TTC after a miscarriage - springy BFPs for festive beanies

[mygirllolipop]

Here's hoping for a shney new spring thread with lots of spring BFPs and some festive beanies so here's some sticky dust...
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(((_)))
Love and luck to all who need it, x

Thanks for the stats Nikki, I'll add mine too...
I'm worried about saying the wrong thing when I don't know where people are coming from so end up saying nothing which isn't very supportive. Sorry. The m/c association might be a first step for you towards counselling.

If you or others here are having a particularly bad day then I'd recommend the m/c association. I rang them 3 days after Isaac died. I was in a right state but spoke to someone for about 30-40 mins. Their telephonists are trained counsellors and are more than 'happy' to talk things through with you. I know its not the same as seeing a regular counsellor to work things through but it might be just what you need to help get things a bit more into perspective? This forum is great but its not the same as having someone who you can pour your heart out to is it? I think here we all understand that everyone is hurting too which although is a comfort to know we are not alone does mean you can't really 'let it all out'.

Thanks for the hug Rubles. my due date was 15th August too . I have a friend due around same time too, she came round this am. She's lovely but its sooo hard. I really hope I'm pg b4 August. I was encouraged by the stats thread as i didnt recognise quite a few names so am assuming most have gone over to pg forums after BFP's? I have practically finsihed on pg forums too - my 'help threatened miscarriage for past 4 weeks' thread has practically died out now - that was my first mumsnet thread - joined 'cos we were desperate for info but didnt expect to meet so many lovely people.

My due date would have been August 16th. Funny that we were all due at the same time..well, maybe we all will be again - and soon, I hope!

Nikki, happy birthday for yesterday....as for the going out drinking, I'm the same! I think it's just getting old.... I'm supposed to go out later this week with friends and am already thinking of ways to get out of it. Don't trust myself not to burst into drunken tears after a couple of glasses of vino collapso...

I really hope to be pg before my due date too, RL.. but am trying not to set targets like that for myself. I could do without pressure at the moment.

Think I'll call the MA tomorrow. They emailed me back straight away, a nice letter, and pointed me in the direction of other websites and literature. I'll try anything to make me feel a bit better, you know?

{{{{{{{hugs to everyone}}}}}}}}

Those kind of anniversary dates are tough, last time I found out I was pregnant on my ds's birthday and my due date was my dd's birthday! So very poignant for that too.

Hello to everyone I'm keeping my head down and trying not to get to aarghh about ttc again. I've bought an isis scope ovulation saliva thingy and been temping, as per Toni Weschler, trying to get in touch with my bloody cycle
Looks very much like I ovulate a good while earlier than I thught if both systems are reliable.
Anyway hope all is well, for all
Anybody on the 2week wait at the mo?
I've got a really sick dd so not much romance going on here :(
Take care all

Hey Piffle, I'm very interested to see the outcome of your using the salivascope thingy - so if you have ferns from day 7, that means you OV by day 10? so is your AF cycle only 24 days? If its eg 28 that that would suggest all these statements about OV'ing just 14 days before AF are wrong? Maybe thats why it took us 6 months last time

oooh, I must get an isiscope! Even if just to see the ferns phenomenom

I've bought one of those as well, Piffle. Quite excited about using it - how sad is that?

I have still got AF - much heavier than usual, bleuch, but once it's over I'm going to follow
\link{http://pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm\this plan}, sounds like it's worth a try.

Its really interesting with the weschler book and saliva scope - it becomes more about understanding your cycle than ttc IYSWIM, still focussed but less obsessive.
I'd be stunned if I ov'd at day 10 as my cycle is 27-32 days - will be interesting to see when af arrives this month
Have bene sneaking in bd's at weird times too, as dh off work helping me with dd. afternoons and mornings have been on offer, which we never do!

welcome jmum6, most on here are ttc but there are some, including me, who are not at present but feel at home on here with friends. The only thing holding me back from ttc is a job so I am working on that right now.hmmm maybe we could also start a thread in bereavement - entitled coping after mc? what you think?

Ruthlouise you have nothing to apologise for hun, I know what you mean about worrying about what to say in fear of being taken the wrong way. But anything on here is without judgement If you look at some of my posts you might think "what planet is she on!" hehe but I am not too scary

With regard to the people on the stats thread pretty much all have graduated to the pg threads now, although they do pop in from time to time to say hi.

WWW good luck with the MA today

Rubles thanks for making me realise that I really must speak to the counsellor and I must make some time to call her.

Thanks you are such lovely ladies.

piffle I am also interested about this fern business fingers crossed it works for you x 2 wks to go then

how is your dd now?

FN, I am actually fine now. I still have moments when I feel a bit sad and I might well up, but I am fine. My daffodils have come out where I buried my 'baby', so sometimes I go and have a look at them and think about it all. I think I have diverted all my energies and attention to ttc again, so maybe if it doesn't happen this month it'll hit me quite hard. I don't think it has been noticeable that I have been avoiding this girl actually, it has been less than two months and they don't live too close to us - dp goes out with her dh on their own, and I have met them both once at a party since, and I just walked away/changed the conversation/didn't listen if things were getting too baby-oriented.

Piffle - I'm on the 2 week wait. I'm 9 days post-ov now. I think I felt positive to begin with but this week I am starting to think that it hasn't happened...it may be a bit of subconcious expectation-management going on, I don't know...I suspect I may find it tough if AF comes you see, so I need to try and dampen the blow.

Evenhope - how are you doing? Are you still getting the symptoms? Have you had any bleeding or done a test?

