Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

Hugs all round as well - blackcats that must have been hard keeping the CP from your other half.

Blackcats, I know exactly how that feels, s I didn't tell my DH about the CP I had recently either. Like you I thought Id keep it to myself til later, til I felt that the pregnancy would progress, but I think I may have been a bit deluded, because I have no idea how I'd hide the terrible constant nausea I usually get. I guess I thought I'd see how long I could keep it a secret, I thought it would be before the 12 week scan, but after about 9-10 weeks because that's when I'd miscarried before. How silly of me - imagine if I had miscarried at 9 weeks, I would be so upset, how would I keep that from DH?

When I did miscarry around 5 weeks, I was glad I hadn't told him,as I think if I had he would want me to have my tubes tied or he'd wear a condom - mainly because he couldn't handle the loss again. It's tricky isn't it?

Goth - I'm glad you have a holiday to look forward to- sounds like just what you need.

I had a lovely day out with my daughters, shopping. They enjoyed the time together and with me, and it was fun. We had a lot of laughs and enjoyed hot chocolate and brownies at a cafe (well, they did, I had a cup of tea - trying to stick to my diet).

Hey Deige - are you opening the bistro? I'd love some crispy skinned salmon with pea puree and crunchy sweet potato chips. I'll have a crisp chardonnay and a bailey's creme brulee for dessert. My DS2, aged 19, works in a pub kitchen and made us the yummiest Bailey's creme brulee last week.

Thanks

I know what you mean about keeping it from your other half last time I didn't tell him I was pregnant as I knew I would lose it again it's funny but with my first child I didn't even think that I might lose it as I hadn't gone through any of this. It's strange how you feel differently as you get older. I am trying to stay positive just found out my step sister had her baby this morning. Mine was due on 7th July. Why is life so crap sometimes you try and feel better and then something kicks you back down. Sorry to go on just think you ladies on here are the only ones who know what its like.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words and stories. It's strange, you know, but six months ago, when I was still 40.5 years old, I had all the confidence in the world that I would not belong to the 'over 40' statistics of doom (and I did, indeed, get pregnant within 2 months of trying). However, now that 41 is looming (and I've had a MMC) I now feel like every other would-be mummy over 40 who is grasping and hoping that it is 'meant to be' that she has a child.

I have to say the 11 week scan was traumatic, if only because I was huge and my breasts were 2 cup sizes bigger and splattered with blue veins. My stomach was so big that DP and I ( and everyone else including our friendly Asan taxi driver!) were feully expecting to be told we were having twins (they run in the family). I was excitedly clutching my four pound coins ready to pay for the scan photo beforehand. The sonographer took ages with the scan and asked if I knew I had a womb which 'tipped backwards' (why would I?) She kept saying this probably explained why 'baby is hiding so well'...but I knew. I knew from the floppy, irregular-shaped and empty big sac on the screen. She called in her colleague and they did a vaginal scan but by this stage I was howling - literally. The sonographer lightly touched my knee in sympathy and said "I know, I know...you feel like there's no time left due to your age.." At which point I actually felt my world was caving in.

Anyway, it has humbled me, really, and I now no longer take for granted my body and no longer feel I am any more special than every other forty-plus desperate woman out there. I hope against hope we are all granted our dream very soon...

cuckoogirl I can so relate to your story I had a scan last nov at ten weeks and they told me the same my womb tilted backwards as if you would knw? I then had a vaginal scan which wasn't pleasant I had to have an ERPC in the end. You are right it does make you feel humbled and to be fair everyone was really nice at the hospital but it doesn't take away the pain. I think there must be more women out there going through this than we realise. With regards to age I have heard recently of women having children at 45 and 46 which makes me feel a lot better. Lets hope we are all lucky soon.

hello all, it's been a while since I posted. knicky your lovely words to me made me well up... but sadly, there are too many other mothers who have also lost their children, and I hate that.

