Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 10

[MoJangled]

Our new home, hope you all find me soon...

Hey Ellie. Good to have you join Mo and me on the bench.

Hugs to you Mo

Bugsy my lovely, how are you doing? Thinking of you and sending a hug.

Sunny how are your bits?

Badger glad you found us. And exciting news about your scan date - bet you can't wait to see the little one again?

Scarlet well done on making progress so quickly.

Weller how are you my love?

Maple are you back from hols? How is your bump?

Euro sorry I can't help as my experience is so different but hopefully someone will be along in a bit who can.

So I've spent day one with my legs on the air (accupuncturist recommend to encourage blood flow to my uterus). Wow daytime tv is boring. I've watched so much rubbish today. Thankfully I have a friend visiting tmw and another on Thursday.

Hi pocket keep those legs in the air and look after yourself.
I'm having a bad day today. DS asked this morning if the 'baby thing' doesn't work next time would we foster or adopt as that means he can have a brother or sister and we get to be mummy and daddy. Bless him. Been making me think about it all day, then one of the girls that works for me bringing baby in and telling me she is not coming back after mat leave and then major road rage on the way home!! Early night for me and tomorrow will be a better day.

Waves and chocolate boobs to everyone

mo darling I've just seen your post. I REALLY, REALLY hope that the blood test tells a different story. I'm not going to say anymore until that fat lady has sung. I send you a thousand hugs oxox

A big thank you to all for all of your advice re the joys of thrush and of course your kind thoughts over the past week. Got some cream and that has definitely eased it whilst also now only back door! But really just hanging out to get till Thursday's re-scan. I know in my heart that it's all over. Sometimes you just know. I think also when the doc calls in the clinic director and about 5 other nurses to all stand and squint at your scan it's not a good sign. But if there is a miracle hb, wherever you all are, you'll certainly hear me jump for joy.

Pocket and Bugsy especially thank you for all of your advice. I would like to have the d&c/ERPC scheduled for asap. For me I know it'll help me to move forward. Still some teary moments, but each day is getting better.

Miscarriages are horrible, but I know, and so many of you unfortunately know here how common they are. We aren't the first and sadly we won't be the last. But there is often a story out there sadder then our own. I met up with someone on the weekend who's now 10 weeks pregnant. Of course amazing news. Little did I know it was even more amazing as just 8 months ago she had a baby boy that died at 2 days old. He was born at term and she had had a very normal healthy pregnancy. He died due to malpractice with the midwife at her birth. During the labour he became very distressed and the midwife did not not monitor closely enough or react fast enough. He was born brain dead and then died 2 days later from complications. They are going through a terrible legal case right now. Not to try and get any money. That won't bring him back, but to try and stop this midwife from practising. She was only suspended for 8 weeks. You can imagine the tears were flowing.

So we'll all get up, and get back on the horse and do it all again.

Bugsy how are you my dear? How are immunes investigations going?

Pocket you keep those legs high my dear. Well for as long as you can. Do you know your OTD is my bday! Good vibes!

badger I bet you just can't wait till that 12 week scan. That will be such a huge milestone. We are here for hand-holding till then.

Scarlett I hope you can get your records asap. I'd definitely not waste any time. When I got my records from my previous NHS clinic it was a nightmare. I had to fill in forms and then they said it'd be about 2 weeks. They legally had to do it in 40 days. I think in the end I got them in 48 days and that's only because I started stalking. So go forth and do it asap I say. I hope it's easier for you.

sorry for long post. big hugs to all oxox

Hello lovely ladies.

I come bearing and to apologise for being absent for so long.

Have managed to catch up on most of the events since my last post and i'm so sorry to hear bugsy and sunnyg's sad news.

I took a bit of a break from it all as nothing was happening appointment wise so I haven't been dropping in as much as just wanted to switch off.

Welcome to all the newbies - I hope you're stay here isn't long but if you do ride this rollercoaster for a while I couldn't think of a nicer thread to be.

For me, we've had our initial appointment at ARGC today. Some of you may remember I was a bit disillusioned with Create at our follow up appointment and given Create planned on changing nothing from prior cycle was a bit concerned that 'nothing changed' would mean 'bfn again'. Still a bit uncertain whether to go with ARGC - stats are amazing and Dr we met was very impressive, but its about twice as expensive and they want to do a zillion tests and more drugs. But then with the stats being almost twice as high arguably its equivalent to two cycles at Create. I think I'm going to sleep on it and go with my gut feeling over the next few days.

Hope you are all well and hugs to all.

Pocket GO GO GO

sunnyg My dearest sunny you are so kind and I am so sorry for this terrible shame. Will you try again. Were there any frozen embies or would you try a new cycle? Thinking of you my dear,

Mojangled I am so very sorry .... but there is still hope.

starlett thinking of you.

Euro welcome and welcome back mini.

Hugs to all and baby dust and chocolate boobs

Well done Scarlett for taking charge so fast.

Pocket keep those legs up and suck up the crapness of daytime TV! My guilty obsession TV under such circumstances is the childbirth docus on Home and Health - can only watch them incessantly while cycling but they somehow hit the spot. Just make sure the shed key is under the sofa cushion before you get settled in...

