The Rat Smacketeers will all get BFP's this month and we are Brooking No Argument!

[TheLittleFriend]

See a Rat. Smack it.

Sparks that is genius!

Maybe do you want marmalade or marmalade?

Beedle you cracked my code! I note you said 'all the bathrooms' - just how many do you have, Kate?

I meant all the bathrooms in this country (at least all the ones I've been in), I think its an insurance requirement. We've got 2. And stop calling me Kate, you're pretending to be Kate

I wonder if the real Kate is on MN, unless Beedle really is HRH.

Generic I want marmalaaaaaarde

Sparks you should deffo become the next royal correspondant!

Hey baby. Come check out my damp cupboard. See how damp it is. Do you know what it needs? It needs some marmalade. Uh huh. Lime or orange. Yeah. Smooth or with bits (). Yeah, that's right baby, spread that marmalade in my cupboard. Nice and thick, oooh yeh baby. That's right. Loving your marmalade - so much better than Tiptree Ginger Preserve...

Ooh, sorry, just practising for tonight.

imps you have ruined marmalade for me forever.

Who knew you could be dirty with marmalade (clearly I have a sheltered upbringing)

I went to the same school as KM (although am MANY years older), and have the same name. But I'm not her.

Love the press release sparks

Off for a clothes swap now. Obviously I will be getting preggo ones. Except the poor friend who is hosting has been ttc for over a year now. She made the mistake of telling everyone they were starting to try, and now her husband has a hunted look.

OMG you lot have had a very eventful day. I have just read through and have been crying with laughter. DH just keeps shaking his head. Am loving the thought of a marmalade cupboard, and keeping peesticks in there. Wet rooms, numerous bathrooms, cellars and other rooms leading to be classed a posh. secret codes, damp cupboards, marmalade to DHs to let them know to get ready timing is good. Royalty spotting, so who is Kate and who is Sara? I am struggling to keep up for laughing.

far and shiny glad you are both doing ok, even though may only feel like funny things to eat.

Whim so did you confirm when you are going to pee on the stick currently residing in the MC? Did that get lost in the fact you had a MC at all?

Beedle implantation bleeding spotting stopped you say

Sparks the oral thrush sounds terrible, you poor thing. Obviously diffed though. Just keep that in your thoughts. Any other symptoms of note?

Hmmm, I just emailed OH and said that my damp cupboard was still damp. His response?

"I'm on the 18:37. Lovely evening isn't it?"

I don't want to bring the cheery tone down, but I was just thinking of all the ladies I had round last night. There were about 10 of us and I don't think anyone has had an entirely smooth time of things, reproductively. To list:
Friend 1: has 2 boys, both prem, would like more, but no longer with their dad.
Friend 2: has 2 girls, had really traumatic section with second. Chronic PND.
Friend 3: 2 straightforward pregnancies, and would love more but in disaggreement with her husband
Friend 4: unable to have more after first
Friends 5 and 6, both have 3 children, but have had a miscarriage btwn each successful pregnancy
Friend 7: 2 lovely boys (a new friend, so don't know their stories) Chronic PND. sometimes suicidal.
Friend 8: has 2 children, but lost a middle one at birth
Friend 9: her boyfriend lives in Uganda, so they spend a couple of months together a year until he can get a visa (3 years and counting). No children.
Friend 10: successfully pregnant after 2 years of IVF.

We're all normal ish. It was just interesting to reflect on how different, and often difficult, our stories all are.

Anyway, back to the marmalade...

It's a rocky road fo' shizzle Whims.

But more than that - I can't believe you have 10 friends who knit. I don't even have one

Imps I lurved your marmalade-based seduction! I am going to try that on DH tonight but I am certain it will be lost on him. Last night I actually had to ask if we could have sexual intercourse, just to be totally clear.

Maybe-Kate you have sneaked under our radar but I'm afraid we all know who you are now.

Sparks I vote you as royal correspondent too.

Wow Whim that is sad that you and your friends have had a tough time. I never dreamed it would be this difficult when we first started TTC DD.

Anyway, we are rat smackers and we want positive peesticks and we're damn well going to get them this month!

I'm so gutted I've not had a chance to post today - you lot have been having such fun. ("Such fun" - maybe if beedle & generic are posh now, I can be the posh mum off of Miranda then. "Such fun, Rat Smackerteers")

I really can't remember the details of what people were saying, sorry all. But, just to clarify, I don't have a wet room, or a marmalade cupboard

sparks definitely get thee to the docs about the oral thrush. My dd had it when she was a tiny baby, which apparently is quite common when they're breastfeeding (please, please do not think I am implying you have been doing anything untoward by this ). I just mention it as I know it was treated very easily!

Oh Little yes, you can be the posh mum and remember to whisper rude words such as marmalade and damp cupboard!

Whim, it justs goes to show, it's all so much harder than you first think.

Imps I am loving your technique. Im going to have to try that one for myself.

I can't get enough of avocados at the moment, I think I may have to have one. Surely that's a sure sign of updiffedness

What's everyone's plans this evening? I have just got a liver cake in the oven for the pup. It stinks

Yes! I want marmalade too but not out of imp's damp cupboard will leave that honour to her oh and preferably with a potato waffle chaser!

I am just about to get back home iin half an hour and then need to go to the office to sign something that a bastard is insisting on having pdfed tonight even though it would be perfectly fine for it to be emailed tomorrow. AIBU to punch client in the face.....? Hmmmmm

Omg maybe - I nearly sponatneously vomitted down my front reading about that liver cake. Only saving grace was managing to read on to see it wasn't for you!

what is liver cake? sounds gross! so glad it's for Otis

x-post shiny

Shiny you are preggers, therefore it is not unreasonable at all to punch him in the face

Oh God, can you imagine how vile it would be if liver cake became my soon to be confirmed pregnancy craving

I caved and am having my avocado. It's amazing!

Little I forgot to say, I def think you should be the posh mum!

And Imps, you do have knitting friends. Me, Whims, Pop, Scarlett? any others?

generic - did you actually say sexual intercourse in a Miranda- esque way to DH? Or lurve making a la Barry white?!

Thanks maybe - that's settled re the punch and saves me having to post in AIBU!

It would be completely vile if liver cake omg I could be sick just typing the word is the craving for your soon to be confirmed pregnancy. If that happened, I would have to very politely ask you not to mention that BY SHOUTING AT YOU EVERYTIME YOU DID!