After m/c - the wine and shagging thread: no 2!

[wilderumpus]

Hello ladies!

So we have had our mc's... and are moving on and thinking about making new babies :) Hurray, hurray!

thanks hee am dead sad to be out this month. Dh won't dtd tonight, he won't make a fri 13th baby, and I have never made a baby from dtd on ov day. I feel something like grief, is most odd. oh well, I know there are positives to being out (work, can lose a bit more weight etc) but really am not feeling it right now.

Am sorry to hear about your little spot (as in, t was a little spot, not being dismissive!) Am sure is absolutely nothing to be worried about chuck... know where you are coming from though. Nearly half of all pgs have some spotting in early pg you know. Are you otherwise feeling ok? Here if you need to talk x

Aww wilde, I know what you mean about the feelings of grief. I cried in my car on the way home from work when AF showed up. Could he not be convinced that the conception wouldn't actually happen today anyway? It would be another couple of days before everything meets? Or how about tomorrow morning? Or just after midnight?
I'm trying hard to not dwell on things but it is impossible. I have hardly any symptoms at all really. Boobs feel completely normal which is worrying me most. Last time they kept me awake at night with the pain. My back pain has gone too. DH was lovely and called the docs for me to try to change my appointment but my lovely doc still isn't available. They told him the blunt one is the next best person and is lovely. Maybe she was having an off day when I saw her.
Hope the weather cheers up for you today.

Hi girls
just a quickie from me - posting from work. When I put my temps in this morning FF all changed again and told me AF was due today. So, I POAS - negative, then AF arrived shortly after (why does that often happen!?).
So I'm out this month. A bit fed up, specially after I had a moan to DH and he said I 'was sounding a bit spoilt'. Referring to our 2DCs I think. I was sooo p'd off. He did apologise, but he is from the 'relax and it will happen' school of ttc whereas I am trying to take charge... I understand that relaxing is good but he's so blimmin relaxed I told him we probably wouldn't even dtd all month. And that's hardly a ttc plan! Arrgh.
Anyway, shiny new cycle here - rather forced

hee really hope spotting has cleared up. I spotted on my first preg, but not second. Each pg is different, so don't assume that it's bad news. Good luck - fingers crossed for you!

wild Really sorry to hear that the dtd sounds unlikely this month. I really hope you can persuade DH but if not I totally utterly sympathise. These boys just don't get it I think - I know my DH (despite really wanting another DC) seems to think it will 'just happen'. Hmm, not quite. I guess we have been lulled into a false sense of security as with both DDs it happened straight away. How lucky were we? - I see that now! Anyway, I really hope you can persuade him - good luck!

I'd better head off as am at work and really don't want anyone reading this over my shoulder!! x

oh boo am sorry! we can be fed up together :) But at least it is Friday, we can have ...

I am completely with you re: DHs... and, selfishly, almost a bit relieved you have the same problems. My DH is 'relax and let it happen' too, which I think is all well and good if you are dtd all the time. He is definitely wanting just to dtd for fun and frolicks, and then make a baby out of it but he doesn't actually want to dtd much atm because of fucking work :(. Honestly, if I could just get on with getting myself pg I would be so much happier than having to rely on DH [control freak emoticon]

I will lay my cards out later I think, am so glum and fed up I can't really pretend otherwise, and say lets dtd tonight and tomorrow and I will be so much happier and we can have some drinks etc. If he says no then I will have to be honest and say how much this is all affecting me and hopefully he will start to understand that I can't relax until I am pg again, and for that he needs to DO something! At the RIGHT time! A LOT!

arf. anyway. onwards and upwards, boo, onward and upwards x

How are you doing hee, I hope there has been no repeat spotting, as boo said every pregnancy is different so try not to think about previous experience and just think 'i am pregnant' (easier said than done I know).

Wilde I feel your pain re DH not feeling the love on the right days, mine is often tired or overworked at the wrong time, and you can't just demand to be serviced (well you can but that didnt make for a fun night at chez chuckle) I hope you manage to dtd. Its horrible feeling like you've missed a chance :(

Sorry about AF boo, at least you can have Friday night .

