Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

onemore, yes think you're right - my GP was very frank in saying that I wouldn't be eligible for any support like IUI or IVF. Not sure if that was an age thing or because I have one DD already though.

somewhere hope things are going smoothly for you too. Have been thinking of you. PS get cracking on those profiteroles please! Yum....

Ok, bistro open! Welcome menu for onemore - as much as you can eat style buffet just for you
knicky, I was with your menu request up until the Bradley Wiggins bit . I'm afraid the server job is taken - he's a cross between Simon Cowell and Rafael Nadal so hands off so very sorry about that
somewhere Hmmm profiteroles, yes can do that. I have taken the liberty of ordering a few extra ones with coffee icing - is that ok?
I think we alll deserve a nice ice cold glass of wine with our meals tonight - the snug has been through a lot this week, and may we all raise a glass to members new and old in support of each other xxx

too late for Bistro as feckin usual...

Hi just wanted to send hugs to Irish, so sorry to hear your sad news.

Lots of cheese - yes think we fell off the bus same time.

Somehwere/ knicky etc - hope all is well.

Hi just wanted to send hugs to Irish, so sorry to hear your sad news.

Lots of cheese - yes think we fell off the bus same time.

Somehwere/ knicky etc - hope all is well.

Sorry not to namecheck but just want to say thank you all so much for the good advice,sympathy and hugs, I feel overwhelmed by it all.
It does make me feel supported to have such empathy from people who understand.In RL DH and I are trying to stay strong for each other and the kids and not many people knew I was pregnant. My family are great but they're in Ireland . It helps to "talk" here.
I feel a bit shocked I think,it all still feels a bit unreal,like a bad dream, and I seem to be on autopilot most of the time though when I'm on my own the tears come.
It is a good idea to put a decision on ttc on hold for now, I just need to try to get through this miscarriage , grieve for a bit and allow my body (and mind) to recover.
x

irishmammy my sympathies are belated, but nonetheless incredibly heartfelt. Just so sad and sorry for you. Glad that you and DH have each other, and that you are finding this group another layer of support.

onemore welcome, may your stay here be a fertile and short one, and may the friendship here sustain you.

I've finished my Olympic volunteering now, and while it was a truly memorable experience, my blistered feet are glad it's over. Bit scared about the next couple of months, though, as Mia's birthday, her inquest and the anniversary of her death all happen within a five-week period...

Irish so sorry.

Sending hugs to all the ladies.

I do hope you are all well and keeping good.

Hugs to Hippy, Miaalexandersmummy, Angelgeorgie, Twirly BB, sparkleysappire, Hopefulgum, Jolly, Diege, Somewhere, clickingtock , Lol, Elena, Knickyknocks, Tina, Marythersa, Blackcatdancing, Shandy, movelikejagger, gothinrecovery, tazpat, Mrscupcake, Clicking, Purple, somewhere, onemore, and all - and anyone I have missed.

Miasmum - what a lot of anniversaries within a 5 week period. Sending you lots of love and hugs now - hoping you are ok and that your little one is doing well. X

Hello Italian, nice to see you here.

Miasmum, that is an awful lot going on. Be sure to take extra care of yourself.Sending love your way.

Big wave to Hippy - how is everything going on the IOW?

All is well in Gumland. As usual quite busy, but I think that is good seeings it keeps my mind off you know what (ttc).

Having said that, after a very early ovulation, I'm now going to have a late one - it's day 15 I think, and temperature still lowish. So I really feel that I must be perimenopausal. Of course that doesn't mean an end to fertility, but I'm surely on my way. But as I'm not stressing over ttc, this doesn't faze me .

Last week a colleague's wife had their 14th, yes 14th, baby, a girl. Baby is fine and mum is 44. I may have mentioned her before.She suffered a couple of miscarriages, then her doctor put her on progesterone for the last two babies - at age 42 and 44, and both arrived safely. There's no proof that the progesterone did it, but perhaps it helped. It is their 4th girl (10 boys), so they said they are going back for more girls.Wow! They are a lovely couple,and quite religious,which I think is why they've had loads of kids. I admire them.She is so calm and he seems so young. It amazes me that they are also grandparents.

