TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

[lisacn]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Wine - cross post.

Oo that is an interesting dilema about if you should go for it this month or not. In these situations I always think there is absolutley no right or wrong. If it were me I know I would give in and swi as I would be too intrigued.

But how about giving yourself the green light to go ahead but see how things actually pan out. So if you feel too sore and uncomfy then there is your answer or if you don't find yourselves in the mood then don't force it. Let your instincts guide you rather than a ttc regime.

Sarlet, what a massive few weeks you've had. Isn't it ironic you're left standing not feeling you've anything to say when you've just experience something so impossibly significant.

I feel very glad for you that you get to see a second person. As you have conceived, the extreme of removing your tubes seems very final. It's very hard to comment as I haven't been there but I'll try to delicately. I would want to try the fet. And some natural cycles too. You are right, there is a 75% ish chance of one given cycle not working out. He can't know that it is your tubes for sure. I'm glad you've got the fight in there, that's a really good thing. Have lots of time to regroup and mend with your dh and we are all right behind you.

Sarlat I was wondering how you were doing over the weekend. I agree with wine about tube removal being a bit drastic at this point. I am glad that you have changed consultants and reckon a second opinion might be useful. Is there anyway you could afford a private consultation just to discuss this?
I also totally understand what you were saying about feeling like you have nothing to say to people. It is weird, there is so much going on in TTC/hospital terms but nothing going on that people want to hear about and that you want to discuss. I don't know about you but I also feel like I'm in this bubble and very little else matters to me but TTC. I find that I simply don't care very much about other peoples non problems and their rows with their husbands about not doing the washing up and so find it really hard to interact with people and do small talk.

wine I'm glad that you are on the mend and are able to laugh now! I also understand the cloistered feelings when you can't SWI. I was itching to get back at it but now that I am back in the midst of it I've remembered just how shit it is.

joycep Excellent....even the sonographer is muddled up about your cycle days. Are you going away on holiday?

buzzy are you back from your hols yet?

princess Oh the hormonal red mist. I get that. I also get it when I haven't eaten and have had weird hissy fits over some really stupid stuff. I know that I am being a total mad bitch but just can't reign it in. It's like I'm looking at myself being a complete pratt.

Pictures of ovulation???? The mind boggles.

Teuch I'm so sorry that you are down and battling depression. I've been there and have had two serious episodes of depression in my twenties. I remember how awful it was and how I felt like I was wading through treacle. You're definitely not a failure. I reckon that only really strong people can live with depression You will come out the other side, you just need to look after yourself and ask others to help you out a bit too.
Are you getting married? [Nosey smiley]

Critter I'm glad that you enjoyed your poetry break. It's funny how the fertility challenged people seem to crawl out of the woodwork. I just wish more people spoke about it.
Oh God at mid period dildo cam. I've got that indignity to come and am so not relishing it. Is there no end to the horror??!!

lemons Congratulations on your new job. When do you start?

Artemis I reckon that the Queen hated every bloody minute of her "celebrations" too and has been dreading all this rubbish for months. Prince Philip got a lucky escape I reckon by ending up in hospital with a bladder infection caused by standing on a friggin boat for hours in the rain, desperate for a pee no doubt

Gin at your DH taking more of an interest in all things TTC if it had FIFA stamped on it.
So sorry that you struggled in the Museum of TTC'ers Nightmares Childhood. Whose brilliant idea was it to go there? Hats off to you for keeping a lid on your tears in front of the ILS. Do they know about your issues?

I had a good weekend and regaled my sister and her partner with an update on my fertility journey and all the neighbours Not sure that DH was very impressed with me telling them everything but I'm not keeping it a secret anymore. Looks like we might have missed ovulation too (either that or it isn't happening this month. It got started with the EWCM and suddenly stopped very early doors) due to lack of SWI possibilities on blow up bed in my sister's lounge. Missing out on a cycle of tubal flush boosted fertility is a bit galling & so bloody typical!

Hello all, I am on my phone so can't do a name change :(
I will do a quick check in so apologies to those of you who I miss.

Lemon congrats on the job.
Barry glad you feel more prepared its great that you could sit and talk and research together, my OH doesn't like to discuss it as that means we are going on about it and making it worse!
Atremis and Critter, maybe poor kate has problems of her own, we think we have pressure from ourselves and family, imagine being her!

I am in a strange place too Wine I am ok one min and sobbing the next.
I am day 28 and just don't think its worked. I have some pmt well mainly fluid retention my boobs are up round my chin.
I know the clomid worked as I ovulate anyway and had a lot of pain and got positve opk and temp charts although it was later than normal.
I just want AF to arrive so I know what next. I POAS on monday as I couldn't wait any longer but it was a BFN. I used one of the early response ones so could tell 6 days early so very much doubt I am. Today should be the day I am very regular but since HSG a couple of months ago have had shorter cycles and with this being my first month of Clomid I have no idea what will happen :( over thinking it all and stressing myself out

Howdy!

