Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

Crossed posts there, Knicky, thanks for that. Another ray of hope

I've just ordered Pre-Seed from Amazon at £14.20 (would still like your comments though)!

knicky & somewhere great news about your scans - was crossing everything for you - my consultant informed me that the nuchal translucency screening is more accurate if you're older, so that must be so reassuring for you. You can hopefully relax & enjoy the rest of your pregnancies now.

golden was laughing out loud at your shoplifting escapade! If it's really worrying you, you could call the store, ask to speak to customer services & pay over the phone? If not, am sure free chicken tastes twice as nice as paid-for!

I'm 9 days post-ovulation according to FF. Temp is still up, not sure when I would expect it to fall pre-AF - anyone know? Not too hopeful this month, due to lack of DTD enough - DP had job interview day before OV so we missed it this month I reckon.

I think we've lost momentum in TTC. After the mmc in June, we were straight back on the TTC wagon, however my cycles were so bizarre & I don't think I was OV.

Lotsofcheese, it would depend on your usual luteal phase as to when you could expect your temperature to drop. My luteal phase has been 12 days of late and I know on day 11 whether to keep my hopes up. Day 10 is as nice and high as the days preceding it, then day 11 takes an ever-so-slight dip and day 12 is not all the way down to the coverline, but enough for me to know my period is imminent. I will spot later that day and then have a medium flow the next day (CD1). Aside from this, I know from being bloated, intolerant and hugely doom-laden on day 11 that AF is on its way. If, on day 12, my temperature has not dropped in the slightest, I would be doing cartwheels in Tesco (thanks for the advice, by-the-way. I may try the phoning-to-pay strategy. I'm reluctant to approach Customer Services in person as it's not so long ago that I demanded to know who'd stolen my umbrella from just inside the store where it had been drying out - a horrid, garish, mammoth golfing monstrosity belonging to DP which I was embarrassed to be seen out with. The lady appeared from lost property with a stunner of a brolly - electric pop-out handle, BMW splattered on the side to indicate my great career/posh car - and I yelled "yes! that's my brolly!" to which she replied "but we've had this months and you only lost yours 20 minutes ago" I admitted it wasn't mine but asked her if I could have it anyway and she said yes! So, I wouldn't want to have to deal with her again - she might just begin to suspect that I am a lunatic, thieving blaggard

Cheese, I know how easy it is to lose momentum when you haven't fallen pregnant straightaway after your miscarriage. But you need to stay rational here and remember that, for you, it was only 3 months ago. KEEP GOING. Notwithstanding there are life matters which sometimes preclude well-timed sex (your DP's interview - where was it? Istanbul? ) you need to be getting plenty of sperm in there for a chance each month. Don't give up, love. Do everything you can to ensure your chances are at an optimum. A month at our age is a long time to wait for that next chance. Don't feel guilty that the romance has gone out of fertile window sex. Don't expect it to get any easier. Don't expect the pressure to lessen. Insist you try different rooms of the house - this is the most practical way of attempting to 'spice things up'. I'm not going to tell you not to obsess - we're beyond that now, I'm afraid (except for Goth, who is a descendent of the Dalai Lama). It will happen for you, love, just keep at it x

Mmm, I'm thinking AF might be visiting soon - had a big drop in temperature this morning & feeling crampy. On day 10 PO & CD 24. According to FF, AF is due Wed next week but I think I'll see her before....

Yes, Cheese, sounds like the witch is on her way to you. Don't be dismayed; it really is not long ago you suffered the miscarriage. You're new to fertilityfriend, yes? Would you like me to share my charts since my miscarriage and you can see how my temps and luteal phase misbehaved until quite recently? I'll have a go...

Cheese: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/goldengirl71

Work your way back to my miscarriage cycle immediately after the ERPC (26 March) and look at how erratic the temps are during the initially short luteal phases. I feel I have only seriously been in with a chance since June/July. Before this time I reckon my hormones were still misbehaving/recovering.

