After m/c - the wine and shagging thread: no 2!

[wilderumpus]

Hello ladies!

So we have had our mc's... and are moving on and thinking about making new babies :) Hurray, hurray!

chuckle that made me laugh - feeling your arse getting bigger....I think I know what you mean though!

ice does your sil know that you are pg? I assume so, which makes it easier as at least you don't have to break your news to her. I think if I were you I would be matter of fact about it - after all, your journey has not been straightforward either and hopefully she will be able to see you as inspiration a few weeks hence. I would just tell her that if she wants to talk about the MC then you are there to talk, but equally you don't mind if she wants to steer clear of you because you couldn't bear talking to pg people when you were pg. You could even email her or text if you don't want to make an approach on the phone - that way she has time to think about it. Sorry I've just realised you are going away. You could email her with a message about how you felt which might be reassuring to her, tell her you will be away but back x and free to talk whenever she'd like. Could you send her some flowers or chocolates or something? I am not sure if that would be appropriate but I guess anything you might have been cheered by might help? Very sorry to hear that news though, it's just awful isn't it?

Kids in bed here - think I might join them soon (though NOT in the same bed, obv!)

Hi ladies thanks for the replies. I called and tried to change the appointment but my gp didn't have a free appointment until August so I think I'm stuck with it. At least it is just a form filling appointment. I will just have to stay calm and get it done as quickly as possible.

boo all this talk of cakes and shortbread is making me hungry :) I wanted to do some baking at the weekend as I love all forms of cooking but didn't get around to it. I want to try to recreate a toffee cake that I ate in the lake district that was gorgeous. I'm going to end up huge soon!

kate yes I remember. Some doctors don't take feelings into consideration at all :( I'm sorry to hear about your SIL. I hope she has a sympathetic doctor to help her. I'm sure it will help her lots to talk to you too - my cousin who had been through it really helped me and the fact that she recently had her little boy helped me as I saw you can have a happy ending.

wilde that is lovely to hear about your Friday nights. I was wondering how DH and I will get time like that in the future but I hadn't thought about after baby goes to bed. Can you tell I'm new to this? :)

chuckle I will hopefully do that :) which 30 minute meal did you do? I love that book and don't think I've had a bad one yet.

Morning ladies! Hope u all had a nice weekend!

Hee what a cow! Some people have no idea do they! I'm forever hearing stories of crappy insensitive doctors and it never ceases to amaze me. I'm
Pretty lucky with my normal doctor but there is one who I get occasionally who is about as helpful as a piece of poo!

Ice I'm so so sorry to read about your sil, I had my mc 2 months after I found out my bf was pg and we would have been a month apart. I didn't tell her because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable around me but I think knowing she was pg helped me a bit cause although I was sad about my mc I was so happy for her it took my mind off it. I was even planning her baby shower! I hope she's doing ok and has lots of support.

So as for me, my busy weekend was fab although sober. My boobs got more and more sore throughout the weekend and was almost falling asleep watching rhianna! Finally got home last night (urgh so much washingincluding the muddiest of wellies) poas this morning and I can confirm it was a much darker positive so im pretty convinced it's a new pregnancy got my docs appt later and he's a pretty cool doctor so hoping he will send me to get my levels measured and set my mind at rest.

New problem tho I'm so paranoid! Dh is insisting on lots of rest which is not so easy with a 22 month old keeping me on my toes! Any twinge is sending me into full panic mode

hee we had mustard chicken. Having the piri piri chicken tonight and then normal (chicken nuggets and chips) service to be resumed on Wednesday!

Woo Hoo snickers - a nice dark BFP with sore boobies!!! Rest as much as you can, and try not to panic. The odds are in your favour for a happy, healthy little baby!!

Not really relevant but my worst GP story is that last time I had a smear the doc put the clampy thing in place and was just about to do the smeary bit when the phone rang so she friggin answered it I had to lie on the bed clamped open for 5 mins while she chatted to the woman on reception about something. I have never trusted any of them since then!!

oh lovely, congrats to you snickers! yarse, I believe being uber paranoid is par for the course now :( Will you have an early scan to put your mind at rest?

chuckle you must be JOKING. That is bloody awful! crikey. Whenever I have a smear the nurses are always really oversolicitous and I am just like whatever, lets get it done.

