Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

[Curlylox]

Over here everyone

hi all, I've been a bit quiet but still trying to catch up on everyones stories having only been on here a few weeks. Sparkly welcome, sound similar to me in age, etc.For me the 2 week wait is over and not for me this month, instead of spending two days in tears read your posts and going to be positve for next month. Cycle is 28 day like clockwork, at 43 haven't done any tests as not going to do ivf etc so its just keep hoping that one month there will be one little egg left. I was late getting married and I am blessed with one little one the hardest thing is the what ifs, it was a very difficuly birth so it was about a year before i started trying seriously again and now I think what if we had tried a few months sooner was that our chance or what if we had got married 6 months earlier, sorry just rambling but know I can't think like that so feel if I put it down here then I can try and have positive thoughts.
Fingers crossed for everyone.

blackcats - just read your post about your FSH. Mine was measured at 9.5 in December (I had just turned 40) and then I fell pregnant straight away in April after DP had given up drinking and had 12wks of acupuncture - as his rapid progressive figure was only 4%. When we retested (just after we had conceived but didn't know it) this figure had gone up to 54%!!! In other words, I believe that I would have been pregnant easily with this FSH figure if we hadn't had to improve DP's fertility... I think you should be fine.

Commiserations to Tina - it's not easy to be told you need to think of IVF. I just hope that you have some luck trying naturally - this is a brave decision. Have you tried DHEA to possibly boost your af count?

Sparkly - my DP didn't really want more than one either. I think you need to hold on to your vision and get through the bits that are hard for them by being sympathetic but unswerving in what you want. Sounds tough but they do come round like you say.

Good luck to everyone and waving and sending hugs. How are you lovely Knicky - I can't believe people keep being so unsubtle and thoughtless about your DC2. My only positive thought is that this is because it's going to happen soon and they know something you don't...

thanks lol your story sounds so similar to mine, our consultant suggested natural ivf too but as you say the odds are around the same as trying naturally so we also decided to carry on trying with the final aim in around 8-12 months of trying donor eggs if it still didn't work. Although I must have a lot of duff eggs there still have to be some that are ok, it's just catching them! Your example gives me hope we can do this ourselves still; I'm not out yet!
Can I ask if you did anything differently before you finally conceived? Or was it more of a mindset thing; that deciding you were going to try natural ivf/donor eggs made you relax more perhaps? I'm trying to relax but the job I'm doing at the moment makes it very hard; I'm unhappy here and unfortunately tend to stress out (especially on a Monday morning lol)

thanks also for your kind words clickingtock I spoke to the consultant about DHEA but she said there isn't a lot of evidence around to show it improves your chances, and then it's only really useful in conjunction with IVF. Have you tried it yourself?

ps waves to everyone else!

Tina hi - it doesn't help that it's tipping down outside, does it? Monday's never seemed so grim.

I had the same as you - stressful job teaching which I loved but was beginning to find overwhelming. Also, my dp kept splitting from me as he was so sure he wanted more children and thought he ought to stop flogging a dead horse and find someone younger. You can imagine how I felt. My positive mindset after the follicle count DID help, I think. And I did start taking DHEA. When I took 50 mg my hair started to fall out - I think I only needed a mild dose. That's the trouble with buying DHEA online - you don't know how deficient you are until you try it. That said, no-one noticed my hair coming out except me. Good job I'd got lots of it!

I only took the DHEA pre-ovulation, btw. I think others on here have been prescribed it at 75mg doses and survived quite happily. I know Gum and Jolls or is it Curly have expert knowledge. I only took it for 2 months and I still can't tell you if it helped, but I can say that I would do it again in the same situation.

I emailed the nurse at the Zita West clinic (who had given me my AMH results and been frank but fair about my chances - 1.75% chance of bearing a live child) and told her my story so she could pass it on to others. She said that in her experience if you are prepared to 'hang in there' and endure MCs and disappointing months, there is a better chance than she had ever told me about. Hope this helps. Low AMH does not mean no eggs at all. Good news for all over 40!