Boy is it busy on here this morning! I thought I'd chip in with my two pennies worth. We had a DIY fail yesterday... pjs stayed on a bit longer, mega row about the house and then some manic houseworking from me (I'm sure Mr Princess gets me riled to clean the flat) and then went out to buy some birthday presents. I was mega peeved as I'm not happy with the progress of the house and I think Mr P is trying to take on too much. I want to be able to move in and not have to live with his parents (God Forbid!) while we finish it. A very naughty little devil popped up on my shoulder and hissed, "Princess, we are all alone by the shops. No one would know if you went and bought some fags and a bottle of wine and some delicious cheese. I wouldn't say a thing" Bad devil. Incidentally the iron will power did very well and I just did the birthday shops and then home to houmous and rice cakes and vegetable juice and then did nothing.

Joyce I completely forgot to wish you a happy holiday last week. What a ninny. I hope that you are having a really lovely time. Oh and for the crapness of the monitoring. I hope you get some proper answers soon.

Euro how are you? Have you decided to go ahead with the IVF? Hope you are feeling ok about everything.

Nelly are you back from hols yet? Are you even away? I hope you are ok.

Sarlat I'm so glad that you are have an appointment booked in with another consultant. You've had a rough enough ride as it is. Your current doctor sounds shocking. You've been frightened when you should have been reassured, your being told that the worst case scenario is your only option. I'm no expert but it all sounds far too dramatic. I am a big fan of options. I would be asking for the list of options (from do nothing to remove tubes) with pros and cons for each. May I take this opportunity to remind you how brave you are and you have our collective support.

Artemis I did at your commentary on the Jubilee stuff - especially the song choices - which we questioned too. I was really hoping that Jimmy Carr would say something extraordinarily rude and off piste. Sadly they had him reigned in well. Did anyone see the horse pageant the night before? The Queen was far more impressed. We were far more impressed. The horses were totally awesome. They did this very clever creeping move. I thought of Nelly. I was particularly pee'd off with Smug Barlow. Oh how he gets on my tits. When he was explaining the Common Wealth Song to the Queen and they showed images of him staring across the Dessert. BARF. And don't even get me started on him singing with Weak, Limp and Lifeless... K Middy is way too thin to have a baby. Although she had some great non pregnancy outfits this weekend. Massive sigh of relief.

Jim I'm so sorry about the exhibition. Well done for controlling your tears. Hats off to you. I would have been found in a salty puddle clutching at a random artifact. I watched You've Been Framed top 50 kids - I'm not sure this was the best idea whilst hormonal but I managed to get through it by yelling at the TV and telling the parents how ridiculous they were being. Plus it was quite funny in places. Sorry about the no talking as well. That's particularly rubbish. I was impressed this weekend with Mr P for going through stuff together because I either get the "oh no not that again" look or a huge sigh and "can't we wait until we see what the doctor has to say" (at which point I usually huff, say "NO" and then "fine, I'll do this all on my own then shall I?".) I think I was so badly behaved over the rest of the weekend that he thought he would humour me for his sanity. I also smirked about the FIFA thing. My OH doesn't do football (I told you he's metro) but he is a bit of a computer geek / into his music and if TTC was formed of interesting jazz chords and challenging improvisation or lines of code in an obscure language he would be the King of TTC. Hope that your hormones iron themselves out soon too. Garr to all this lady nonsense.

Dave I'm glad that you had a nice weekend. But oh gawd - blow up mattress in your sisters front room!? Passion killer! What a bugger to miss this months egg though. I am sorry about that one. I too get hunger red mist, which is why I now have to eat every 3 - 4 hours. I now understand that the two feelings are entirely different. One of the plus sides of the brown diet is being able to separate hungry angry and hormonal angry. I'm glad I'm not the only person who can effectively dislocate the rational me and watch the real life me evolve into a bitch of epic proportions...It's frankly ridiculous. I even try so hard not too but something from within takes over. I'm glad I'm not alone.

Wozza I think you should see how you feel. Don't beat yourself up if you can't DTD and don't get too sad if you do and nothing happens this time. You are recovering from major surgery and it wasn't that long ago, your body will needs lots of energies to focus on getting better. I can imagine the temptation though especially with the newly cleaned tubes and all. But another month is nothing. Are there any complications if you did get preggo during the healing process? I'm totally FX for your BFP being very soon though.

Pete Can I see the poem too? I'm sorry you had a day 2 fanny cam. Oh the indignity of all of this. It's nice that they turned the light off though. I hope that the monitoring is fruitful. I've got my FX for your 4th Clomid round.