Hi Guys! Bistro is open and hopefully even the late arrivers will find something to their taste (I have devised a range of take home and heat up in the microwave gourmet meals for those of you who come to it late). I am having deep fried tofu in balck bean sauce, with pancakes and chocolate sauce to finish.
Really glad the scans went well this week knicky and somewhere. LOts of interesting reading about temps etc. With mine I'd get a temp drop on the day af arrived, with no hints beforehand. I do remember reading that even when the temp might drop but you only have spotting, that this still counts as part of the LP, as opposed to cd one. That thought kept me going when having a 10 day LP .
Golden I have used preseed - awful, gloopy stuff. It did work though, although might have been coincidence as I was in my mid-30s at the time and was desperate after not falling pregnant after 4 months . One word of advice - you don't need as much as you think, and it is very cold wherever you store it
Gum hope you're ok xx How long realistically would you be putting ttc-ing on hold to accomodate the holiday? I'm not sure I could be so restrained - is there no way you could investigate the possibility of insurance, even if expensive? Sorry, not very useful, just seems very frustrating for you!
Oh and Golden do NOT take the chicken back. I have done similar, albeit of the magazine/newspaper/baby milk variety stuffed beneath a folded pushchair hood, and figure they get the money out of me in so many other ways .
Love to all, and may the force be strong over the next few weeks of testing and obsessing over temps etc - let's hope for some more good news very soon xxx

Hiya, Diege. Can I have some free chips to go with my free chicken, please? and if you'll kindly turn your back for a moment I can surreptitiously whip a cake off the dessert trolley

Thanks for Pre-Seed advice. I've ordered one which comes with applicators which look like syringes. I'm hoping these will be easier to use than the self-insemination pipettes which came from India I also took your advice last AF regarding spotting being counted as last day of luteal phase. Funnily enough, I think it was implementing this which has wrought a CD16 ovulation day rather than my usual CD15. Does this make any sense to you?

Still worried about the consequences of not paying for whole roast chicken. I am worried that Bad Things will happen to me. For example: coming back as a chicken in the next life; choking on a chicken bone and dying a slow and terrifying death; getting run over and horribly maimed whilst helping a chicken cross the road; getting pregnant and, at the 20 week scan, the sonographer turning to us and saying: "Congratulations. You are having a chicken".

No, the worst that will happen is that when you are pregnant you will loathe the smell of chicken, then the baby will decide to be a vegan.

Going to a BBQ tonight (in Ireland, in the rain) so DH may have a few beers to stay warm, and may be vulnerable so we can TTC

I also would implore Hopeful to keep trying. Lombok versus baby = no contest

Yay, Eire! Remember: when a man says 'no' he means 'yes'.

Ah yes, holiday versus baby does seem no contest, but realistically, that's what happened with my last pregnancy and I missed the holiday and missed my family terribly whilst I stayed home and we had the worst storm in 100 years and I had to drag trees off my driveway (it's a very long driveway and no other way out), whilst heavily pregnant (35 weeks), and also put up with 36 hours of no electricity (therefore no hot water,cold and dark). It was awful.

However, my brain has been a scheming and I think,as we've not yet bought air tickets, the accommodation may be flexible, so we could go later or sooner. I really wouldn't mind going on holiday at 20-25 weeks(Deige, they just won't give insurance if you are more pregnant than 25 weeks, I checked numerous companies). It would be fine. But, truth is, I'm feeling like I'm past it,that there isn't a good egg to be found. I'm not being negative or doom and gloom, just realistic. I think I've given it a bloody good try - three years, three miscarriages- and at some point have to let it go.

...but maybe not just yet...

I'm not ordering from the bistro as I'm feeling a bit scared of food after last night. Both DH and I started to feel sick after dinner,then both of us threw up. Yuck.Obviously it was something we ate, either the steak or pumpkin (because the kids had everything else we ate and they were fine). Feel okay this morning apart from a headache, but not game to eat much.

