Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Find your sea legs and sail on the seven seas in the BESH Pearl

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

Argh, and be welcome to our new pirate Fred. Be finding yourself a parrot and a wooden leg and hop on board for the trip of a lifetime. Argh.
If ye be new and wantin' to join our motley crew, be filling in the BESHtionnaire application below. Argh.

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

That's a "c", right there...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...

8. Lesbian crush?

9. What are your views on camping?

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

I like turn in the road too. Sob. Hiccup. Reverse park is difficult, but I can sort of see myself getting (very) slowly better at it. But at reversing round a corner I just get worse and worse.

I can't believe how long your infection is lasting - you must be worn out by it.

That's exactly it Northey. The pain isn't too bad now. I can tell it's getting better. I'm just wiped. I know cos I can see lots of bits I could do round the house but I'm sat watching The Holiday :) Taking me forever to get round to making a cuppa too.
Reverse round a corner is tricky. I'm sure you'll get there. Are you nearly ready to do your test?

I love that film. Though the Jack Black - Kate Winslet relationship is SO unconvincing. And don't even get me started on the awfulness of the "making up a song for Arthur" scene. Heave. Not that I know the whole film by heart or anything

No idea about test - my instructor hasn't mentioned it yet and I'm a bit embarrassed to ask. I've got to the end of everything I have to learn, but I'm a bit erratic about pulling things off on demand.

Went to bed and slept for an hour and feel better now.

Sleep is good :)
I found I just needed to keep practicing for a while once I'd been taught...
I think my friend who is in an on/off relationship with a married man long story, total mess but essentially he leaves his wife for her every so often then goes back to her. Both women take him back each time! needs to watch the scene when Iris gets some gumption!

I think I just need practice too. I will keep at it (so that when I have a baby I can drive it to places) and try to man up a bit before tomorrow's lesson!

Damn you, now I have "Aaaarthur, he's a doodley doo" as an earworm.

I'm not quite there yet :) scroodily doo!
Is it weird that I fancy Jack Black in this? Like, Jude Law is pretty but I just find his history puts me off him....I guess I like my men on the cuddly side Love the kids though.

I prefer Jack Black's looks, but I find his character in the film quite wet. I like cuddly men too. Pity AMNH is such a ruthless lover of running :(

Ah, we're there :) froodily doo

As I say, really, you can keep him bugs! Too pretty for my liking.
Will you do an opk this afternoon? Might that be positive? Go with your instincts. At least you've had the sechs recently :)

Arrrr shipmates.

This blasted droid is taking ages to show up. I've only just started spotting, even though it's been lurking since yesterday morning. Vengeful bastard!

[grumpy & fed up]

Arrr cavey. Make the Droid walk the plank! Pieces of eight!
Tv was so rubbish I went to put a film on, seems my copy of Mamma Mia went up in smoke :( so Sweet Home Alabama it is.

Droid here also. With emmense cramps that are knocking me for six. Ow owie ow. Have maxed out on diclofnac, paracetamol and codeine. In bed with hot water bottle and tea.

Metal fucker.

Did speak to ghj last night. Gave me a big hug and said he's sad too, but life is still pretty good at the moment He's a wise man that one. Made me cry a little, in a kind of good way.

It's obviously a season of general woe. Twenty lashes for all droids.

I am wondering if I'm shortly to succumb - this morning's tears, followed by another tearfest at AMMH and a feeling of off-colour crapness all point that way. That would give me an almost normal cycle of 30 something days!

Well that would be good Northey...almost normal cycle!
Glad to hear ghj is being supportive flamey. You really need that in the tough times.
I iz miz. Fed up being ill, now MSB is feeling sick, fed up of living in the house, fed up of dealing with cancer. Definitely fed up of ttc. Fed up. That is all. When I'm better, I'll be able to handle all the other crap. I'm sure I will.

Fingers crossed for resumption of normal cycle Norf

Sorry you're not feeling great Faithy, you've defo got the fuzzy end of the lollipop at the mo [strokes hair soothingly]

Droid has now shown up, and feels like the little fecker brought friends [ouch]
Typical really, my first day is always the worst and I've got to schlep down to that there London for a meeting this afternoon. I hate afternoon meetings in London, I'd rather get up early and have the meeting in the morning. Afternoon meetings mean I have to go to work for a few hours in the morning, then fight to find a parking space in the train station car park and then fight my way home again through rush hour traffic. I'll be lucky if I'm home before 7.30 tonight [grumpy]

In other news, I have decided to start drinking a glass of grapefruit juice everyday as I read that it can help increase CM. I know some people hate the taste (of the juice) but I don't mind it.

Hope everyone feels a bit chirpier today, if not we'll head off on a bounty hunting mission later [shoehorns pirate reference into post]

Woe all round. Sad gaaarrrhh.

faithy you just sound knackered and overwhelmed. Can you take any holidays/do something nice?

norf fingers crossed for regular droidal action. I feel your pain. My cd1 horror is somewhat eased by the fact that this is now my 3rd 34/5 day cycle. After yrs of highlights such as 400day appearances.

I'm in bed and feeling guilty. This is my day off, after working 2 weekends etc. Stupidly last week I said in passing that I'd 'pop' in this morning to help with some stuff. Now knackered am hiding under duvet. It is my day off. Argh. Cave, you're stronger than me, sloping down to that there London. Funny types down there.

Avast me hearties!

Sympathies for those suffering from droids and uti. They did turn up in force... Scattering rum and healthless grub all over the ship. I have decided it is health drive time, again. So me and SB started with chinese takeaway after too long at work yesterday . But the weather is so nice and spring like, me finks a lunchtime walk is on the cards.

Fanks for making me play the whole of the holibobs in my head too, it is rather pleasant. I'd opt for Jude Law in theory but not in practice, as he is just too pretty (and I prefer being the prettier one, for confidence purposes). Excellent distraction though faith and I hope you are patching up slowly but surely.

Afternoon rush hour is shite cave. Hope you survive okay! And the meeting is worf it.

sinky can you not refuse to go in?! It's your day off.
Boo to the Droid! cavey Kill it with painkillers. Stupid afternoon meetings should be banned.
Glad you enjoyed the re-run lemony! Trying to decide where watch next...
Rang into work. Boss says can I ring in at 4 today to say if I'm going to be fit for tomorrow.....hang on, I'll get my crystal ball out....

X-posts bugs thanks love. I feel wiped. Think I need to spell it out to my boss maybe not the ttc stuff because I'm not sure he gets what's really going on. He's only been my boss a couple of months.
Hope your car's ok bugs. Sure it'll be fine. I'm thinking of digging out tcoyf myself to remind myself.

Hello sailors.

Didn't go in to work. Am no longer hiding in bed. am now in the bath

How's the car bugs?

In more positive news, my mad cd1 calculations have revealed that last cycle was not the last chance for a 2012 baybee. This cycle would be edd 31dec. Does the fact I've worked this out make me mad?

I'm aware the correct answer is yes

This is my last shot too sinky. After your mad calculations last time, I double checked. My Edd would be about 21st December. Really not too optimistic.... about anything about this cycle. We'll be the sick sailors below deck eh?

Not really sure what I did with the last calculations.. And there you were, smiling and nodding, all the time thinking what a loon (!).

Have run out of my codeine (left over from the laparoscopy and lasers), so dosed up on diclofenac and paracetamol alone. And rum, of course.

While hiding below deck will be teaching Paul the parrot to swear more.