Were off to a wedding tomorrow and its in a field. A field. Have these people not seen the weather forecast?? And its my turn to drive :(

Brain dump all you like Wild, it is the benefit of MN. How's your DH feeling this morning, did he get a good night's sleep? Can you both have a restful day today? Just because you've never become pg on ov day before doesn't mean you can't - this is a woman's reproductive organs you're talking about!

Hee, I want to say DO NOT GO TO THAT HORRID GP! But of course you must make your own decisions. Any more spotting? How are you doing?

Sorry Boo, AF plays tricks doesn't she, keeps us on our toes. Here's to your shiny new cycle, even if it's a bit forced at the moment. How are you feeling about OH this morning?

Chuckle, a field??? Oh dear! What will you wear to compensate?!

And the weather was soooo sunny and hot on holiday, and that was nice, but a bit opressive and to be honest we wanted a little but of this English summer to cool us off! Having said that, it is shit weather.

I'm CD 8 or 9, the nice thing about going away was it hastened the early waiting phase. Since my initial AF binge over a week ago I have also had only 4 glasses of wine, 5 cigarettes, and lots of sleep, so am hoping I'm nearer to getting the last bits of MC depression behind me. I've decided not to stress OH out this month by starting ttc on CD 10, we'll wait until CD 12 and carry on until a day ofter a pos ov stick. But I'm not hopeful, I have to have a minor op on my cervix week after next and that will stress me out enough for my body to want to reject any nesting eggling. We probably should take amonth out, but I dreamed about lots of wonderful sex last night, which is the first sign I get of upcoming ov. Not trying would depress the hell out of me. right, I'm actually supposed to be working today, have been up since 7 and have not managed to start yet!

aw chuckle triple whammy of field, rain and sobriety. Stuff yourself silly with lovely posh nosh to compensate. Bloody love a wedding I do.

oooh one i am impressed by your new clean living :) an op on your cervix though? hope it is only a little thing?

I know what you mean about not trying depressing the hell out of you, I am just the same. I wasn't going to try next month as if it was successful i would only be 6 weeks odd on our holiday and don't want to mental my way round southern italy... BUT of course i will try! I have to try every month, I am addicted! I need my 2ww and the fretting and the dreaming!

I talked to DH over a glass bottle of wine and then some last night and told him about my sad day and none of it surprised him but I think it did make him realise I REALLY wanted to be pg. Though he said he did too and this month was just really stressful and he apologised muchly. Anyway, wine and thinking it was all over obviously chilled us out because we dtd . And I still have fertile signs today so maybe we aren't out this month yet! well, I know I didn't ov yesterday so am definitely in the running though a 10% chance doesn't fill me with excitement. Will do my opk in a bit and see if is pos or not

am really quite hungover today. I was just loving my booze last night which is really unusual for me, with DS asleep upstairs! and I haven't shredded for two whole days! eek!

get shagging one. I know I am going to ov when I start fancying everyone! hehe.

How funny, trying, poasing, getting stressed, getting AF, getting hopeful, becoming delusional, and thinking about it all every freakin minute of the day is an addiction I suppose! And yes, first time I round I'd never paid attention to my cycle so I started down the road of obsessional hyper awareness and realised that the sexy dreams start, followed by having to stop myself from coming on to random men, then cm appears and then I ov. How lovely and straightforward.

Glad you guys talked it over last night, that must feel so much better to get that confirmation from him that he really wants it to. Is the work pressure one that is isolated and won't be an ongoing problem?

And unfortunately I have to have some abnormal cells on my woohoo, apparently very common, but it involves some actual removal of a few layers of woohoo, while I'm awake, akimbo, and medical appointments floor me at the best of times, and I will be pmt so an anxious wreck and crying. I'm dreading it. Just lucky I went, I have frequently ignored those smear letters.

one two of my best friends have been through all that. Am very grateful to smears for noticing and possibly saving their lives... shitty procedures though, I feel for you.