Golden, don't worry about the chicken. It was an honest mistake,and never fear, the big supermarkets feel quite at home with robbing their customers blind. My DS has stolen a few items by tucking them into his pushchair whilst I wasn't looking, but I feel no guilt at all.And he was so young, he didn't know he was getting away with a crime ( I'm not grooming him for a life of crime).

Good luck to the ladies coming to the end of the 2ww.Hope it is good news all round.

Well, it's been a weird morning round here. Yesterday, after temperature dip & cramping, I'd resigned myself to AF visiting soon.

Last night, I had a dream I was pregnant & did a positive test in my dream.

This morning, I checked my temperature & it was up, so I POAS - despite being only 11 days PO - it was positive!!!! Nearly threw the test in the bin as I hadn't interpreted it right!! Ooops!! DP checked & confirmed :-

So here we go again - have a good mindset this time - that I don't expect NOT to have a m/c & will be literally taking 1 day at a time. I've got through 2 m/c before so I can do it again if I need to.

Cheese, that is unbelievably good news! Congratulations my love. I'm so very you got caught so soon but so very, very thrilled for you. And you only DTD twice during your fertile window! I am definitely having a rethink next month about all this timing-and-abundance-of-sex malarky. Your attitude is good, too, of course: no expectations and reining in euphoria. But how exciting!

Hopeful, sorry you're feeling gah. Steak & pumpkin sounds very healthy. I am also rethinking my diet next month; I like the sound of your 'clean' palate. Your 'resignation' sounds positive, too, and healthy. I still wish you the very best of luck producing (and fertilising!) a golden egg.

I have had a dip in temperature today, but as I'm still unsure whether it's 10 or 11DPO I don't know whether to kill myself immediately or wait until tomorrow (must pay for stolen chicken beforehand). If my period does come (and I have absolutely no doubt that it will, I have several New TTC Resolutions which I have devised in order to lessen desperation and anguish each cycle and optimise my chances even further. They are small, easily attainable goals and mindset adjustments but I feel they can only make a significant impact on what is becoming, for me, a fucking tedious and often degrading obsession.

I'm going to a torchlight procession in the city this evening with some friends. I hate parades, crowds, screaming kids, couples holding hands, families, food stalls, noise, loud music, slow people, old people, carnival atmospheres, waving, cheering and standing for long periods. Do you think I'll enjoy myself?

Actually, now I've actually plotted my temperature on the chart I can see it hasn't just dipped, it's plunged below the coverline. On 10DPO? Could this be an implantation dip? [oh, fk off, Golden, and go and do something productive for once]

Congratulations cheese!

I wonder how AddictedToCrunchies and OneMoreForGoodMeasure are doing? [f**ks off to get a life]

Wow congratulations Cheese - very odd having that dream too
golden I had an implantation dip at 10dpo with ds2, just slightly below the cover line, then shot up (though not massively) then next day. So it's not over yet!
Gum good to hear from you and I totally understand why you wouldn't want to repeat the same experience as last time. Possibility of moving dates sounds ok though - how many months might that buy you?
Hi Irish! How are you feeling?
Love to all x

Well, my plan was an epic fail. Drank too much beer myself, thus unable to hold DH close enough when he again moved away at the crucial moment.

Very happy for lotsofcheese- not "spoken" to you before, but have been reading your posings avidly

