Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

Happy birthday goldengirl - a pregnancy would be the ultimate birthday present!

How's everyone doing?

Mia'smum - how are you coping with your anniversaries? Wishing you strength to get through the next wee while.

And FF always lovely to hear a positive story from another 40+

I'm not too hopeful about conceiving this month; only managed to DTD twice during my fertile days - although, having says that, I've ironically always got pregnant when we've done it the least ( the last two times were just dtd once on a cycle) but they both ended in m/c

So, onwards & upwards xx

Happy Birthday GG. When I got pregnant with my son it was literally days before my 41st birthday. I hope it happens for you.

You should rest assured you've given yourself the best chance.

I'm 9 or 10 dpo, but don't have my hopes up too high.

hello just thought i'd drop in. 8 weeks, 3 weeks till my nuchal. not getting over-excited - anything could happen, they are refusing me a viability scan. Still telling myself i'm only a 'little bit pregnant'.

and feeling grossly bilious also makes one feel a bit less chipper!

happy birthday golden small acts of heroism go on in the bedroom that you could only possibly hear about on a thread like this, and that sounds like one of them.

where is knickyknocks? where are you hon?

good luck cheese and gum. miasmummy hope you are doing ok with the anniversary.

ff did you go to the butterflies? i did really enjoy the exhibition, i find Hirst wierd - i don't know how to reconcile his wealth with his art - and i know maybe that's the point but then maybe it isn't... but i did love the butterflies and the pharmacy installation - i love anything immersive.

hugs to all

xxx

Ooooo! Thanks for my birthday wishes. My favourite pressie was the carrier bag full of luxury biscuits DP brought home free from his new job: caramel wafers; foil-wrapped chocolate mallows; luxury shortbread; all-butter sultana cookies; triple choc cookies. I took the whole carrier bag to bed and munched to my heart's content whilst reading Wolf Hall. Birthday heaven. Starting from today DP brings home his own van chock-full of these goodies which will be parked on our driveway EVERY FECKING NIGHT

Good luck this month, Cheese. Hopeful, you'll be testing any day now, right? Fertilityfriend are insisting [sigh] that I ovulated on day 14 this month, but my cervix tells me it was day 15 (which is usual). Day 14 would actually be more fortuitous sex-wise (day 15 self-insemination was very late in the evening) but...hey-ho.

Somewhere, I'm so excited for you (even though you're not allowed to be yourself). What is a viability scan, please? I can tell you how to reconcile Damien's wealth with his art: imagine all those oligarchs spending up to £19m for a canvas full of coloured spots. Then laugh.

But, then again, I always relish the über-rich being legitimately conned out of their wealth

Butterflies give me the willies

golden you're making me salivate!!
All these delicious-sounding biscuits!! Am trying to exert restraint on the food front, need to get a bit of weight off before becoming pg

somewhere would you consider a private reassurance scan? It might put your mind at rest, it's agonising waiting till 12 weeks

Hello again, I've been away from this thread too long, so much happening! Congrats to all of you who managed to get knocked up, and my heart goes out to those of you who've had very sad experiences in the last few weeks (sorry for not mentioning you all individually!).
So my cycles appear to be getting back to normal, slowly but surely. AF came 5 days early last month, which is unusual, but it was only the second one since stopping the pill, so I guess it's acceptable. Ovulation was bang on time, then, and DH got lucky - a lot . I'm not telling him when I ovulate, but it takes no Sherlock to guess. We DTD a lot in the run-up to ovulation, but then I have to admit I ran out of steam for the days afterwards... Still hoping we get lucky, but I'm not due for AF for another week - trying to resist temptation to test early...

JBrd, I never manage sex in the days immediately after ovulation - too knackered from all the effort in the run-up!

Hello all, I'm much more of a lurker these days, but dropping in to say hello (especially after the lovely somewhere gave me a bit of a nudge to reappear!)

golden your birthday picnic sounded just heavenly. I've got to say though I'm not sure whether I would be able to contain myself in not stealing DPs keys to the van and ransacking that shortbread.... On a different note I should mention that I think I became pregnant when my egg had already travelled most of mu tube, I say that because the day we DTD I think I'd already ovulated the night before. Your day 15 insemination may not be too late. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
somewhere 8 and a half weeks? Everything is as it should be, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you too. I know what an anxious time this is. It's been a real battle for me this time to keep my fears at bay. I had a scan at 6 and a bit weeks and that definitely helped. Maybe a private reassurance scan may help? jbrd I never used to tell my hubby either which day was ov day. As you say they don't need to be some amazing detective to work it out! Fingers crossed this is your month.
miasmummy, how are you doing? With the Olympics all done and dusted, I hope you're resting up a bit more, though understand that you've got an especially tough few weeks coming up. I really hope that you and bump are doing well.
Irish how are you honey? I've been thinking of you. XX
cheese and gum, I'm hoping this is your month.
FF just lovely to hear how you're getting on with you lovely boy.

