious, though obv if I had no choice I would have to just do it and be fretful. It is possible I have taken this to an extreme though - I can't sleep if I have moved Freya to her cot pressed up against my bed - she has to be in bed with me and I have my arm round her all night every night. Mind, she can't sleep without me either!! Maybe I would have been a clingy cosleeper with Bobbie and that's just how I am, or maybe it's all related to losing her. I still wake several times a night convinced F won't be alive and check her frantically. It's horrible. Presumably not normal, but I don't know that Sad

kleine nothing to say, just love xx

moomins how are you today?

Having a bbq shortly when our friends finally get here. Running late due to being hungover apparently Hmm

I had a deeply frustrating day yesterday waiting in from 8am-6pm with an increasing bored and fractious baby for a courier collection. Bastards never showed but logged it on their tracking system that they came and there was no one in Angry It's just so rude and shows such contempt for your customers. So we have to complain, rebook, take 2 etc!

fanjodisfunction · 22/09/2012 18:13

blizy I hope you enjoy your holiday weekend.

mecha I hope that either your period arrives or you get that BFP. I know how hard it is to not have any definite answers, you desperatly want to be pregnant, but when its late and you get a BFN you just want your period to start so you can get on with the next cycle. It just feels like wasted days, just waiting! I find that time more depressing and damn right annoying and also tearful more than getting a BFN.

poppet that must have been hard to hear, hugs to you. Can I ask, what causes a cord to rupture?

spilt didnt happen to be Yodel courier service did it?

Ive been keeping myself busy today, preping for a Tikka masala dinner made by my not so sweet hands and also just baked a load of chocolate chip and toffee chip muffins, yum.

spilttheteaagain · 22/09/2012 20:08

It was CityLink fan. We used to use them at work but ditched them for being both crap and expensive. Choc & toffee muffins sound yum - you don't fancy posting a recipe do you??

Had a good barbeque, plenty of salad! I am a reluctant carnivore and much prefer the pasta salad/bread/coleslaw etc to the actual burgers!

kleine that sounds like a really tough appointment - answers but no answers. How are you today? It can take some time to react fully to the information. Your poor little girl, such an awful thing to happen to her xx

I have been dwelling on Freya's birth again today. It was horrible and I feel really upset again after talking about it with a MW friend & I just think that 13 months on I should be less distressed by it now. I was wondering whether anyone knows how you go about getting a copy of your birth notes and an appointment to go through them with someone? I think hospitals often offer this but not sure how you get in touch?

fanjodisfunction · 22/09/2012 20:20

spilt its just a victoria sponge mix with chocolate chips and toffee chips that I found in asda today.
That must be hard to get over, can you ask your doctor about getting hold of your notes?

Whatevertheweather · 22/09/2012 22:31

Sorry not to name check - Holly's feeding every 2hrs and I'm knackered!! Just wanted to say I am reading, thinking of everyone and love to all xxx Fan and Elly are you both for scans Monday?

Having a very tearful evening - just miss my baby so much and feel like everyone expects me to be 'feeling better' now that H is here. I am over the moon to have her, of course I am but I still miss Erin so so much Sad

blizy · 22/09/2012 23:48

Fan- muffins sound yummy!

Wtw- yikes to the feeding! Of course you still miss Erin, you always will. Having Holly must make you so aware of all the things you have missed out with Erin, I can only imagine how hard that is to cope with. Remember we are always here to listen when you need it. X

Spilt- hi, good to hear from you. Can you contact PALS At the hospital for your notes? Hope you are ok?

Kleine- hope you are having a better day today.

Moomins- how are you?

Elly- hope you are ok?

Mecha- your chart sounds promising, I have everything crossed for you.

Sorry not to name check everyone but I am thinking about you all. X

Ellypoo · 23/09/2012 09:48

Hi - wow, 2 hr feeds, no wonder Holly is growing so well!!

We have appt with the paediatric consultant who looked after Nancy tomorrow - scan next week. I'm still shattered all the time and have started with the dizziness when I stand up so taking it all as good positive signs - spotting seems to have subsided a bit too, so fx! Midwife appt went well - she is lovely and was my sisters MW with her 2 dd. MW had a dd my age who was in my yr at school who died 11 years ago of cancer - she said 'so I do understand how it feels'. We were both in tears at one point in my appt - it was good that she understands how hard it is & is going to be.
We've had a really busy couple of days - 3 birthday parties & a naming ceremony on Friday night (along with a leak from the bathroom which has stained our brand new oak floor - meant DH had to take some of the ceiling down), then my cousins 21st birthday party last night - sept is a very busy month for birthdays in our family :)

How is everyone? Sorry, am on phone so I can't scroll back at the moment.

greengoose · 23/09/2012 09:52

Hi everyone. My crazy busy week leading up to Jacobs birthday is done now. We had his party yesterday, and it went really well. Going with the Harry Potter theme they all dressed up and got the steam train from Totnes, platform 9 3/4 to our village ( one stop) and then walked to our house which is really close. Once in our paddock a very lovely man from dartmoor zoo flew owls and hawks with them. ( which j didn't know was going to happen). Then dp played Quiddich with them, and they chose wands. Adults collected and stayed for soup at the yurt and everyone went home when it got dark.
It's been a hell of a week, and yesterday morning I was in tears, but Jacob said he'll never ever forget his tenth birthday, and that's all I wanted, just some memories to go alongside the year we had Merryn. My friends 'got' it, which was lovely, and they fussed around me in a way that felt very loving. The day had a lot about Merryn somehow too. Now we have to manage on thin air until payday at the end of the week, but that's ok.

