Don your capes and stick your undies on over your trousers for the BESH superhero thread

[HaveALittleFaith]

NC optional but not essential. Create your tag line and describe your outfit in detail. Wanna be BESH superheroes must prove their might by undergoing a gruelling set of tasks completing the BESHtionnaire hidden elsewhere in old threads
Fly on in and make yourself at home in our obviously secret lair :)

That's good, faif. You will get through this if you both want to.

I find it amazing how much medications can influence your personality. For example, I've always been in the "depression is caused by a chemical imbalance not by being sad" camp but it was really brought home to me by the recent episode.

Take drugs which shut down certain hormones => depression. Stop them => depression lifts. It was like a switch being flicked. I am dreading the menopause....

Sorry, got side-tracked there, I think counselling is good, but it is not a cure-all. It would not have made me happier when I was on the drugs. I am sure of that. Sorry for the negative note, but a drug-induced personality change is tricky to deal with. I guess I'm saying not to expect a quick result.

I see the counselling as the only option if we're going to make it as we are now. Our communication is crap. Today is the first time we've really talked in months. Argued about stupid things, yes. He might not change again - I accept this version of him may be permanent - so we need to see if we as individuals can work together to make our marriage work. He's going to ask the consultant about the drugs - I think he'd rather just stop taking them but it depends on whether the medical problem would still be there. These problems have been escalating over months if not years and will take a long time to resolve. There's a lack of respect between us and that's going to take some effort to resolve.

On that note, I'm going to wallow in a bubble bath.

Ah faith I am really so sorry you're having a hard time. Not sure if its any help, but I think most blokes are quite mememe. I know my DH does things that are just manly and they do my head in. When I tell him, he does try harder for a while and then (about a month later), we get into another scuffle.

I am 100% like euro though. I was religious as a child and now am atheist but I definitely don't think that's a reason that you need to worry about - unless he doesn't respect your belief (and visa versa).

I also agree with the depression and the pills and stuff. I go through depression and I make a point of going on AD's and after 6 months or so, I come off them. I don't think it's just about being sad - it's a coping mechanism that just stops coping. But I also think that sometimes, you can move off the pills if they aren't helping you or if they're adding another dimension to the medical diagnosis. My DH gave up on AD's because even though he wanted to die, he at least could perform in the bedroom and he could train. They helped him through a tough spot and then after 4 months, he weaned off them and went back to life.

it's incredibly hard but I think it's positive that he came and hugged you and said you'll get through it. I think the worst bit would be if one of you didn't think it was worth it.

And I am sorry you have to stop TTC. As said, it's for the best but it's still a bit of a double-edged sword and I am really sorry you have to go through it :(

Thanks kick. He was on ADs but stopped because they thought it might aggravate his medical issues. The faith thing is of huge importance to me, who I am, and how we were as a couple. His being atheist could be a deal breaker and he knows that :(

I'm going to take a step back now. I'll do an LP - lurk and update til I feel ready. I appreciate the support but if I'm not TTC and struggling with this I'll just bring you guys down. Luff you all.

Darling faith, you won't bring people down at all. We all share non ttc stuff here, I think because ttc stuff is such a personal thing, it ends up feeling like a safe space in which to share other stuff too. I guess what I'm saying is don't let yourself end up feeling cut off from the option of talking about things here.

100% behind what Norf said Faithy

[sneaks a quick grope]

@ 'do an LP'

I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time Faithy. For what it's worth, I totally understand. I've really appreciated the ESH support I've received over the past year (for all issues, not just TTC-related), but I also needed the time I spent lurking 'away' from MN.

Day by day, isn't it? That seems to be my prevailing anthem.

I second third the idea of going forward with the counselling. You might also want to do a few sessions on your own.

Thanks ladies. As I say, I'm not leaving as such, just retreating til I get my head round things. There's a probability I'll be rather mememe for a while. I just need some headspace.

Back at work today, wishing I'd booked this week A/L to have time at home but I didn't so hey ho. Woman I have issues with is off so at least it's something.

You can be mememe faithy

I do get what you mean about not posting. I was the same and I lurked for a little bit and then realised it wasn't about the actively trying but the moments around that as well.

