TTC after a miscarriage - springy BFPs for festive beanies

[mygirllolipop]

Here's hoping for a shney new spring thread with lots of spring BFPs and some festive beanies so here's some sticky dust...
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(((_)))
Love and luck to all who need it, x

bf - sorry to hear about af

Anyone know how long af takes to come back after ERPC? Now on day 37!

hello ladies, can I join you?

I had a silent mc which was diagnosed at the 12 wk scan 2 weeks ago, had ERPC a couple of days after. Doing ok (although irrationally furious by normally minor irritations) and DS (2 years old, cute as a button) as well as DH have been great. had been ttc for a year, then MC.

wondering about AF - bled (red one day, 2 days mucky colour) for 3 days after ERPC, then 8 days after ERPC had 1 day of bright red blood plus usual symptoms of AF (spots, ratty!) was this AF? should I start ttc again? thanks for any advice you can give.

wishing you all fantastic good luck this month

PS: I haven;t had a chance to read back too long on the mesages, but Smole, my heart went out to you from your msg on Friday. hope you are feeling better.

Smole ((((hugs))))) hope you are feeling a little better today (well, actually hope you are feeling a lot better)

Looks like you could do with a hug too babyfettle. ((((hug))))

Cece - did you bleed for long after the ERPC? Just wondered whether it was possible that your AF and post ERPC loss could have overlapped? Sorry, I don't know much about ERPC but do know how frustrating it is waiting for that 1st AF. I had a late m/c at 18+3 and am now 51 days since my m/c and still haven't had AF (as far as I know)but do know that I OV'd last week

and time4tea ((((hug))) Sorry to hear about your m/c. how horrible to find out like that.
There's lots of different advice re ttc and how long to wait. General consensus seems to be that waiting for 1st AF is only to help with dating but it depends how cautious you want to be. I asked on the pg after m/c thread and they gave some helpful advice - some waited, some didn't but overall it was generally felt that it wouldn't be possible to conceive until your body is ready so you could try whenever you feel ready without worrying (if you are lucky and 'catch' early then your body is ready iyswim). Like most of us on here you are prob desparate to ttc again. Apparently 1st cycle after m/c is often anovulatory (which is why I think I may have had AF without knowing because I was bleeding for over 6 weeks after m/c). I'm sure someone else can add more to what I've said and give other views if I've said anything wrong. Sorry, I'm not an expert but hope that helps a bit.

Time4tea - sorry, forgot to say 'welcome'. hope your stay on this forum will be short

Sounds like we all needed a (((((((((hug)))))))))

Got a letter giving me my first appt to see my consultant if I hadn't had gone private. Just wondering if I can use it to get my results?? I'll ring them later to find out.

Welcome time4tea. So sorry about your m/c. Its horrid to think everythings fine and then be told at the scan its not.

How is everyone else this morning?

Called the doc's. My blood tests results are defintely not back yet. So point keeping the consultants appt as it was for tomorrow.

Try again Thursday I guess. That'll make it 9 weeks.

welcome time4tea. sorry to hear of your loss.

ruthlousie - the thing is I didn't bleed after ERPC at all so I have not really had any bleeding since January! Apart from the brown spotting I had just as the missed miscarriage was happening. It will be 6 weeks this Friday so thinking it may be this week. Miscarriage Association website says 4-6 weeks.... I definitely do not have baby hormones anymore as didpg test just to check and BFN.

welcome T4T - so sorry to hear about your mc. Horrible - but it does seem to get better. I had mine back in Feb and most days are fine now.

Cece, if you discount my 8 weeks of bleeding following my 1st ERCP, my bleeding settled down after the 2nd one after a couple of days and then spotting starting last Fri, with full AF-type bleed (TMI, I know!) yesterday, so that would have been 2 weeks following 2nd ERCP. So very confusing! I'm assuming it is AF!

Trying to write this secretly at work, so can't remember who asked the question, but I too have noticed that I'm much more spotty since ERCP. Suppose hormones are all over the place at the mo.

Thing is I would assume that everyone is very different. I was also told that the first AF could be very very light, or very very heavy! Not very helpful i'm afraid, am I?!

I'm feeling a bit better today, still a bit weepy, but putting that down to hormones.

After all that my AF has arrived with a vengence - think this might be on the 'heavy' side! This from a girl who normally gets through a box of 16 Extra super plus tampons in one day usually! Great I am moving house on Weds!

Cool - we can be "cycle-buddies" now!!! Only joking! Probably is because you're moving that its arrived. Seems to work like that. Hope the packing is going ok?

well as you can see I am on mn and as you can't see ds is busy popping bubble wrap. Boxes all around. Running out of things to pack as we need stuff for tomorrow - so will be busy again tomorrow night doing last minute packing! Will be off line for a while as DH is threatening not to reconnect computer for a weeek so I will unpack and not go online!

