Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 10

[MoJangled]

Our new home, hope you all find me soon...

Dear Sunny I've just had a chance to properly read your update. I'm sorry it wasnt better news.

I didn't know Nhs policy on erpc (I was lucky I had cover AND that they agreed to pay when I really pushed them).But I'm sure you'll get good care and be well looked after.

I started to bleed quite quickly after I stopped all the meds, maybe within a week. And had a repeat scan a week later - which for me indicated I needed the op. Hopefully yours will be simpler and quicker do you can move on.

Sending you the hugest of hugs and thinking of you and dp.

Let us know how your getting on.

xxx

Weller great to hear you're doing well. And well done on the carefree nkie!!!

lucy crikey your fall sounds terrifying. But I'm glad that everyone is okay. Hope your tests put your mind at rest. Can't wait till you announce the arrival if or little one! Not long now!

(((( Sunny )))) Sweetheart. I was hoping against hope. I know exactly what you mean about needing to get on to move on, too. Really hope the next stage is quick. hugs to you xxx

Bugsy wow your body has its ways to make its views known. Think you should listen... to bed with you my girl!

How nice to hear some good stuff from the bumptastic preggy ladies, I need to hear about the good stuff...

So I got my blood test results. Borderline positive at 13.5 (not considered viable till 25). I was gobsmacked that it wasnt just plain negative and even had a rush of excitement, but of course the reality is that this is probably a very early miscarriage. I need to have another test in 2 days (small detail - cant do it locally so need to hop on a train to London wreaking havoc to weekend plans) to see whether the HCG levels have gone up. Trying to be positive but I think I've just graduated from not getting pregnant at all to not being able to hang onto it.

sunny so sorry to hear that news wasn't better. My heart goes out to you. You sound very together and I understand what you mean about having a plan. It somehow helps to shift focus from the hear and now.

lucy thanks for the link and what a day it sounds like you had. Important think is both your little ones are ok - you can't blame yourself for not catching him.

Well, drum roll, we are going with argc. Having been there i now have a much better idea of how quickly the costs will rack up but we are prepared to really give it our best shot. Was so prepared for all the negatives though so was plenty surprised after the appointment. So now it's a DNA frag test for Dh and monitored cycle for me and then assuming that and immunes fine we are good to start down reg. they want me to do long protocol as better for women like me with pco and apparently gives better quality eggs - bit nervous about side effects but as i said, weve got to try and give it best shot.

Sorry Lucy missed your post. Someone may as well put a knife in your heart when a child is hurt in your care, I know. But look at it this way - he was going to come out of the tree anyway and you slowed him down and cleared all those pots out of the way. The anxiety is completely understandable but given how preggy you are and therefore handicapped from dramatic goal saves I think you managed it really well.

Well done on your decision Mini it's the 'no regrets' option!

Pocket how's the bench? should be on implantation day around now? quick, watch gardening programmes or mining documentaries - anything with digging in vibes.

Hey all quick post & run as on way out - PCT Cov said no to moving funding out of the area, offered me an alternative fertilty centre in walsall which is 25 miles in the wrong direction, oh and they said I needed to go and get a referral from my current consultant, I can see how that conversation would go!

I think I am going to ring CRM and ask for another cons appt before the nurses one, or I might ring and have a chat with the nurses there and see what they think, I can't see how I can start IVF without an informed conversation about the pro's and cons of long/short protocol with my AMH/FSH, and surely thats not for the nurse to decide when we see them on the 11th July?

I'll catch up properly when I get back

sunny so sorry for your news take time I never have think that is why I am in a mess. Think that is rubbish re ERCP I was offered it on nhs, if that was truly the case the NHS would not have people having assissted conception handed back to them for community midwife care and delivery etc. your community midwives are responsible for care as are GP ( to a less extent) for all pregnant women including when it is a MMC. I would advise seeing GP and asking them to refer you to local EPAU. Was it private clinic who told you that info. Look on miscarriage . Org for info. Usually left for 1-2 weeks then rescan then if still products decision on op or continue waiting part of decision is size of products. But if waiting more than 2 weeks you may need antibiotics. Hopefully your body will be clever and be kind now progesterone has stopped. Some advice be near a toilet get BIG pads, maybe something to put on the bed. Rest get some pain relief in will advise if you want. Oh I have got so angry on your behalf re NHS.

weller good to see you and dp are having quality time. Was so wishing we would all have good news

scarlett which clinics does your pct commission from? Do they do west mid fertility prob not too convenient but have heard good things

lucy well done in breaking his fall, poor big toe. Think how wonderfully you did not what could have been. Mummy's instincts worked.