Good luck with your decision Mini . I think if I could go back in time I'd give ARGC a go.

Sunny what a story. My heart goes out to those poor parents, I wonder how they're managing to keep going. When I hear things as awful as that I never know whether to feel guilty for being sad about less dramatic things or whether the perspective that it could have been worse helps with moving on... You're sounding fantastically centred and I hope the next couple of days are as good as possible for you. Sounds like we might both have either a crap Thursday or a miracle Thursday... hey ho.

Weller you deserve a medal (or at least a big glass of wine) for getting through the day. How are things? I also had a very sweet colleague bouncing in today to say she's pregnant, did manage to be genuinely pleased for her but did have a cry on the train later.

Italian , been thinking, we have 3 frosties but I'm thinking that if a fresh cycle with added kitchin sink hasn't worked (and I know fat lady's under shed arrest still), a FET would have a lower chance, so I probably also need to start exploring the adoption option. Any tips on where to get started?

xxx

Mojangled I am not sure that frosties have a much lower chance, I would certainly give them a go. Have you had your immunes tested? I can't remember. The best place to start is to get in touch with your local authority social services and ask if they can send you some literature about adoption and also to take a look at their website to see what they say. Also try and read a bit on message boards at adoption UK or here on mumsnet. Adoption UK may make you a bit sad and make it all seem very uphill so maybe wait before reading. BUT it is early days and social services will probably not formally follow up on you until 6 months or maybe 5 months after treatment. I would also recommend some councselling to get your head in the right place. Most places would say you needed to be finished with fertility treatment. It is very early days so be nice to yourself and take some rest before deciding too much.

I am coming to the conclusion that if we only have one it is not so bad!!! I feel relaxed and happy, when i am not stressed and sad! But stress is more from work or lack of sleep than fertility at moment.

Do take a breath and talk to DH. Your little one is still small. Whatever you do, stay in touch if helps and all best wishes. Helen

sunnyg so sorry to read your sad sorry of the couple with a poor baby who died. I hope the pregnancy will go well and that their baby will be born safely and that they will get help and comfort dealing with the tragic loss of their first little baby.

Wise words Italian thanks xx

Weller hon sorry you had a not so good day yestersay. this journey is so hard - whether you have little ones already or not, its just so tough. Hoping you have a better day today. x

Welcome back Mini good to have you back. I've only ever heard good things about argc - many of the girls on this thread speak v highly... good luck with your decision.

Thanks Italian its great to have you keep an eye on us. You sound in a very happy place which is great.

Mo and Sunny sending loads of positivity to you both that you get better news tomorrow. xxx

Big wave to everyone

Sorry for all the sad news. Mo and sunny keeping everything crossed (quite easy as am resting in bed) hope there is good news tomorrow but sometimescwebjust know.

Pocket yeh for 2 on board.

Scarlett yeh for likely change care nott def do nhs for east midlands so there should not be a problem.

I am on 3rd day of storming tonsillitis throat not too sore but coated in pus temp headache etc. 48hrs and antibiotics are doing nothing. Went to work for a few hrs but now back in bed. Think my body is just saying rest relax etc

No fair Bugsy. Sorry you're poorly. Yes stay in bed and rest yourself from head to toe. May I recommend the real housewives of OC and NYC - itv2 daytime tv at is best/worst!

Real housewives is a total guilty pleasure of mine

Only just found you all! I just kept looking at the old thread for ages and wondering why there were no new comments (like an idiot thought everyone must be on holiday or on a come down after the jubilee!) - SUCH a numpty!! I blame pregnancy brain.

Bugsy and Sunny - I am so so sorry to hear your sad news. I can only echo what everyone else has said. Hold on to hope and keep strong. I think you're both amazing and this is just so bloody unfair.

Mo any news? Thinking of you...

Pocket How are you doing? I'm struggling to catch up with everyone's news...did you have ET earlier this week? Badger & Scrummy* How are you doing?

Chicken I agree with Mo - I might think differently if it was post ET but before EC sounds fine. Oh - and welcome - no more lurking!

I'm sorry for the lack of proper personals - need to read back through so I can figure out where everyone is - I'm not kidding you, MS and exhaustion is giving me the memory and attention span of a 100 year old.

AFM - all good. I have a bump!! 11 and a half weeks today and 12 week scan next Thursday. Had traumatic midwife app where I found out I've put on half a stone in 2 months - must be the new pizza, chips and cake diet. They are the only things I can eat and I've gone from being mega healthy to...a diet that I never would have imagined myself eating. But there you go - if my body throws up broccoli and welcomes cake, what can I do!!!

Lots of love to you all and will be back over the w/e for proper catch ups. xx

OOOps sorry - have only just realised there were lots more messages in this new thread - apols for missing anyone out. Back to the drawing board to do my homework

maple good to hear from you. yeh to bump and cake.yes all things sweet do help

Dear Moand Sunny fx for better news today xxxxxxxxx

Maple yes FET on Monday. Now on 2ww.

