A concerned other half needs advice

[paolocee]

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

Thanks Maples and Scarredbutnotbroken. Yep, she has a pretty clockwork cycle. And you're right. No AF, no conclusion.

I have just read this thread sitting on the edge of my seat with my fingers crossed!! I really hope you get your BFP.
I got pregnant with my daughter very quickly but it took 15 years to be lucky enough to have my son. Of course, I hope you don't have to wait that long, but what I am trying to say (in a very confused way-sorry!!) is that it can happen even after so long. Easier said than done, I know, but relax.
I wish you so much luck x

25 is about in the middle - it's not supersensitive (some are 10 or 15) but it's not the least sensitive of the ones you can buy OTC either. I think you'll just have to keep testing every morning, or every few days, until you either get a positive or her period arrives.

If she has a gynae/fertility specialist that you're seeing she should definitely let them know about this, because it does sound as if you conceived this cycle even if it's not working out.

I conceived twice the month immediately after an early loss. I've also heard that you are more fertile at that point. Worth bearing in mind anyway.

Also dd first positive was the faintest line ever - according to the packet it was an inconclusive test. I bought a digi one to get an answer. With dd was the other way around - digi neg - other test faint positive but 2nd time around you just know!

Sorry it was a BFN this morning. That sucks. I think that if the test brand is the same sensitivity of the one that picked up a positive a couple of days back, that this might sadly be a very early loss. TBH I think that 25miu is a fairly sensitive test that should be accurate when not testing early. Of course until AF arrives you don't have a final answer and I am still crossing my fingers for you.

If this doesn't end in the much-wanted pregnancy this time, I hope as others have pointed out, that this points to the fact that you can conceive and that you will very quickly again.

have been holding my breath while reading. still hoping for a positive result. also, as others have said, i know several people who had a loss after years of trying and then got pg again very soon afterwards, so hoping that is the worst case scenario.

could your gf have flu?

and as someone else said, definitely look into the luteal phase thing - I have a friend who had a problem with short luteal phase, and there was something she took/did which helped promote conception. sorry not got more info right now but I am sure MN can help.

wishing you both all the best.

I think that is fairly sensitive tbh but i still have everything crossed for you both, as others say no conclusion until AF arrives x

Thanks everyone for your kind words this morning. We're off to the local tax office (when I say local, it's a 2 hour drive, but so is everywhere up here) to register so at least we have something really pleasant to take our minds off things.

Really feel for you both. Is awful being in limbo (although not quite as awful as a trip to the tax office....)

Desparately hoping it's still just a bit too early

The joys of being an expat eh? Sheesh. Dunno what Sweden is like, but I'd say bring every imaginable document, plus IDs, photos, phone bills, bank statements, birth certs and maybe any awards you ever won at school, just to be on the safe side.

Ah, I'm so sorry. It does now sound like it may have been a chemical pregnancy. I think this is good news in a way as you know you can conceive and it will be easier next month. As everyone else said, don't give up until her period starts, but with a 25ml test and four days since your last positive (which at most would be 10ml), you should have had a positive today. It's shit and there's nothing anyone can say that makes it better.

I really would recommend agnus castus, inositol and vitamin b6 for your wife (all supplements, which I am convinced helped me finally get pregnant).

Hey MainlyMaynie

I think she takes all those in one form or another apart from the agnus stuff. Yep, it is shit. But it's also really, really baffling (all the continuing symptoms mullarkey). Anyway, thanks for that - we're already being positive and preparing ourselves mentally for next month. And I've been put in charge of diary-filling. So, by my calculations, we'll be testing next in April 2015....

My experience of early losses is that the symptoms did continue until the bleeding started, even if the tests had gone negative. If a pregnancy is failing very early on, the level of hcg may quickly have dropped below what a test will detect but that's not to say there's not still any circulating, and by definition your progesterone is still high until the bleeding begins (it's the drop in progesterone that triggers the bleeding). So symptoms associated with some hcg and elevated progesterone can continue for a few days even in this situation. Which just makes the whole experience even worse I know.

I actually felt a bit better (physically) once the bleeding got underway - as if my body had been sort of holding its breath.

I'm sure your wife has read everything possible after five years, but "taking charge of your fertility" explains everything really clearly and has some advice about short luteal phases.

:(

Sorry to hear it was BFN.

Look after each other.

I had an early loss, too. I think it took 7 days for AF to arrive after the BFP. I got pregnant the very next month. I really hope this is the case for you too as it's awful having your hopes dashed like that.

...and yes, you may be right... are you a doctor by any chance?

Having lunch alfresco in a sunny Luleå harbour. It could be worse. Kalidasa, wise words as ever. I think you're 100% correct.
And she's signed straight up with that website.

At the moment GF is being very stoic. I'm bottoming out a little. Still, we've got the tax office out of the way.

Thanks again for all your kind words.

Hope you're having a nice lunch. Maybe you two should have a nice shag when you get home, never know when she might be ovulating. It sounds impossible but can happen! and you deserve a bit of fun.

I'm sorry there hasn't been good news- If it does turn out to really be a negative, my one bit of advice would be accupuncture, if you haven't tried it yet. Alone or alongside any conventional route you may go down.

Acupuncture or shag? Acupuncture or shag? Hmmm..... Tough one.

Sadly it'll be neither. 2 hours of Curb Your Enthusiasm and a bottle of wine. Then blessed, uninterrupted sleep.

CockDodger. Thanks for the funniest name and the most encouraging addendum to this bloody awful 5 days.

How's it going today?

Morning just checking in hoping you are both doing as well as you can be

Hey. Not good at all today. She's in absolute bits. Still feels pregnant but knows she isn't. Doesn't help that her mother is showing all the empathy of a psychopath.
Thanks for asking.

Shit sorry :(

AF? Sorry about the empathy deficit - she does have a load of random strangers cheering you both on thiugn