AFM, I'm 11 +6, the nuchal scan is booked for Wednesday 5th Sept. Feeling quietly anxious, not least for the increased risks for being 40+. I'm just hoping that everything will look as it should and I'm given the best odds. Given how long it took me to conceive, I think it just adds to anxiety levels. Still nauseous and vomiting but not as much as I was, and wearing maternity trousers. I think my stomach muscles (if I ever had any) have already given up and heading south

Aaaargh! Fertilityfriend have moved my ovulation day to 16! We didn't have sex on day 16! I never ovulate on day fecking 16! My cervix was soft, high & open on day 15! [sulks]

Knicky, I can't afford to ransack DPs van - the prices of these 'fine quality biscuits' are astronomical The very best of luck for next Wednesday, love. Please report back to us straightaway? x

golden maybe it's ok if you didn't do it on day 16 - as long as there was lots of sperm up there. and is fertility friend so perfect?

knicky pleased to hear from you. i thought you'd had your nuchal by now as i'm thinking you are 4 weeks ahead but i suppose you'd have told us, and was impatient to hear. Good luck, i will be crossing my fingers and touching wood for you. I am impressed by your ability to lurk - i just can't stop wittering away. Glad your nausea is better.

I'm 8+2 and in maternity jeans! i would rather not be - it feels like its tempting fate and makes it harder to maintain my sense of two possible futures - but i am just huge.

anyway went out with a friend last night who said 'any big news?' as soon as she saw me ( i was wearing a shed-effect smock). i managed to wiggle out of it and it releived my anxiety a bit to spend an evening in the other possible future.

but who knows. what will be will be. hope people don't mind me pondering it on here - these weeks really are interminable.

i am thinking i'll go to A&E with a story to get a scan.
xxxx

golden sounds a bit tortuous to me, having all those lovely buttery biscuits just outside the house but not being able to touch them .

I'll report back the outcome of the scan. Flipping heck, it really is very soon. I'm so happy to be finally pregnant, but pregnancy doesn"t seem to suit me, with flipping awful MS. For me, it's a means to the end that I want. All this said, it makes me feel anxious even writing this, as I just want everything to be ok at the scan.

somewhere I've also been wearing maternity trousers for a couple of weeks. I don't particularly want to but anything tight against my tummy made my MS worse. I've already got a bit of a bump at this rate I'm going to be the size of a house.

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend. The early mornings are getting colder - definitely an autumnal feel to the air. To the ladies in the 2WW, my fingers are crossed for you. Much love xxx

*Somewhere, do whatever it takes to get that scan. I think I would even resort to telling them I had been inseminated by aliens. But that's just me

Eire & Irish, how are you holding up, girls? Thinking of you. Let us know how you are.

Tina, how goes it for you, love? Injections finished? What's next?

Blackcats, how are you doing?

Diege, how was Whitby? I'm feeling a bit guilty that I didn't share my luxury biscuits with all the ladies on here when the bistro was shut. Selfish cow

Hopeful, anything happening?

Hello to FF, Sparkly, Italian, Hippy, Goth, Lolfactor, AngelGeorgie and sorry if I've missed anyone.

Knicky, can't wait to hear you breathe a sigh of relief. I know how dodgy the wait for the scan can be. My thoughts are with you x

Thanks, GG. I had a tiny setback- started bleeding again, stopped, then DH told me he does not want to TTC. Very sad but hoping he will change his mind

sorry bit of a grumpy post yest - i was so knackered i felt i was crumbling and as i wrote my DP was saying 'why do you want to speak to all these strangers on mumsnet when you can talk to me?'

anyway i had gone to olympic park with dear sister, nephew, niece and son. only to find you cant buy tickets on the door which had inexplicably taken root in me and ds's mind as fact.

we had two little ones with very raised expectations about the biggest MacDonald's in the world so we had to go all the way to .... Westfield! hooray, maccy ds in Westfield, my perfect family day out!

