Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

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Shiny new thread - over here everyone

eire there is a very supportive section on MN about miscarriages in Body and Soul . I posted there daily earlier this year when i went through mine. So sorry you're going through this.

No positive news for me. AF got me.

hi golden yes much calmer thanks! I seem to have settled into it now. got a scan on the 3rd sept to see if my ovaries are quiet. then depending on where my donor is in her cycle Ive got to start tablets to prepare the lining. hope everyone else is well? very sorry about your news eire hope you recover soon xx

miasmummy wishing you luck and strength during this time. I can't imagine what it is like. I can understand that you are terrified though. You are clearly a pretty incredible person to have thrown yourself into all that Olympic volunteering with everything else going on.

irishmammy glad you are feeling a bit better - please feel free to write long posts AFAIC (as far as i'm concerned). You have been on an absolute rollercoaster ride.

eirehead welcome - so sorry about your MC. This is a good place to come.

xxx

ps great news tina x

Eirehead, I'm so sorry you're going through this. The reason I chose to have an ERPC is because, at 11 weeks, I spotted some brown stuff. Convinced it was nothing I went for a scan and they found my baby had died in the very earliest stages of pregnancy - there was only a fully-developed sac and placenta present. Between then and my ERPC I never spotted more than a bit of the brown goo. Imagine how long I may have had to wait for the real stuff to come away? I wasn't prepared to wait. I recently had an ultrasound scan to check my uterus and ovaries. Everything looked healthy and normal - including a nice thick womb lining. This assures me that the ERPC did nothing to put my fertility at risk - in fact, I feel happy that I had a good 'clear out', if you get my drift. Of course, other women will feel differently and have their own stories to tell. I can only tell you that my ERPC was quick, painless and has not compromised my fertility (according to the scan). Saying that...I have not had a whiff of pregnancy in the 5 months since

Irish, my thoughts are with you and your family. Your hubby sounds receptive to the idea of exploring what's been going on for you and I think that's really positive

Blackcats, bloody hell I'm sorry. Was it really an 'evaporation line' then?

Tina, you sound much better

Hippy, I echo your sentiments entirely about mother nature. Why do the statistics about us have to be so damned right? I wish I knew how many women on here have been successful and how many have actually given up TTC. I wonder, are we more likely to fall pregnant at 40 than 41? 41 than 42? Does it only really become heinously difficult at 43? (Zelda West says there's only a 1% chance each cycle for women of 43 as opposed to a 5% chance for a 40yr-old). 5% sounds shit to me! Thank goodness we can come here

I was also 6 or 7 weeks along, no sac. I have been bleeding a lot, and thought maybe a d&c would make it cease, then I could start trying again. Sorry- I am still getting the hang of threads- I tried to go back to the last page to respond to each of your kind thoughtful replies by name, but then all I wrote disappeared. Very tired- like a big weight is pushing down on my limbs.

Irish, thanks especially for the lengthy reply. I suppose I will wait (some more) to see what the EPU says.

eire I also had an anembryonic pregnancy (only a sac) before I had Mia, and ended up having a D&C. It was a day procedure, very easy and painless. I become pregnant with her 4 months later.

golden just remember that statistics don't always give the full story... they can be out of date, only include certain populations, and don't always give the background information. A useful guideline, yes - however, I suspect there are far more 40+ women trying to be pg than in the past, and far more 40+ who are successful in doing so than official numbers might say. There is certainly a very long list of women on the 40+ pregnant thread here on MN!

Mia- The EPU here is so rubbish that was unfamilar with the term anembryonic pregnancy till you used it just now! Also, no one told me not to use tampons or have sex while still bleeding (not that I would want to ) only learned this through MN- have been bleeding for almost two weeks now, and am starting to feel weak.

sorry meant to type that I was unfamilar...

IrishMammy big squeeze and sympathies for you. I admire your strength dealing with all your traumas. Keep telling us about it all if it helps. That?s what we?re here for.

MiaAlexandrasMummy well done on completing your Olympic volunteering. Hope your blisters have healed now! Would have loved to have been a volunteer too. Enjoyed watching the games on TV though, and we took the LO to see the torch passing when it was in our area. Wishing you all the best for the coming months. I know you?ll get through it ok ? you have such an amazing way of dealing with what life throws at you ? but sending you lots of strength to bolster you up and help see you through it. How?s the nesting/cleaning going? Have you got the toothbrush and bleach out yet?

Hi Italian! Hope all is good for you? I am a bit behind on your latest.