Me no improvement never been laid up this long so should count myself lucky. Now started with cough and cold temp still up hey ho cannot even face day time tv.

pocket how is the bench doing nice comfy cushions I hope.

Sorry not to personal post more happy friday

Sunny honey, how are you?

Scarlett sounds like another chat with someone at the clinic to address your worries would be a good idea.

Bugsy you poor love. Rest rest rest. I hope DH is a blur up and down the stairs with drinks, magazines and flowers.

Pocket how's the symptom spotting coming along?

Weller quality time indeed! I actually found myself thinking that if this cycle worked we'd never need to bother with nookie again, that's what this stuff does to your head, so it sounds like you're making the most of things.

I've got back out of bed, mind racing. I've been convinced this is a chemical pregnancy heading for an early miscarriage, because it's not showing up on preg tests (well, two almost imaginary lines on Sun and Mon followed by a digital BFN on Tues) and because the blood test on Thurs, a day later than I was supposed to take it, showed HCG 13.5 which is more typical of week 3 than week 4. So all the signs point to something having started last week and dieing away this week. But, boobs have started aching today (probably progesterone) and feel a bit queasy (probably nerves). Can't get the cruel sliver of hope out of my head that this might still work.

Hi Sunnyg I am so very sorry. I really hope you will be able to move on and will await news from you. Please do keep in touch, I really do feel terribly sorry for you.

By the way, I had what was then called a D and C after my missed misccariage 6 years ago. I find it hard to believe that the NHS can refuse to treat you, is it really that they will not do it, or is it that they think it is better for it to happen naturally? Thinking of you.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Miscarriage/Pages/Treatment.aspx

Mojangled Honey huge hugs to you and thinking of you.

Lucy I am so sorry to hear about unfortunate accident, I really hope you, baby and DS are fine now.

Sunnyg Nothing much happening yet, just waiting for September when we can go to an open evening together.

Thanks Pocket it is good to still be in touch with you all. I am happier, the big thing for me is that the desperation has gone. If adoption works out, great, if not, great. I ma getting on with work and life and am happy. I love my DD so much and now knowing she may be my only child I actually feel I love her more! I wish I could have gotten into this place earlier but it just did not happen!

HUGE HUGS TO ALL.

Mo honey. Best of luck to you today. i really hope you get good news. go mini mos go

Bugsy you poor love. Really hope you're on the mend v soon. in the meantime, just give in, let everyone run round after you and just rest. x

AFM i am syptom spotting like crazy. I've convinced myself i felt implantation Thursday/Friday (on two different sides go embies go), s feel sore (Mo, you mentioned that could be down to progesterone, i've not heard that before but then i'm realising how little i know). But best of all i'm feeling nauseas - and have been on and off for the last two days. is that even possible? surely its too early to have any symptoms!

alert. Did anyone see Eastenders? and Janine going into early labour - i was bawling my eyes out!

Big wave to everyone and happy Saturday.

xxx

I am so sad to hear of bad news on this thread.

Scarlett if I was you I would phone the Care clinic you had contacted and ask them if your PCT had given NHS funding to that clinic. If so, then I would challenge your PCT directly. I would also ask which clinics they do fund to, and try to find out by asking on Care's own forum or any other clinic if anyone else had got NHS funding to anywhere other than the one hospital they have offered you. That is if you not happy with the one hospital you have been given. Do you know how many NHS cycles you are entitled to? Where I live it was one.

sunnyg I'm just so sorry to read your news. I was really hoping you would get to see the little hb this week. Sounds crazy the way that they have responded to it all. I hope you get it sorted soon. Will be thinking of you.

mo really hoping that your LO is just a late implanter and will pick up speed now. How difficult this must be for you.

pocket great news about your embies - go embies go

Italian its lovely to read your updates when you feel so positive about life.

lucy how frightening that fall must have been, but it sounds like you're all ok. Something to laugh about in years to come

bugsy I hope you start to recover soon. Sounds like a nasty one!

minih I'm - of course - very happy with the care that I have received from ARGC, even if they drive me mad sometimes with their lack of organisation. Feel free to PM me if you have any specific concerns/questions. I'd strongly recommend logging into FF for the ARGC board where you can connect with others cycling at the same time.

weller quality time with DH sounds just the ticket. Good on you

badger and maple hope you are doing ok and not feeling too sick.