I like the 30 min meals too :)

I posted on t'other thread about your SIL ice and echo chuckle re: emailing and saying you are totally there if she needs to talk and that she can avoid you if she wants for a while.

I was thinking of avoiding my heavily pg friend yesterday but saw her in the end and was really good to see her. And I even felt her tum because the baby was being weird apparently. I forgot how hard pg bellies are! And I have offered to look after her DC when she is in labour, and he is a terror. Eek.

Just came back from counselling. man that is sooooo tough. I feel completely weird like I just told a random person at the bus stop all my innermost feelings and sadnesses and (perceived/actual) failings and then walked off. It is rather brutal because actually being referred does not mean you will get it, you actually have another assessment at your first meeting where they decide if they can help you or not. Which is not that good for someone like me who is utterly compelled to 'pass' everything! If I was rejected I would be heartbroken and feel a right failure! how crackers am I. Anyway, I did pass although she said they won't be able to sort out all my shit in the 12 sessions the NHS offers so will just focus on trying to get my relationship with my family back on an even keel. arf. feel really gross and embarrassed and blue.

having panic attacks again too. Feck.

Oh and didn't dtd last night! Dh is mega busy with a deadline for Fri so did wonder but he says he will probably be available tonight. I started the sex week a bit early (sex 10-days?!) in anticipation of a slow start! twill be dandy.

sorry, bit me,me,me.

Thanks ladies trying not to get too excited but secretly I'm screaming lol
If this pg is like the one with ds I'll probably end up having an early scan had so much unexplained bleeding so must have had over 10 scans! The only niggle this time is because of mc I might be over panicking when/if I see any blood!

Chuckle that is awful! I'm like you Wilde im not fussed I've had worse! I've only ever had one smear anyway as fell pg at 25 when it was due so had to wait till after ds was born, Suppose I would feel a bit weird of she was chatting away tho lol xx

Thanks girls. I've spoken with her today - she called me to chat things through as to what might happen next and should they wait ttc again. I gave her all the advice I've had and read about on here!!

She said that her mc has really brought home to her just how early we women start to bond with our babies, even though they may not be more that a small blob of cells. She is right. I remember feeling devastated when mc and the clots falling out - wondering which might be 'it'. That's what she is currently feeling, poor lass. I was able to tell her that it gets better with time, and she will be able to talk about it. And that she will be pg again at some point.

snickers - here's hoping that it is a nice shiny new bfp. V exciting.

wilde - glad you went to your counselling. And fx for dh getting on with the sexy week. I'm hoping that you'll be well into your 2ww when I get back.

hee hope that bean stays nice and sticky.... and that you can get an appointment with your sensible dr.

chuckle and boo good luck with the remainder of your 2ww respectively. Will be sending good vibes across the Med.

Anyhows, I am panic packing. Just nipped out to chemist to buy calamine, piritese etc as discovered that 5 of the kids DS2 sits next to at school have gone down with the pox in the last 2 weeks.... great timing. That'll push up the weight of our cases! Have also packed Fifty Shades of Grey... dh might benefit from my reading that over our holiday . Away in the heat and sunshine for ten days or so, and will be thinking of you all (bizarre, isn't it, but I really enjoy catching up on everyone's news and checking you are all ok).

See you when I get back.

have a lovely time ice! so envious :)

and I am really glad you were able to help your SIL. I am sure you would have been a great comfort.

Have a lovely time ice! I am so jealous - so sick of the rain. Hope you get lots of sunshine!

