Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

Cuckoo this might help www.hfea.gov.uk/ivf-embryo-transfer.html

cuckoo that is intriguing re asian women's fertility - asian women are so marvellous in so many ways it wouldn't surprise me. i am not totally sure i believe it am gonna google it. but national variation in age-related infertility sounds entirely plausible.

so you are well progressed on the carbs then. has the magic of it worn off or does it still help you control your weight? i am enjoying saving myself up for the carbs i really like eg today's choccy croissant. but still need my pasta and potatoes or go mad and can't sleep. others i know can go much further.

sorry about your tendon, hope it gets better soon.

Pocket, thanks for that - will read it after I've watched AbFab and made a

Somewhere, I'm not entirely sure how much 'magic' has been wrought having reduced my carbs due to the heinous amount of chocolate I eat; the weight is coming off grindingly slowly - much more slowly than all this exercise should dictate. Neither can I accurately measure any downward spiral of sanity thanks to being in a more-or-less permanent state of dubious mentality (hence the name 'cuckoo'). I am naturally quite mad/highly-strung/anxious/highly alert and so would not notice the effects of certain foods, I am sure. I can only tell you that, without exception, I would happily kill anyone who refused me chocolate.

Pocket, just read your link - very interesting. Two things: why can only two embryos be transferred if the eggs were donated meaning the donor was under 35? Also, I noticed they recommend 'leading a gentle lifestyle' after the FET; does this mean any potential babies of mine are at risk in the two weeks after ovulation when I'm thrashing around at the gym??

Cuckoo, your little anecdote about shagging on the table with back fat slurping made me spit out my tea!!!Such a funny mental image. I love that you are making good use of all furniture. Someone said something about my sexlife - my Dh would put you straight and tell you he's not getting nearly enough. And, we've not done anything remotely interesting in that department for years - it's always in a bed- usually ours. When we tried to shag at his sister's house, whilst the rest of the family were having breakfast in the next room(our door was closed)he just couldn't, ahem, perform...

I too am trying low carb - but I'm into Paleo/Primal eating which doesn't concentrate on low carb, but rather is all about eating the right fats, leaving out grain and sugar. I'm not good at leaving sugar alone. I still eat chocolate too, and if I'm out with friends will have a dessert. But overall, feel so much better than before, and what's spurred me on is reading all about heightened fertility on this diet. I've heard of women reversing menopause by eating a Paleo style diet. I also like it because it is supposed to help sort out "inflammation" issues, which I think I have as I had an increased ANA reading, which means it is likely I'll get an autoimmune disease. But if I can keep my body from being inflamed, I can keep it at bay. Inflammation is also a factor in miscarriage, but that's so complicated, I could never explain it. I read that book, "Is your body baby friendly" by Dr Beer (I think that's his name, can't recall right now) and it said a lot about it.

As for the Asian women, I wonder if it is because their culture doesn't dictate that we should feel completely dried up and barren once we've passed our use-by date at age 35, as is the case in Western culture. My Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner,says that in Chinese traditional medicine they believe a woman is fertile til her 49th birthday, so long as she is healthy. I keep going to acupuncture, feeling it may help. It also leaves me feeling very,very relaxed.

It's time to get ready for work, so must run. Teaching cooking to nasty year eights today, can't wait

Cuckoo I've been told to take it easy at the gym in the run up to and after ivf (no running or x trainer. Or weights. Essentially just walking). Tbh I have done that both times and who knows how much difference it really makes given all those ladies out there getting BFP whilst doing all he things were told not to !?!

