A concerned other half needs advice

[paolocee]

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

Yes, the negative in the morning must have been worrying, but it's not that surprising after a negative the night before as her HCG levels must be borderline. Were they all the clearblue digitals? With one positive test and high temps, she almost certainly is pregnant and you're now just waiting to see if it sticks. I really feel for you, it's such an anxious time.

Thanks TodaysAGoodDay. I've mentioned to her that you said I'm a caring partner about 7 times now. I'm not getting bored of saying it but I think she may be getting a teensy bit weary of hearing it.

MainlyMaynie, thanks again. It's weird that such a binary thing (after all, you're either pregnant or you're not) should be so bloody complex and anxiety-ridden.

Yes I had a couple of early losses immediately before this pregnancy and the more you experience/find out about this sort of thing the more you realise that very early pregnancy is a surprisingly grey area. Even a 'chemical' pregnancy is more advanced than a conception which never implants, and some people think once you add those in around 50% or more of conceptions fail. It's an everyday miracle (cliche alert!) but such a lot of very precise things have to go right in those first few weeks for a pregnancy to get going.

It was obvious I was pregnant each time long before it was time to test (immediate sickness) but loads of women report early pregnancy symptoms identical to their usual premenstrual symptoms so I wouldn't worry about that. It makes sense because the rise in progesterone between ovulation and your period is in any case designed each month to protect any fertilised egg that might be trying to implant.

Good news about the temp.

Thanks Kalidasa. Temp still quite high, a hunger for snacks and as grumpy as all hell. Could go either way.

High temperature is a good sign, and feeling premenstrual is irrelevant because the symptoms can be exactly the same. Not everyone can tell the difference between early pregnancy and PMT. Tests just aren't always that reliable at such an early stage, unfortunately. easy for me to say, but maybe it's for the best that you can't test again until tomorrow. I hope it's a viable pregnancy, but even a chemical one would show that you can conceive and implantation can take place- so that's a start. Best of luck, if not this month then next.

She's so cranky at the moment there had better be something bloody good at the end of this.

Day 4 - Still no AF. Symptoms now include sore gums, headache, slightly high temperature and a sore throat. Still mild cramping. Refusing to Google any of the new symptoms. Only mild crankiness this morning. And that's mainly me.

Good luck. I know ttc very stressful for men too. I only realised quite how much when we did finally conceive and dh looked visibly better.

well no af on day 4 is good! esp if she is normally really regular :)

i would try not to over annalyse every little symptom, tho it IS hard i know!

hoping for a BFP soon :)

5madthings

You're right about overanalysing. You can even get a hit with "rabies" and "early pregnancy symptom". Ok, I may have made that up.

Hi just thought I'd post, read your thread and her symptoms sound very pos, I've got my fingers crossed for you both, this thread is the cutest thing ever you sound like a great partner

Yellowflowers
It's stressful because we want the same thing. And because I can't bear to see her upset and anxious.

She's the same way with me when I'm watching football.

Kittykatsforever

Thanks very much. Everyone on this thread has been so kind.

New symptom. Perhaps TMI. Runny bottom. Must. Not. Check. Google.

Could be nerves.

Frankly most things could probably be symptoms of early pregnancy, women have such different experiences, so resist the temptation!

Thanks Frangelina. You're right - I'm pretty sure it's nerves. Anyway, got her out of the house to take her mind off things.

Sorry, Flangelina.

Just read this thread, you sound lovely and very supportive. I am really hoping for a positive result for you. You are right to try to stay away from google, almost every symptom can be attributed to early pregnancy or not......

I did have a sore throat in the first few days each time. But to be honest you'll always find someone for whom your symptom was pregnancy-related. Hold your nerve! Are you testing again today?

Hi Kalidasa. We're hoping to wait until tomorrow to test again. But she's out shopping in the local town now, so who knows what she'll return with?
Never known nerves like it.

My gums bled a bit. We'll all be gutted if it's BFN. Fingers crossed for you both!

Fingers crossed for you! X

Just wanted to wish you both luck and hoping the next few days brings good news.

Everything crossed for you guys :)

No more advice I'm afraid but wishing you both lots of luck.