Lemons loving your book thing. That's a stroke of genius. Hope you are enjoying all the naughty treats :)

Buzzy love hearing about your holiday. Hope you are still having a super time. Still mega about the gelato and wine.

Well I'm just glad that I am not in the 2ww. I have been feeling very sick this morning and I would have been totally mentalling. I think it may be the new scary vitamin supplements. I felt like I was having a hot flash yesterday too (although that could have been from rage mopping the flat). I am still tracking temp, which is stable and where it should be (36.4oC for me). I have transferred the info to fertility friends as this seems much better than the app I have on my phone. FF thinks I ov'd day 17 - 19 and I have always suspected that I ov on day 18. Don't ask me how or why, just a no evidence based feeling. FF thinks that my period should arrive on day 31 (I guess this is based on my piss stick and a standard luteal cycle). I think it will turn up in the next couple of days based on hormone rage. This would make my luteal phase 9 - 10 days long. It will be interesting to see what happens this cycle, as this will be the first fully brown diet cycle from CD1 - CD??. I will keep y'all posted. Oh and bloody good timing for signing off. Looks like lunch time - woohoo! Off to have butternut squash and apricot soup. Mmmmmn hmmmmmn,

Waves to anyone I've missed. Can't wait to here from everyone else.

Something I forgot to say earlier.....

I also live in God's Own County. I am really interested in a Northern meet up. Who else said they would be interested?

I can be quite fleixble about where e.g. Leeds / Sheffield / Manchester or even slightly further afield. West Yorks would be my preference.

Sorry about the PMT Princess. Yes, we have reluctantly decided to go ahead wth the IVF. So I get injecting in a couple weeks. Yay me...

That museum visit sounds AWFUL Gin.

Critter I'd also be interested in reading the poem. I used to love poetry when I was younger. It has been ages since I have read any though.

A CD2 scan would be awful for me. It is usually my heaviest day. TMI alert - I fill my mooncup up in about 4 hrs of day 2. That's really quite a lot of blood! Luckily no one has wanted to scan me earlier than day 4 so far.

That's great news about your friend.

wine I think you are right about giving yourself time to heal, but I am sure the lure of the egg will be difficult to resist!

sarlat I am not surprised you have felt emotional about what the dr said. I think sometimes they forget they are not dealing with a bunch of tubes and glands but a real person with feelings. It seems crazy to remove your tubes when you have conceived naturally before. Given that IVF only has around a 35% success rate I have no idea why they are so convinced that your tubes were the problem. Could you have the frozen embies transferred to another clinic?

Artemis I also reckon Queenie hated most of her celebrations. She certainly had a pretty sour face on during most of that concert (possibly due to being worried about Phil but she looked grumpy rather than upset to me - I can tell quite well cos she is the spitting image of my Nan!).

I decided to try new fertility woo in the hope of a last minute FCFU. I had reflexology this morning. My friend who has had 3 miscarriages and then quite a long spell without getting pregnant went to see this magic baby laydee woman and go pg the first month, so I thought I would try it. I am a bit sceptical but it was a lovely foot massage if nothing else!

K Middy is thin but about the same size as the friend of mine who got pg on her first try with her first two and then managed an accidental third without penetration so I wouldn't rule out an instadiff once they decide to go for it.

Carrie, x post earlier, I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time and suffering the 2ww. Not long to go though and it may have been too early to test, especially if you're on your first Clomid cycle and you're not too sure what impact it will have had on your cycle. I have my fingers firmly crossed for you and your clomid cycle and that the ERTD stays at bay. Hope you had a nice time away on your holiday TTC aside.

Euro Well, I'm feeling positive for you and your IVF cycle. I now officially feel a full bout of at your super fertile friend with the figure of k middy. Some people have all the luck don't they?! Hormone induced grrrrrrr of and . I also love your new term instadiff! Love it!

I too feel skeptical about reflexology having any impact but that won't stop me from going to my weekly sesh after work on Friday. I look forward to it all week. It's soooooo relaxing and she's very calm and soothing. Plus she can feel (and so can I) slightly blocked channels in my left shoulder (which I hang my massive handbag off), the top of my back (probably from computer hunch), my adrenal is always massively painful when she pokes it hard, my tummy rumbles when she pushes on my intestine and she has been working out a slightly blocked ovary, which is particularly grumbley just before my period (I'm talking foot zones rather than actual body parts!). Despite this, I'm still skeptical it will result in an instadiff!! But I just love the relaxation and calm it ushers in (albeit temporarily!)