Hi Tina - no evidence re' DHEA, that's right, but no evidence that it doesn't help either so... I did take it for 11 days per cycle up to ov (using CBFM to know when to stop, iykwim) from mid January and got a bfp end of April. I noticed a few spots around my hairline but no other effects. However, our real problems were with my DP's SA and he had 3 months of acupuncture and no booze plus manvits etc, which is what really led to our bfp if you ask me. We tested him in Jan when he got only 4% rapid progressive swimmers, then again in April (just before BFP but after SWI) and he went up to 54% after all the improvements he'd made! So I have a feeling that I wouldn't have struggled to get pg without DHEA. I certainly fell pg instantly aged 37 when male fertility wasn't our issue for some reason or other. Who will ever know? There are so many variables. But lots of evidence here that the stats don't count for much and you can beat the odds. Good luck!!

thanks both, well I'm willing to give dhea a try, gum. and anyone else who has tried this could you give me an idea of what you consider the best dose to try to start off with? And at what point in your cycle do you start taking it? I have plenty of hair but I'd rather not lose any of it ;-)

thanks again

Try 50mg and go up to 75mg if you feel ok. Start on CD1. x

Tina, I never took 75mg. I started with 25mg and then worked up to 50mg. I didn't take it religiously this month - in fact was pretty lazy with most of the supplements I take.

So, I haven't taken the correct dose of 75mg,because I did react to 50mg -my skin - had more pimples, and also losing some hair. I don't think I'll take it again, because it's been months,and so far no BFP. I only took it before ovulation.

Lol - your post is very heartening - that if we can just endure,we may get our baby. I just don't know how long I want to be ttc. It does seem to deter a bit from other things. I suppose I could take a low key approach, but who can do that when they really want to have a baby?

P.S. took a test at 8 dpo, and it's negative. I know,I know,way toooooooo early to test!

I still have sore 's, and even felt a little nauseous this morning - probably just PMS, but I hope it's something more....

hi all, quick update from me

baby girl born on Friday 11th May at 6.15pm - weight 8lb 6 oz. labour fine - frustrating as I had very irregular and weak contractions from around midnight on Thursday and thought it was the start of weeks of false labour. But baby born very quickly after contractions got going.

home on Saturday lunchtime to very smitten children. She is still nameless but gorgeous. worth every minute of the morning sickness, miscarriages and all the agonising on here and in rl. a positive story that it can happen after 40. I feel very lucky.

Thanks to you all for all of your support during the journey I took to get here, especially gum, hippy, italian diege jolls angel curly tank (oh blimely I'm going to miss people - but those who were there from the beginning with me and those who like me, had a horrible beginning to 2010) and thanks to everyone else I've met along the way. I don't think I got any more support from anyone irl.

beattiebow what fabulous news!! Hooray for you and your baby girl. Thanks so much for coming back to share your wonderful story with us.

blackcats FSH does seem to be a minefield and unpredictable, but seemingly able to be influenced... Mine was high, maybe even 12 or 13, so I was very depressed - but then I got a bfp, so go figure!

Congratulations Beattie - just wonderful news and what a good healthy weight she is. Well done! Enjoy these wonderful knackering early months. xxx

Many congratulations Beattie!!! Enjoy your beautiful baby girl - let us know her name when you have one!
Gum tut tut, you and your early testing . Fingers crossed for good news for you this month; I think the timing was good, no? Interesting what you say about the 10mth broodiness; I'll look out for that one
Still the house of sick here, though am in work as have appraisal at 2
Lots of good advice on here as always I see! Will try and pop in more regularly and keep up the cheerleading from the sidelines!

congratulations Beattie I'm thrilled for you :-)

gum good luck with your testing hope the sore 's continue!!

clickingtock thanks for sharing that with me. it helps me to stay positive.

congrats beattie, sounds like you had a good birth and a lovely daughter. enjoy.

Yes blackcats - stay positive and you will get there. xx

Congratulaions to Beattie, new here so haven't followed you but lovely news.
Mixed day for me, af arrived on sunday and got through it without the usual two days of tears. In last two days have had 3 people ask when I am having the next one, while at the same time they were commenting on people in 40's being too old, today was the best though when woman actually said, I wanted another one but was to old being 40!! I was there with my two year old born when I was 41, desperately trying to have another now I am 43 and best part she then said but you still have plenty of time I suppose!! I am trying to turn it into a positive in she must not think I look my age but yeah didn't know whether to laugh or cry to be honest.