Are you ivf? Sorry cant remember!?!

anyone asian on this thread can corroborate?
hopeful that's funny and sweet - he's a good performer usually then (i feel like we're talking about racehorses.
also good news about the paleo! i can take or leave chocolate - i'm unusual like that - but i can't take or leave carbs or i go bonkers. but i am going to persist with my 'carbnudge' diet esp if it makes me more fertile. i do think it does all sorts of great things for the skin and the energy but my brain won't let me do too much of it.
cuckoo i like it - if that's why you can provide us with all this forensic detail on conception then long may it reign. props to your courage as well.
xx

Pocket, I'm not IVF. I had a miscarriage (missed) in March and nothing since so last week we saw a gynae consultant who has agreed to scan me, test DPs sperm and analyse my bloods from days 2 & 21 of my cycle. I think DP will be fine as he already has a child and he got me pregnant this year. Me, on the other hand...who knows? Can someone please tell me what results I am looking for from my day 2 bloods?

Hopeful, interesting what you suggested about our Asian sisterhood. They really do seem to 'just get on with it', don't they? I'll bet they're massively under-represented on these kinds of threads - or even on Mumsnet at all. Their familial support systems are peerless and they probably put alot of faith in the power of Allah. Maybe they have tons of sex, too? Maybe there's a certain duty around marital sex so they're always at it? I'm only surmising and I certainly hope I'm not coming across as racist. I will ask more pertinent and personal questions next time I see Charlie, the Asian taxi driver. He promised to give my DP some kind of food substance they use in cooking in their culture (he woas very reticent when asked to name this mystical stuff - all very cloak and dagger; I could barely keep from chortling in the back seat but DP was most agog) which thickens his sperm!! Can't bloody wait to see what he comes up with..

I'm sat here waiting for an acquaintance to turn up for a visit. I can't be arsed. She wants a chippy tea from our world famous(?) chippy here in the village. I do not. I'm not in a very good mood, in fact. Oh well...mustn't be ungrateful...

just popped in to say OMG the clinic just rang us up and told us we're top of the list for a donor already!! Blimey we only joined up a month ago! Apparently they've had an influx of altruistic donors and people who were on the list ahead of us are wanting to wait due to holidays etc

I haven't said no but I did want a little more time to save a bit more money but as most of it is having to go on a card i guess it doesn't make much difference - I could potentially be expecting within the next few months!

I'm a little scared but also very excited! Italian hope you don't mind my asking you for any tips or preparation you undertook before your treatment? Please feel free to keep quiet as I don't want to upset you

go for it tina xxx

Wow Tina that's great. Mind me asking which clinic you're with? (don't answer if you don't want to).

Btw I've had donor ivf so ask away if there's anything you want to know.

Fantastic news, Tina! How eggs-citing (sorry!) x

thanks ladies! pocket its the care clinic in nottingham. and Id be interested to know what preparations you did if any (diet etc) and did you take time off work after the transfer?

Tina good luck xxxx

Brilliant news Tina! Great that things are moving faster than you thought they would.

I went for an early reassurance scan today and saw a heartbeat, I'm now 6 weeks 3 days. Had a bit of a cry when I saw it and just crossing fingers little beanie holds on. Have had dreadful nausea in the past few days, followed by the vomiting starting yesterday. Saw my GP yesterday who's happy to sign me off work and has given me some anti-emetics, as I was awful with DD. Still coming into work at the mo, so can't be that bad yet. Seeing the scan today has given me a real positive boost. I'm thinking of all you ladies TTC, and hoping that BFPs are on their way to you all. Much love and hugs xxxxx

great news knicky crossing fingers for you big time [slight tear at loveliness].
i'm on 2ww now. DP is looking at me like, where has all the romance gone?
xx

knickyknocks, you must be quietly delighted. So very happy for you and hoping your nausea subsides. If I ever get pregnant again, I hope and pray I will feel as sick as a dog; before I miscarried I had no nausea whatsoever for the whole twelve weeks and I never thought this was normal.

Well, after editing (for this read 'basically rewriting') an appallingly-written PhD paper today which, enthrallingly, conceptualised research methodologies in the hunt for the Higgs bosun, I didn't think my afternoon could get any duller. Cue 90 minutes of Olympic women's football courtesy of the DP who happened to be home for the afternoon. I swear, if this were the eighteenth century and boredom were a crime, I would currently be strapped to a torturer's slab on a gallows in a twee market town being disembowelled with a large iron hook whilst having rotten cabbages thrown at my shaven head with only decapitation to look forward to...

