A concerned other half needs advice

[paolocee]

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

I do not believe that we are all equal. The only thing that I will tell people to actual do is have a lot of sex and put a pillow under their bums.

I do not tell anyone that they can pinpoint when they ovulate or that if your boobs are sore, you're pregnant. I do not say that if you put a wedding ring over your tummy, you will know if you are pregnant with a phantom or a real baby. I do tell people that if they chart their temps they will know for SURE when they ovulate or that if you know what date your neighbour had a water pump put in, you're having a girl.

You have a problem with me because I try not to give false hope. I am honest about the true facts of conception and I don't kumbaya and hold hands about symptoms and fallacies.

Fine so I don't believe in bullshitting. Does that make either of us right or wrong? I would have thought it just made us different.
And I think most people probably need more practicality in the 2ww than fallacies and wives tales.

I assume you're talking to purpledragon not me? Because I don't agree with old wives tales either. I felt like I was getting my period both times I was pregnant. (Although on 13 DPO with DS I couldn't finish a glass of wine, which was most unlike me. I didn't link it to pregnancy though, as anyone who has tried to conceive for years knows that nothing but a positive pregnancy text actually means pregnancy. And that doesn't guarantee a baby). I can tell when I've ovulated though. I've read plenty of peer-reviewed articles, believe me. Four years is a long time to be researching this stuff.

Mainly - whoops yes. That was directed at PurpleDragon - sorry.

I think it's funny that because I've not had a baby, I am yelled down when I say (verbatim!) what you just said that the only accurate symptom is a positive pregnancy test.

It's amazing how there are people who will happily shout you down for being practical. I will not, nor will I ever, give false hope or any unsound medical advice. May I be struck down with lightening for daring to not think the same as every other woman in the world

maples

This was your post:

^I've been actually advised by a senior gynae to chart bbt. So he obviously thinks it works.

The duo fertility patch thing that sticks on your arm takes around 2,000 temps a day. Because it does that it can actually give advance warning of ov because it recognises the patterns of the few days before bbt rises. This is not possible with manual charting.^

This is VERY different to the "one temperature a day" BBT tests that are advocated on MN. This is a constant monitoring of what your body is doing.

And just so you know - I know all about how different body temperatures and hormones increase and decrease. My insulin needs change from day to day depending on it - so that kind of constant monitoring would be good even from a non-TTC perspective.

I didn't know that could do that though - it's very interesting. Can you post a link?

WHY do my italics not work? :(

Do you do the duo-fertility thing? Sorry - I think I've misunderstood your post??

How does your gynae teach you to chart?

I recommend temping and charting using the fertility friend website/app. Usually it confirmed what I knew but the paid for version also lets you compare your charts so you can see if your pattern is different that month to other months.