Wow snickers congrats on the BFP! Really hope it all goes smoothly. As every pregnancy is different, I don't think you can assume you will bleed this time like last time, but I guess it depends. Anyway, good luck!

hee toffee cake... hmmm. My mum makes a fab one, luckily she is on holiday as I so don't need it right now! (chewing last slice of shortbread as I type, gulp).

wild well done with your pg friend, but sorry to hear panic attacks are back. Was that after or before the counselling? Could it be that things are a bit stirred up by talking a lot and need to calm down? I really hope the counselling helped - well done for doing it, be nice to yourself - hard things deserve a pat on the back (if not a nice glass of vino / piece of shortbread? )

chuckle that story had me crossing me legs!

No news here, still analysing every 2ww twinge. On the down side - got a puncture on the way home, on the up side - managed to both avoid the rain and get a cabbie to take me and the bike home. Result! Day off tomorrow with both DH and the girls. Planning something fun... rain permitting.

Hi girls
Just coming on to moan actually. Got a very low temp this am and looking at my chart it does rather seem as though it's generally going down - which is not good news. I'm 9dpo, so AF not due just yet, but can't help feeling this is not a good sign. I feel that ff has done nothing but stress me out this month, but am worried if I ditch it I will have even less of a clue with whats going on. Arrrrrgh. Just fed up (and that makes me think I'm pre menstrual too, double Arrgh).
Sorry for the moan - there's always next month eh? I think I should start planning a boozy night out for next week... sigh.

Hope everyone else is ok, I'm having a tidy up day here today - DH has taken kids to park. We will do something fun later...

arf boo I don't think you can judge a chart yet can you? i mean, I think it goes down just before your AF, like a day or two before and you aren't due on quite that soon are you? whispers Also whispers

Actually boo I heart FF, but only use it for my opks and cm and cervix checking, not temps.

I am a bit woeful as DH admitted last night that until Sat he just cannot contemplate dtd as work is so demanding. he has a HUGE annual presentation to give to board type peeps and investers and stuff to prove what his dept have actually been up to. I am being very understanding although I do feel slightly fretful as I should ov on Tues but have ewcm already. But then I know my next baby will come when they are ready and under happy chillled out circs, not by raping DH while he cries about a presentation he has to be preparing for Anyway should have sat, sun, mon and tues - that should be ok, yes? please say yes.

Uni have given me until Jan to sort out my PhD! omg! is amazing news, lots of lovely time. however I do want to get pg and move house so do need to finish before then, but still. pressure is off and this is what I wanted. no more panic attacks for meeeeeeeee. (panic attack was before counselling boo - actually had completely forgotton about appt until I had panic attack feelings, thought i should see dr again and remembered I had a counselling appt that very day... in half an hour!)

I shredded this morning on LEVEL THREE one and am just so tired! So I am eating peanut m and ms to celebrate uni news. nom. am getting trimmer all the time but sadly not losing any fecking weight. bastard m and ms

toffee cake hee? Oh my. wantit.

Sorry to hear about the panic attack wilde, and glad you have decieded to go ahead with the seeing the counsellor. I'm glad you passed the test (I think, or is it better to not pass that?! I don't know, I hope it helps anyway!!) Sat/Sun/Mon is perfect timing for Tuesday OV, fingers crossed for you!!

Boo, sorry to hear you feel 'out of it' now,I have no idea about temping as I have never tried I hope wildes whisperings come true for you!! I am feeling a bit out of it this month but at 6dpo there is no reason why I would know one way or the other, its just the pessimist in me!!! There is no way I will be able to wait a full 2 weeks to POAS, I just havent got the will power. I have promised myself I will wait till 10dpo though as my fave website (one that shows % of HPT that show +/- for every dpo from 1 - 20 for pregnant women) has 10dpo as the point where there is a greater than 50% chance of getting +ve if you are pg.

Have ace hols ice ( I assume you are there now though and unable to read my well wishes!)

DH cooked tonight (woo hoo), sadly that means I'm off to wash up

thanks chuckle

fingers crossed for you and boo! I test on 10dpo too, and will this month (if we actually ever dtd!) as telling myself to wait is too stressful! I got a vanishingly faint pos with my last pg and would have with DS too, so will go for that :)

hope everyone is well. how you doing hee? and hope, if you still lurk at all cake that you are really well and blooming!