fireflies We had the 20-week anomaly scan today, and the sonographer was very thorough, and especially checked for any signs of vasa previa (veins going to the baby outside the placenta, very rare and dangerous, but happened with Mia and was not picked up). I had been really worried, ironically because I had felt massive kicks a couple of nights ago, and while I had been delighted at that point , I had almost convinced myself in retrospect that it was the baby signalling to me that something was wrong. However, everything is thankfully ok, and baby is spot on for its growth charts. DH asked to hear the heartbeat, and had a little cry when he heard it. So that's the next hurdle over...

welcome to all the newer ladies here - paula, JBrd, cuckoo, gothic and irish My story is this : I am 42, and 20 weeks pg with my second child (natural conception, although we were about to start IVF) due early Dec. My beautiful red-headed daughter, Mia, was born when I was 40, however she died last October very unexpectedly at the age of 13 months. We were desperate for another child, and are obviously still dealing with our grief, so we are taking this pg one day at a time. Before Mia, I also had an anembryonic pg like you cuckoo, which we found out at 9 weeks when I started bleeding. I became pg with Mia about 5 months afterwards, with my doctor telling me I didn't need to wait...

Paula, I am so sorry for your loss...let's stay positive x

MiaAM, how utterly, utterly tragic..and how brave you are. How exciting (and, yes, scary) to be pregnant again. I'm so pleased things are progressing well for you. I found myself holding my breath reading your story and actually feel quite faint thinking of your loss. You deserve so much happiness and great joy x

MiaAM, may I ask, are you suggesting that having only waited 5 months from your anembryonic pregnancy to get pregnant with Mia that had something to do with the tragic outcome? Or am I totally misreading your post? I am so sorry if I have misunderstood..

No, sorry, I haven't been clear. Mia's death was totally and utterly unrelated to her birth, or to the previous MC. She was just very, very unlucky...a whole other story. All I meant to say was that I did manage to naturally conceive after the anembryonic pregnancy. My doctor didn't say anything one way or the other about being more or less fertile, but merely said 'get on with it' because of my age... Not sure there is any great wisdom for you to glean here, other than the fact that my age or the MC didn't prevent subsequent pgs. I just wish there was a 100% certainty factor for us all. December seems so very far away yet...

Thank you, MaiAM, for your clarification. I'll bet December feels like miles away for you, but, believe me...it isn't!! x

miasmummy so glad to hear the scan went well! Agree with cuckoogirl, 20 weeks isn't long at all, though must seem like an eternity before you have your baby in your arms.

mam great news that you've had 20 week scan and all ok. Keep up the good work.

gum thanks for your thoughts on CS, TTC and FET. Hope you are doing ok.

One handed typing again so just a quickie from me. Welcome to newbies. Hi and hugs to all> Have a great weekend.

btw, Diege, any chance of fish and chips later?

FF xx

Erm...why do people keep asking Diege for food??

diege opens a Friday night 'cafe' for all the thread , if she isn't too busy! Don't know the full history, but appreciate the sentiment, especially now I can't drink alcohol, although I am indulging in pretty much everything else... It's gorgonzola and spinach gnocchi for me, please, as well as prosecco and a then a nice sharp lemon tart, if you don't mind, diege. I so miss prosecco...

Oooh! Well, in that case, can I have a fillet steak with chips, please in a madeira sauce and hot cherry pie with real dairy icecream for afters? I'll have a can of Lupton's Iced Tea, too...

CAFE you say???!!!! It's a bistro I'll have you know . I have just finished my exam marked, spurred on by a 'warning- we know your marks are late' e-mail
Good to hear everyone's news and mam that's such great news about your scan. Had been thinking it must be any day now.
Gum I really get where you're coming from wanting that last baby - ignore all the comments - you don't want to look back at 60 and think worrying about what people think stopped you giving it your best shot. I do have (and have always said) that I feel you will get there in the end, however sadly stressful and emotional draining it all is xxx
I have read through the thread at various points in the week, and so sorry to hear tales of past mmc, bad scans etc. Sadly I think most of us have been there at some poitn . It really is an emotional rollarcoaster but this thread is such a great source of support, so let's raise a (non alcoholic) glass to us all xxx
All fine here - annual leave on Tuesday till mid-august when I will do some creative working from home to cover childcare . Off to see the women's olympic football next week at cardiff, courtesy of free work tickets - not told the dds yet; will be a big surprise for them and we'll be staying in a hotel which they think is the best thing in the world!
Love to all, and I'll get those orders processed pronto!