WWW - I saw that plan, but it could mean a lot of bding if you start early and have a long cycle. The problem with us is we don't do it that often naturally, so it would be difficult for us to keep it natural, fun and spontaneous whilst following that. If you can do it and keep it fun, it sounds like the best way to do it, defo.

Hopefully I'll have a busy day at work today, becuase the end of cycle madness is starting to kick in with me.

Have a good day all!

Nikki - sorry I missed your bday yesterday happy birthday and some of us graduates like to keep posting on here for comfort and to help those who are possibly graduating v soon!

dd has been really grotty Nikki
The leg got bettr to be replaced with vicious high temps and tonsilitis and now gastro upset and cough and cold starting
Had a roten weekend, she has vomited blood and allsorts, been in and out of A+E, out of hrs doctors and childrens ward
I say today she seems much chirpier and we only had to get up to her 5 x last night!

Oh piffle you all must be so exhausted. huge {{{HUGS}}} to DD hope she gets better very very soon. Poor thing I bet she is totally knocked for six and drained. One thing is bad enough but all that. x

Thanks mygirl I wasn't celebrating I had monday afternoon off but just kept it low key. I don't like my birthdays at the best of times to be honest I find mine are always loads of hype for nothing and someone always seems to let me down...so I try to expect nothing and then I won't be disappointed

Ruthlouise: yes I did know exactly what was being tested for because I am in the medical field myself (although not at all in this speciality, and was at med school a very long time ago so not very good on the latest knowledge in specialities that are far from mine) and so have been very involved in asking for all the tests and results etc. Although have had to dig out old books and do internet research to interpret the results to my satisfaction!

FirstNikki please do see the counsellor, it may well make a big difference. It's not a scary thing to do, really, and it does not mean that you are totally not coping. You don't have to be at bottom before asking for a hand up!

Off on the holiday soon and so won't be around for a bit after tomorrow. Will be ttc very hard in the Swiss Alps! Nice and warm under the covers....

Oh thank you Nicola I will do my best to see one.

And you have a wonderful holiday in the alps with your family the kids will be so so excited. And a very happy BD'g time

Nikki a very happy birthday for Monday poppet, soryr with dd I totally missed that post.
I hope you're feeling better now too.
xxxxxxx

FirstNikki - thanks for making me feel welcome and a belated happy birthday. Although I'm not actively ttc (Ive got a 7mth ds, after suffering 2 mc and 1 ectopic, having pcos and being on clomoid reatment for 13 months) I understand what everyone here is going through, having gone through it myself.
Please do see the counsellor FN, don't let it get a grip.

hello

saw the midwife this morning, just by chance. She told me the test results had come back from the hospital, and they found nothing wrong, ie no obvious cause for my m/c. Nothing wrong - so why did my baby die? Don't know whether to be relieved or angry. Suppose at least I know there's no reason not to ttc again....but I'm still so sad. Would've been 20 weeks today.
Was meant to have my next scan tomorrow.

WWW - {{{{hugs}}}} hun, I know its so horrid when we don't get the results we are hoping for. I was the same the other week and so understand your upset. Its a huge let down but the anger and frustration does ease. I think its because we need an answer in order to move on, but having read the majority of a mc book by Lesley Regan, I understand that sometimes there just isn't an answer. Why on earth do we have to be put through this torment.......but try and look at it another way (although I understand why you say so why did it happen if everything was ok) in you can conceive and will again. Your angel will be born soon. xxxx

WWW I do sympathise. I had hoped too for some real jump-out-at-you answer after my second m/c, so that I could be sure to do something about whatever was going wrong. Even if it meant I had something wrong with me. But all that has been found so far is a slight thyroid problem (which is now being treated) but that is very iffy as a cause for the m/c's, so I remain frightened about what could happen in future. I know exactly what you mean.

Sorry, have been reading your posts today but not responded. trying to sort the funeral is 'doing my head in' to coin a phrase . Mind u posted on another MN forum this afternoon which has been a great help.

Thanks Nikki for your reassurance

WWW, Nikki and Nicola - I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you hoped for. That must be so frustrating (understatement of the year). I don't expect any answers when we have our debriefing - It was me that let Isaac down with the sub-amniotic bleed . Don't know why it happened but am told its soooo unlikely to happen again. so far I've only had 1 m/c so can't imagine what its like to have more than that (and hope never to have to). You are amazing ladies.

Nicola - Have duvetastic fun on your holiday!
Oh, don't forget to pack some babydust...
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Apologies to everyone i seem to be ignoring - still trying to getmy head around who you all are

riley3 - saw you updated your stats but you've not posted for a few days. Are you back at work now? how r u doing?

Good morning everyone - I just thought I'd bump this thread up to the top of the list.

FirstNikki - have you got your doc's appointment today?

Morning

RuthLouise you did not let Isaac down hunny it just nasty nature being very cruel. Please don't blame yourself. {{hugs}}

Rubles no I don't have a drs appointment, if you are referring to my results I just have to ring the drs...if its the counsellor I still need to do that

How are you this morning?

Nikki - I feel I let him down because the threatened miscarriage went on for 6 weeks and I should not have trusted the consultant. I thought he knew what he was doing but had a nagging feeling that he didn't have a clue. My own research told me the condition was very rare. I did push for second opinion but only the week before Isaac died and when consultant didn't respond to my calls I should have shouted louder. Sadly, I'm not a pushy person. One of the more specialised London FMC's may have been able to save Isaac . Isaac was such a survivor - he hung on for so long but needed me to fight for his cause.

welcome jmum6 - sorry its a bit late. thanks for posting on the other thread

Piffle - good luck with the 2 week wait. Is anyone else waiting?