That is lovely, lovely news Beattie! Hope all is well with you and your baby, and that you are enjoying much happiness together xx

No good news here I'm afraid as I started miscarrying a few days ago as expected, but don't want to bring the thread down when there has been such a wonderful annoucement so won't dwell on it. Thank you all for your kind words and support - I may very well be back, you never know . . .

Love and luck to everyone!

Oh BB congratulations! What fantastic and fabulous news, I'm so very pleased for you and also for your straight forward birth. Please do come back and let us know what you've named your beautiful little princess. and but a in case you're breastfeeding xxx

Huge congrats BB xxxx so glad alls well enjoy your babymoon!!!
You re very welcome for the support I ve had my fair share too!!! Xxx

Twirly - so so sorry to hear about the mc. I know how hard my losses were and I really feel for you. So bloody disappointing! Take care and as soon ad you feel able, try to take advantage of the fertile window post mc. X
Beattie - fabulous news about babyBB. We do seem to have been on this journey together for a flippin' long time - pleased the waiting paid off. X
Just a quick mention about DHEA - I take 50mg every day (I would stop if I ever got the illusive BFP). No side effects at all here - no spots or hair loss - but I know everone reacts differently. I guess I just hope that it will improve my eggs a teeny bit :)
Much love to all. X

Ps. I think that should be elusive not illusive!!!!! Call myself a TA????

BB OH CONGRATULATIONS!!! So so pleased for you and your lovely little girl!!! Delighted everyone is a smitten as they should be. And so cheered that all is going well after, as you say, a really s**t 2010/11. That was rough for lots of us, if I remember, but you had it particularly bad. Just so thrilled for you all. WELL DONE!!

Twirly I know you had prepared yourself but it doesn't lessen the heartbreak. Many of us have been where you are now (including BB above). Please put yourself first over the next few weeks as you recover. Our thoughts are with you. (((())))

Kiwibabe people do say the strangest things - almost as if they're thinking out loud, which they probably are. One new mum said to me yesterday that she was very worried about trying for a second baby at 40 as, 'you didn't know what you were going to get'. It's not the best thing a 46 year-old pregnant woman would wants to hear. Neither was the comment from 2 close friends and my Mum when I told them I was pregnant - 'You do know you could die, don't you?' . Interestingly, the midwives, nurses and consultants have never even mentioned my age. When I've brought it up they've said, in so many words, 'so what?' It is such a marked difference in attitude that I found it astonishing for the first few months. When I asked if they were 'ok' with me being older, they almost always said, 'you and the baby look fine to me. People have really outdated preconceptions of motherhood and age. I bet it wasn't so 'unusual' before contraception became available.

Congratulations beattiebow on the birth of your daughter, I haven't been here long but it's lovely news.

Very sorry to hear of your mc twirly, be nice to yourself.

lol your positive experience cheered me up, and together with beattiebow's news has reminded me that it's still possible.

kiwibabe I know what you mean about the "what ifs" but I'm looking at the positives in that at least we're trying now, otherwise I'd be miserable all the time. I got af on Sunday too, but by then I was expecting it. I think I was so down last week because it was at this stage when TTC DD that I got pregnant, but too expect it to be so straightforward now is not realistic I guess.

So with that in mind and now on cycle 4, I need to be a bit more pro-active I think. So do I really need to give up caffeine? I can live without coffee but not tea. Temping or OPKs or both? I usually work shifts, but I'm off them working on a project til the end of July, (hating the regular hours!) so I'm not sure if temping works well with shift work. Also, DH works away a lot over the summer and I'm pretty sure he's going to be away mid-cycle this month. Any suggestions/advice from all you lovely knowledgeable much appreciated.

keeping fingers crossed for hopeful

hi to everyone else. X

that should say lovely knowledgeable ladies. And I checked it before posting....