Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

[Curlylox]

Over here everyone

7 weeks, 4 days to go.... And Lol is not too far behind me. Thanks for asking Gum and Clicking.

Keep positive ladies. I never thought I'd get there at all, let alone naturally as have never been pregnant before and I have a blocked tube, so was told IVF was the best way forward, but the month after our last failed cycle, at 42, got our BFP.

Fertile, sticky vibes to all. FF xx

Hi all - no news here. Still no symptoms, so not feeling too optimistic really.

MiaAlexandra'sMummy - how are things with you?

Twirly - try not to worry about symptoms. I didn't have a jot of MS or anything and had a very healthy 42wk pregnancy and homebirth at 38 so not exactly a spring chicken. I know it's hard not to feel anxious...

Lovely to see you Knicks - I reckon you'll be sorted by Dec - I really hope so. Enjoy this week - it sounds quite hopeful given that DH will be home! EOD is plenty I reckon! V impressed re potty. DS is keen but I'm not at all consistent. Waiting for warmer weather or chickening out!

Fireflies - thanks for the encouragement. It's hard isn't it but we need to keep the faith. Keep well in these last weeks.

MAM - let us know how you're doing.

twirly - clicking says wise words with try not to worry about lack of symptoms, there's a lot of women on MN who have pregnancies symptom free. We're here to hold your hand and willing you on to have a smooth pregnancy.

clickingtock - definitely wait for the warmer weather for the potty training - a far more sensible plan than mine! that said definitely be prepared with enough spare pants, socks, shoes, trousers and patience . We went cold turkey from Good Friday and stayed in the whole of Easter weekend (bar from a trip to a farm on Easter Sunday when I felt like I was going a bit stir crazy....) I put a wash on once or twice a day for the first 10 days and have sent DD to nursery with practically a large suitcase of spare clothes and shoes for the past 2 weeks. Peppa Pig pants from Sainsburys have been my saviour.

Just a quick one from me, at my Olympic volunteer training as well as today being six months since Mia died... Just trying to keep it together. Much nausea throughout the day, as well as headaches here. We have booked a scan next week, as it will be 8 weeks. I have asked my family not to ask how I am, the pressure is simply too great.

Hippy runs in to give Miasmummy a big old hug. my heart goes out to you, my lovely. Six months is no time at all and you must still be enveloped in grief, shock, sadness and anger. I think of you often, keeping everything crossed for the little one who is quietly making its way in your womb - all the very best. one day at a time - for today you are pregnant.

Also sending good vibes to twirly - you too are preggers, Mrs.

Very excited about fireflies and lol - not long now ladies.

Much love to all the regulars - gum and italian especially because we have been on this thread for bleedin' ages waiting our turn patiently!!! (well maybe not so patiently XXX

MiaAlexandra'sMummy - I'm so sorry. Six months is absolutely nothing, my heart goes out to you. I really do wish that this all goes perfectly for you, take care x

Miasalexadersmummy xxxx hope you ve got through today. I ve had a crappy one 2 women at work have/are becoming grandmothers... It's so hard listening to their stories about worried they ve been but guess what all the babies are healthy & alive... Life really sucks at times. Had a big old cry tonight over my Georgie. Sending you big squishy hugs..... Xxx
Positive vibes for everyone else. Hope u re all well?? Xxxxx

misalexandersmummy huge, huge hugs to you, you brave lady. I am sure you do not always want to be brave! You are a wonderful person, a wonderful mum, and I am thinking of you as you wait for this scan to see how your little one is, and as you remember your beautiful Mia Alexander. With lots of love to you and arrow prayers for a peaceful time, even amid the morning sickness and sadness.

Beangrower I know we would all probably have liked to get pregnant naturally, IVF and ICSI etc is probably no one?s first choice, but if it helps you achieve your dreams then go for it. If it were not for IUI I am pretty sure I would not have my adorable DD.

Hugs to Hippy, Diege and Hopefulgum and co.

Dear Miaalexandrasmummy Can't believe you managed to summon the energy to do a days training on this anniversary, along with nausea and headaches. I hope you have been able to take some time to take it easy and remember your gorgeous little girl. A candle is burning here for her. Big hugs. xx

Sending loads of love from down here,too, Miasmummy, and AngelGeorgie,I believe your little ones are with you all the time, but I know that's no consellation for not having them earthside(((HUGS)))

Miasmummy - hope you find the scan reassuring.

Thanks Gum xxx

Sending love to those who have lost their LOs. Can't imagine the pain and just wish you the very best and deepest sympathy.

Italian - of course that makes sense - everyone would rather avoid assisted conception. I think I should have said that the frustration/surprise of secondary infertility has been magnified by the ease of conception first time round; just (stupidly) assumed we might squeeze one more in without problems. Just different to primary infertility but no more/less awful. Thanks for your encouragement. DP has agreed that we might have to try a private clinic after we get next SA results in early May. I haven't exactly mentioned the big old IVF (ICSI) words but we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

I am SO happy you got your DD - what a wonderful gift - and thank goodness for technologies that help us in our tough situations.

xxx

Hugs to miasmummy and angelgeorgie. There are times that it must feel like the enormity of your losses hit you like a ton of bricks and then some more. miasmummy thinking of you and willing you on through this pregnancy - it must be so unbelievably tough for you. I don't often pray, but praying that next week's scan brings good news xx

clicking agree about the surprise of secondary infertility has been tough given how easy it was also for us first time round. How naive was I??? Smiley face ov day today for me. Will see what this month brings and refuse to listen to any symptoms I think I have in a week or so's time.......it's all too easy to imagine things isn't it?