*Miasmummy", I'm so glad that your scan went well. I know 20 weeks til birth seems so far, but before you know it your darling baby will be in your arms. And I think lovely Mia is by your side (I'm sure she had a hand in the conception, from what you said before)keeping an eye on things.

Deige - hurray on getting the marking finished - that's a huge mountain to climb. I hate exam marking, but the only way to get it done is to knuckle down and do it.

Your trip to Cardiff with DDs sounds wonderful. You'll be starting holidays and I'm finishing mine. We start again on Monday. I don't usually work on Mondays, but the Government ,in its wisdom, are introducing a new national curriculum in Australia, so it's best I go to the professional learning on Monday. The bonus is an extra days pay, but I think I'd rather have an extra day at home with the kids(pupil free for them).

I'm in the process of organising a holiday for the family to Lombok and Bali next year. Last time I did this the whole family went and had to leave me behind because I was 35 weeks pregnant and couldn't get travel insurance(and had a threatened prem labour). So perhaps organising this holiday will get me pregnant? I'm hoping to be pregnant and have given birth well before we go on the holiday, but we all know at this age, it is impossible to just "plan" a pregnancy and have it happen. At least it is something to plan...(the holiday)

Do the Olympics start soon [stupid emoticon]? Are any of you living in London? Has it got madly busy there?I think I heard that traffic is really slow?It must be both exciting and annoying at the same time. I think I'd clear out of London and rent my house out for squillions if I was there.

I'm with you, Deige , raising a glass to the wonderful supportive friends I have on Mumsnet

Hi Gum! Holiday plans sound amazing! Let's hope you have a little bundle to take along with you. Not anywhere near London here, but the olympic events are (to some extent) throughout the UK, with a few quite close by. Though the one we're going to is a good 3.5 hrs train journey away - London would be closer! Exam marking is finished, a massive relief, just need to take the final batch down to the PO this morning.
Lovely sunny morning here which is such a novelty. I don't think my washing will know what to do with itself
Love to all, and hope the bistro went down well

yep diege and gum totally agree - was just thinking last night as I went to bed how amazing it is to have all these virtual friends. We're like brains in tanks chatting about our dreams, but it really works. This is a good thread - the only place I can really talk about it and feel people understand. I do tone it down a bit but only a bit.
cuckoo yes someone close to me had that experience and it was devatastating. They didn't have much support from their DP but nonetheless they went on to have two babies so don't give up hope. You are very brave.
goth where are you going on holiday?
diege I'm low-carbing so can I have some lank shanks with carrots, broccoli and .... er... mange tout.
mam BRILLIANT NEWS so pleased .
sorry for anyone i've missed DP circling
xxx

Lank shanks coming up somewhere - hope that's not a Freudian slip
I sort of raised the possibility of going for number 6 last night with dh (you're right about the broodiness at 9/10 mths Gum) but not something imminent (saying yes that is). I think he could be turned, but at present dh's mother very ill with mid stage Althzeimers which is causing a lot of stresses at present. Not sure I want to be 'turned' towards ttc-ing either, but again I could be persuaded!
I'm pretty convinced dd1 has chicken pox (his best frined presented with spots 10 days ago). He has two large pink spots on his tummy, though seems well etc. Just too much of a coincidence not to be iyswim . Will have to take him into work with me on Monday (to pick up the Olympic tickets, must get the tickets) but will go in very quickly and avoid any sort of human contact. Then dh will take over weds/thurs when we're away in Cardiff. I am NOT missing out on the Olympics now I am so close!

Hello - I'm mostly a lurker (with some posts as Elena67), but here's some news: A BFP this morning! 4+1 and I haven't even told DP as he's out til teatime but I have to tell someone! I am 45, with one DS aged 2 so there's hope for all... For Today I Am Pregnant.

MrsWooster! How incredibly brilliant! I'm so happy for you (as everyone else will be on here)!