YES I feel much better. And no, work and life stress will always be in the way but we noted that last night and decided that there really is no good time to make (or have) a baby but we just have to try! I got a definite pos opk this morning :) Am delighted! So we dtd last night, and I have sent a very tired DH to bed for an hour or two to get some kip so we can dtd tonight because I am a very nice person. Very cunning mwahahaha

Tell me they found their appointments a breeze, I swear, I'm thinking about getting horribly drunk the night before so I can lay there thinking that the procedure is the least of my worries! My family are split down the middle on this, on the one side they are tough as nails and can remove their own teeth and ingrown toe nails and perform other minor operations! The other side are a bunch of ninnies, cry at the sight of a needle... and that's me unfortunately. (But the whole life saving part of it is quite good)

It's good to hear you and DH have come together on this one quite quickly and that your pos opk made you smile! Fingers and toes crossed for your 2ww!!!

I don't think they had any problems or issues with the appts one. unpleasant but not terrible or painful IIRC.

yep am well chuffed I should be in with a proper chance this month now, after reconciling myself to no chance at all yesterday! Is going to be an odd 2ww as I can't symptom spot, knowing as I do that I get evey symptom going just by virtue of having ovulated . Am very busy this next two weeks too, hurrah (tho will test at 10dpo).

want pizza!

Hi wild your post made me feel better yesterday too - it is good to know that I'm not the only one in this situation - and tbh I think probably a lot of men are like this. My DH is super busy with work and I have to say I do think it is getting in the way of ttc because he is often tired, or stressed and then that has an impact on me. Sometimes I am stressed at having to raise swi, so it's not a good starting point! Must try to relax....

I am so glad that laying your cards out had a positive effect! Good idea sending DH to bed for a bit . Fingers crossed for you this month!
I told DH I need him to initiate swi more and maybe drink less. He was ok about the former, not about the latter... but hopefully I have sowed a seed in his mind. (I think he does drink too much - largely because of stressful job). YES! Onwards and upwards.

chuckle hahaha at fun night chez chuckle! Yep, know where you're coming from!
Christ - hope you are ok in the field...?!

Thanks for sympathy one I'm feeling ok - knackered after going out for a drink last night (a vv rare occurrence (and vv nice) as DH rarely home to babysit). DH did apologise for his comments, and I suppose I probably did sound a bit whiney and selfish about ttc - but it is a kind of selfish business isn't it? I do know I'm dead lucky to have DCs already, so I suppose I do think I'm a bit greedy to want more.
I can see why you might be anxious about ttc this month. I hope your op goes ok, maybe if you just relax it all this month then it might just happen anyway? Have you been advised whether ttc is a bad idea around the op? Sounds uncomfortable to say the least - but it will be good to get it done. Hope it goes ok.

Apart from AF pains and feeling slightly hungover today, I am also having realised that my next ov dates coincide with DH away for 2 nights. Pah! I have offered to come and visit him, but he is not comfortable with that as it's a work thing. Anyway, given that this month ov occurred earlier than expected, I guess I will just have to get on with dtd before and after, and hope for the best. Seriously considering swi oed this month, but not sure if we'll have the stamina... more RAIN here .

Well you'll be pleaded to.know the chuckle family survived the rainy field ( thanks to some wellies with our wedding attire!!) and had lovely day catching up with our friends, only downer was the two pregnant women we were sat with :( :( :(

Sorry to hear about your procedure one, I am due a smear , my letter came first time pg so couldn't, then got pg again, then went and they wouldn't do it as they said it was too soon after mc and haven't been back yet :( I hope it is as comfortable and quick as possible and I will deco book my smear next chance I get.