Not naive knicky - just straight forward and optimistic, which is the best way to be if you can. I do hope you have a fun couple of nights with your DP now and that it leads to a lovely juicy BFP; good luck on the 2ww as well, horrible as it is. xxx

Thank you clicking, a lovely post as always. Let's cross fingers for all of us this month xxx

Thank you everyone for all those lovely words and hugs, they are much needed, as I am still feeling very fragile today. A big 'wallop' of sadness has hit me, and all I want to do is cry. I miss my little red-head so much. I want this pg so much too, but I can't feel I have the right to get excited, it might be too much to bear...

Thanks Clicking & Knicky xxx hoping for your BFPs very soon. You re quite right sometimes the enormity of loosing Georgie is just too much to bear . Thanks xxxx
Miasmum xxxxx 1 day at a time. If today's a crap day indulge in it then hopefully tomorrow will be a little better. Take your time & allow yourself to grieve. I know what you mean about loosing this pg... But the only way I got through was try not to dwell too much & take it 1 stage at a time ie: I went from scan to scan ( every 2 weeks) xxxxx
Take care xxxxx
Love to all xxxxxx

I agree secondary infertility is hard, although we did have IUI for our DD it was quite easy! We had IUI for second time with one follicle and got very lucky/blessed!

Clicky are you beangrower or am I just confused?!

Miaalexandersmummy HUGE hugs to you. Please do for yourself whatever helps you to ease some of the pain. I can't begin to imagine how it feels but I do hope that around you are people in real life who will be a comfort. Thinking of you.

Hippy how goes it?

Diege, Hopeful and co, HUGE hugs.

Fireflies not long now.

Am I mad, just named my tomato plant Cassia!

Well, I didn't want to say anything Italian but now you come to mention it.... Could be sleep induced?

Tired and emotional waves to all. FF xx

Helloooo! Anyone out there? Gosh, it's gone a bit quiet on here. How is everyone? (would name check but doing this on blackberry and suspect I should keep this fairly short and sweet lest it decides to dislike my message and delete it before I get the chance to post it up).

All well at the knickyknocks pad, though could do with a bit more sun...you could build an ark in this weather! SWI week done and dusted and not feeling too hopeful. Have decided that the time is right to pop back and see the GP now. He said to give it a couple more months of trying which we duly have now.

Got to ask if anyone else feels/felt like this, but really feel as if life is on hold. We've been invited to DHs uncle's holiday to celebrating uncle's 60th birthday May 2013. Each month which rolls past I keep having to work out 9 months down the road and whether it would be possible to go. Would be a real shame to miss out and especially frustrating if we don't manage to conceive. Need to book soon but don't want to just in case we are successful and turned out to be bad timing either with us having a very young baby or me near my due date. Not that I am pregnant or close to being pregnant. Aaarghh! Very frustrating!

Right, rant over. Hope the sun is shining where you are (unlikely if you're GB based today!) XX

Hello Knicky It has been fairly quiet, hasn't it??!! Must have been something I said.

I'd say your feeling that life is on hold is perfectly normal. You need to come up with a Plan A and a Plan B for things - you'll find it easier. So, if you book to go to on holiday with DH's uncle to celebrate his 60th birthday, work out a way of making it refundable/changeable so if you can't go you don't lose all your money. You'll enjoy having something to look forward to, but if you have to cancel, you'll have the best reason ever. We've just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. When we started our first (failed) round of IVF last year, I worked out that it meant only 3 months to recover from potential birth before a huge party, and worried how I'd get thin enough in time to get into a gorgeous frock. As it failed we still had something to look forward to. Same with the second cycle - if it was a success we cancelled party, or if it failed, we still had it to look forward to. The second cycle failed, so I committed to a two year course, and still had anniversary party to look forward to. I do think that getting preggers at our age requires commitment and dedication, but if you can manage for it not to be the entire focus of your life then it's easier to deal with. Is good that you're going back to the GP though. You do need to take control of it while not letting it be everything in your life.

Crappy weather here too. Thinking of heading back to bed with kitty!!

Yes, I know that feeling. However, the way I've looked at it is, I'd do - almost - anything to have another child. So, if a pregnancy or new baby means losing money through cancelling flights, annoying people with changed plans, letting people down by not managing work commitments, that's nothing, absolutely nothing compared to what I'd be willing to lose/change/give for the chance of a chance. Things would be getting changed/cancelled/whatever for the best reason in the world so it all gets put into proportion.

I do think it's a good idea to keep going with life if you can though, and the advice in the post above is great - I've just been a bit rubbish at applying it to my own life!