It kind of gives me hope that although it may not happen for me, there is still the possibility, so not exactly over ttc yet. However, this is the last month I'll actively ttc for a while, I'm not going to spoil our O/S holiday by being heavily pregnant or with a newborn on our trip.That happened last time and I ended up staying home, this time I really don't want to do that.

I hope everyone else is okay. Irishmammy, I'm thinking of you.

Miaalexandersmummy thinking of you are these anniversary times hit you. I am sure you will feel very affected by it all and maybe a bit exhausted. Please try and prepare yourself with plenty of sleep and healthy food so that even though these times will sadden you greatly, your body will cope with this tough time. Does that make sense? Kind of prepare yourself if you can? It will be hard I am very sure, but maybe in the midst of this time you can find some tiny bit of peace. Maybe talk to your lovely bump about the dear sister she did not know. Be especially kind to yourself.

I am thinking of you, my dear. I am so sorry that this is a tough time. God Bless you. I know it is hard to say that, maybe it means nothing to you, not sure if it does. Perhaps I can also also say, sending you my warmest thoughts for the future, and all the very good things that are waiting for you. It's a long tough road you are on and I just hope in some way we can help you through it.

Thinking of you.

Hi everyone, been checking in over the weekend. Didn't want to intrude, as a newby, at a time of difficulty. Thanks Diege for the welcome menu and to Mias...mum for the lovely welcome.

Hopeful that's quite a story! I need to learn more about signs and symptoms of menopaus so I can be more factual and less about freaking myself out. Anyone know any trustworthy links?

MiasMummy, I hope you find all the positivity and fortitude you need to get yourself through those dates ahead.

Onemore, welcome and good luck in falling pregnant soon. You might want to make enquiries with your mum about her menopause; these things can be genetic. Otherwise I wouldn't worry too much. Are you going to try charting your cycles? See fertilityfriend.com for details.

Irish, thinking of you lots and wishing for some peace of mind for you at this time. Let us know how you're getting on x

Hi Golden, thanks you! I've looked at FF but don't fancy taking my temp, gave it a try and thought it was too faffy. OPK's are still pretty useful to me though. I've had mid cycle spotting this month, which is not normal for me, and when I googled it I saw that it could be a perimenopausal symptom. Thought I'd align myself with the wise women on here!

hello all, thank you so much for all your kind words italian, golden, onemore, hippy, and hopeful. And yes, all the good wishes and prayers - and the intent behind them - do really help. It seems more bearable now I am saying out loud that I am terrified. Spending this week cleaning and clearing out, partly to regain some control over my life, and partly because of some early nesting instincts...

irish you are still in my thoughts. I hope the days are passing gently, and you are allowing yourself to feel.

Miasmum xxxx take care xxxx
Hi to all xxxx

Blackcats, do you have any (confirmed) happy news?

Tina, how are you coping since the injection? Are you feeling any calmer, love?

Hello. I am new to MN. I am miscarrying, and have never spent so much time on the Internet as I have these past 12 sad days, desperately seeking answers as one ominous symptom after caused me to wonder, "Am I losing this surprise baby?" The stories and chats here have helped me to make piece with my loss, and now I would like to join in. At 42, I thought I was all done having babies, but now this one has gone, I want another so badly. Could I ask, did anyone have a "natural" miscarriage, not followed by ERPOC?

Peace, I meant.

Oh EireHead, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. How many weeks were you? I had a natural mc at 11 weeks, the main dramatic event of it lasted 2 or 3 days, I bled for two months though, not heavily but it seemed to be fairly endless at the time. Why do you ask? I'd never been on MN or the internet much until my mc I was desperate for information. What about you?