Well, we've had a bit a result this afternoon. We've found a lime plasterer who can come and do upstairs next week. They are few and far between and mostly booked up til August. This is a big, BIG find as he was OHs first choice and he has a gap next week to do our small house before doing a big fancy project in London. The other option was OHs dad or OH and if you read earlier, he has taken on too much and we need to be ready pronto. His Dad got injured last time he helped with the floor (pirate impressions on the drive with lime in the eye) and we are a bit worried about him getting hurt again. He doesn't believe in protective clothing or goggles. Plus good plasterer means that I can power chisel (oh yes Princess Barry can use power tools) the rest of plaster that I was supposed to be scrubbing off the wall. No. More. Wall. Scrubbing - Hallelujah! I think my melt down yesterday had sufficient effect (I don't think I mentioned the part where I refused to move from the sofa or out of my pjs until he could categorically tell me that he would not be taking down any more wall that I have stripped of layers and layers of paint and scrubbed clean - I'm talking more hours than you please to imagine taken down in 10 minutes with the power tool - complete waste of my time). Poor DH at the mercy of menstrual renovations, I'm sure it would have been all calm and productive had I not had the bought of the monthly mentals!

I meant bout above not bought. Terrible spelling and grammar when one is rushing!

Afternoon everyone

It's nice to see the thread coming back to life after the weekend. I find it much harder to post during weekends, mainly because I keep my MNing secret from Mr A... he knows I chat to people on here but i have been cagey about it and I would feel inhibited if I thought he was reading my posts. I missed all your updates!

Gin hugs after your trip to the in-laws and crappy museum experience... whose rubbish idea was that? The only museums TTCers should be visiting are those with big displays of sparkly knobs or other weird fertility symbols that can be surreptitiously fondled in a superstitious kinda way. I think MrA would also like TTC information to come accredited by FIFA. Perhaps if we got Gary Lineker and Alan Hansen to do a quick run-down our men might pay a bit more attention. "Grim conditions out there for today's final, the pitch is suffering a lack of EWCM over the last few days and let's hope the balls are in good condition as we've heard rumours that the attacking sperm may not be match fit..."

MrsT how are you feeling sans wisdom teeth? Hope you are OK.

Frannie how are you post IUI? I hope the 2WW isn't proving too stressful.

Wine it's a tough decision whether to swi so soon after your op. Maybe avoid putting pressure on yourself (physically and mentally!) and see how you feel nearer the time? Though it's rubbish when every cycle that goes by feels like a waste of precious time.

Teu I am sorry to hear about the depression. I've been there, it's horrible. Dave's wading through treacle analogy is a good one. I had a few years on ADs some years ago but got lucky and found a really good counsellor through my GP. It is worth seeking help rather than struggling on, from my experience just asking for help makes it seem a bit more manageable.

Dave what a bugger to miss an egg due to timing though i don't blame you for not attempting to dtd on the sister's blow-up bed! I'm not sure they are built for comfort. I have a grim air bed story from my days of being young and wild that still makes me when I think about it. It involves a malfunctioning foot pump, a lack of curtains, a boy with [whispers] the smallest penis I have seen in my life and a plastic smurf. There I shall draw a veil...

Euro I am not sure I believe those people who claim to have got diffed without any penetration... surely not?! That just takes the piss. Hope you get on OK with the IVF drugs.

Princess ooh I hope you can get the house done in time, I would not fancy living with the in-laws... glad the pyjama clad meltdown had some positive effects! i was glad I could admire the K Middy outfits without speculating on her diffedness. I wouldn't change places with her for anything. I hope someone is keeping an eye on her health - i do wonder if she is beginning to realise what she's taken on. There must be tremendous pressure to stay clothes-horse thin. Carrie you are right, I can't imagine the pressure they must be under to procreate with the world's media speculating constantly.

Pete I loved your poem and am a mite of your literary talent

Sarlat I am glad you're getting a second opinion. Going straight to the extreme solution as your doctor has done does not sound helpful. I would feel as you do and would want to try other options before giving in to something so final as removal of the tubes. We do have a few northerners on here. You, me, Wine, Ladygee, and I'm not sure about Buzzy? Several of us are in God's own county too so I reckon we could manage a northern meet if people are up for it? Leeds is pretty good transport wise though I can get to York, Manchester or Sheffield easily enough too. Any takers?

DC12 here so we are into shag week... thankfully I feel less mental now I've taken all the pills. And this time Mr A seems to be taking his responsibilities seriously so I have not had to do any coercion (yet). I had a big rant last week about how much I didn't want to have IVF so he must have taken some of it on board. I have procured a hundredweight of ovulation pee sticks off Amazon so now I just have to be arsed to use them. I am not thrilled at being back at work. Spent the morning pissing about with my accounts and then stretched what should have been a simple report writing task to fill the whole afternoon. I am going to be stressing by Friday. YAWN

