After m/c - the wine and shagging thread: no 2!

[wilderumpus]

Hello ladies!

So we have had our mc's... and are moving on and thinking about making new babies :) Hurray, hurray!

lovely news indeed chuckle!

Wilde - I went for 2 early scans in the end for peace of mind. Well worth it - particularly from DH's point of view as it went some way to stopping the worry? Go for it - perhaps when you are back from holiday and around 7wks? Is that about right timing-wise?

thanks for the advice ice. How far along where you with your scans?

I do really want an early scan at 8 weeks but am nervous about having one at a private place rather than the NHS? Did you have private or NHS scans? The thought of coming out of a private office (where they also have a scan screen up the air in front of you so you don't crane your head around. fancy schmancy but UG imagine if it was a mc :( :() with all the excitable newbies in the foyer and having to arrange to see the gp and announce my mc myself to get the ball rolling is hideous. I feel like if I had an NHS scan they would be more sympathetic and able to look after me for some reason.

dunno.

Hi y'all

chuckle - fab news, congrats! How happy you must be!? Hope you are celebrating with whatever tickles your fancy (a mcdonalds??! )

wild maybe if you told the doctor about your MC and your CP, they might be more sympathetic. I think if you can 'prove' that you are going to be stressed (which might impact on baby) then surely they have to let you have an early scan? Also is there no where you can self refer - that's available here. Have the cramps stayed away? I am feeling achy round the middle today, after a very busy morning. Have been cleaning house, bodies and combing hair like a maniac. It's exhausting, so I'm just hoping that the aching is because of that. It's so nerve wracking isn't it? You kind of think - don't get your hopes up, but it's so hard not to and if you think like that you just end up missing out on the fun of being pg (if you can call it fun) and being nervous all the time.

Anyway, hope everyone else is doing well. It's great that everyone seems to be getting positive news right now... we just need a few more bfps and we'll be sorted!

Boo - we are going on a nit hunt tonight. Got to playgroup to discover visitors in DS3's hair so ran away to the chemist! 3 for 2 in Boots at the mo!! Will have to 'do' all 3 kids and now DH has texted to say he thinks what little hair he has left on his head is itching!! Joys of creepy-crawlers. Can't quite believe DS3 got them after 2 mornings at nursery!

Wilde - I had one at 8 and then another at 11. It really helped my paranoia. The place locally to us is small, only one s teeming at a time so no queue of excited expectants. And when I booked I made it clear it was a reassurance scan due to a recent mc. The sonographer was a qualified mw too, so was incredibly kind and said they get LOTS of people like us going. And if it had been bad news I'd have had time and privacy before going up to the EPU ( which I discovered last week they've now relocated to a maternity ward FFS). My EPU won't take self referrals unless you've had over 3 mc, and like yours my Dr wouldn't recommend it coz he's a bit of an arse. When is 8 wks for you? When you're back from Italy? I really would go for it if you possibly can. I remember what Sheldon said after age was forced to go private and all was ok - that it had been worth it. Sorry you're worrying - the mystery has gone, hasn't it? And it stinks, but does get slightly better - promise!

Wow, loads to catch up on!

Lovely to read the happiness in your post Boo!

Sheldonella glad to hear you're feeling better, I'd do a 16 week scan, it would be both reassuring and wonderful!

Likewise Wild, I agree with Ice, whatever you can do to ease your worries and keep you in a nice place emotionally is a good thing to do. Everyone do some scans and come back and say how nice it was - it'll help us all to counterbalance some of the horrors of times past.

Yay Chuckle!!!!!! Wonderful. Wow this thread is all so lovely!!!

As for me, we're now thinking it was a proper bug and not just a culinary misadventure on my part because we're still struggling, keeping things down but no appetite and still quite queasy. OH was a real trooper though, I thought we were getting ready for bed last night but some of his comments didn't make much sense so I finally asked what he was up to and he said he just thought we needed to dtd. He gets extra OH points for that as I was not in any way helpful . Weird to be in the 2ww so soon, I would still be 3 days away form ov'ing in months past. I don't hold out hope but I'm sure I'll be obsessing over knee ache and water mouth soon, who can help that? And I'm still opk'ing though just in case.

Oh, and sorry to hear about all the nits! I firmly remember getting them in my very long hair as a child, and that evil fine tooth comb.....