but then my DS remembered there's a storytelling museum nearby so we went to that. it was fabulous - the basement is all dark with these phantasmagoric neon-lit shops and vet surgeries and laboratories and what not - i would have loved that when i was a kid!

but it was too much for one day - lots of walking around the very large, crowded streets and byways of Stratford. i went to sleep with DS at 8pm.

thanks so much golden i have actually considered its an alien or twins cause of size.

ps i think it's not hopeless this month - better to get the sperm in early before a live egg than after when it's too late. I am rooting for you.

knicky i know exactly what you mean - every thing you wrote could be about me. there should be a special thread for this phase - when you're lucky but you sure don't feel it.

but anyway today i went swimming and now lying in bed with DS watching mister maker in a window next door to this one and got to f

Eirehead if your DP is anything like mine he will change his mind. these decisions can't be made unilaterally.

big hugs to all you lovely brave and interesting ladies

xxx

hi all,
just sneaking in while I have 5 free minutes at work. Hasn't been a particularly stressful work day but I'm feeling very anti-work today, still nearly home time!
belated birthday wishes to GG and FF, the biscuits sound fab GG - and best of luck for this month after your DHs heroics!
Knicky, I'll be thinking of you at your scan on Wednesday & hoping all is fine.

Miasmum, how are you coping - sending big hugs
Eire, hope your DH changes his mind soon. How are you doing Irish?

I don't know exactly when I ovulate (still haven't got the BBT), but I'm convinced that DH is subconsciously aware of it as we always seem to DTD more mid-cycle, and have managed quite a bit in the last week, though we need a couple more goes to cover it!
got go, love to all

hi everyone. I'm still around,but have been feeling quite low and down.
After a very surreal few weeks waiting to miscarry naturally and still feeling pregnant I started to bleed Thurs morning. I was due a scan at the EPU that day anyway and when they checked the pregnancy was still there. We thought we'd give it a few more days before intervening and I went on to have a lot of pain and lost placenta etc in the early hours of Fri morning.Didn't see baby but there was a lot of blood and clots and didn't investigate. Now the physical symptoms are settling down, I feel drained but not in much pain, but I think the emotional element is really kicking in and the loss feels a bit overwhelming sometimes.
The midwife at the EPU said they wouldn't do any investigation for recurrent miscarriage for me because of my age,and it was likely to be chromosomal abnormalities . I am seeing my GP tomorrow anyway so I'll ask her, I don't know if DH will want to ttc again but we could at least make a more informed decision. I know if there's any chance I would want to try again though I know it won't replace the ones we've lost.
Sorry to be so self absorbed !

Belated happy birthday to FF and GG.

Somewhere, when I discovered Mumsnet and DD2 8 found out I was talking to "strangers" online she told me off, I think they drum the risks of stranger danger and internet safety into them at school. Anyway, you lot feel more like friends than strangers! Glad to hear your preg is going well, as knicky says could you have a private scan for reassurance? When I had mine I just googled scans in our area and was amazed at the number of clinics that are around.

Knicky, hope all goes well for you next week.

Eire, thinking of you going through this too. Hope you and your DH can come to a decision about ttc, it is very difficult. My DH finds the whole emotional rollercoaster stressful, trying for a baby,the joy when you get the BFP, worry that things will go wrong and heartbreak when it does. I know I have to try to see it from his point of view , he's making babies and losing them too but I think it's easier for men to be logical about it, I feel it more like a need rather than a choice.

Hello to everyone else

Irish, I do not know what to say to comfort you in terms of recurrent miscarriages. I do know I feel terribly for you and think of you often. You are right, of course, about partners' and husbands' anguish often being forgotten in the whole sorry mess. What an emotional rollercoaster. Wishing you peace x

Eire, I'm sorry your husband seems reticent to try again. I think this is a very natural reaction when our loved ones see us in pain and bleeding. I hope he changes his mind for your sake - I know how much you want this baby, just like Irish. My thoughts are with you. Keep talking on here x

FF, I feel that we have become merely bra sizes

Hello . Back from Whitby, lovely part of the world, and while to say I feel rested would be a lie of the highest degree, it was nice to have a change of scene and the kids enjoyed themselves. The 5am starts were rather 'challenging' though
I've not had a chance to read through yet but am thinking of you irish and eire. I've not experienced by any degree the level of distress and pain you're going through, but I am thinking of you and wishing you strength to get through these difficult times xxx
Will try and have a read through now, love to all xxx

Oh, I am actually crying now. There are no cute abbreviations for "crying in real life". Thanks for all the goodwill. It's true, the DH was very upset driving me to the hospital while I was in extreme pain, banging the armrest on the car door and trying not to scream. Yes, Irish, it is like a roller coaster- he was scared to even talk about "the baby" during the short happy period after BFP before MC, now here I am, full of optimistic hope that the "more fertile after an MC" theory is not an urban myth, while he (sorry TMI) actually withdrew the other night! Now I have tried to calculate when I ovulate, and think "tonight's gonna be a good night!"but he is scared to come near me...