Evening chaps,

It's Frannie, if anyone missed the previous post. Hoping I will have more luck getting preggers as a boy. Notice the positivity in my name- hopefully I can change at some point this century to KeithIsCheggers! Not this cycle though.... prepare for total mehhhhhhness! Of all the cycles that I have properly tracked I have NEVER ovulated before Day 21, so, by the law of all things sod, I got my LH surge on day 18 and ovd on day 19. Because of all the royal shenanigans the bloody clinic was closed and I missed this cycle's IUI. I feel so peed off, I wouldn't mind missing a cycle but having done all the dildocam appointments/ time off from work/ nurse making me cry etc, it is highly irritating. We had also been abstaining the few days before. However, last night I did, quite literally, force DH to DTD, even though he was feeling rough. Not my finest hour. I also have full on acne chin which meant I looked awful and felt miserable at the wedding (with the most bumps and babies I have ever seen) that I attended on Saturday. I fell off the PCOS diet wagon with a bump and drank myself silly. Oops. Sorry- rant over- but I am seriously slipping into feeling crap again, although at least I'll have a break from a 2ww I guess? dave sorry you missed your egg too.

Anyway, enough about me,me,me.

euro I'm glad you've been able to make your decision- I really hope that this will be the golden ticket. I know it's scary but we'll all be here for you. The reflexology sounds like a good compliment to it all too.

sarlat great news that you are able to get a 2nd opinion. As others have said, the removal of tubes does seem like a big leap from where you are. Hopefully this dr will have a far better bedside manner and will explain things in a less traumatic way.

princess sorry you've been hormonal but well done for sticking to all things brown. Tried to look in Waterstone's for the PCOS book you mentioned but no luck, will order on Amazon. Hope the sick feeling passes- am very intrigued by the contents of those supplements. Sounds like it might be George's Marvellous Medicine in a pill!

carrie def too early to POAS (could not be like it myself ). Hope that this is the cycle for you.

wine sounds like all is healing nicely, although you have been through the wringer. I totally think that this is now going to be your time. Genuinely I do, as your tubes and womb have been given a super clear out. I would just stay on the safe side and maybe wait one more cycle, give it another period and a chance to all settle and totally heal....then all systems go! That's just me though.

jim you are absolutely not a freak. That sounds like a living nightmare. Poor you. I hope you do get chance to get it off your chest to friends...remember we're here if you need us.

Sorry to only part name check. I have to go out now but hope to catch up more later/ tomorrow.
Have a good eve xx

I to am northern but even more so

Evening all!

The dildocam poem has winged its way into the inboxes of those fancying a bit of light relief. Apologies in advance!

Keith the cheggers nickname is bloody brilliant! Love it! You are a genius. Well done for getting the shag in, and sorry that you missed the IUI - how incredibly frustrating. My heartfelt commiserations about the chin acne - that is totally my department too, the joy. And sorry about the wedding and bump outbreak, never fun. Let me perk, blow dry and fluff your tail feather, it sounds like it's been through the mill. We'll be here to chat as you gear up for the next round.

lemon How are you feeling? at lemons being mostly male. What a great idea about books instead of outfits for other people's babies - I will steal that one. My last foray into the land of cute little clothes was not my brightest move.

euro that's very cool that you are a poetry-lover. I am always a bit embarrassed and secretive about my hobby, because it's such a dorky thing to do, but I absolutely love reading it and attempting to write it. You probably know this already, but if you're ever interested in a good anthology, the Staying Alive ones edited by Neil Astley at Bloodaxe are fab - a great selection of wonderful, wonderful poems. And if you're ever interested in writing it, the Arvon Foundation do amazing five-day long 'retreats' in the UK - they do it for cookery writing and fiction and all sorts. I am so sorry about the IVF and upcoming injections - it totally, totally sucks, but I hope that you feel at peace with the decision to move forward with it.

Speaking of injections, Mr C is eagerly looking forward to giving me a 'butt injection' (I don't think it actually is in the bum, but don't want to spoil it for him) with HCG next Friday, to force ovulation.

The CD2 scan was only ok because I talked myself into a 'she probably sees this all the time' mode, and because I was scuffling around in the loo just before, popping in a fresh tampon and whipping it out just prior to the actual, ahem, insertion, so there wasn't a lot of excess. Sorry, probably much much more than you needed to know.

artemis CD12 already? Let the shagging commence! Are they giving you a scan to check your follicles and/or an injection of something to encourage ovulation?

wine how are you doing? I hope you're healing nicely. If there were medals for TTC valour, as I may have said before, you would deserve a whole row of them. I think the advice of just seeing how you go with this cycle, and if you feel in the mood going for it, but not otherwise, is a good one.

dave the mind boggles at the blow up bed - that is a comedy incident waiting to happen! As I said in way too much detail to euro, the CD2 scan is not a barrel of laughs but it isn't too bad. My advice would be to put in a fresh tampon about an hour before and take it out just before the scan. And tell yourself that it's only blood and they must've seen worse!

carrie sorry you're feeling up and down. It's really hard, this business.

sarlat wine has said it best - that is a dilemma and a half, but I reckon it's a case of needing a second opinion before doing something as drastic as getting rid of your tubes.

princess a power chisel? That is awesome! I would feel totally bad ass using one of those. You are totally my hero, both in brown dietness and in DIYness.