As for cycle buddies - I have a 33/34 day cycle so not sure I could keep up!!!!

I had a lovely weekend (ovulation weekend!), and now comes the wait for the next AF...or not. If only. I am going to be having a hysteroscopy in three weeks' time if I am not pg this month. The doc wants to have a look at the area where, before my last m/c, I supposedly had some intrauterine adhesions. The ultrasound showed a normal lining last week, but you can't always see adhesions on ultrasound.

So, I have booked the hysteroscopy but am hoping against hope that I will be cancelling it because I am pg. Keeping on wishing. Good luck to everyone else too.

Hi everyone, and welcome to t4t! this thread has been so quiet for ages, glad to see it's been revived.

It was my ov w/end too, Nicola63, so I'll join you on the long, long wait. I'm trying to not be so preoccupied with it this time, as I can't do with another disappointment. Well, I could cope, but you know what I mean. 10 weeks since my m/c - when it first happened I was so sure I'd be pg again by now! Never mind. Keep taking the folic acid....

T4t - sorry for your terrible loss. You'll find that everyone here knows exactly how you're feeling. I never thought I'd say this, but it will pass, and one day very soon you'll be feeling a lot more positive. I know that nothing anyone says can really help, but you'll get a lot of comfort and hugs here. Take care xx

Yes it's just over 10 weeks since my last m/c too, and I am also trying hard to be non-obsessive and to concentrate on other aspects of life. However, it took me 9 months to conceive again after my first m/c, and so I am scared that this time will also prove difficult and lengthy. And as I am 42 I don't have the time to spare. Every month is like a tick of a very unforgiving clock...

Still, a friend told me last night about a woman she knows who had 8 m/c's in her early 40's and went on to have a baby at 45. That's a very unusual story though. And I can't imagine going through it 8 times. I think I would, though, if that is what happened. I want a baby so badly. (But DH would find that very hard, he already wonders whether we should give up in order to prevent disappointment. It's difficult to explain to him that I don't feel ready to give up).

Oh well, just feeling a little blue and flat today I think. Nothing spectacular, not massively depressed, just...flat...

Nicola, I know hugs have been flying around all afternoon, but here's another one for you (HUG)!! "Flat" was exactly how I felt yesterday when AF arrived.

Good luck to both you and WWW on the "2 week wait"! Fingers-crossed you both will be migrating to a better thread before the end of May!

It is just over 12 weeks since my MC and it seems like an age. I too thought I might be pg again by now, but complications surrounding ERCP has stretched things out much longer than I hoped. Having taken 2 yrs to conceive DD and 9 monthts to conceive this time around, I'm trying not to get too hopeful that I'll suddenly conceive quickly again now.

BTW, Cece, my cycle length is so unpredictable, I couldn't even begin to guess how many days an "average" one will be!! Hopefully, I'll get at least one more chance before the end of June, when DH goes away for 4 months.

thanks to all for your thoughts and understanding. today I was back at work for the first time, dealing with people commiserating - all very kindly and sensitively, maybe I'm just in shock still, but its hard to feel anything much but flat. I'm not really thinking about the baby as such, just the a weird feeling of relief that the days are passing and just flat and that something isn't quite right. hoping that big wave of misery isn't waiting for me somewhere - but I guess you just feel how you feel...

dear nicola63 and WWW, good luck for the 2ww. it's tough waiting. thinking about the 2ww and where I am right now, one thing that has helped the spirits is to have little treats. DH is planning a weekly cocktail hour after work on Friday, experimenting with classic cocktails, and I've been taking special care with food shopping to get really healthy and tasty food. I had resisted charting temperatures etc in the past but bought the Toni Weschler book on taking charge of your fertility, at least taking temps etc gives me something positive to do. I'd appreciate any other tips for coping with the time - one thing I realised these last weeks is that I was getting het up about not conceiving, then once I was pg, getting anxious about the scan. then it all comes to nothing anyway: getting worried really got me nowhere. how do we let the feelings come without overwhelming us?

thinking of you all, thanks again for the solidarity and good luck

Hi all,
Nicola and WWW I'll join you on the 2ww...
Think I have approx 10 days to wait til testing or AF shows up (OV'd last Wed or Thurs according to isiscope and dipstick test which were positive on Tues). Not sure whether this means anything (warning TMI coming up!) but I have loads of CM still although not fertile type, keep thinknig AF has arrived. Had this when conceived Isaac after tested +ve but guess I'm prob just looking too hard for signs of PG even though its silly 'cos I'd only be 4 days even if I was(desparate or what!). Well, at least here you all understand. Thanks

Off to see consultant (not the one I was under when pg) tomorrow to get blood test results and see if we get any answers as to why I m/c'd so late. Don't really expect any answers. Would be nice if this consultant would admit that the other consultant made mistakes in my care but know that is sooo not going to happen.