Hi diege!
I've not had a great week , it should have been my 12 week scan so that was a sad milestone.
I saw my GP and enquired about a referral to investigate my miscarriages. She was very sympathetic and contacted the consulant but phoned me a few days later to say they wouldn't see me. Because we have three dc who were straightforward pregnancies and are healthy they say it rules out a lot of the problems they would test for, and due to my age the likelihood of a chromosomal problem causing the mc would be high. (I had asked before I mc if they would test for chromosomal abnormalities on this one but they said not).If there was any clotting problem they would only advise taking aspirin anyway.The conclusion was that there was no reason not to try again after a few cycles if we wanted but to take a baby aspirin daily. Any pregnancy would only have a 50% chance of being successful anyway.
I would have liked the chance to talk it through with a specialist. I could consider a private referral but I don't know if it would achieve anything if the only treatment advised would be aspirin.
Now I just keep wondering if I had taken aspirin before would it have made a difference to my last pregnancy. Baby died at 8w6d and the critical time for placental development we've been told is 9w. There's a poster up in the EPU reassuring people that the chance of mc after seeing a heartbeat at 8w is 2%. I suppose we'll never know but I don't know why they waited for 3 mc to advise aspirin .
DH and I had a good talk. I realise I'm grieving and hormonal and not in a very rational frame of mind ,but at the moment I feel I still want to try again. He's open to the possibility but we will concentrate on making some time for the two of us and the kids for a month or two and I'm going to try and eat well/get physically back to normal and we'll decide then. I suppose I've been pregnant or recovering from a miscarriage since jan, my body's been through a lot! Having said that,bleeding is easing off and I'm starting on my pregnacare conception tablets again and temping just to be prepared,just in case!

Miasmum, I love the idea of Mia's wood, what a lovely tribute. It must be such a difficult time for you leading up to Mia's birthday and then anniversary, I've been thinking of you. x

Hopeful, you sound so calm and relaxed in your posts, it gives me hope I may get to a point where I feel less obsessed and more philosophical about things. Hope you're over your food poisoning!

Goldengirl, your chicken story made me smile! My dd2in a forward facing pushchair once managed to grab and shoplift a designer shoe(very nice too, she was a bit of a fashionista even as a toddler!).When I brought it back to the shop the staff looked very disbelieving at my story, though why anyone would want to deliberately take one shoe I don't know!

Eire, a bbq in ireland in Sept sounds very brave, did it rain?

Love to everyone else x

Oh cheese, I am so pleased about your bfp. I had a feeling there would be some good news on this thread soon. Love that your dream gave you the heads up.

My food poisoning is all gone. Relief emoticon. Didn't enjoy it much. But nice surprise on the scales, lost another kilo during the week. I'm getting used to this clean diet and really don't miss the bad stuff at all. I haven't felt this free of cravings forever.

The news of a bfp has me wanting to get one myself, but it isn't that simple. My DH was talking about how expensive kids are,and how he looks forward to a time when things won't be so tough financially. I think a new baby would send him into a terrible tailspin. I wish he didn't care about it so much, but he does work hard and deserves rewards for all the hard work. Personally I find children bring much greater rewards, but I can't convince him.

I had a wonderful dream a couple of days ago that involved an eagle coming up really close to me, not scary at all. I have this thing about eagles being my "totem", every time I got pregnant, before I knew, I would notice an eagle flying over,and it is just coincidence I know, but I like to see it as a sign ( I must sound like I need to be committed). Anyway, I liked that there was an eagle in my dream. We have some beautiful sea eagles that live in our area.

We hada a late night last night, had visited a friend's farm and had dinner. It was lovely, and we were over our food poisoning by then. So now I need a nap. I'm used to going to bed at 8.30, not midnight!

Hi, I'm 41 and trying for my first baby. Any advice would be much appreciated :)

Hello, Jksfii, I turned 41 a couple of weeks ago and am trying for my first baby, too. I would recommend fertilityfriend.com to any woman trying to conceive, if only so you can be sure you are ovulating each month and which days are your most fertile. Invest in a digital basal body temperature thermometer (Amazon - a few quid) to plot your temperature each morning - this will show if and when you are ovulating and when to have the most plentiful and well-timed intercourse to optimise your chances of conceiving. If all that sounds too obsessive, get used to it! By the time you've finished learning about your fertility and cycles there will be nothing you don't know about your body. A brilliant read for anyone trying for a baby is Zita West's Guide To Getting Pregnant (again, Amazon).

The best advice I could give is to read Zita's book, have plenty of sex during your fertile window and take very good care of your relationship - the road ahead is a potentially long, often disappointing rollercoaster of a ride. Take heart - there are currently four women over 40 on this very thread who are pregnant and several more have recently had babies.

Lots of luck