Thanks, onemore. I was around 6 or 7 weeks along, when I started bleeding- 10 August. I had a bfp on 1 Aug., went to the doctor 7 Aug, had ten happy days unsuccessfully trying not to get TOO excited. My GP seems to think that our local EPU will not offer a d&c.

eire head ,so sorry to hear you're going through this too. I totally understand that longing to have another baby when you've lost one.
We too found we had a "surprise" baby on the way earlier this year ,knew there were risks at my age(44) but couldn't help making plans and getting excited. The whole family was devastated when I miscarried at 10-11 weeks.
You asked about natural miscarriage.
I started spotting for a few days but the night before my scan at the EPU bled heavily with clots and by the time I was scanned the baby had passed though there was still a lot of retained tissue. I was advised natural management was a good option and went on to lose a lot more within the next 3 days, then bled a bit for about a week. I had a rescan 2 weeks later and though I'd stopped bleeding was told there was still tissue present. Even though the bleeding didn't restart, when I was rescanned 2 weeks after that it had resolved.
We waited for one AF, tried again, conceived and lost that one at 6 weeks. It was another natural MC, I started spotting, was given an app at the EPU for a week later,went on to bleed a bit more heavily and with more pain than a normal period, by the time I was scanned the bleeding was down to spotting and the miscarriage was complete so no further treatment was needed.
We didn't wait long to try again, I ovulated 14 d after the MC started and I conceived again, but as you may have read above, the heart has stopped so I'm losing this one too.
I'm giving it a bit of time to see if I miscarry naturally again,the hospital booked me for a rescan next week but if I decide I want medical management or an ERPC the hospital can book me in for either before.
The lovely ladies on here (thank you all again!) have given me advice and I feel reassured that the surgery can be a straight forward and manageable option.(and if I do go to hospital a little white lie to the girls about a minor surgical proceedure is a good idea).
My reasons for waiting a little are partly that my youngest children don't know I was preg and I dont want to ruin the end of the summer hols for them by going into hospital and there's my slight worry about the possibility of surgery affecting my periods and my tenuous hold on my dwindling fertility, just in case we want to try again.
DH was adamant last week we shouldn't try again but a few days later saw an article on Hughes syndrome causing recurrent MC and suggested we look into it.
I think we need to get over this first and then get some medical advice/investigation. If we decide not to /or cant have any more I hope we can come to terms with it.

I really appreciate the ongoing concern and support from everyone on this thread,especially when I know a lot of other people are going through difficult times.
Miasmum, these anniversaries must be painful for you, hope you get through these next few weeks.

Sorry for going on and on, you can tell I'm not talking about all this in RL !

Hopefully you won't need anything further Eire. Because of the way my mc happened, like Irish, a couple of days of spotting preceeded it, but then it was full on for 3 days, I went to hopsital for my scan 2 days after that, I was still bleeeding heavily and cramping but not passing anything more substantial by then and I was advised to wait 10 days and take another pg test if it was positive then I would have had to go back for help, but I got the negative on the eve of the day I would've had to report back. It must be so awful, as you say, you get your hopes up, it's devastating stuff. I Hope you have some support in RL? And Irish my heart really went out to you when you wrote about not talking about it in RL. It's admirable how you and your OH are pulling together for the kid's summer holiday. It sounds like you are made of some tough, brave and loving stuff.

Eire - just to let you know I had a natural MC at 7 weeks (although when we had a scan at 6 weeks they could only see a small sac - so not really 7 weeks if you see what I mean). Anyway, I was fearful of pain but actually it was only like a bad period (I am used to bad period pains though because I have endometriosis and possibly it hurt less cos the pregnancy probably stopped very early.) My point is, it wasn't as bad as I'd feared, I know that no two mcs are the same but I thought I'd mention it cos you asked. I also had an EPRC 4 months before that and although it was a very emotional day, physically it was fine.

I am so mad at mother nature that she made our bodies this way - so sad that most of these mcs are probably down to old eggs. Us 40+ women are made of stern stuff.

Much love to all. Yes, I know it's stupid o'clock - I nearly always lie awake between 4-5!!!!