Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake overindulgence

[WhyAlwaysBoris]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

So sorry mumtum :(

Oh Mumtum. I am so sorry that the wait continues. I am torn between posting - it aint over till the fat lady sings and just hugging you. So I will try and do both. weirdo I am not trying to give you false hope but if your days are out there still could be a chance. Although my experience of when they have been gloomy with me it is normally for a reason and if you are 7plus 5 then there should be a heartbeat. Such a kick in the guts. But we will still have everything crossed. Big hugs and a few bastard kicks at the furniture becasue it is so bloody unfair Sending you the biggest vitual hug.

vitual? Virtual even

sorry to hear it mumtum.

i hate this wait a week bullshit. i know everything could be ok next week but when it happened to me i knew it wouldn't be but they sent me away to wait and i was getting a tiny bit of hope everything would be ok.

did they see a heartbeat last time or was it too early?

i am not sure of your history - have you had tests and a treatment plan? if not i hope you can get something now.

worried and frustrated on your behalf mumtum. The waiting, oh the waiting... waiting to ttc, the 2ww, the waiting for the stick to change colour, the waiting for the scan, the next one, waiting at appointments, waiting to go into labour if you get that far....

With my mmc I knew my dates. I knew there was no point having to wait for another scan. I said so to the sonographer. And she said I was almost certainly right, but would I ever forgive myself if I had an erpc or medical management and didn't wait that extra week for a scan to check. I got her point. So..... while it doesn't look great for you, on the other hand there has been some growth since the last scan, so hang on in there, assume the worse, hope for the best.

Bonzo pebs and midget thank you for your very kind words (and appropriate furniture kicks)

It really sucks as my last period was 18th march no way could I only be 6 weeks now so as u say Bonzo I know my dates but I guess some women can't be so certain hence the protocol. Just feel like now I'm going to spend every second thinking about knicker checking in case I've started to bleed which surely is no good for a person?

I live in Essex and next week for Wednesday I have a 2 day trip to Birmingham planned for an event but I'm too scared to go now in case I start bleeding whilst I'm away but work didn't know I was ttc let alone had a bfp I've no idea what to say to them . Technically I'm not yet mc I suppose though in my heart I know there will be no more growth it really is just a waiting game

Had to text dh to tell him as cant have calls at work he said quite simply text back

I'm gutted and so sad sorry babe love u tonnes xxxx

It made me cry.

Mumtum Don't suppose they told you how long the fetal pole was or recorded it on your scan report?

I always refer to this site at such times: (been here more times than I care to recall - in fact I don't recall them all as I find it easier that way).

www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/earlyfetaldevelopment.htm

Knoweldge is power and waiting it a total bitch. If you have the fetal pole length and you are sure about dates it can help give you a really clear indication of the outcome. Another hug.

Cross posted Mumtum - Wish I didn't know exactly how you feel. But then I suppose we could offer no comfort so not all bad. Ignore my link posting - we can't always fix things with knowledge. As we all know there aren't always answers. x

Thanks midget sadly they didn't give me any detail so I'm afraid I've no knowledge they simply said its to difficult to tell as there has been growth since the last scan and the only thing to do is wait .

Tbh the only reason I've been seen so early is cos I kicked up a fuss when i explained to my very kindly gp my anxieties following my last mc he suggested for peace of mind an early scan may help settle my worries. If he hadn't agreed to that to this point I would have had no reason to suspect anything was amiss no pain cramps bleeding etc only the loss of symptoms over the last week ( which would tie in with the size of the bean now I guess)

12 year old dd knows something's different but I've no idea what to tell her. I'm sure even if I don't start bleeding this week I will be booking in for an erpc after next Fridays scan and so will need to tell her something then meanwhile I just want to crawl into bed and cry but I can't for her sake.

This limbo is really awful

I''ve been lurking in the background as I am only 2 weeks after an erpc following a mmc where baby was only 7+6 with no heartbeat and got rhe news on my own ,but not ready to join the ttc thread.

But mumtum how my heart goes out to you as it is still very fresh and raw for me and unfortunately our two stories so similar. I know well how torturous the next week will be and although all seems very glum you can't help but hope against all hopes that there will be a heart beat next week. It has been known to happen.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone!!!

All I can say is I really hope there will be better news next week for you.