Oh -whoever it was who wrote about the sperm in the aquatic Crufts - it made me snort out loud when I read it on my phone! Thanks for the laugh!

Sorry not to namecheck more. I'm off to pop my first Clomid tablet of the cycle. Thinking of everyone, and thanks as ever for the support and the laughs. Not to get too soppy, but I don't know what I'd do without you all.

Quick post, officially late but still BFN and spent the night dealing with night sweats oh the joy. I have the worlds shinniest face and a spot so AF is playing tricks

Just quickly Pete I love your poem. I used to write some when I was much younger and you may have inspired me to try again. Good luck with the next round of clomid! (And thanks for the tips re: the cd2 scan, because that is the only thing I have no had that worries me.)

Sorry keith about the cycle bust. That is totally rubbish, abstaining and dildo-camming but no iui is not right. I do think it is unfair. But I have decided you are going to be our iui win, just a month later perhaps.

Sorry about your missed opportunity dave, but great you talked stuff over with your sister. Even if MrDave was less happy... Job starts in September, got a different one until then. Sadly it will mean less time on here I echo dave's sentiment re:depression, teu been there. It is hard. It will get better but get yourself all the help you need (and can face) while you're wading through treacle.

Like the surreptious MN-ing, artemis. I do the same... Good luck with today's work, just don't leave it all til tomorrow. And good luck with shag-week. Ours is approaching. As in this time next week I will have produced and laid an egg, shame than that DH is off for most of that time. A true month off, it's been a while...

Yay for the power-tools and progress princess. I would NOT live my in-laws. Not ever. Not for a day... So fingers crossed the building and DIY-ing goes fast enough. And well done on the will power.

Thanks for bringing the fread back to hysterical Mid-watching, euro. But instadiff is a gem.

How are you today carrie? Still in unhappy limbo-land? Sorry for the rocky weekend sarlat. I agree with the lovely ladies on here suggesting a second opinion. And feeling a huge turmoil of emotions it to be expected. Still it sucks...

How are you wine? I would play SWI by ear as well this month. It is good you are healing, really hope you get well again soon!! Better get on, I meant to leave the house 15 minutes ago...

Morning all,

Pete Your poem is both funny and poignant. I think you have a hidden talent there. And poetry is no way dorky! It's totally boho and intellectual. Thank you for sharing.

Keith at your name absolutely ruddy genius! I can't wait for the day I log in and see KeithIsCheggers, I hope it's not too far away. I'm sorry to hear about the missed IUI and all the palaver beforehand (I find anything that wastes my time incredibly infuriating) and the wedding of bumps and babies and the chin outbreak of mehness. What crapola. I don't blame you for reaching for the bottle. I hope you're feeling better and that IUI will be unnecessary because you caught the egg this month. Fingers crossed for you.

Carrie sorry about the BFN. And the sleepless night. And the sweats and spots. Have a hug. Hope you feel better today.

Artemis I really laughed at the ovulation FIFA commentary (maybe FOOFA - Federation of ovulation and fanjo action?) I'm glad MrA is taking his duties seriously... I hate have to entice Mr P, it usually goes along the lines of, "do you fancy a game of hide the sausage?" or some other hideously unromantic gesture. Ah the joys of TTC. Fingers crossed for you.

I am feeling a little smug because OH had to be out to the renovation early and I have been up since 6.45am making breakfast, tidying, hoovering, washing, showering, blow drying hair, plucking eyebrows, wrapping presents, listening to radio 4... This is contrast with our usual morning of waking up at 7.45am not bothering to get up til 8.30am (I like to think of all the other mums on their school run, wiping baby puke off their jumper etc as I laze in bed chatting to OH - come on - there have to be some perks?) at which point I jump in the shower, flap around to make breakfast and try and start work at 9am - usually disheveled and in pjs - bad habits set in quickly when you work from home.... So I am totally ready for today, although I have been bad this morning and have started researching prams and cots again... I don't know why I do it to myself. Must. Resist! I don't feel upset which means ERTD is imminent...But I have found a lovely, lovely pram which I WANT!