Eire and Irish, so sorry to hear of your anguish. It is just such an awful time, and I know how it feels to have a DH who doesn't want to ttc again. Eire, my Dh did exactly what yours did, and I found that so hard. Like Irish, I also felt it wasn't a 'logical" decision to make, I felt a need to carry on ttc, it was a compulsion that I couldn't control. I also felt the only way forward, to feel okay, was to keep ttc. (And that's what I pretty well did whilst my Dh seemed oblivious to my cycle,and wouldn't use contraception, I carried on)

It's been a year since my second mmc and erpc, and though I've had one more pregnancy (that ended very early on,5-6 weeks), I have actually reached a much happier place, I don't feel the sadness I felt,and I'm even coming to terms with not having my last baby(that I was so sure was meant to be).

I know right now you feel raw and heart-broken, so hearing me say time will help, doesn't really help you right now. I just wanted to say you have my full sympathy because it is so tough.

Deige - welcome back. Glad the kids had a good time. Wouldn't it be nice to also have a week of relaxing without them? I know, it's a pipe dream, I dream of going to a resort somewhere where they have "kids clubs" to entertain and care for the little ones while I lounge by the pool, go sailing, snorkling or shopping...A girl can dream

Well, I'm 14 dpo(FF), or 13 by my calculations, and I know I'm not pregnant - I tested yesterday, not a whisper of a line, and all symptoms have subsided, so I guess AF will be knocking on my door soon. The sore boobs where there one day,and for the last three or four days have vanished, so I'm sure AF will be here soon. I think my LP may have lengthened after 30 days of super clean eating. I just completed a "whole 30", where I had nothing but vegetables,healthy fats,meat,eggs and a small amount of fruit. So I had no grain,dairy,sugar or processed food.Mostly I felt great,and lost over 8 pounds too. Perhaps it will have a long term effect on my fertility?A good effect hopefully.

So that was my last attempt at ttc I think. I'm not going to sabotage my OS holiday next July by having a newborn or being heavily pregnant, so that means no ttc until at least January. By which time I will be 46. So that's it,I think.

I still feel like this is my village, so I won't be too far away from the action, and will stay on the thread.

ooo, so much pain and fear on here at the moment. Hold tight to each other, ladies, and we will make it through together. Let's be gentle on ourselves, and our partners - we are truly putting ourselves through an emotional storm, because we all hope that there is a beautiful rainbow waiting for us on the other side. If you think about it, it is an incredibly brave thing to do... and we do have some lovely babies in the snug (diege, fireflies, lolfactor) to prove it is all possible!!

eire I hope that you and DH can talk about your fears and desires about ttc, and reach a situation which feels right for you both.

irishmammy my lovely. I am so sorry. I can't say anything to ease your pain, but please know I am thinking of you, and sending you strength and love.

knicky like somewhere I also recognise your fears. I was exactly the same. Both DH and I cried when we had a scan at 8 weeks when we heard the heartbeat. The sonographer had read my history and said "you've had a tough time of it, haven't you?" I am nervous at every scan now.

sparkly get that BBT, it will help a lot!!

golden are you sick of fancy chocolate bikkies yet? For me, I fear that would never happen...

Thank you to everyone who has been asking how I am. I am feeling a bit better as I have mentally broken the 5-week black hole down into more manageable parts. As Mia's birthday approaches on the 15th, it looks as though we will have the land for Mia's Wood by then, and will invite friends to come over for a picnic and maybe plant the first trees. Can't do birthday cake or Happy Birthday though - that would be impossible. We are then having a week's holiday at home to concentrate on DIY projects. My parents arrive early October, and we have had two positive reports which help us with Mia's inquest. I still have no idea how I will get through the date of her death. Yet we have already been through the worst...

actually welling up myself reading Eire's post and mias. Mias Wood - how lovely. irish i haven't been through it myself but i feel for you and there is good advice from hopeful there i think.

just came on here to say good luck today knickyknocks.

xxx