We had our 12 week scan yesterday with the nuchal screening. Gladly, it's all good news. Baby is developing and growing text book and we have very low risk for Downs and trisomy 13&18. In fact, she said my risk is the same as a 15 year old - that put a big smile on my face. I treated myself to a new pair of shoes and some maternity clothes and have started making the phone calls this morning, sharing the news. I know it's a long way to go still, but I will try my best not to worry too much and just enjoy the ride now

Scrummy fantastic news, huge milestone reached in style!

Italian I need to aim for the place you are, ur a brilliant role model. So pleased ur feeling so strong and sorted.

Pocket your symptoms sound really hopeful. Go go mini twinki pockets! When do you test?

We have our results - I've lost it. HCG had dropped to 5.8, so basically an early miscarriage just held off by the drugs. We made it a nice day out to Harley street and then playing in Regents Park, hiring a rowboat and lunch in a posh cafe, now heading back in train with DS sparko in buggy, and I'm holding it together till I can get home and take a bottle of wine into the bath with me this evening.

mo so so sorry to hear that x

Scrummy so happy about your update and scan. Have just welled up in public. I am so pleased for you

Mo sweetheart. I'm sorry. I was so hoping for better news for you. Thinking of you and dp. Big hug honey. X

Mo so sorry to hear things didn't go better. Thinking of you.

Scrummy I bet you're glad you can start to tell people now - what a milestone! I hope my scan goes as well as yours. 2 weeks and counting...

Mo I'm so sorry. Can anyone tell you why it happened? Did you have your immunes tested before this round? I can't remember. It really is your turn to have some good luck now.

Scrummy that's great. Your medication will hopefully be reduced a bit now too. Have you had to have iVIG again or are your immunes behaving? ARGC actually get even more disorganised the more pregnant you get. It's kind of exasperating, but in an odd way reassuring that they don't think you need such urgent attention anymore . Maybe see you on the FF pregnancy thread!

pocket symptoms sound promising. Long may they last! When do you test. Hope it's soon because everything's crossed and that could be a problem if I go into labour soon.

Otd is Wednesday! Blood test booked for first thing. Should know early afternoon!

mo I am so sorry for your loss it is rubbish isn't it. Glad you had a family time today and here is one from me . Thinking of you .

scrummy that's fantastic news so very happy for you.

pocket sounds promising but stop no symptom spotting allowed it will drive you crackers but you know that. It has come round quick but I think that is due to the last week being odd.

Hi all

Have just sat and read back through the last few days and what intense highs and extreme lows there have been. Makes me think of what mo said (at least I think it was mo) about how amazing we are to take on this challenge. I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you mo and sunny, sending you lots of hugs. Like everyone else has said, you need to take time to grieve and then start to think about where you go next. Mo my hcg was 14 I think my first time round and the outcome was the same as yours. I know you've had several cycles - has this happened before? My consultant said to me probably just wasn't to be but also suggested immunes could be relevant

Amazing news from scrummy and all the other pregnant ladies. So great to know it can be done

Bugsy are you feeling any better yet?

Pocket fingers, toes and everything crossed for weds.

Scarlet hope you get somewhere with the pct/funding issues. Another consultant appt might be a good idea. Is there a different one you could see at that clinic?

Italian you are so kind and supportive of everyone on here, always taking the time to offer wise words and ideas. Am so glad you are feeling in a good place.

Sorry for anyone missed - that's the extent of my memory!!

AFM, am on my way after long appt at the lister on wed (and lots of stress after the local hospital lost all my blood test results). Having prepared myself for AMH to get worse it had actually got better - from 1.9 to 5 - rather miffed but also glad it's not worse. 4 days into down reg and feeling ok, a bit tired and emotional but nothing too bad. Had to be brave and do my injections on my own as DH was away with work - i made sure I milked that though and got chocolate from him.