This months gold medal goes to MrOne then! What a star. Tell him we are all shaking our pom poms for him!! I was going to give you a torch one (as you love them so much) but they have gone. Have a happy face instead :) and heres to the 2ww

Nits! I don't remember ever having them but remember the nit-nurse at school (do you still get those? and the dentist used to come too!) and having the treatments. Never bothered me as a child, as an adult it must be incredibly tedious. Have a ice

oh no one a proper bug?! oh dear :( and you dtd? YAY! Your BFP turn this month!

thanks for your advices! I will definitely have a scan as, like testing, curiousity and my preference for knowledge-is-power will overcome. I will get one the week after Italy so yes, at 8 weeks. Am so happy the early weeks will be on holiday (jammy wench I know although it seems to be a habit on this board to get a BFP then begger off to europe!). Today my symptoms have been just smashing, if a bit intense this morning. boo am so happy you said that; if I walk quickly to DS's childminder or spend a morning doing housework (and I don't dither doing anything much atm) I get twingy and can sort of 'feel' my womb-area . just like you said really, so yay is all normal cause I have been a bit thinking it might be too early for all that! I never had that with the mc-pg.

thanks ice so much for sharing your experience. I have decided I will have a private one if I can't get referred. I will tell them it is a reassurance scan like you said so they are gentle with me, don't just farm me in, say nothing for ages then say baby's gone and ship me out again! It's that silence I dread. The silence, their face as they are searching and not knowing how to tell me... :(

TBH in my heart I do feel that this pg is fine... it's just I can't believe I could be that lucky!

Can't wait for some more BFPs! friends.

Chuckle! I will have to find a way of telling him the mn ladies have congratulated him! And thanks for the injestion of hope Wild. Actually, do you guys ever tell your fellas about mn goings on? I sometimes say if I've got upset over someone's difficulty, or if I come across some bit of info that would help him.

And yes, I was a huge fan of the torch and shall miss it! I held the one that passed through Wales as we passed through a town on a driving holiday - I'm not in any way into sport, at all, not by a long shot, but I really got behind the spirit of the olmpics/paralympics.

"although it seems to be a habit on this board to get a BFP then begger off to europe" (ahem, pg fairy, hey, just reminding you that I'm going to Italy in 3 &1/2 weeks, ahem, just, you know, saying).

Wild your scanplan is great, and I hope you don't spend too much time imagining the worst, better to spend that time imagining the best hug ever.

hollar peeps!

well the dr was a twat! he congratulated me on my pregnancy when he couldn't have possibly already known I was pg - and he was looking at the EDD of the baby I miscarried! the one I was depressed about and signed off for for months! what a moron :( So that set the scene, it upset me and showed his lack of preparation. He then wanted my LMP to date the pg but that would put my dates out by two whole weeks so I fought to have my dates and even then he wanted HIS version of MY dates! Durr. I really want a 12 week scan as 10 weeks and then waiting till 20 weeks is a long time and so much happens between 10 and 12 weeks. There is a reason it is at 12 weeks!

Didn't get a referral for a scan as, apparently, he then that is what the 12 week scan is for. grrrrrr. Couldn't lower myself to beg for his understanding and compassion so just left it at that and will see my lovely dr when am back from hospital.

grrr! I hate being patronised! AND, I had said about the CPs and the mc and my ONE successful pg and asked about what kind of cramping I could expect to be 'normal' and he said that I should know what is normal and what is not having had so many pgs :( What a PRICK.

anyway! Am in the system and that is the main thing!

yay for italy in three weeks one!

don't know if i will have time to chick in again tonight so will just say ciao for now and see you chums in two weeks! I will have no internet for two whole weeks! What on earth will DH and I say to each other of an evening?! Am so looking forward to coming back to your BFPs!

Oh ffs, honestly! . Here's a for you. Why is it that they think this so common place and everyday? For any individual woman this is a massive physical (if nothing else) event. Grrr (walks away ineffectually muttering to self....)

Hope you have a wonderful time!!!!

I agree with one. What a twat. Just proves why men can't be pregnant really.

Anyway, wilde have a fab fab time, and look forward to hearing all about Italy (never been there with kids, all tips welcome).

Cant believe what a knob your GP is - so much for the caring profession. Have a wonderful holiday wilde Enjoy two peoples worth of pizza!!

What a wally of a GP wild. still, forget about it and ENJOY and chill on your holiday, you lucky girl!

And if you haven't already gone - no, they don't have nit nurses now - probably why most schools are overrun with them. Basically, during term time you have to comb their hair one every a week to keep them a bay. But you don't expect to pick it up from your own family on holiday grr grr
ice my sympathies - I've been combing every other night after reading the only way to do it is to do that for 2 weeks solid. It's tedious. Might be easier with short hair though. The nitty gritty comb is the way to go I find.

Hey one hope the holiday shagging method (pre or during) works for you!! Glad your OH was so obliging!! Sorry you're proper ill though.

I have started being anxious about this pg now... it's a nervewracking time, but reassuring to recall that everyone else on the thread has felt like this...

(as of today I feel better thanks Boo) And isn't there a medicine type thing you can apply to the scalp that kills them off or did someone since discover that it was toxic to the kids of my generation???

And sorry to hear about your anxiety. How far are you now? What (aside from a live videon link from your womb) helps?