Have got to get on with work. Clients to ring and new project to start. Waves and hugs and shakes of tail feathers at all of you :)

Carrie Oh no for AF dickbuggery. It is bad enough without that.

lemons I am intigued by your new job. Are you pleased about it? Snort at 'lemons being mostly male'. I now have images of you sexing your fruit and veg??????

princess I'm sorry but I had to giggle at the thought of you having a raging hissy and wielding a power tool If I were let loose with with one midway through an epi we would have NO plaster left on the walls.
Argggghhhhhhhhhh at living with the ILS. I would find living in a shell of a house, the back of our car or in a tent in the Lidl carpark preferable to that?

euro Pregnant with no penetration - really? bangs head repeatedly against desk

Artemis Oh I definitely think that Gary Linekar should do a Match of the Day stylee TTC round up
at your blow up bed ordeal. One thing, I was right with you & picturing the scene imagining that this is the kind of situation I might have found myself in back in the day right up to the mention of a Smurf. WTAF???? My mind is scrolling through all kinds of weird scenarios that could possibly involve a smurf!

Keith am loving the new monica. I used to adore Keith Chegwin especially on Saturday Swapshop. Can I namechange to (Not)PreggersPlaysPop?
Congrats on the forced ovulation SWI. I was saying to DH last night how it pisses me off to think that if we get updiffed it will more than likely be the result of a reluctant shag that invovled lots of sighing, one leg of my PJ's rolled down and me telling him to be quick. Just how I always imagined it!

Critter I used to try and get through dildocam like ordeals by telling myself how they've seen it all before blah, blah, until I had my first HSG and the nurse lady said how doing HSG's "were their least favourite thing to do" Wonderful, I'll just whip me knickers off and get on the bed then and totally ruin your morning shall I?

Oh I totally forgot to mention Artemis's blow up bed, tiny penis, smurf encounter??!!?? The mind boggles.... Papa smurf will forever have a sinister butt plug connotations in my mind...
Dave you could have made that nurses day even worse by doing a small wee on her hand.

Dave just quickly - job is a bit googleable so have to make it my secret hobbling (how is nelly is she on holidays?!), but I am really excited and pleased about it. The fact there will be less MN-ing is definitely a good thing. I have these "infertile-days" now where I spent too much time on here, on Dr Google and on IF-blogs which actually really get me down. So less of that will be good. And the job is right up my street, everyone who knows me professionally has been very encouraging and agreeing that it is just right for me. And YAY there will be no unemployment (which I was dreading a lot). If I sound a bit flat, that is because I am shattered from overwork followed by one of those internet days. Luckily I am off to a course this afternoon, to break the habit

And I agree with barry, you've got to spill the beans on that smurf arte. I am intrigued (and disturbed, a dirty mind is not always a joy...)

Oh Barry that made me laugh 'make her day and do a little wee on her hand'.
Just what I needed.
And Dave I know what you mean about reluctant, my OH is finding the pressure is affecting him and he's starting to worry he won't be able to ( we have yet to have an issue but with stress it could) that last time we were both shattered and fining it hard to get excited. We decided a little movie 'help' worked but then afterwards had a giggle about if that worked at least we will remember what and how they were conceived.
My mind boggles with the smurf thing!
Feeling out of sorts today, upset at my own body for teasing me like this when I know in my heart I'm not

Afternoon ladies.

I had my smear test done this morning. I was fairly non-plussed by it after all that I have been through! They had run out of non-latex gloves (latex brings me out in red welts sometimes, other times I am fine) so she did it without. I obviously have a pristing looking foof that she was willing to (briefly) touch. I'm not sure I would want to feel up a stranger in her position, but I'm glad I don't have a sorry fanjo now as it is swi time tonight.

Critter great poem! I enjoyed the punchline! I used to be into the dark n moody kind of poetry, but more recently I have enjoyed things like seeing John Hegley live.

PS - I was told by the woman in Boots to grab a roll of tummy flesh and do the HCG jab there. It worked for me.

Keith that is blooming annoying!

Dave the male nurse at my HSG said the same thing, but he said it was because it causes some people pain. I guess this is not common if you work in radiology! (Hahahah@doing a small wee on her hand!)

I'm afraid I can't take credit for "instadiff". I picked it up from the BESH thread! But the no penetration thing is true. She told me the story, rather shamefacedly, when I asked her how, after two kids and presumably some chance to figure out how these things worked, she had managed to get accidentally pregnant.... Her husband was quickly dispatched for the snip afterwards. If only it were that easy for all of us. I suggested to Mr euro over the weekend that we use our (large) remaining supply of condoms as party balloons as we are pretty unlikely to ever need them again!

critter I would love to see your poem! I looked at the courses and they are right up my street, they even do yoga retreats! I have always wanted to write a book but have ended up writing academic textbooks which is not what I had in mind. I may well save up for one of those next summer. I'd love to chat to you about it. I really need a tail feather blow dry, mine are droopy and lacklustre.

sarlet I'm in Manchester. Count me in for any meet ups it's easy to travel from here. I'm not quite up for train rides yet though! I hope you're feeling a little better. I'm still at your doctor on your behalf. Who do they think they are?

