Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

[Curlylox]

Over here everyone

Just running in to hug Italian gently (minding her pin cushion belly) and say again how amazing she is. XXXXXXX

And to add this for her because she does so like colourful posts - done on the phone so I hope it works.

Thank you 1000fireflies and Hippy i am doing lots of homework this evening before my appointment...

And of course thank you to my dear friend Italian - another big hug for you xxx

Hopefulgum thank you for your kind words. I will definitely pop back to see how you all are.

Hairy lovely to hear from you, I do hope you are doing well.

Blackcatdancing thank you for your lovely words. I am very hopeful that we can bring as much joy into a child's life as they will bring to us, but I don't want to be nieve, it will be tough and we will just have to take it one day at a time.

Thanks Hippy very pretty.

hugs dear pocket and all best wishes.

Hope everyone else is well. Missed the diner on Friday, any paella left?

oh Italian I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you.

Hello - haven't been on here for ages, but wanted to say sorry to hear Italian's news but I think fostering/adoption is a great and generous choice (also a plan B for us if we don't strike a BFP in the next year or so). Some peace in your life sounds like a very positive way to look ahead - prolonged TTC is an uncomfortable time and I wouldn't wish it on anyone in the world. Your journey is taking a new direction and it sounds really positive.

Waving to a few other familiars and enjoying all the BFPs flying around.

I've got a quick question for Jollster (and sorry to hear of your earlier losses but so pleased you are 15w now) - did you take DHEA only during the ovulatory phase during those 9 months pre-BFP or including the luteal phase? I started doing the former in January although my hormones seem quite good for my age of 40 (it turns out that DP has low-fertility swimmers rather than me being the issue). I'm wondering whether to carry on with the DHEA but feel like it's not doing any harm while we wait to see if lifestyle changes and acupuncture improve the SA. Any thoughts much appreciated.

Keep up the good SWI ladies! And very good luck to you all.

Hello fellow 40s may I join you?

I am on the unlikely to conceive side as first dd was IVF after 5 years of ttc, however I have had one mc since having her (7wks -devastating) and a possible very early miscarriage about a month ago. I am now emotionally half way between feeling very blessed to have one and longing for the two kids I'd always dreamed of.

I have a question, I am 10 days late now with BFNs. Do any of you experience an occasional missed af? Should I be worried and see docs or do you think it is an age thing! ( I'm 42)

Thanks
Mags

Hi Mags - sorry to hear about your loss, must be terribly hard. But thank goodness for your DD. I have just one too; don't know what I'd be like without my DD who is just turned 2.

It does seem odd to have such a late AF. Do you temp? I guess it could be annovulatory but you usually still have a bleed of sorts... Worth checking in with GP anyway?

Sorry - I have a DS not DD! Doh!

Hmmm. Thought an anovulatory would mean no bleed at all. I have always been so regular I find this AWOL af very unsettling. Was quite excited until the two BFNs which dashed my hopes and left me anxious.

retro how perplexing. Could it be that your body is simply readjusting itself if you did have an early mc a month ago? It can take some time. As for being pg, I am 42 and got a BFP two weeks ago, so that option is not impossible either...

Retro - I think that MiaAlexandrasMummy may be right. I've had early miscarriages too and my periods aren't always bang on afterwards - in fact, even with a very early one at about six or seven weeks, I think that it took about six weeks for my cycle to start again. With the later-but-still-early (if you see what I mean), I think it was about the same.

I'm very sorry to hear of your losses .

MiaAlexandrasMummy - how are you?

Beangrower and BB thanks for your kind words.

RetromMagiie welcome and very sorry to hear of your losses. I am afraid periods etc are now a dark mystery to me, so will allow someone wiser to answer. But welcome.

Hugs to all.

PS Going to have a glass of wine while I do the washing up, just because I can! Do you think I can also eat one of DD's Lindt Easter bunnies????

italian just do it, choc and wine is divine :)

beangrower, yes I took 75mg a day every day, probably for about 8 months, stopping in December only when I got cheesed off swallowing so many supplements, was also taking agnus castus and extra folic acid and a pregnancy vitamin. Who knows if it made a difference. It's all such a blimmin' lottery isn't it? :(

Had a consultant appt today (as I'm in the Recurrent MC clinic), and had a quick scan. 15+2, and all fine. Have even been wearing a few maternity pieces, don't really need to yet, but it sort of comforts me .

waves to all x

PS beangrower I also had monthly acu, targeted just before ovulation. Then weekly once I got a BFP

Bunny ears gone, jolly made me do it!

Just wanted to say to retro & I used to be very regular and then just recently I had a couple of cycles that were about 50 days long and totally threw me. I've now been temping for the last couple of months and they do seem normal again. I do put this down to agnus castus which I take EVERY DAY and possibly DHEA which I also take every day (50mg). I would stop if I got a BFP although at 45 a BFP seems unlikely. I must add though that I have no medical background and therefore cannot officially recommend DHEA and AC.

Thanks for that Jolls - I was wondering whether to take it every day,or just up to ovulation. Beangrower - I've taken it for the first part of the cycle for about 4 or 5 months. Now I think I'll take it all cycle,but I'm going to stick with 50 mg.I'm also taking Vitex in the hope I'll miraculously make a big perfect egg one of these months. Surely there's one decent one left?

Hippy have you found that the DHEA makes you feel any different? I hear many women say they have more energy. Others have side effects - losing hair and acne.Have you had any side-effects? I haven't had much,so I'm thinking I may actually need a bit of DHEA. I don't know if it makes any difference with my energy levels which seems to fluctuate and is still affected by my 3 year old DS who still doesn't sleep through and rises early every day.I don't know what I'm thinking when it comes to having a baby who would add to the sleep deprivation.