Hi,

I've really only got till next Thursday till I should get AF or be able to test. Hopefully the latter. I don't feel as anxiuos about it this month, I think probably because I truly don't think I've managed to conceive this month. So if and when AF comes it will be no great shocker. I've been doing my temping charts too which showed that I ov'd last Friday. TBH, even though I was temping, I still don't know for sure when I actually did ov - it all gets so annoying! Every twinge I feel, I'm convinced I'm ov'ing. I can't figure out what my CM is doing! Sorry, that's gross. I feel like going back to the days when the most I did was roughly guess when I was due to ov and bd then - nothing more. Do you know what I mean?
anyway, here's hoping at least a couple of us will be leaving this thread soon and moving onto a pg one....hope you're all doing ok today. I had a bit of a 'moment' this morning as I had to drive past the hospital where it all happened, I had a dreadful flashback to that horrific moment of realisation while looking at my baby's heart not beating on the scan. Got a bit teary again - first time in ages. But I'm ok now. Guess it will always be with me.

I am pretty sure I ov'ed around last Friday as the follicle was seen on the scan on Thurs and the ultrasonographer said that it was the size of being just about to ovulate. So that I do know at least.

About the flashback stuff, I know exactly what you mean. The same ultrasonographer that did this scan last Thurs was the one who saw no heartbeat and had to break to news to me and DH about the m/c. So, no fault of his (he was very kind about it) but it gave me a sad and odd feeling to see him.

Funny, you both bringing up the scan. I too had some flashbacks to that moment recently. Hadn't really thought about the actual moment we saw baby and realised there was no heartbeat for a while - too wrapped up in dealing with ERCP aftermath. I suppose now all that has calmed down, I suppose I've had a chance to think about everything else.

Keep thinking that I'd be giving up work for maternity leave at the end of next month (was planning on going as early as possible)! Just feeling life is unfair today, but I'm still putting my grumpy mood down to AF hormones. Having not had one since last October, its amazing how quickly you forget how horrible it is!! Especially while TTC!

BTW, interesting what you were saying about ovulation. I've always had really irregular periods and never had any idea when I'm ov. Only way I know I have is by taking my BBT, but that always tells you 12-36 hours after it has actually occured doesn't it, which is generally too late to actual do anything about it. Suppose we'll just keep at the every other night BD-ing. Don't think DH will complain about that side!!

babyfettle, I looked back at my cycle to when I last conceived, ie the baby I lost, to see if I could figure out when I'd ov'd that time. We had only just started talking about ttc again then so I could pinpoint exactly when we'd bd'd (sad I know) - at the time I had thought we'd been too early, but it turned out I must've ov'd on about cd11 - unless of course dh's little swimmers survived for about 3/4 days! Which obviously is possible. That surprised me, as I have a regular 28 day cycle. Did that make sense? Anyway. Maybe you could do the same and work it out that way, it certainly helped me a bit.

I know that the temping method tells you after the event, so you should look out for other signs too, like your CM, cervix position, ov pains...I'm sure you know all this! It's so easy to become obsessed, isn't it? I'm going to calm down about it all if AF comes this month. No more OPK tests! It'll happen when it's meant to. I feel in my heart it will all be alright in the end.

when I conceived last time, it was bd'ing every other day, straight after end of AF, I'm pretty sure I ov'd early (day 10 or so) even though regular 28 day cycle. A friend's sister has been going to a fertility clinic and they recommended bd'ing every other day (although apparently advice is different with low sperm counts...)

Thanks WWW - I've read about people on MN going on about CM, and my sister has mentioned in the past, but I've never really noticed any difference. Don't suppose, I've actively looked before though. Not entirely sure I want to go down that road either, as like you I don't want to get obsessed by it all. Both times I've conceived in the past has been when we've not been actively trying, ie just forgetting about it for a while. So maybe I should just leave it to fate and see what happens. It is so tricky though, as we do want another baby and soonish, so there is not a huge gap between new one and DD, who's is 2 now. But our added problem is that DH is off for 4 months over the summer due to work, which kind of puts a spanner in the works, as he is kind of vital to the whole process.

Suppose we could freeze some swimmers and use a turkey baster !!! Only joking, to those who think we might seriously be considering this!

Anyway, off to enjoy some wine - one of the better things about AF, no guilty feelings about drinking a bit more than a couple of glasses of wine!