A concerned other half needs advice

[paolocee]

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

Thanks so much for all your kind words. I dare not show her this thread yet. I don't think she could take the pressure.
She has returned with two tests. They're a Swedish brand - Preg - and they use pink ink. They're just sitting there winking at us.

IF - and I know this is a big 'if'- she is up the duff, when would that just-about-to-get-her-period feeling stop?

Again I'm afraid it varies from person to person in my experience I bled almost everyday when I was pregnant so that feeling never really left. My symptoms did become more clear cut though very sore boobs, very sick etc. which do not happen every month.

One of the many (MANY) cruel things about TTC is that the symptoms of getting your period are almost indistinguishable from those of early pregnancy.

If she's up the duff, she could have those cramps for weeks.

Thanks.
Woah, I thought the road to getting a 'possible' was rough. Can see why Madge and Brangelina went straight to the ready to wear section instead of trying a little tailoring.

yes for pretty much the wholeof the first trimester i felt like i was about to get my period any moment, that combined with the extra ahem dampness of pregnancy (tmi) meant frequent trips to the toilet where i was expecting the worst!

fingers crossed for you both :)

Did you do another test?

No, KickTheGuru, not yet. Two reasons.

1. Want to give AF a chance to show up.
2. We're very big chickens.

4 days late you should get a pretty conclusive test result Now I think.

Mama1980
Didn't you read reason 2?

There are two routes you can take right now (we had a chemical pregnancy in December).

1. Bask in the glory of being very big chickens and live a life like you're pregnant (although, the biggest trouble with this is that you get VERY sad if you turn out to be not pregnant).

1. Suck it up and do the test. 4 days late means you have a 98% chance of the test being correct.

I can't imagine what you're going through though. It's been agony for us and we've been at it for a year. It must be hell on earth for you guys.

KickTheGuru
Believe me, there's very little glorying round here. Just tension. We said on Saturday morning, just after the 2nd BFN, that we'd wait until 5 days after and test first thing. We want to get as accurate a result as possible and then move on.
Also, we had no tests as everywhere here shuts on Sundays.

And, KickTheGuru, sorry to hear you're in the same boat. It's no fun.

Never have I wanted a positive result so much !
Am lighting a candle for you both , you lovely people x

What about popping to a doctor and getting a blood test?

Yeh - I want a positive for you guys so badly.

The annoying thing (as someone else said) is that the symptoms you get before you get AF and before you get a positive pregnancy test are both as a result of an increase of progesterone. It's only when you miss the AF and progesterone keeps rising (pregnancy) that you start to get proper symptoms.

The only symptom you can get is a positive pregnancy test or the dreaded arrival of AF.

Gaaaah

Wishing you well. I had sore throat and gums with each pregnancy early on too. Will keep fingers crossed.

KickTheGuru, spot on.

Really, I think the only possible sensible reaction to this whole mullarkey is 'Gaaaah.' It utterly defies logic.

And TopsyTurner, that is a LOVELY thing to say. Thank you.

Thanks Barleysugar. I now have my eyes crossed.

People who fall pregnant quickly piss me off. We should have some kind of stoning method... ;)

I did but for me the doubt is the worst, I just wanted to Make sure you were aware that by now a accurate result should be assured. I had a negative when I was 2 days late but still didn't feel right went to the dr who told me that by 4 days late you are almost guaranteed the correct test result and in my case yep a negative at day 2 had become a positive by day 4. I'm so hoping for a positive result for you both

I had the worst PMT EVER! Only it wasn't PMT because was pregnant . Both times.

I hope that's the same for your DP.

Oh and Take The Test!

KickTheGuru, with you on that. How DARE they make it look simple? My 2 elder sisters had 7 kids between them in about 6 months. If, IF, DP is preggers the poor child will have a 40-year-old cousin.

Mama1980.
Part of the reason we're prevaricating is that it has been 5 years without the merest glimmer of hope. Even though we're so tense if you were to twang either of us the resultant sound would only be audible to a passing bat, it's almost nice to think we MIGHT be pregnant. Even if we're pretty sure we're not and neither of us is particularly enjoying it. I know it sounds odd but there it is.