I poas on Thursday (7dpo) (I know, I know...) and when I ripped the test apart (I know...) I swear there was a line (almost invisible, but there, I'm sure), but all 4 repeat tests including this morning at 10 dpo have been stark white bfn so i assume I've had my first evap line :( :(

Glad you had chat with dh wilde, hope you've had lots of early nights this weekend.

boo, im pretty sure my next ov will coincide with a dh weekend away with the lads :( :(

Oh well, I wanted a summer baby anyway

I agree Boo, a lot of men must be in this situation. My OH last month had a massive work thing going on. As for us we're not terribly fussed at having to dtd on a schedule, tbh it ensures we dtd at all, it's more the stress that causes trouble. What really helped my OH last month was telling him that I'd learned from MN that men really struggle to dtd on demand and women really sympathise with that. Stress is one thing, work taking him out of the game entirely is much tougher, fx you and Chuckle ov off schedule this month!!!

With my last appt, where they took a biopsy, they said it was ok to be pg but that I had to abstain from sex for a couple of days after the appointment, it was right at the time of ov and I was feeling obstinant and decided we would ttc anyway. Luckily my body obliged by postponing ov. This month I'm due to ov this week and the appointment isn't until next week, I figure it's unlikely to happen this month what with all the hoo ha going on down there, and the ttc'ing and count downs keep my head above water, so we will forge ahead in the knowledge that the odds are less in our favour this month.

Hope you got your celebratory pizza Wild?!

Chuckle, glad you had a nice time, sorry about the pg ladies. And being a keen supporter of unlimited poasing I totally understand your doing it, but how hard to have a hint of something taken away. (you kept that quiet)

chuckle and boo two nights away doesn't necessarily need to affect much as long as you dtd for a couple of nights before they go away? The spermies live for three to five days... Definitely doesn't rule the month out anyways. What I do empathise with hugely is the added pressure that knowing the OH is going away presents :( RE having to talk about SWI - boo I so know what you mean about feeling tense about bringing it up. I asked DH what I could do to help him as I didn't want to worry him/stress him out but didn't want to miss a month for lack of communication... but all he said was jump my bones! Easier said than done when all he might do when he comes in from work is complain about how tired and stressed he is!

ug pg ladies chuckle. we only like them if they are our MN brethren!

go one am glad the op won't affect owt.

we are shagging away :) DTD last two nights and will again tonight and have all the signs I have ov'ed today. DH having a grand time it seems So am definitely in the running this month but for some reason am kind of about it. Am very busy not till test day so that is brilliant. And I have no sticks in to piss on. They stress me out and make me itch to test but am sure I'll get some in soon.

I think I still think I am out for this month because of my panic on Friday that it was all over. I had to really talk myself into being excited about next month and everything positive about NOT making a baby this month, when usually it is the be-all-and-end-all. Am going to carry on shredding and drinking (though not to excess and only one night a week) and enjoying being me and hopefully a BFP will just creep up on me...

anyway. essay. am off to check on DS apparently 'napping' upstairs but actually, er, not.

one I got a pizza. an asda fancy schmancy one (not saying much...) and it was shit! dry and tasteless! Am making fish pie for dins; really, the weather is so bad am now making winter comfort food.

Hi all
wild yes, good plan - I am going to try and not be stressed about it so that a BFP will creep up on me. I know i can't plan this to the n'th degree, so I might as well just relax and see what happens. Also next month we should be on holiday around ovulation so if we miss this month, next could be a goodun. Like chuckle says, I wanted a summer baby too... (not).
I think maybe I need to find some relaxation techniques...

Anyway, glad the wedding was ok chuckle, bad luck for the proximity of preggies...! Sorry you've the same prob as me this month, but as wild says, it might work out anyway. I'm going to pretend to myself that I'm out, then that BFP will just happen! Oh God I really am going nuts. Anyway, you're not out for this month yet are you!?

one yes I might tell DH that a lot of men struggle with dtd on demand - might make him feel better. In some ways it's been great to have an excuse to dtd more often, but when I thought about it, I realised I was the only one to initiate it, and after a while that gets a little tiresome. I know he likes it, its just easier to leave the organising of everything in his whole life apart from his job to me.