Somewhere, laughed at your 'where has all the romance gone?'. When I say 'laughed' it was through gritted teeth as I am awaiting Sunday when DP & I will begin this month's baby-making attempts (I want SWI to take place Sun, Mon, Tues and Weds - day of ov). I am nervous about it. I hope DP's performance anxieties are battered into submission by a beast mightier than us all...Viagra. I don't envy your 2ww, somewhere; I'm horribly obsessive around that time. Are you charting your morning temps? I'm charting as from tomorrow, which is CD9. I no longer bother setting my alarm to temp for the first eight days of my cycle - what's the bloody point? I actually wish I had the discipline to stay away from my chart after ovulation; scrutinizing every little dip and rise can be soul-destroying. I will only be hopeful this month if I get a good three days' worth of sperm inside me with the final amount being the morning of ovulation. Then, maybe...I'll allow myself to hope....

Wow really great news Knicky.no am so pleased.

Somewhere that's made me laugh. Bless DP! Hope you have a peaceful 2ww. Bring on that BFP.

Tina an amalgamation of all the advice I've had/followed-ish is... Good diet, no fatty/fried stuff, lots of fruit and veg (soft fruits organic, don't bother with anything you peel), organic meat and dairy where poss, lots of water (aim for 2 litres per day - maybe a bit more in the heat). Not too much exercise particularly high impact, no running, x trainer or weights - that pretty much only leaves swimming and walking! I was also told to increase my protein by 50% for each meal (but I don't think I was having enough to start with, so maybe that's more about just making sure you have a decent amount of protein with every meal). Reduce stress (crazy but true!) - I found he zita west relaxation cd good. Oh and obviously folic acid. If I think of anything else I will repost.

I took transfer day plus two weeks off work (was lucky to have holiday time available). I will be honest, I had too much time on my hands and drove myself crazy symptom spotting - also its quite boring just resting all day for two weeks. Next time I will probably take just a week after transfer - they certainly do recommend rest for a few days after. and with legs in the air to get blood flow to uterus.

Accupuncture is also supposed to help. I has it for my second round (bfn) but not my first round (bfn them mc). Will probably do it again next time

Does that help?

Just ask if there's anything else x

Congrats Knicky xxx

Knicky - that's lovely, lovely news!

I've been busy starting to organise our trip to Lombok, which feels exciting. I think I need something to look forward to.

I'm seriously considering giving up ttc. Last night my DH said a few things which makes me feel that the desire for a baby is selfish and could damage our relationship. I wasn't really aware that he is "worried" that I'm still hoping for a baby,and he feels it would just be too much for him and our family. He's probably right. There's all sorts of reasons why I should just get over the desire and move on.

So I think I'm going to take the first step toward TTA(trying to avoid pregnancy), which seems so stupid after all this time TTC, but I think it is probably the best path for us.

Anyway, I'll still be around to keep an eye on everyone. It's such a supportive place to be and has kept me sane for the last couple of years.

I feel okay about it right now, but who knows how long that will last? Come ovulation time I'll be chaffing at the bit to get up-duffed...

Knicky that's great news, I hope the nausea means that your little bean is causing lots of hormonal changes that ensures it's staying put. And also that the anti-emetics work quickly.
Wow tina, top of the donor list already, how exciting. And pocket, sounds like you're making good progress with a donor too.

Hopeful, please do stick around, and we'll be here if/when you change your mind :)
Thanks for all that interesting information cuckoo. I'm hoping I may be able to order a thermometer tomorrow when our house is no longer occupied by nosey curious grandmothers. We do need them to help with the childcare but as they both live a long way away, they have to come and stay for a several days at a time every few weeks, which can be a bit trying all round. DH is now away again having been back for 2 nights, DTD both evenings (I have carpet burns !) but probably too early, and when he's back next week it'll be too late. But we've done what we can. I'm also going with the "if not pregnant, thin" mode, though the thin is as elusive as the pregnant. At least today I was able to buy size 14 clothes for the 1st time since DD was born and I'm almost officially not overweight. I definitely couldn't give up carbs though.

