Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Find your sea legs and sail on the seven seas in the BESH Pearl

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

Argh, and be welcome to our new pirate Fred. Be finding yourself a parrot and a wooden leg and hop on board for the trip of a lifetime. Argh.
If ye be new and wantin' to join our motley crew, be filling in the BESHtionnaire application below. Argh.

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

That's a "c", right there...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...

8. Lesbian crush?

9. What are your views on camping?

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

Avast me hearties!

Forgot all about mother's day so far so fanks for the reminder, I'll call my mum (too late for more elaborate efforts!)

Now I know sechsing with a chance of a win is off the cards, all of a sudden it has regained its former interest. That is one good point of IUI (but I am in the midst of droidal floods, so maybe in a few days). But the rest of it is SHIT. I cried in the pub yesterday about the TTC-failures. SB is sad also, so that toppled me over the edge. On other news I have a chicken cooking for dinner as it's too late for lunch, I have done my paperwork of the past three months and I am here, clearly doing a bit of work... Oh and I went for a really gentle jog this morning. So I am good really. Except getting assistence and loosing my job.

I had no smug updates, my friends with baybees are clearly a) sensitive or b) too knackered. I guess the latter, as I did have a fresh bump picture in my timeline...

Eek! I have just seen someone in Conception saying "caught"!

Sorry if anyone here says it (I don't think any of you ever have, and it sounds decidedly unBESHly to me anyway), but UGH. I hate it more than babydust.

Caught?! eh?

norf caught is def dusty imho.

Btw I like your excellent response in chat dot. It teaches me again not to stray from the safety of nice freds into the big wide forum!

I don't mind wandering into chat. I quite like pottering in general and mental health too though most of the time I say 'go to your GP'! but sometimes the lack of being a Mum on MN does get to me. I put my two-penneth worth in on that Fred though, and told her to count her blessings!

Yeah I saw on eviction risk again have a huge hug for your doubly difficult Sunday. Hope you are okay.
Since crying in the pub yesterday, I actually feel much better. And I forgot all about today until I went online!

I'm not too bad. Bought Mum some lillies - her favourite. Currently scoffing haribo star mix while MSB watches his beloved man u beat Wolves.
On a random note, aibu to refuse to get an England bed spread even though MSB says he really, really wants it?!

Not unreasonable AT ALL

See with the Man U stuff he only went as far as putting one poster up in his 'playroom'. He does keep saying the baybee's room should have a man u border over my dead body But this would be in our bedroom! Just, no!

I am laughing unreasonably loudly (and must not tell SB, as he might think it a good idea too). I managed to relegate his "this is nice and neutral" grey and black striped bed spread to the desperate moments only corner of the cupboard. I prefer to sleep under high quality pretty girly stuff.

When I met AMNH, the only decoration in his room was a massive polyester Chelsea flag, held up inadequately by drawing pins in three corners only He also had no laundry basket (dirty clothes had a special corner of the room) and no wastepaper basket (I am embarrassed to tell you this, but he used a drawer from his chest of drawers for throwing away rubbish). He was 30, for heaven's sake.

When we moved in together, I made it very clear that this was not the kind of behaviour in which grown ups indulged. He complies, but I'm not sure he really gets it. If we broke up, I would expect the Chelsea flag to be back up within a week. Well, maybe not a week, as he wouldn't have the first idea where to find it. Probably he would buy a new one. Ten discover the old one. And hang them both up.

When I met The Mister and visited the shithole shared house he lived in I was horrifed. The kitchen should have been condemned and his bedroom was absolutely revolting. There was mould everywhere. When we moved I just made him bin all the bedding as it was foul. He definitely doesn't have the same standards of hygiene that I have and he usually takes a lot of nagging to help with the cleaning!

Fortunately he is not football obsessed by his Dad is. The bad thing is his Dad is a Man U supporter and my Dad is a Spurs supporter. If we ever have a child I fully expect the fathers to sent competing football strips and other shit memorabilia.

I think I have to resign myself that our future child/children may well be dressed in Man U attire. I am a Villa fan
Sounds like you've been rather productive bugs! We've just competed our ironing marathon. Just watching some more Boardwalk empire watch is good, if a little patchy. Keep saying who's that?

I iz a vile snob who loathes football kit type stuff for babies. Probably my first concern if I ever get diffed will be how to divert AMNH from acquiring any.

I suspect I would be fighting a losing battle!

Me too :(

Any spoglets here would get their very own baby rugby kits, rather than football. Not sure that's any better though.

We have 3 of those framed, really heavy, signed strips - 2 Celtic and 1 man u. They were ghj's brothers. (He sadly died, aged 23, and these are ghj's "inheritance"). They sit in a line along our spare bedroom. I think Id rather they were hung,but they're so bloody heavy I think they'd pull the wall down! Our house is thankfully otherwise memorabilia free.

Ghj is bringing me a takeaway after being away all day playing football. Should I tell him about the negative test? He knows I'm due on on tues, but I think he'll be gutted. Might just wait till the proper day and droid shows her metal fucker face.

I didn't realise til I Googled but I surprised MSB with that knowledge :) in retrospect I remember her being interviewed about it, making the telly across the pond. Good for her, she'd not done much since the cheesy deodorant ad!
Yes to the cringey slogans on baby grows, I suspect I'll be inundated but no swearing. That's too much!

Mornin' all. Argh, I be sick walkin' the plank! Taken the day off to hide in my cabin be under the duvet all day so I need you all to chat to me to cheer me up!

Extra ration of medicinal rum for you!

Waiting for my drivIng instructor to turn up. She is always late. Grrr.

Cheers Northey Must crawl out of bed to take an antibiotic.
That's very rude of your driving instructor. Tell her what for to walk the plank.

Driving lesson a disaster. I burst into tears reversing round a corner, and now I am a soggy mess who is just a failure in every area of her life.

I struggled massively learning to drive had 45 lessons in total! and especially hated reverse park, with reverse round a corner bringing up the rear. I liked turn in the road and of course, I got the first two in my test! I got there in the end and now I really like driving! You'll get there
I've made it downstairs and have taken the first antibiotic horse pill of the day. Still mot dressed though. Think my kidney is spasming. Not fun!