How disappointing about your pizza wilde, but good news about all the snagging!! And you're right, I love our pg comrades, its just rl pg women that upset me( who got pg at drop of a hat and casually say 'dont you want another one then' or worse, from pg woman number 2s dh, 'come on chuckle, isn't it about time you spat another one out') (all friendly and in good humour but its hard work grinning your way through it).

I'll join you in.pretending next month is written off boo and we can be all when we get bfp!! Technically not out for this month as af not due till Fri, just very demoralised by the bfn this morning (and feel v v v that I tested 7dpo)

Must learn to chill out...

10dpo is early, but 7dpo is utterly pointless and yes, even though you KNOW this it will still, indeed, make you mardy :) stay. away.

Well, another BFN at 11dpo this morning. So not only do I appear to not be pregnant but I am apparently an excessivley spotty, gassy insomniac of a hypochondriac. My DH is a lucky, lucky man!

Enjoy your 2ww wilde, or not. Like, bothered

11 dpo could be too early chuckle. You don't know. But I do feel for you chuck, because even though everyone said that at my BFN at 10dpo last month, I knew.

but you don't know, yet

and so begins my 2ww. Have foregone a second coffee to Be Good but am on the bourbon biscuits already as a) am on the 2ww and can't be arsed to try and lose weight when obviously I am nurturing new life; and b) have loads of work to do. Loads. DS doesn't normally go to the childminder on a monday but he is in today, for I must work (and mumsnet) (and eat biscuits in peace)

Urgh, this weather! I was aided in my walk home by gale force winds, had a few comic moments as I stupidly wore something floaty/summery to work because, you know, I'm al labout living in reality. I have put the heating on and poured a nice glss fo wine and am checking in on here.

Mmm, fish pie Wild! Do you make that from scratch? I want to learn how to cook and have armed myself with some new cook books but haven't yet done anything more!

I would like to join you all in the "I'm out for next month" malarky but will poas just because I'm addicted to sticks, but yes, ahem, am totally whatever about the whole thing!

Ha ha! Chuckle re you being a gassy, spotty hypochondriac, we are a bunch of uber cool and fertile women! (It's not over. Keep on updating us.)

And yay Wild for a new 2ww for us all to engage in!

(oops, I'm sure I had a glass full???)

oooh wine one. your walk story made me chuckle!

yep I cooked the fish pie from scratch. do you not like cooking? I like cooking and was pleased to have the space to cook a more adventurous meal. with DS it is usually pasta or something because he will just not appreciate my need to be constantly attending my roux!

arf I am getting a chinese takeaway for dins! AND I ate all the bourbons earlier I did do my shredding but really... But I did work hard and I always say that if I work I am allowed to eat whatever I want. hehe.

God I love fish pie but DH wont let me have fish in the house so never get to eat it. I just had a fish finger butty for lunch though so he will no doubt whine about the smell when he gets home.

Did you manage to dress a little more appropriatley this morning one? My heating is about to go on again, DH would have a fit if he knew tight arse that he is.

I POthelastS this morning and BFN again so am officially giving up hope for this month and trying to plan ways to get knocked up in August despite the boozy weekend DH has planned around OV time (am looking at it as a challenge rather than an obstacle). Not that I'm bothered you understand. I mean, who cares, theres always September / October etc.

Good job I have your 2ww to keep an eye on wilde

arf chuckle am sorry for your BFN :( Bring on AF then.

If you really want a good show chuckle I have inadvertently got into a fight on a thread about ttc myths. there is a particular poster I have seen on ttc threads and her dogmatic attitude has bugged me and now I seem to have let loose .

I have just shredded. And you know why?! BECAUSE I GOT A WATERY MOUTH. yes, big letters, let's get right out there with the shame.

2dpo and i am fucking symptom spotting. Every time I do this this month I have to exercise/do chores. hehe! but I got a watery mouth from day one with pg number 2 NO NO NO!

slaps please

watery again. Oh god, please, not starting at 2dpo this month! It was bad enough when the pmt started at 4dpo last month!