Hello ladies, hope you are all having a good day. I've been wavering between extremely happy and terrified and panicky as I expected. Time is going very slowly and I just want my docs appointment so that I'm in the system. I feel fine mostly, a bit sick in the afternoons and constant weeing in the night.
chuckle at your smear test experience! I'm not sure what I would do if it happened to me!
wilde sorry to hear about your panic attacks. I hope you will have something lovely to take your mind things soon. Also hope the counselling helps. I'm sure all the weekend dtd will be more than enough too.
snickers Yay for the BFP! Have you been to the docs yet?
boo I agree with wilde, sounds like an implantation dip to me :)
Well I've been pretty good about my diet, but have been having a sneaky cup of coffee in the mornings. Is this that bad? My office has decaf which I have tried but it is disgusting :(

hallo hee Am so glad to hear all is going ok with you :) Sickness and weeing sounds fabulous! (hehe!)

yeah panic attacks rubbish. not proper attacks though, just the dizziness and lack of breath and the need to get home NOW that heralds one. I hate it, especially as I feel I have everything under control at the mo. I don't know what is wrong with me :( However, thank you for your reassurance and actually I think the weekend will be a good tonic (and some ) and some dtd so I can feel I am in the 2ww! exciting!

Well done on eating well, I am dreadful when pg, all white bread and chocolate . Are you getting hungry a lot or are you ok? Coffee is absolutely fine. The stats on coffee are all over the shop anyway, but as a guideline I think one strong filter coffee or two instant coffees are just fine :) and even a bit over that I am sure is fine too!

hello all
thanks for kind reassurance, and wild hee's experience did encourage me... but I am not hopeful - temp this am was even more confusing as I missed the right time (usually 6am though I am very bad at sticking to this). So at 5am it was still low, at 7.30am was much higher. I think I should take the 5am one as right (though I'd rather not). Also - when I look at my chart it is generally going down, so it's not so much a dip as a valley... groan. I also had a bit of spotting today which is even more confusing as AF not due til monday. Maybe this month is just a bit of an odd one. If AF is coming - I'd rather see her sooner than later, then I can get on with next month.

I'm refusing to POAS as it's so demoralising, I'd rather just see AF. I feel a bit crampy, so I reckon she's on her way .

chuckle I'm not sure if I'd recommend temping - in theory it's reassuring to know you've ovulated but I've been so confused by it this month that I'm not sure how reassured I've felt (not at all basically). I find it really hard to wake up at the same time each day, but now I've started I don't think I can stop!

hee i think a bit of coffee is fine. Sounds like you are doing great - symptoms are good! I too am terrible when pg - eat utter crap. IF I ever get pg again, am determined to do it properly this time...

Thanks to you all for being here to read my neurotic musings! I think if I said any of this out loud in the real world I would sound like a total nutter. In fact (confession time) I did tell DH about the temps, partly because he thought my breath smelt metallic and that I was pg and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy. Mind you, I think he knows this already. I partly told him to get him used to thinking that its unlikely this month, as I know he wants to get on with getting pg too. And for those that think the metallic breath thing sounded hopeful - he was absolutely hammered at the time, and it was about 4 days ago, so very very unreliable as an observation!!

Bit fed up (apart from the ttc anxiety) because DH was supposed to be on leave yesterday and today, but has had to go into the office. And he's working all weekend. Which leaves me with the 2 DCs and work to sort out. Oh, and he's off tomorrow, the one day when I am at work and the DCs are in childcare. Arrrgh!

Hope everyone else is ok & thanks again ttc/pg buddies!

Hello everyone! What a lot to catch up on here...

Chuckle, I am also a pear, it's dreadful, if I ry to lose weight I lose my boobs!. I laughed at your knee pain a well known early sign of pg, and at your awful smear experience. At my last one they decided out loud to use the small speculum and I agreed that would be good and then they got in there and decided that on second thought the medium one was needed .

Hee, honestly, I am so outraged on your behalf. Have you thought about complaining about that GP?

Yay Wild for ttc'ing and for your extension. How are you now post counselling appointment?

