Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

[Ellypoo]

Hoping this thread brings us all luck and hope xxx

blue I would try.

Thanks Split, whatever and Angel

I remember from earlier we were very close dates whatever - though I think our dating scans may have put us a little further apart than we started.

Thing is I'm now packing a bag with no baby stuff in it.

Blue and Whatever you sure it's not hayfeaver? Might be a silly question but some people are only allergic to certain types of pollen and it passes within a few days but can be annoying all the same.

Blue my Dr's has a sign up in the surgery atm "appointments are for one person only", depends how funny your surgery is - mine is pretty unhappy about trying to do that, not saying don't try just be aware - anyway can't you self certify for 7 days anyway?

Well just came back from doctor, Ella has a throat infection and so do I (but not as bad) I spoke to her at end of appointment and she took her time to listen to me, and realised how low I'm feeling, she did say I should have booked an appointment, but didn't make a fuss about it.
She was very sympathetic and empathic and realised that the dates of Sterre's pregnancy and this one are very similar and that it must be a tough time for me. I cried loads as well and she said that if I still feel this bad after my 20 week scan I should consider counselling. I told her she was the first doctor in a year who offered me that.

((hugs) blue - I'm so pleased you went to the Doc and that she was sympathetic and helpful. Are you signed off for a couple of weeks now as well? Does your Docs have a counsellor attached to it that they can refer you to? My doc offered it to me at my 6 week check, but the lady who does the counselling at my surgery is the mum of my primary school BF, and I virtually lived at her house for about 8 years when I was little, so I don't want to go to see her. Poor E as well, I hope that she gets better soon. And at the horrible woman at your after school club - she was completely out of order anyway because you hadn't done anything wrong, but even more so after you had told her the reason why. Can the hospital bring your scan forward at all so that you don't have to wait as long?

fan - how exciting about your kittens!! Glad you are feeling less rubbish now too.

((hugs)) wtw - I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, I can't offer any support really, but just try to take each day at a time - easy for me to say, I know.

Oh trickle, that must be so scary - I'm sure they are monitoring you & baby really closely.

Sooo glad it's Friday - am absolutely shattered. Weather doesn't help, does it?!

How is everyone else doing?

oops I just see I never finished what I was going to write! Yes doctor has signed me off for 2 weeks, as she was worried about my mood and because of my anxiety. She gave me a leaflet about the counselling and said I could self-refer myself.

trickle hang in there! we're all here to hold your hand! glad they are monitoring you so well!

wtw people don't seem to understand that a new pregnancy makes us feel like this... they are just so happy and everyone keeps on saying that everything will be ok! But even doctors can't promise us that can they?

Elly thank you! Bless, E has just fallen asleep on the sofa whilst eaten lunch, I have the cat curled up next to me and watching the Formula 1 practice session, waiting for DH to come to have a big cuddle.
Feel a bit better now I know I'm going to be off for 2 weeks and can just relax... (secretly wanting to buy a Kindle I was planning on getting with my birthday money in August, but will have to ask DH whether we can justify getting it now before I have the money)

Ooh - I really want a kindle! Have to wait until we sell the house though, so may never get one at this rate :(

blue so glad to hear you had a human being and not a jobsworth :) sorry to hear both you and E are ill, I have a kindle and I really like it. Loads of free books and really cheap ones - like taking your bookshelves with you. Sounds like two weeks to concentrate you and your family are a bloody good idea. As for the woman at the after school club I wouldn't worry, anyone else would be horrified at her reaction to you, as well as really really nice people volunteering can seem to attract people like that too.

I'm currently avoiding most people I know as how do I answer 'and how's baby... bet your excited blah blah blah" Twas bad enough before , but I think there are parts of the grieving process you don't do till you are pregnant again and they can't be avoided. With Sproglet we didn't even know there was a problem till it was too late at 42 weeks, so I've been luckier than everyone else that up to this point I havn't reached any date that was scarey. Have phoned my local Doula project and they are getting moving on placing me with a Doula ASAP just incase, and I have volunteer training tomorrow and Sunday for most of the day so am hoping to not be left too much time to think (though I'm probably going to have to field those preganancy/bump questions :( )

Glad you got to speak to an understanding doctor Blue 2 weeks off work sound like a good idea. Poor Ella hope she is feeling better soon - ice cream for sore throat perhaps Go easy on yourself.

Trickle were you ever given a reason why Sproglet died? Other people's reactions are hard to deal with sometimes. A doula sounds fab

I'm feeling a bit like you did at 30 weeks split my heads not really in work mode but I really want to save the time for after so have no choice but to keep going. Although i've done a lot of driving around to see different clients today and found my pelvis was getting achy using the clutch/brake so might speak to my boss about minimising the amount of driving towards the end.

Blue- im glad you are having some time off work. I hope Ella feels better soon. I LOVE my kindle, it comes everywhere with me!

Wtw- I had spd with my pregnancy, it bloody hurt! Hope it's not too bad for you.

Trickle- Doula sounds fab! I hope everything is fine and baby stays tucked up inside you for a while longer.

wtw no, no known cause and we had full examination, let them take everything they possibly could to look at - then this mysterious ultrasound on wednesday, no forewarning they were going to do it, wasn't part of the care last time. It was specifically looking at the cord and the blood flow/transfer between placenta and baby. I'm beginning to wonder if it's been suspected as to being the cause, Sproglet was small - but not clinically small at 5lb 13. This baby is growing well - and without that scan no one would have been any the wiser as yet again everything seems normal. CTG monitoring was stopped early as there was so much movement - more than normally, but this one does that when there are things pressing on the bump or new noises.