X x x

Pocket I am SO excited for you - roll on Wednesday! I am crossing everything for a mini Pocket-toto or Pocket-tina for you :)

Mo I'm so sorry to hear this cycle didn't work for you. It must have been really tough not knowing for certain. I think I remember you saying you feel as though you've graduated from 'not being able to get pregnant' to 'not being ale to be pregnant for long enough'. I would call that progress and all the more reason not hold on to hope. I'm glad you were able to get some treats in yesterday. How are you doing today?

Lucy I'm so sorry to hear about DS' fall but so pleased it had a happy ending and you're both ok. Must have been a real heart in the mouth moment for you.

Sunny lovely, if only I had a magic wand...how are you today? Any more updates on your plan? I totally get how important it is to start formulating a plan even if it's not one that will be accompanied by immediate action. We are all here with you and I, along with everyone else will be shouting from the rooftops when the plan works and we get some really amazing Sunny shaped news on here!

Talking of amazing news - Scrummy - wooop woop!!!!!!!! What a fab milestone.

Badger how are you doing? How are the symptoms? Here's hoping the next 2 weeks fly by for you - must be good to be in double figures week wise?

Mini I have only ever heard amazing things about ARGC - exciting times and I wish you all the best over the coming weeks and months.

Weller Good to hear that all is going well on the nookie front! I'm so embarrassed to say this and it's probably way tmi but I'm pretty certain we conceived after a Sunday night of passion (just 8 days after IVF BFN - my cycles are mega short) and well, let's just say, that for the first time in years we ahem, did it twice...so there you go - double orgasm ladies - it's the way to go!!!

Chicken grrrr to the hospital. It really frustrates me that hospitals can be so lax. I know these things happen but still...on the positive glad to hear that down reg is going okay. It's such a positive step just to be on the IVF train - fingers crossed for you.

Bugsy so sorry to hear you've been ill - that's not far. Have you got any more holidays coming up anytime soon? Or any treats planned?

Waves to everyone else and sorry for anyone I've missed. Still loads of news on the thread to catch up with by the looks of things.

AFM - 12 week scan on Thurs - starting to get nervous now...stakes seem so high. Just keep thinking there must be a trade off of sorts for me actually getting pregnant. i.e. how could I be lucky enough for everything to go smoothly from hereon in? So just need to put thoughts of Downs aside and take each day as it comes. Not helping that I have been sleeping very poorly so finding it hard to get things in perspective. However I know how very lucky I am and that this is nothing compared to what I went through with IVF, so no more moaning from me. DH's birthday today so we're going to have a nice day.

Happy Sunday all! xxx

Thanks for your lovely kind words and support, ladies. Yesterday was pants but bizarrely today I actually feel quite optimistic (remote possibility, since we were out in a restaurant when I got the news yesterday, that I've just put it in a box and shut the lid, to erupt in a few weeks while talking to my boss or dropping DS at nursery or in supermarket queue). It's our wedding anniversary, 5 years, and we've spent all but 6 months of that time locked into infertility shennanigans. Yes, Maple and Lucy , I did have immune support this time - intralipids, clexane and steroids. I know I should feel glad that something happened at all, but I think that my body is so hostile to embryos that even with all the extra immune stuff they can barely get a toehold. We do have 3 frosties so will progress to the 8th&Last Cycle, but I need to find out whether there's anything more to be done as I suspect at the moment the poor things would be doomed. Starting to think it's a bit immoral to keep putting embies in, which would stand a chance of life in a non-toxic body, only to die in mine.... Hmm, what was I saying about feeling optimistic?

Mojangled so sorry it has turned out like this. I am not sure how you can get to the place I am in! It has taken a long time. I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me. At times it seems to help and at times it does not! Having my wonderful DD helps, and I know you have your lovely DS. I guess three or four things kind of happened all at the same time, which helped, namely....

Our money ran out
My husband's patience to keep doing this ran out
I got fed up with being stuck with needles
I moved out of whole fertility thing -began to feel bit more happy & accepting

So whatever is next for you, I just hope you will feel at peace with it all. I guess I really came to the conclusion after all the drugs I was on that this was not going to happen for me a second time. But I am mightily happy it happened the first time and DD is now in dining room making soup with egg, flour and she's not going to tell me what else!! So better rush in and avoid a gastronomic catastrophe!