Now Gum - I reckon you know being just a bit peri-menopausal (if indeed you really are), isn?t enough to stop you conceiving.. Come on that golden egg!! Wow re your colleague with 14(??!!) kids. I think I would go mad with that number. But another one would be nice! My cousin became a granny at 40, when she was preggers with her 4th DC! So her DS has Uncles and Aunties the same age or younger! Funny!!

Hi and welcome onemore. No, have no idea on menopause info.

Hi also to Eirehead. So sorry to hear you are miscarrying and feel weak. No wonder. Is it lack of iron, along with everything else? What does the doc say? I hope you recover soon.

Hi Hippy glad you use your insomnia hour to keep up with us!! Hope you?ve been having a nice time during the good weather on the island. Was thinking of you the other day whilst driving towards Lymington for a quick dip in a lovely outdoor pool to cool off in the heatwave. There were huge bubbly clouds over the island. I am looking forward to taking baby FF for day trips to the island.

Oh, Blackcats I?m sorry AF got you.

Tina wow ? things sound exciting for you.

Well, I am starting to feel like the fog of late pregnancy and early motherhood is starting to lift. Baby and I are getting more of a routine, so I am starting to get more time to waste on Mumsnet. BTW, you all missed my subtle references to my bday last week. Am now 43 and proud of it.

I agree with MAM - the statistics are guff. Of course we need to put in a bit more effort at our age, but it is possible. A friend said something when I?d just discovered IVF cycle 2 had failed which really helped, even though a little crude. He said ?put it this way FF, if I was out on the pull and ended up with someone in their 40s, I?d defo use a condom. Different matter if they were 50+?! Charming, I know, but he meant well, and what was funny was I conceived a few days later!! And no, he?s not the father!!

I am feeling relieved as doc set my mind at rest today about post-cs conception. She said all the ?lumpiness? was perfectly normal and it would be fine if I conceived soon. I will prob wait until Christmas though as baby clearly loves BF so much more than formula. In any case, not sure that all the supplements I took last time will be any good for him.

Better go and do a bit of housework while baby still asleep. I?ll eat that jumbo choc macaroon first though.

Lol - where have you got to? Hugs to Diege, Angel, Jolls and everyone else. FF xx

I'm trying to catch up now I'm back from holiday. Irish, I'm so sorry about your MC, be gentle with yourself.
Welcome eire, sorry that you are going through an mc. I didn't have an ERPC when I MC'd at 11 weeks, also anembryonic, as I was advised I didnt need one, then bled for the next 3 months. I went back to the EPU several times & they re-scanned but I don't suppose they could do much else.But do go back to them or doctors, don't put up with it by yourself.

1000fireflies love your friend's style. lol! what a smoothie!

Sparkly, hope you had a good holiday.

MiasMummy & 10000FF, I think you're right about the statistics to some extent; it's easy to believe everything we read, however, it's worrying how many of us are suffering miscarriages. It feels like a curse.

DP has told me point blank today that he will not be having sex with me more than three days on the trot starting Sunday (I ovulate Tuesday). Am I being unreasonable to demand it tonight? The more sperm the better, right (according to Zita)? DP swears his sperm will be "runny, crap and not alot of it" by the time Tuesday comes. He strongly believes less is more (in terms of quality). He believes a 'fast' is required before then in order to build up quality and quantity Can I have some opinions about this, please? Those of you who've managed to get pregnant - can you remember the timing and abundance of?

I hope I don't sound frivolous posting about this subject in light of recent sad times. Am thinking of you both, Eire & Irish.

Sparkly - was your hol good? Where did you go?

Somewhere - indeed - isn't he a charmer!!! But heart in right place.

GG71 - he could be right. We only had one half-hearted shot at it when baby ff conceived.

Diege darling, what's on at the bistro tonight?

Thank you for the ongoing concern/good wishes. It does help to come on here and read your messages. No sign of a miscarriage starting, I never thought I'd be hoping for one to start. I go back to hospital next week but I presume I'm going to need some intervention. I suppose if I'd not had a private early scan I wouldn't have found out till Sept 3rd when my normal scan was due that baby had died so I'd still be blissfully unaware.
Goldengirl, we only ever set out to ttc( checked dates and planned etc) twice, in May and June this year and both times conceived (though sadly miscarried). We never dtd more than eod and because I had temp checked last time I know we definitely didn't dtd on the day of ovulation.We did the day before and day after.( I don't think my DH would cope with every day!)
I know that beats the statistics for conception in the 40's,though I know it doesn't mean that it necessarily would happen again so easily for us and even if it did we may MC again.