Have you thought about trying to get a refferal to an antenatal physio, they can give you a support belt that really helps and I think with other people (they arn't allowed to touch me during pregnancy) they can do manipulations to make sure you are aligned. Sometimes for me the belt is the only reason I can sleep, it keeps me stuck together, well worth getting.

Thanks blitzy me too

blue I am quite horrified at that woman's behaviour!! Whatever happened to Christian charity and kindness... my goodness. Think you have done the right thing in seeing the doctor and getting signed off.

Like many others here, and as I have expressed before, I have so much fear about this new pregnancy. And Mia's death, as terrible as it was, does not mean my life will not hold other sadness in the future... but then I kept thinking about this perspective, and I have realised that I don't want Mia's influence on my life to only be about fear and sadness and darkness. She means so, so much more to me than that - she is all good things : love and joy and absolute happiness, and I owe it to her to concentrate on the positive, wonderful things in life. So - if anyone else would like to join me in this path in honour of your own beloved angel children, I'd welcome the company... xx

wtw I had a pregnancy support belt, I bought it on line it was the best thing I have ever bought. Also I had one of those massive pillows to sleep with and I found that if I was supported at night then I didnt ache as much during the day.

Miasmum I will join you, Fi, she has changed our lives for the better, she was Our golden child who brought us closer together, and has made us appreciate our lives and how we use them. She brought us joy while she was with us, we produced a beautiful baby, who will always be our baby.

blue so glad you got some time off and a sympatic doc. I hope E feels better soon.

Miasmum I agree with you when I m not fragile ( like the other day!!) I realise my Georgie did / bought so much hope & joy... She raised over £1500 for her delivery suite , made me realise just how good my family are, caused me to sever all connections with my MIL from hell ( haven t spoken to her since Dec 10) , made me appreciate how fab our friends are, & make me realise just how lucky we are to have had our Georgie... Xxx
She educated & continues to as I always speak to the student midwives at my clinic with regards to my experiences & if it ever gets published!!! I have written a chapter about Georgie in a book ....
I, too have a kindle but another gadget I rarely use!!! Found it very useful to take on train journeys, holidays etc...am awaiting the opportunity to borrow my friend's copy of " fifty shades of grey" was sold out everywhere here!!! Everyone reading it at work , my mum even ordered it from Amazon!!!!
Bloody shitty nursery rung again at 2.30 as Phebs temp up , had finish early , slept on & off on me , just had her tea & a full bottle.seems ok now so we ll see. Would be nice to do a full week without nursery ringing.... Heading towards a child minder me thinks....
On the plus side ; it's Friday
Oh Blue glad you ve got time off work xxx
Whatever xxx hope u re ok?

Utterly exhausted after looking after E for the past 13 hours, she's been so clingy and full of tears... And we had to watch all the 3 Toy Story films (she always asks for them when she doesn't feel well) DH is putting her to bed now :) Hopefully she feels a bit better in the morning.

Angel- I have downloaded fifty shades to my kindle. I have been skipping all the dirty bits, they get boring after a while!
I am a childminder, so if you need any advice mail me. Oh, I only send mindees home if they vomit, have runny bums.
Or seem really unwell. I always let parents know if they are under the weather and leave it up to them if them want to take them home. (if a wee one has a temp I would give some calpol with permission)

Good god I really wish I hadn't watched Eastenders tonight.

wtw what happend, I've been watching the football. Don't really watch east enders but you do hear things, was it something to do with the baby napping story?

One of the characters had a placental abruption at 29 weeks and they showed the emcs and her baby being resuscitated. Was fairly realistic and bought back a lot of memories of my emcs with Erin and also the shots of the teeny baby were quite shocking.

Damn that is quite shocking. Was it done in a way that made you think that it might make people be more aware of stillbirth and neonatal death? Sometimes its good when soaps do this but other times it can be done so wrong. Hope you are ok wtw?

Oh whatever not good viewing material for you, I don't watch EE {thankfully}. Hope you are ok?

Hi fan, how are you feeling?

I'm having a night in on my own, dh is out at a wedding reception he asked me out but I said no , it's a friend of a friend of friend. He only went along because he went to the stag do!

I half knew something was going to happen but I didn't realise it would be quite so graphic. It was actually quite well done. The actress was very very good. The medical staff not so! Be interesting to see how it plays out, the baby did give out a little cry and goes to nicu. That's what got to me, I remember willing and praying to hear a cry from Erin but we never did Wish dp was here for a cuddle.

I will send you some virtual cuddles. xx

Blizy can u move here & be my childminder pls? Xxx we ll weigh up our options Phebs not so good but think its teething but not really unwell enough to warrant another early off, if u get my drift?
Whatever don t watch EE it's depressing enough at the best of times. Knew something was coming up ( was on Chole's count the kicks website) pls don t get upset ... Watch something funny or light now , try & put it out your mind xxx

angel I shall consult my husband . I know how you mean, I mind a 16 month old and he has been teething for the past 4/5 months, it really is common sense!