Retro - after my second miscarriage it took AGES for my period to return to normal. I was terrified I'd slipped into menopause. Turns out my body took a long time to recover, and I think it was about 80 days. I've never been so relieved for AF to come (except maybe when I was 19 and risking it!).I'm so sorry for your losses. It is hard isn't it?

It's a busy week here in the Gum household. Dh returned a couple of days ago (sadly, shagging two days post O isn't going to get me up-duffed), and DD1 has gone away for the week. Other DD is having a friend sleep over.My MIL and SIL are coming for dinner tonight and I have appointments everyday for the next few days. Acupuncture on Thursday - looking forward to that.Phew!

Then it's back to work on Monday (we are on Easter break).I'm really enjoying my little break,am ignoring the marking pile,and doing a bit of gardening, knitting and tidying.

I hope everyone is feeling well and positive...

Hi I'm new and not sure if I am on the correct page, I basically just want to share my story, firstly I have a 2 year old so know how lucky i am already. I desperately would love another but turned 43 a few months ago. I had a miscarriage a year ago and have been trying every month since then, sometimes wonder if we tried to hard but its not easy to just let a month go hoping the timing is right. My periods are regular and I have a positive ov test every month, Its harder to deal with every month it doesn't happen but I just don't feel I can give up yet. We haven't had any testing as I know age is against me and other half not keen on that route. I just needed to say all this out loud, friends all two or three kids and don't understand.

Firstly, apologies to italian in being so late in this message. Having read your news this morning, wanted to send you hugs and re-iterate others messages from the weekend. Your messages are always so thoughtful and generous to others. You sound a wonderful Mum, and your DD and any potential adoptee will have the most amazing life with you. My friend who couldn't have children has just gone through the adoption process and now has two wonderful boys. Both of whom called her Mummy from the off. She is happier than I've ever seen. MummyofmissM said it far more eloquently in her post than I ever could when she said we must be wiling to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. A wonderful sentiment and so true. Thinking of you and sending you hugs - enjoy that glass of wine
xxxxx

kiwibabe welcome to the thread. I'm in a similar situation to you. Have a DD who is 2 and a half, and have been TTC for about 14 months. I've just turned 40, and the whole cycle of TTC is not getting any easier. I've had some initial blood tests and at present there's no explanation bar from my own conclusion that it's my age. I've had a chem p/g and a m/c in the past year, so have been able to get pg but not been able to stay pg.

jolls, lovely to hear things are going smoothly. I say wear those maternity clothes with pride!

retro, I agree with MAM that it may be your periods just trying to readjust again after the M/C? Mine were up the spout a bit after my m/cs....

MAM how are you doing?

No news from me particularly, just gearing myself up for another cycle. If I were to get pg this month it wouldn't be particularly great timing as DH will be working loads of additional shifts for the olympic period (starting June to September) just as I'd be going through the first trimester. With DD I had pretty bad morning sickness. Dealing with that, and a 2 and a half year old and with no support network worries me, but feel I can't hold off trying for a month as I don't have the luxury of time on my side .

Love to all others beangrower, hippy, angel, beattiebow, diege, pocket, blackcats and anyone else I've forgotton to namecheck.....xx

Doh. Very early MC was a year ago not a month. Sorry for the confusion.

Thanks so much for your lovely support.

HippyChick - may be time for me to reach for Agnus. Thanks.

Kiwibabe - yes, I've been finding it hard to voice how I feel, thank goodness for MN!

Thanks to everyone else who has posted responses, having spent many hours in this conception topic before dd Under another guise) I may not be a very prolific poster ... but will be reading and lurking with interest and affection.

kiwibabe welcome, this is the spot for voicing your uncertainties, as well as hope... lots of expertise here, if you want to ask further questions. I have learnt a tremendous amount from these ladies.

twirly and knicky thanks for asking how I am. I go silent when I worry, and I am feeling very paranoid and un-pg (only bouts of nausea and thirst), hence not being on here much. Went to GP today to get myself into the system, and have asked if I can be considered for consultant-led care, or at least, more intensive monitoring of some sort. He hadn't even heard of vasa previa, and asked if I meant placenta previa, and will ask the midwife to do a home visit to kick things off and discuss options. We have also booked a private scan in two weeks' time. My parents have offered us financial support if I wanted to go completely private (standard in Australia, as you have pregnancy care covered by health insurance), but as I don't understand that side of things at all, and if it would benefit me being outside of London, I don't know.

Just feeling so nervous, and have had to say to my family not to ask how I am every time we speak because of this. I am glad I told them, but their constant worry from afar doesn't help my state of mind. Today was supposed to be our first appointment with AGRC, but have obviously cancelled. I guess there is symmetry in having the GP appointment instead.

No symptoms here either MiaAlexandrasMummy . . .

Thankyou for your welcome, it feels better just to have said how I feel, and to know there are other people out there. I don't feel too old but don't know if I just need to let it go as not meant to be, that is way easier said than done. Every month I try to think if it doesn't happen I'll be fine and every month it gets worse when I realise I am not pregnant. Going to try the ovulation tests for another month, although have tried before, during and after positives before! Is anyone else around 43 and trying naturally

Not 43 yet, but I have a friend living nearby who tried naturally for her first at 44, had one MC then six months later fell pg and now has an adorable 2yo DS born when she was 45. Plus lots of other examples of mums with toddlers and babies in their 40s.