Hi Irish sorry to hear you're still in limbo with the m/c. I also had a mmc, and was given the option of medical management in hospital, or surgery - as the baby had died at 9+5 & two weeks later nature hadn't taken it's course. I know how hard it is getting through the days while you're waiting. Wishing you strength for the days ahead.

Goldengirl we don't DTD every day - neither of us could face it!! My "magic" formula is: DTD every 2nd day, starting after AF - use OPK's -then stop 2 days after OPK positive. It's worked for me 3 times so far & we're TTC this month.

Yes, the over-40 statistics are bleak - but that doesn't mean that, by a law of averages, it will surely go right at some point? Well, that's how I'm thinking - and my mindset is now to have low expectations & not expect things to go right. That way I won't get to disappointed.

Talking of DtD, DP has been told to get back from the rugby early as it's CD 10 & we need to get on with it!! Have hardly seen eachother all week so having to schedule, as ever - none of this romance lark!!

Evening . Sorry things are so uncertain for you irish - I suppose as you say there is something to be gained from having the knowledge before your scan would have happened, but that's pushing it by silver lining standards. Thinking of you - I was in the same position almost to the day 3 years ago.
Hi Gum - how are things with you?
Fireflies lovely to read your news, and wow good on you planning the next ttc journey. Yes, bistro is open and tonight the theme is 'end of summer' (sorry, but what it feels like looking our the window!) - so I'm having homemade pizza with large salad, plus cold potatoes, hard boiled eggs. A portion of skinny fries on the side. Eton mess for pudd and a jug of ice cold homemade lemonade.
Golden re: sperm, I think it's Zita who says that, while on paper every day is better (in the sense that only low sperm count indicates every other day) in terms of statistics there was actually only a minute difference in success rates between every other day and every day. From my own experience, it was every other day all the way which succeeded in my last 3 pregnancies. I personally go with the every other day if I were you - you don't want dh going off ina strop at the crucial time .
Off for a week in Whitby tomorrow - I am at the stage of thinking that the word 'holiday' is about as far removed from what I am going to be experiencing as is possible .
Love to all and see you when I get back!

OOOoooh. Pizza and salad please Diege, plus Eton Mess and a huge lemonade. Lovely. Thanks. Enjoy Whitby. xx

Pudding for me please! I love Eton mess - yum!!!

Thanks, FF, Irish, Diege & Cheese. Just managed to DTD in between the two episodes of Corrie, so I'll have some post-coital spotted dick, please

Enjoy your holiday, Diege...me and Cheese might be preggo by the time you get back

goldengirl that's impressive!!

Mr Cheese is still at the rugby - he knows he's on a promise tonight though!!

Hi Eire. So sorry to hear your news - and that you are in limbo. I miscarried at 5 weeks and didn't bother to see the doctor until the bleeding stopped. I knew I was going to miscarry as I did clearblue digital tests. The initial test after I missed my period had said 1-2 weeks. The second test after a few days said the same, when it should have said 2-3 weeks. I had pregnancy symptoms (big boobs and and nausea), so I wasn't too worried. Then I woke up one morning and had no symptoms whatsover. I did a test and it said 'not pregnant'. I waited for the bleeding to start (within 2 days) and when it was over I went to the doctor, who confirmed mc. She said that as I had bled naturally and seen a 'product of pregnancy' there was no need for a d and c. Frankly, I was relieved as I wanted to ttc straight away and was worried a d and c might mess up my cycle. Hope this helps. Big hug.

Thanks, lol. I spoke to mg GP on the phone, and from what she said, have the impression that our hospital will have me come in for hCg testing till it is zero, but will not do a scan, as they believe once it is zero, everything has passed. I would rather have a scan to double check that nothing is left. Panic has set in. Feel as though I should TTC soon, before AF, as I am 42 and have a progestrone (too low) and prolactin (too high) problem.

Sparkly- I am afraid I will be bleeding for ages, as well.

Golden- thanks for the response. I can see how a d&c helps one with a bit of closure.

Thanks, somewhere and blackdancing and hippychick. I wanted to join this thread as I feel we have a lot in common.

and onemoreforgoodmeasure- I think my experience is going to be like yours. I had to go back to the EPU for an hCg test this morning- it was 627 last Fri., so the midwife said that she expects it will be zero today. (But of course, I will not know till Monday) So I went to the twoeuro shop and bought 30 pregnancy tests for 15 euro and plan to do one every Friday till it is zero, then TTC