Scarlet

Hi maple! I kept checking the old thread and being confused so you are not the only one. I am 9.5 weeks today so blame the pregnancy brain too...

Scarlett and Pocket I Sky Plus Real Housewives - is that worse?! (Housewives of Beverly Hills it is also on Bio on a Monday night...)

bugsy I hope that you are feeling a little bit better today. Ice lollies are my go to thing when I get tonsillitus. Take it easy.

Mo I think that the the rate for frosties might seem lower because of the ones which do not survive thawing but if you have ones then do, then my feeling is that they must be hardy little buggers to have survived fertilisation, then freezing, then defrosting so should be top notch. Despite the potentially lower percentage headline rates we have definitely decided that FET is the next stage for us if this current bean doesn't stick.

eurochick How are the ovaries doing? I got twinges at various stages of my treatment but just took it as things happening!

Must dash, waves to everyone else!

maple sweets I am thinking of you and hoping so much you've had better news today.

Unfortunately no good news bulletin from me I'm afraid. As suspected re-scan showed no hb. Looks like it stopped developing btwn week 6 -7. I believe missed miscarriage is technical term. Also apparently not allowed to have ERPC on nhs. Or very unlikely as they prefer natural. At first very angry about this, but after a lot of explaining I think I understand more about natural and perhaps why it's good to give my body a chance to do it's thing. That's if it does. I think many end up having an ERPC eventually and if that happens that'll be a double suck. Will try to get in to see GP asap to see what she says. I hope we can come to an agreement that if it doesn't happen naturally within certain timeframe (clinic said a month, that seems like an eternity to walk around waiting for it to happen) they'll agree to ERPC. I can of course have it done privately, but that'll be between 1500 and 2000 pounds! Money we don't have right this second and besides I think I'd rather put that towards the inevitable future treatments. So it sux, big time. But what can you do. We've of course began slowly to talk about future options, but just talk at this point. The earliest we could start again is September/October and that's if cycle returns to normal pretty swiftly. So we have time, and the last thing I want to do is rush into any major decisions, both physically and mentally. But I suspect in the near future we'll begin to form a plan, cause for me, forming that plan is part of the recovery, part of moving on, even if I can't start that plan for some time.

Okay good to get that off my chest! Sorry for long ramble.

A big hello and hug to weller. Hope you are feeling better today my dear.

Pocket how goes those legs in the air?

Bugsy sorry to hear you have tonsillitis. That's not much fun, especially with all you are going through. Wish you a speedy recovery.

mini any more thoughts on ARGC? I've got the application already for a consultation. Will give myself a week or so but am thinking of sending it off. I have no idea how'd we afford it, but at this point I want to consider all options. Even if it's just consider. You can't ignore those results though. And many ladies here to attest to those.

Italian what's news with you my dear? How are things on the adoption front?

Maple, scrummy, badger and lucy all the pregnant ladies (did I get everyone?!) love to hear your updates. Gives us all hope.

big waves to everyone else and big hugs of course oxox

Sunny sweetie. xxxx

Sunny I'm sorry your news wasn't good. I understand your need to plan 'what next' as part of your recovery. I would be the same. Trying to look optimistically at what was a shit thing to happen, you got pregnant. You can do it again and it'll stick.

For you and mini considering ARGC, I'd say the expense is massive and the time/emotional commitment is huge too. But they get undeniably the best results and I wouldn't hesitate in recommending them to anyone. Did you see the article about him in the Evening Standard the other week?

www.argc.co.uk/newscentre.html

Mo I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. It's not fair. How many frozen do you have? Will you have any more tests done/do anything different?

Pocket thinking of you on the bench and keeping everything crossed for you.

Bugsy hope you're doing OK and that the tonsillitis is better.

I've had a funny few days. I'm 35 weeks now, so getting ever closer to D Day. The baby is measuring huge and I have 'too much' amniotic fluid according to the hospital, so am having more tests and scans to make sure all is OK. Then yesterday, DS was climbing a tree, which he decided was too high for him. He dropped into my arms and I caught him, stepped backwards, tripped over some terracotta flower pots, came crashing to the ground (smashing many more pots on the way) somehow managing to land on my bum, with my feet caught under me, and managing to drop poor DS on his head on a concrete path. I took him to the drs and thank goodness he is fine, barely a graze to his head, but I felt and feel so guilty. I spent all last night replaying my dropping him and barely slept a wink. Baby is moving around fine and seems completely oblivious to what was going on, so that's good, and my main injury was to my big toe, so it could have been much, much worse. Just felt very shaken by it and it struck me how things can happen in just a moment of bad luck/lack of concentration whatever. Still, I was lucky this time so I must shake this anxious mood off.

Hi to everyone else, sorry for not doing more personals but I do pop on regularly to read what's going on x

sunny I'm sorry I had my fingers crossed that it would turn out differently. Please let yourself be sad and angry and whatever else as if you try and get on with it too quickly it will still hit you afterwards. Thinking of you
DP and I have been having lots of loving and normal stuff and I had almost forgotten what it feels like to be having nookie without worrying about timing or injections. As a result feeling much better today