Carrie sorry you've been blue. The two week wait is at it's very worst in the final bits. Hope you get resolution very soon. In fact, those 48 hours where you're not sure make me shudder at the very thought. Hug.

princess power tool kudos! I'd be like the girl in that nuts advert where she loses control of it up the wall. I hope it all gets finished in time. My honestly healthy cookbook just got posted out so will give you the verdict soon.

I think the only thing that would happen if I was to get pregnant quickly is that the scar would stretch and be sore, there isn't any worry with my womb as it didn't have any stitches. They did do a hysteroscopy though so it needed 4-6 weeks apparently because if infection, I haven't googled though. But, I saw my acu yesterday which was so good and nourishing, I'm so glad of her. She did an amazing spinal treatment thingy and I felt quite drained after but in a good way. It is really good to have my feelings valued, understood and made sense of. For me, it's as much about the talking side of things as the needles. Inevitably, her view was that it would be unwise to even think about ttc yet. I feel very fragile and still ever so sore. I think the capacity to heal is amazing and three weeks ago, I couldn't imagine I'd feel this good so soon but I've still a way to go. I've been out doing things the past few days but today I've just had to be still and rest as it's made me shattered. I keep comparing myself to women who've had a c section and feeling inadequate that I've needed so much support but I think you must have a very different set of hormones pumping round your body perhaps.

Sooo. Dave I'll be joining you my womble twin with clear as a bell tubes with no passing traffic! I might try next month but I'm going to be quite strict that it's only if I feel strong and well. If I'm not, it probably wouldn't work anyway so I may as well save myself the two week torture.

euro funnily enough my mum has bought me three reflexology sessions bless her. I have never heard a bad word about reflexology. I did have one session last year but the girl was very young and unaware of fertility things. Are you on a natural cycle now before the ivf kicks in? I so hope it's a hole in one for you.

Keith how truly poo about the timing. I think you are well within your rights to blame the queen!!

artemis good luck with operation shag week! I have also just ordered a draw full of ov strips. I decided against the monitor, what more can it tell me. I'm hoping to see an egg pop this month just so I know all is well and ticking over.

lemon so glad the new job is all exciting and uplifting, it does put you at significant risk of the law if sod you know.. have you finished with IUI now?

Waves to joycep statesidenelly mrsden buzzy and anyone else I've missed.

euro cross post, a smear is like a blood pressure test now isnt it?!!

Oh and princess did you hear from glucky?

Wine Nope. Nothing from Glucky - TBH I had completely forgotten. I'm a bit narked as I sent the email over a week ago. Maybe they are on holiday (somewhere posh and hot and expensive) or maybe I'm just not important enough. It's only 4 days until the NHS appointment. It feels like a life time since I last saw my GP (7 wks ago) ... I'm dreading the appointment. I feel very conflicted. I've been bought up by a very scientific, methodical dad who doesn't believe in any of the nutrition stuff I'm doing, a mum who has never really agreed with medical interference and thinks the food stuff is interesting but the supplements are bollocks, my sister is a medical writer for drug companies and believes that drugs are the way, OH is a bit of everything kinda person and I'm very skeptical about what the NHS will say / what the solution is and that the brown diet can't be doing anything bad. On the one hand I just want a baby and the sooner the better, so I'm willing to do anything (and I mean anything - especially now I have found dream pram) but the other half of me is resisting the NHS route and believing that diet has to at least have a proper chance. I also quite like being in this 'me' space where I'm not worrying about 2ww's and I'm a bit scared of the mentalling taking over. I don't think I was able to get upduffed when I started this thread because of the mid cycle bleeding and I'm really impressed with you ladies and your ability to cope with the 2ww because it turns me into a manic paranoid impatient beast that just implodes at the thought of potentially being preggo. and researching nursery stuff one minute and thinking about miscarriages the next. I can feel the difference on this diet but sometimes I still start feeling skeptical again (despite sticking to it just.in.case) and then I think that they can do medical wonders and then think but nooo so many things don't work and then there is all of the NHS onsultant minion v seeing the consultant private bollocks. I'd really like to see the Gluck. I will email again. I'd also really like a magical coping potion to gulp down as I feel in a complete tizz about everything. Gluck was my middle ground fairy fertility mother - medically trained and promoting the brown diet. But she is no-where to be seen. WHERE IS SHE!

Oh and first quote for the plastering £110 p/sqm - we sooo can't afford that sort of money hoping that the other people are more reasonable otherwise it's looking like working / living / eating / trying to procreate at the in laws is getting closer. I'm going to the Theatre to see Avenue Q later, I hope that cheers me up as I'm feeling a bit blue this arvo (not in the smurf way tho - hey I hadn't made the connection between blue movie and smurfs - Artemis were you making a blue movie )