A concerned other half needs advice

[paolocee]

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

Thanks akaEmmaFrost. Me too! And we will. Tomorrow morning.

Crossing my fingers for you and hoping. You sound lovely. It's not often that a man comes to MN for advice about his partner and leaves with all his limbs intact!
When this is all done and dusted, can we keep you please?

I have everything crossed for you both. Absolutely everything.

At the risk of sounding all "memememe" - we've been at it for the better part of a year. Loooong story short but landed up (5 weeks ago), going to A&E with extreme thirst and nearly dead (basically). Turned out I had a sugar level of 37 and my overall glucose levels are actually too high to carry on TTC

I am now a half woman, with Type 1 Diabetes (where the f**k that came from, I have no idea) and waiting for sugar to be normal before we carry on trying.

Because we've been going at it for a year, they should put us straight on fertility crap.

Based on all that "you will fall pregnant chop chop" theory of all my mates who fell pregnant within a month or two, we'd worked out our baby would have been due now.

Aside from the Type 1 Diabetes though. That could have been nasty...

7 kids between them in about 6 months.

Surely you mean 6 years?

Also sending you and your DP all best wishes and "be upduffed" vibes, will come back tomorrow hoping for positive news!!

When you put it like that it makes sense-and everyone deals with things differently You really do sound lovely I am keeping everything crossed for you and your partner.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss
I can't say I wasn't just a tad nervous. But everyone's been so welcoming. I'll continue to watch my step, though.

Thanks StiffyByng, I really appreciate it.

KickTheGuru
Forgive me, I have no idea how Type1 Diabetes could affect a PG. Please elaborate (if you want).

Juneau, sorry, I was exaggerating for comic effect. I must try harder.

toomuchonthatendofthemoney, here's to upduffedness all round. And where does that name come from?

Mama1980, thanks very much. There is a warped logic at play, honest!

Also couldn't just read and run. Really hope it turns out well for you both. Don't suppose you have a twin brother?
PS I too had a DC when 40 so don't lose hope.

Well basically - you get a three monthly percentage of how your blood sugar has been. So, because my doctor (or nurse) didn't pick it up when I went to them a few times saying I couldn't breathe or make my own spit (drinking 6L of liquid etc etc - but thought it was all pregnancy so just left it!). It means that the sugar in my system just kept building up. Type 1 isn't like Type 2 - Type 1 is an autoimmune when your body attacks your pancreas.

The short is that normal people have an overall level of sugar for 3 months of 3.5% - 5.5%. A diabetic should keep it under about 8%. Mine was 15.6% when I admitted to hospital and now its at 11.9%. It needs to be under 7% before they will let me conceive.

It means that if I had to fall pregnant now, my baby would have a higher risk of having a congenital defect.

Once the levels are down and I control them there, there should be no other real issues. I just watch what I eat. It's just depressing to be told that you can longer TTC - you just have to suck it up and "do it for your body".

Watching with interest and hoping with everything crossed here too, OP. When are you going to do the next HPT?

Resipsa, thanks. No, sorry, I'm the oppressed younger brother of two elder sisters.

KickTheGuru, that sounds bloody horrible. How long before you'll be back on the TTC bike? So to speak.

Hahaha let's sell the OP to the highest bidder!

Erm...no idea to be honest. Whenever my levels come back down. That depends on a variety of factors (least of all that they were so high only 5 weeks ago). Which means probably at least another 2 months wait?
Very depressing.

Back to you. When you testing? In the morning? Or enjoying the scent of being pregnant??

HeartsTrumpDiamonds. Tomorrow morning, I think. If the hormone levels are low, not sure there's much point risking more disappointment by not testing with FMU. (That acronym always makes me think of long-life milk).

I always think of "f* my uterus"...

KickTheGuru. Tomorrow morning. It's not so much a scent as the merest, faintest whiff. Two months isn't so bad. Chin up.

I know. Logic right? My heart is unhappy but my head is about the love!

Please let us know (kind of after you tell other people who DO matter).

Really, really crossing fingers for you both. And I never cross fingers ;)

KickTheGuru, I really appreciate it. And of course I will. And I'll even start crossing my digits for you come late September/early October.

Yes, tomorrow morning would be best. Often when you test during the day, the test isn't conclusive. I first poas in the mid afternoon at 36 days, and while the line was clearly visible it was relatively faint. You don't mention how many days into the cycle she is, but if it's much less than 36 then it's a good idea not to test yet. You've been through the mill enough already. I suggest going and doing something fun to take your mind off things.

36 days? We first tested on Friday, when she was due on. It's day 31 now. You reckon we should wait until Saturday? Sheesh, that's a tough ask.

No depending on her cycle length but normally, you can start testing about 14 days after she would have ovulated.

The recommendation is to wait two days (since the hcg increases every second day) between a BFN and a separate test

And, I'd love some fun believe me, but I'm working (well, I am when I'm not on here.....).

I understand why you're waiting. I waited a few days just because it was nice to think 'wow, I might be pregnant'. Are you sure about when she ovulated? I really hope it's good news tomorrow!

Good luck to you both. Hoping it all works out for you x