Please can we have some more brief 'life stories' like Miasmummy gave us the other day? I'd like to know people's backgrounds a little more if you can be bothered? Thank you, and have a great weekend all.

Oh, and can anyone please tell me what results we are looking for from the blood that was taken on day 2 of my cycle? I know when they take blood again on day 21 they'll be looking at progesterone levels - am I right? Also, I ovulate on day 15 each month - shouldn't they be taking blood on day 22 for me, then (seven days after ov)? Thanks for any advice.

Hi all, I was going to wait til later to post, but the fantastic news from MrsWooster spurred me to do it now. Congratulations MrsW, that's brilliant, Fx it's a sticky one. And congratulations too to irish. I know it's very early days but I've been feeling a bit dispondent and this is very encouraging news. It's not too late.
Welcome cuckoo, paula & Jbrd. I'd never heard of an anembryonic pregnancy before I had one, but I think it must be relatively common, I know of at least two other people in RL who've had them. I suppose it's all tied up with the silence around MC. But on the positive side, in RL I know women who've had babies at 41 to 45, and at least 3 of those were natural conceptions (don't know about the other 2) so just adding that in together with the recent BFPs on here that it can happen. I'm just having a "don't think it'll happen for me" few days especially as DH not around much at the moment.

Miasmum, excellent news that all is fine with your 20 weeks scan, that seems to me to have come round quite quickly, but probably not for you. Enjoy your Olympic volunteering, sounds exciting, but as others have said, don't overdo it. Knicky, I hope all is well and you're feeling ok both physically & emotionally. Deige, you must be pleased to have got all that marking out of the way and handed it over the post office. Gum your weekend away sounds lovely, and I like your holiday plans, maybe they'll do the trick and you won't be able to go for the right reasons!
I have a question for the knowledgable ladies here. Last cycle (as I may have mentioned more than once) I had really sore boobs for about 2 weeks, so despite the BFN, I think there's a possibility something may have happened. (AF finally arrived after a 32 day cycle, slightly longer than average but not unusual). But I always have sore boobs for about a week before AF arrives which stops 24-48 hours beforehand, which I guess would coincide with a temp drop if I ever get chance to order a BBT thermometer. So as far as I know, the soreness is due to progesterone, and I'm producing progesterone every cycle, so that does that mean I'm definitely ovulating? Of is it possible to produce it without ovulation? Sorry for the ramble. I've been checking in but no time to post as work mad - we finally left our lovely old building for the shiny new one last week, which was a bit of a wrench having worked there for many years, and then this week poor DD has had tonsilitis. She's better now and demanding food....
Sorry not to name check everyone, hope you are all well, love to all. xx

Sparkly, I've been temping with fertilityfriend since I started TTC. It's a bloody obsession, and what I don't know about my cycles aint worth knowing! The first cycle after my missed miscarriage (ERPC) I could see that my spiky temps remained more or less the same throughout the cycle. Fertlityfriend suggested I 'may' have ovulated on day 22 but, looking at the inconsiderable shift (which would indicate progesterone levels), I would say I didn't ovulate (OPKs remained negative, too). My point is, even towards the end of that cycle my temps were as high and spiky as those preceding them, which suggests to me that decent levels of progesterone can still be present despite not having ovulated.

Deffo get yourself a basal body thermometer - they're super. My luteal phase is normally 14 days but since the ERPC four months ago it has been 13. I know from CD10 whether I'm pregnant as each day thereafter until AF arrives there is a slight but steady decline in temps. Sometimes day 13 remains the same temp as day 12 and I start to get really excited, but it always ends the same with day 14 dropping considerably. It's so predictable that I no longer buy pregnancy tests; when I see that descending arc from day 10/11 I know I'm doomed (and I no longer get excited that I'm still pretty high up off the coverline on day 13).

I don't know if any of this helps but I find it actually helps ME telling you how I interpret the annoying/exciting little foibles within my charts!

P.s..I trust fertilityfriend implicitly with pinpointing ovulation; they've never been wrong yet. Even when, once, I knew they'd got it wrong, they amazingly corrected themselves two days later without my prompting. Brilliant!