Ice, just wanted to add my condolences for your poor sil (hope you're having a fantastic holidays!).

Snickers, lovely strong BFP yay! And your OH sounds lovely!

Boo, I'm keeping my eye out for any updates. Wild's knoweldge in the area is unsurpassed!

There was a lot of discussion also about whether or not to poas. I can't help it, but I also don't get floored by a neg so poas'ing works fine enough for me and the neg's can keep me from geting my hopes up... which was good because I had a long wait for her but AF joined us on holiday. She wasn't terrible company (ok, I got hugely drunk that night, but...). Shiny new month here!

Welcome back one - did you have a good time (despite AF rearing her ugly head?) Heres to a nice new cycle (I lose my boobs just reading a diet book, its heart breaking)

boo could the spotting be implantation bleeding?! Sounds like there are lots of little signs (metally mouth, temps unusual, spotting, cramps....) Fingers and toes crossed!!

Battery about to go on laptop so off for a glass of vino and maybe some ice cream seeing as its almost the weekend!

chuckle I wish! I guess it's not over until AF comes, but I can't find any evidence that temps going down is a good sign... had a glass of vino myself tonight to relax... enjoy yours!!

one glad you had a good holiday and are on a shiny new cycle!

hola ladies!

does sound like there are reasons to be hopeful boo but you should see a rise before AF is due I think? I don't know though and don't know how long an implantation dip lasts for, or how lax you can be with temp times. is way too confuddling for me.

one glad you had a good hols. what was the weather like? Sorry about AF :( I am similar to you re: poas, I do it early so I don't get my hopes up, am far to hopeful every month and to wait until AF shows is just impossible! I would be completely gutted. Am ok post counselling but quite down and anxious and not sleeping. oh yay.

I am in a shitty mood today! is raining AGAIN, and I feel veer stressy for no good reason. Well, I think it is early pmt (pre ov!) and also worry that I am going to ov early - all the signs are v strong and i don't see how i will stay this, ahem, fertile until tuesday! And we haven't dtd :( Am so very sad and frustrated! Poor DH. I am cross with him but he doesn't know it and I daren't say because I know it will all tumble out and I will sound quite frightening and that, of course, will not help! Being frightened of your wife's mad longing for a baybee isn't a traditional turn on is it?! Soooo am keeping a lid on it. I know DH will want booze tonight after his hideous week... and won't dtd on fri 13th :(... And tomorrow I know he will be hungover and tired from not sleeping all week... and then it is sun and I reck I will ov sun/mon. and it is too bloody late.

god ttc is stressful!

anyway. my toddler has his duvet on the settee to make a 'treetop nest' and the kitten is snuggled in with him. I should be so grateful for what I have instead of wanting more.

off to poas and desperatly hope for neg opk so have more (any) time to dtd!

ps sorry for my brain dump :( it is most odd I know but I can't talk to anyone in RL about these feelings or they too would be frightened! I know (hopefully) you understand and thank you for listening x

yep am ov'ing early :( Will most prob ov tomorrow or Sun. has anyone cried over a damned-near/positive opk before?!

fucktits fucktits.

:( :( :(

Hi everyone. Bit of freaking out here at tiny spot of blood last night :( Hoping it stays away today.
boo My DH knew all about my temping while I was doing it and was quite interested. I couldn't have hid it anyway as my thermometer beeps when it has the temp and he always heard it. Sounds like things are busy for you at the moment, I hope you get some time to relax at the weekend (and AF stays away).
one Sorry to hear about AF's arrival. I hope you had a great holiday anyway.
wilde Lots of crappy rain here too. I bought deckchairs for sitting in the garden a couple of months ago and have only used them once! Where is it coming from?! Fingers crossed for a neg OPK today and lots of dtd at the weekend. I did get a bit stressy with my DH last month about dtd He understoof fortunately but it did make me feel bad. Your DS sounds lovely :)
chuckle Jealous of your and ice cream!

Oh sorry to hear that wilde. Still, not too late for the weekend, not at all. Is tonight definitely not possible?