Take care of yourself.

mumtum I'm so so sorry. I just don't understand the whole waiting thing, it seems so cruel and heartless to me, If you weren't sure of dates, then maybe, but otherwise it is just horrid. I'm so sorry you have this awful week ahead of you.

Hi Everyone,

I too have been lurking for quite a while, following all your trials and triumphs, finding solace in hearing that others have experienced similar to me, though I wish none of us had. I'm so pleased for all of you who have had BFPs and happy scans, and my fingers are crossed for those still waiting. mumtum all my extra digits are crossed for you, hoping you get answer soon and that the Goddess of Metalling is good to you.

I have one DS, 2yrs, and have had one miscarriage (6wks in June 2011) and one CP (Nov 2011). I am currently (allegedly) 10+3, but am feeling wretched today. Life has many challenges for me at the moment - financial, career, health - and today I have run out of coping ability. My boobs are less sore than they have been and yesterday I convinced my doctor to try the doppler, which didn't find a heartbeat. I told her I wouldn't metal if she didn't find one, as it's still quite early, and I didn't. At first anyway.

But somewhere in side it must have bothered me because I'm a blithering wreck today. Keep crying (at work, though I own the business so I can hide in the back office and blither!), poking my boobs and feeling so certain that all is over. I'm 38 and not sure I can try again if this pregnancy doesn't work out. I feel in my gut that my little family is not complete yet. sigh blither. Just needed to reach out to people who understand metalling, as most in RL do not!

Anyhoo, it's lovely to meet you all . :-)

Welcome Munchin, sorry you find yourself here but you are very welcome.

Thanks Pebs and Midge for info re DH clotting tests. We emailed the consulant this morning to ask if DH could have them, but got home tonight to a letter from the hospital saying my appointment to get my results has been put back from next week until 29th August.

I am so gutted. I just don't feel i can take it. It has been all i could do to keep counting down the days till next week and the end of August just feels like forever. It just feels like one more bloody obstacle after another.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Is it useful to complain and ask for a nearer appointment? Could i just demand that they give me the results of my tests now rather than wait for the consultant to tell me what the results are? (then i could privately refer to st mary's with them?) it is probably just a build up of stuff and i'm overreacting but i feel so low about it.

x post with Sassmonkey
Hello, welcome & sorry you have had such a shitty day, & have so much going on you have to deal with. I completely understand what you mean when you say you have run out of coping ability. Metalling is the least fun of all hobbies, I find. Where else but on this thread could i write- i hope you wake up with really sore boobs tomorrow and that allays your fears a little :)

Boris WTF??? Ring the hospital on Monday to find out what they are playing at. You can ask for your results over the phone surely??

If they really can't see you until august I would get copies of the results and go to see raj rai at st marys to help you understand them. It's only £230 for a consultation.

You have a right to get copies of your medical records so it should be fine.

I think it must be a mistake - end of august omg!

Boris I have no experience of that but it can't hurt to phone and
demand ask for an earlier appointment.
A friend had hers changed at the last minute (like, the day before) but it was only moved to the following week - but she was away that week, so she rang and asked to change it and was offered the slot one hour after her original appointment! Leading her to ask why she wasn't offered that one in the first place

Boris I'd ring and ask about cancellations, it may mean you have a very last minute apt but still might be quicker, deffo in the mean time ask for your results to be sent to you either in the list or discussed on the phone. It's not fair for you to wait that long!

I had to wait 6 months for a fertility apt at my hospital but by the time it came around I was pregnant with DS2 so they dismissed it, same happened this time, I had an apt for a laparoscopy and investigation in April but now being pregnant they're obvs not bothering.

Morning ladies

On my own today dh working overtime and dd out with her friends. Which obviously means full on metalling has commenced with too much time to myself.

Trouble is what can / do I do ???? For example our gardens a wreck was going to start that but it's heavy digging. If I knew I was pg I wouldn't dream of it but given the circs should I or will that bring on the bleeding?!? Or just for that small bit of hope should I rest up just in case worried in case there is still a miracle and wouldn't want to jeopardise my chance. . It's awful I simply just don't know what to do

And of course as if in the beginning symptom spotting wasn't bad enough I'm know imagining convinced every twinge is af like and the beginnings of mc which of course it could be. I swing from one way to another by the minute it's just torture.