Brief life story is that I got pregnant fairly quickly at 39, following m/c previous year, though for various reasons we had to wait to TTC again after m/c. DH never really wanted kids, though had agreed we could have one, but was depressed throughout my pregnancy, & tho he has great relationship with DD, I was sure he wouldn't agree to try again, so I kept putting off discussion. So I was astonished when he agreed to give it a go, possibly because I told him the odds were low, but now I'm 44 and really worried it's too late, and DD was the result of my last good egg. But I know compared to many of you lovely, strong, brave ladies on here, I've had it really easy.

hi to all I haven't mentioned, and apologies for poor punctuation/spelling/rambling. It was meant to be a short post....

yes knicky - nausea is marvellous! .
cuckoo Sorry - I totally appreciate the emotions that must be running through your love life. I think not telling might be good - i now remember that's what that person I mentioned did TTC number 2. She'd had a MMC and a couple of other miscarriages and even though she'd had one DC it was so big emotionally - and people underestimate it - that for DC2 she secretly did OPK and then just got preg - at 42 if that's nice to know. I'm rooting for you and I that the big beast gives you a fantastic ride this month - let us know how it goes xx

sore breasts cd22. 5dpo. ???? are my nipples sore? i like to think so.
had sore breasts on cd22 last 2 cycles.
pssparkly your post isn't too long xxx

Hopeful...Lombok...where's that? Sounds exotic and fabulous !

I have been reading back on this thread for as far back as is humanly possible in one go without going a bit loopy and I have to say, hopeful, I really don't want you to give up trying to conceive. I know you've been touched by your husband's recent remarks (he sounds lovely, by-the-way) and you're sick to the back teeth of MCs and CPs so I don't say this lightly after reading your highs and lows: please don't give up. I believe it will happen for you. How does a woman, who has invested so much emotionally and psychologically into her quest for a last child, and who is still ovulating, learn to 'avoid conceiving'? I would imagine that, in itself, could be emotionally exhausting and torturous? I imagine, for all of us trying to conceive over 40, that the reality is that we are forever (or until menopause strikes) hard-wired to yearn to make the most of our monthly fertile window whilst we have the chance - and then grieve and gnash our teeth if that month has proved fruitless. That's just what we do, isn't it? I suspect that when you say you're considering giving up TTC you're attempting to give yourself that 'permission' that any woman would need in order to completely turn upside down that yearning for a baby and channel that energy elsewhere? I'm just not sure we can happily do that. I hope you succeed in finding peace with 'all this', but don't beat yourself up if you keep changing your mind, will you? I can feel from reading far back in your posts that it's all getting just a bit too much for you and I really can sympathise with you - honest. You're 46 in November? Why not wait until then...

I guess I'm just being selfish because I like reading your posts. P.s..how long have you been trying for this last baby?

Sparkly, thanks for your story - I hope you fall pregnant soon...buy the thermometer!

Somewhere, thank you for your kind words...day 6 today? How are you feeling?

DP asked me today which day next week I am ovulating. When I told him Wednesday he replied: "Right, well, we'll be having sex Monday, Tuesday and early Wednesday morning. Maybe even twice on Wednesday" (bless him..we had another 'trial run' with the Viagra last night and he's feeling very buoyant and ready to go, now). So, until then, I am twiddling my thumbs. There is a dearth of work for me just at the moment so yesterday I took myself off fishing and caught two tiddlers. The main thing is, it took me away from my office at home and I spent three hours thinking of nothing but depth-plungers, line weights and toilet roll (I was desperate for a poo). It was lovely.

Thinking of you all..