You can be mememe on here - as everyone else said, it's not exclusively TTC (which is really great).

But you do need some time to kind of grieve...and to accept things. Good luck. I am sure you guys will figure it out

oh my lovely......you know where I am (er....roughly ) and we can meet up for coffee if you need a chat either about this or alternatively about anything but this.

queen we really should do that, regardless! How are you? Sickness settled at all?

norf how are the pee-sticks looking? Still nice and dark?

sickness stays away as long as I don't let myself get hungry.
DH on leave this week but has just departed to London to go to a gig with his best mate. He's staying over with another friend so I have bought myself a tub of Ben and Jerry's to scoff all to myself this evening.

Yesterday my little boy turned 7. I'm still trying to get my head round the fact that he is growing up so fast.

Haven't pissed on any more, faif, as I decided I would limit myself to one or two a week.

Desperately trying to get through my surgery's automated booking system at the moment. Takes about 25 mins to get to front of the queue, and a I am on a blasted train, my signal cuts out at approximately 20 minute intervals. All I want is 5 mins with my favourite lady doctor to tell her I am diffed and am meant to have an early scan Is that so hard? Looks like I might have to walk up in person once this BASTARD train gets in, and see if they will do me a pre bookable later this week. So frustrating, as i am working from the train home today, so it would be so convenient to go up tonight.

Found us yet Sinky?

[helpful thread bump]

Gah! Where the hell did this go?

Is this a superhero killa skillz of invisibility I don't know about?

Sigh

I think I'm going mad. But do have a cheeky midweek gin to calm my nerves.

So. Norf, good luck with whipping the GP surgery into shape. Hello to the old BESH (esp LP who did her best to navigate me back here..)

Whats everyone else up to? I'm cd31. Shall test on thurs/fri am then give the clinic a ring, in the hope they'll now let me rebook my bloods and Fanjocam (let's off damp squib of party popper). Of course, I may be diffed. Yup. Deffo possibility.

and a cheeky squeeze to faife on my way out. We're all here for a cyber chatter/meaningful conversation

Oh. How could I forget.

Fanks Frankle. You're a gem.

Frank did you enjoy the poney jumping?

Morning BESH!

Loved the Showjumping Faithy: think I jumped every fence of the jump off with the GB riders

Team Dressage medals decided today [excited]. We're just in 1st after the first round, so hoping for another good day at Greenwich Park

Forgot to say hi to Hilly! Glad you found the secret lair! Hope the fanjo cam etc gets sorted ok :)

frank when they mentioned the jumping I imagined you watching!

I went for a long walk with DSis last night and talked things through. I think MSB is looking through the opposite of rose tinted glasses. I don't things have been this bad for that long! I've told him no more 'if we make it work' but rather 'as we work through this'. He has instigated about getting the Relate which I'm pleased about. Keep you posted.

Evening all, how's tricks? I am a bit to say that MSB has rung today and booked our Relate assessment! Going 20th August.

frank did you enjoy watching the horses standing still?! How is everyone else aside from super quiet?

I'm here, but revising for this bloody exam. I take it all back - horses are odd, the hormones do different things

The dressage (or dressidge, as I like to pronounce it!) was fabulous. Beautiful and captivating, made me want to get on a proper horse again - don't think my boy would have the temperament for it

Good news on MSB, no? Shows he is committed to resolving any issues?

I lost the fred and I missed a lot. Just a quick squeeze to my buzzwams for faithy and I second all the wise things said already. It is shit, but you will work through it. I have limited experience with pills making you feel rubbish, but I am a lot less miserable now I've stopped injecting myself. And I am going for counselling too.

Waves and pets and nekidness to you all. I am really busy workwise and project BMI still going strong.

And I wrote that before you posted this evening, faif. Good news about the appointment, I am pleased he is showing the commitment!

That's really good that MSB is being proactive, faif.

I had a lovely day out at the Olympics. The Park is amazing and being in the stadium was fantastic - we were right by the flame. It took my mind right off things. And then I just got another pregnancy announcement.

Pregnancy announcements are EVERYWHERE. I've not had any recently but a lot of mates are complaining about it.

faith Glad MSB is sorting out the appointments and looking for ways to resolve all this. Positive step, really :)