As I more strongly suspect though and trying to be proactive my mc in dec 2010 I completed naturally but it took 3 weeks to stop bleeding and 8 weeks for my Hcg to drop below 100!!!! And a further 2 weeks before i got a bfn. After that another 3 weeks till af reappeared. It seemed to take forever. I'm thinking this time erpc would be better sadly I know u ladies have experience in this but would like to learn your opinions on having one. I've no idea what to expect but would hope it would speed up the process so I'm not still recovering 10 weeks later xxx any advice gratefully hoovered up and digested and read and reread repeatedly received as I would like to try to make an informed decision do I'm as prepared as I can be next Friday .. Thanks in advance ladies the virtual support hugs and hand holding is truly invaluable to me right now xxx

mumtum, I've had both and I have to say that I found the ERPC easier - there was less waiting for it to happen, it was completely painless and I had maybe 6 days of light bleeding after the op which was easy enough to cope with. I also felt that it drew a line under the whole thing and I could move on faster. I hope it doesn't come to that for you, but that's just how I felt about them.

Mumtum, I am so sorry you are in limbo. It is really tough. Try and do what ever you can to pass the time. Try not to worry about starting off the mc- what will be will be, and unless you do something very stressful on your body, it won't make a difference. Make a nice cake, go for a walk, pop into town and buy a treat, anything that will help you get through the hours. Sending you lots of hugs x

Boris, 29th August is a load of rubbish. I can only think of 2 things- ring for a cancellation, every day, be really nice to the admin people, but be a PITA never the less. This worked for me once. The other thought I had was a sort of compromise. Maybe they would feel more comfortable releasing the info to a GP who might be able to help you with them? And of course, if you can afford it, go private. May-Aug is too long for anyone to wait, especially when not necessary for actual medical reasons.

Welcome to the thread Sassmonkey and Munchkin

mumtum I've had both too. my first I mc naturally in between the first scan which showed a 5 week pregnancy (should have been 9 weeks) and the second to check for any growth. It was ok, not huge amounts of bleeding or pain and lasted about a week, I still went to work every day (still not sure if this was stupid or not). It took 4 weeks to get a negative hpt afterwards. From what I've read I think my experience was better than the average and physically I had it easy.

My second (similar dates and scan results) I had an ERPC as I didn't want to wait for who knows how long for a mc to start, I was scared of a natural mc being as bad as some of the stories I'd read and I wanted it over. Physically, it was fine, it was almost as if nothing had happened. Staff at the hospital were great. hardly any pain or bleeding (but I did have stop-start very light bleeding for 2 weeks). walked home from hospital afterwards (it's only a mile away) and went to the pub for a cheer up dinner the next day. Negative hpt after less than two weeks.

I think the ERPC was the least horrible experience for me and would probably choose that again if it ever came to it. It felt a lot more controlled and "managed". Oh, and it only took 2 months to get pregnant again afterwards so I don't know if there is something in what they say about you being more fertile afterwards.

I'm so sorry you even need to be thinking about this, it's just not fair x

mumtum I also had an erpc, I'm was very anxious but due to timing (bang on christmas) I needed it 'over' and I can honestly say im happy with my choice, if you can be, iyswim. I was a bit achey after but was given pain killers, had a big sleep, and spotted maybe twice. Af was back like clockwork the next month, mentally I couldn't have dealt with the natural approach. If you have any questions all of us can help. But I know 100% if the worst happens again, I'd choose erpc. Xxx

mumtum with my MC in March 2011 it started naturally but i really wished it hadnt and i had known earlier so i could have had an ERPC. I am sorry i am even advising you on this though hang in there, i feel there is still some hope i agree that you should go out for the day, even if you have no money go and do some window shopping/retail therapy, and a Costa coffee lunch with some trashy mags is definitely the way forward

i got a BFP!!!!!

oh sweet fucking god i got a BFP! DH is convinced it was our impromptu passion sesh last week but shitting hell!!!

Now we are scared, i have had 3 BFPs in the last 18 months which have all gone tits up (sorry for the pun tits ) but i am hoping upon all hope in the world that this one sticks.

Let the metalling commence!!

Today i am pregnant

Eek! how exciting! Fingers crossed and all that.