Glad you feel better one. And yes there is a shampoo you can get to kill the live lice, but it doesn't kill the eggs. So it's a bit pointless really. I think that's part of the problem, people use the shampoo and think it's all done and dusted, but actually the little eggs are hatching and more lice erupting... yuk yuk yuk. I am so fed up with it all.

Anyway, re anxiety - I just keep wondering if my symptoms are there still, as they are pretty subtle. Then I have lower back ache, and I can't recall if that's normal. Mr Google has so many different symptoms on offer that it pretty much includes everything! I know I just have to sit it out and try not to feel stressed, and wait....

I am generally a bit stressed about the parasite issue, and also my DD1 is starting school, so that's stressy too. It's all happening at once chez booboo!

That is a lot going on Boo!!! It's easier said than done to not feel what you're feeling, that's why I asked about what helps. You might need some extra comfort and nice things right now! In addition to all that you have all the hormones running around your system complicating complicated things so I hope you can find some things that ease the way a bit?

thanks one. Also, yesterday I got locked out of the house after I just popped to the car to get the buggy and my eldest came out, slamming the door behind her. Took about an hour to contact DH to bring keys. Then we went swimming in the afternoon and my flip flops got nicked from my locker (left it unlocked whilst we were getting clothes on). Had to go home with no shoes! It's funny really, though I was really p*d off at the time! However - I had a bit of free time this afternoon so am trying to destress and then I have got Monday off work so I can pick up DD1 from school so I will have almost a whole free day then. Thanks for the sympathy though - I am feeling a bit sorry for myself as DH is being a right pain in the arse at the moment too (saying that I am complaining when I should be happy... I am happy... but I've got lots on.) Anyway, rant over. Thanks for listening!!

How are you?

Aw, your post made me smile in an "it's hard and you're coping with it all really well" kind of way! . Can your DH be helped to understand that you are happy but... x. ..y...z? When it rains it pours, that shoe thing would have pissed me off too. I mean who in this day and age takes someone else's shoes ffs? But you're winning, definitely.

And I'm not confident about the spelling of "pours" as went for dinner (yes I am eating again - woo!) after work tonight with a colleague. We shared a bottle of wine, and since I haven't had any for several days it's gone straight to my head. My OH is out so I am going to bathe and go straight to bed! Ooh, get me and my nonparent wild lifestyle!!!

Pours is good. If you look at any word for too long it looks wrong, iykwim.
Yes the lack of shoes was a low point. But hey, things can only get better - and it was raining today so whichever bastard took my shoes could not have worn them, as they were flip flops....!

And I reckon you will be a parent soon enough one and then you will be craving an opportunity for a quiet bath and early bed!! I am still not speaking to DH but I guess we will make it up at some point. Hopefully when he admits his arse like behaviour (if that makes sense). Anyway, off to bed - you're probably already fast asleep!

Just woke from a dream where I had a baby, OH was carrying her and I was pushing the buggy and we got seperated. I was lost so I made my way home and, having the reflective time I realised that in the few days since we brought her home we hadn't yet fed her, I kept trying to get ahold of OH to tell him to feed her but I coulnd't work out the ohone and when I did we just argued (like old days - was a previous DH not current OH). In the end she same home and I was making a big "pan" of formula as if it was weak oatmeal! And when I picked her up she was not only well but had grown so that she was about 3 feet long!!! Dreams are so weird. But when I woke I was so sad that I didn't have a baby to worry about whether or not I'd fed I had to get up. I would have been about 8 months pg and freaking out about birth and how to look after a baby. Instead I am doing laundry and wondering a bit how I'm going to fill the day. sorry for the mememememme post. Sometimes it's good just to get this stuff out and I don't want to go moping to rl people all the time.

And hope your DH has recognised the error of his ways Boo and duly made up with you?! And re the flipflops, I still think that was just such an odd thing to do! And words, I'm dyslexic so often get lost down merry little ways where words lose their meaning!

Dreams can be so distressing one, yours sounds very upsetting. Its do difficult coming up to due dates isn't it. I hope you do something lovely with your day (after your laundry;!). Is your other half aware of the significant timing? Mine is very sweet and caring but forgets stuff like that so doesn't always get why im sad. Have some and a - its too early for wine -and don't feel bad about letting it all out on here, its what we're here for. Pamper yourself today (while you've got the chance, you will have a baby to stress over one day)

Thanks Chuckle, having a bit of a cry is helping. OH is great at remembering the significance of all the passing dates so far, although I've learned that he waits to see if I am affected as he doesn't want to introduce sadness, and the nice part about that is that I can avoid talking about it if I don't want to. It just feels like such a long year of depression/depressing things and I've certainly come a looooong way out of that terrible, awful time but, you know. There was a bit on R4 yesterday about mc and whether it should be recognised more formally as a loss by society more widely, and it made me think. I haven't yet suffered the loss of a close enough loved one for it to feel worse than this.