SPILT, I think it's fine that you hug Freya while she sleeps. Jacob slept on me like this for about a year. (and in same bed much longer). He's the most independent and confident kid now, not clingy in any way, just very loving. (I might be biased)! If she didn't like it shed tell you. My DS2 insisted on hugging for a bit and then being in his space in the bedside cot. Both sleep fine and enjoy going to bed now, and both enjoy sleepovers, so IMO it's been good for us, and it's over so very soon. People find there own paths, I think the struggles in feeling good about our choices, whatever they are!

WTW. You must be so tired lovely. Holly must be bringing everything you and Erin missed into such painful focus too. Make sure you are looking after yourself, grief and two hour feeds sounds like it would exhaust anyone, and your hormones must be in a jumble. You are a brilliant mum, to all your girls. X

KLEINE. Oh my love, that appt must have been difficult for you and DH. I can see why you want to keep what you tell RL friends simple, you have your own feelings about this to live with, there is no need to deal with everyone else's too. After Merryn died we had to fight not to be very angry, (lots of things could have been different). I can say five months on I have let go of most of the anger, and now feel love and pain for loosing her, but they are feelings belonging to her and my relationship, not medical conditions, or doctors, or tumours. That has helped me, but I had to fight for it. Some dark days its still rage I feel. I guess I'm wishing some sort of peace for you and your DH. Xxx

MECHA. It's not right. I hope your cycle works out what it's doing. You, as FAN, really don't deserve the extra stress, and the confusion. I hope your doc is sympathetic and helpful. (and fingers sneakily crossed for the super drug test)...

FAN, that curry has made my mouth water, and it's only 9.30! Are you having scan this week? (sorry if thats wrong). If so I hope they are kind and you get some answers. You must be one of the strongest people I know. When you have your rainbow I hope they are told how bravely their Mummy fought for them. Sending you love. X

BLIZY, I was genuinely confused by the cup comments. Thought your DH was celebrating having won said cup at sporting event!! Does he know we are all talking about him?! I am quite jealous that you are in Scotland for Halloween. (whisper; these southerners don't do it right)!

I think i am clearly in denial re my BFP (although had very matter of fact dream last night that i went to the loo and MCd, had to remind myself on waking that i hadnt been out of bed). I do an eBay cheaply test everyday, and the line is getting nicely darker, and my flea bite boobs are a little less saggy. So it must be true, but I'm not 'feeling' it yet. I need to call my consultant soon, but can't make myself do it... Too real.

Thinking of us all, but didn't want to write the longest post on MN, so will come back later.

Ellypoo · 23/09/2012 09:59

wtw, of course Holly hasn't replaced E, and you will always miss your beautiful angel. Having Holly must bring back the rawness and sadness that she isn't with you all.

fan muffins sound gorgeous - am too hungry now!!

mecha, crikey you have the patience of a saint - id struggle to wait that long for a dr appt. I hope you're ok.

kleine I hope today is gentle for you and you're having a better day.

moomins, how are you doing? Have you been to the hospital to be checked & reassured?

blizy, I hope dh's SA on tues goes ok.

spilt, my sis went over her notes from her first birth because it was quite traumatic - they were really good with her and explained everything. Can you get in touch with the hospital or your MW? They might be able to point you in the right direction?

fanjodisfunction · 23/09/2012 10:53

green you sound like a wonderful mum, that party sounded amazing and one I'm sure will stay with those children and your boy forever. I think its very brave of you to do it. You've gievn him such loving memories.
My scan is tomorrow at midday.

fanjodisfunction · 23/09/2012 11:04

elly so glad you have a supporting and understanding midwife. And I have everything crossed for you that your dizziness, and the spotting subsiding is a good sign.

greengoose · 23/09/2012 11:31

ELLy, I really hope things are settling down for you. Your MW sounds lovely. It's sad that it takes being there to 'get' this, but I guess I wouldn't want people to know how we feel either? Do you have the same MW each time or is it a team?
My MW with Merryn was atrocious, she never acknowledged the pregnancy wasn't normal or that Merryn might die, and had a false giddy positivity the whole time. I hope I get a good one this time!

FAN, the boys have had to put up with some awful times this year, and I've been under my duvet much more than any 'wonderful' mum should. But thanks anyway! I guess they understand more than most grown ups in my life how loosing Merryn has changed us, and I'm trying to balance things a little for them.
I will be thinking about you tommorow, are you going on your own?

Moominsarescary · 23/09/2012 11:38

Hi everyone, I'm ok. I've calmed down a little bit although I'm not sure how long it will last!

I phones my consultant but hes away until a week on Monday, which is when I will be seeing him anyway. They can't get me in with the other consultant who deals with stitches untill the same time. Apparently checking the cubical length is a more specialist subject than I thought and can be quite invasive!

I had some involvement with the other consultant when having Jacob and tbh unless it's an emergancy I'd rather not see her again. Dp is also worried about having just anyone check the stitch (a mw could take a look at position etc) because of the risk of infection/agrivating it. When we shave the appointment with my consultant I'm going to see if I can get an extra scan around 22 weeks to check again for funnelling just to put my mind at rest. The pain is due to pressure as the uterus grows and is quite normal when you have a stitch.

Thankyou all for thinking of me xx

green it sounds like your son had a lovely day, congratulations on the bfp

kleine hope you are feeling ok today, its always difficult to hear that they might have been able to diagnose the problem with more specialised equipment. I'm really sorry xxx

fan will be thinking of you tomorrow x

OP posts:
fanjodisfunction · 23/09/2012 11:55

moomins take it easy, I am thinking of you.

green my DH is coming with me.

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