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Conception

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The rat smacketeers are brooking no argument!! All for one BFP and one BFP for all!

979 replies

Imps7 · 16/02/2012 22:00

Smacket on, ladies...

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CupcakesAndCocktails · 17/02/2012 10:21

Wow a girl! Congratulations Ninja Smile

Thanks for the sympathy about working the weekend. Its my job and I've not really got a right to moan but I appreciate the sympathy anyway Grin

Imps you are right it's hard to be a woman. If only we could be more open irl. I find it easier to be happy for ppl on here who get there BFPs, maybe it's because we share the journey with each other? And we are aware of what the other person has been going through?

NoMaybeAboutIt · 17/02/2012 10:30

Ah, Ninja that's fab news!! How exciting!

Imps it is hard being a woman. It's tough knowing that I won't be employed if I am pregnant when I finish my PhD. DH and I were talking about this at the weekend, but we both said that you could constantly be putting your life on hold if you don't just go for it and TTC regardless. I don't think people realise (I certainly didn't) how long it can take to finally conceive, and I don't think I could stay miserable in work until that happened.

Pop that article has made me a little sad and annoyed. I also don't like the use of the word bitter. I think it has painted a very ugly picture of women TTC. Yes, it is tough every time you hear someone announce a pregnancy, but hand on heart, I am happy for them (except Janine in Eastenders) Wink

Rant over Grin

Imps you know me too well. Baking is exactly what I meant!!

Imps7 · 17/02/2012 10:37

Ooh, speaking of which, I made macaroons for the first time at the weekend! They were fab and looked like proper ones!! I'll try to add a picture to my profile as I was dead chuffed with them...

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ScrambledSmegs · 17/02/2012 10:53

Just nipping in to mark my place on the new thread. Wifi in short supply in rural NZ, so will check in properly when I'm back in the UK and over the worst of the jet-lag.

FX for lots of BFP's soon! I'm on CD2, v galling as I was convinced that I was pg this month - AF was late and I had massive sore boobs, plus I was hot as hell and Blush trumping disgustingly Blush. Arseing body, playing me up again Angry.

CupcakesAndCocktails · 17/02/2012 10:54

I've just read back and wanted to clarify that I am happy for everyone in rl who gets a BFP and wish them healthy babies. BUT I find it a bit easier to manage my emotions on here.

I think ppl can be a insensitive if they have no experience of it. We had some friends over for tea on Wednesday (they are more DHs friends as he works with the guy). They got married recently and where regularly making comments about us getting pregnant. So my DH agreed we should tell them about our struggle ttc in order to avoid the incessant questions. We did so before the Christmas and the questions did stop. Anyway on Wednesday they told us they have just started to ttc and they will be very disappointed if it doesn't happen quickly as their close friends got pregnant on their first try and they don't want to be left behind!!!

How I managed to keep the conversation going I don't know. My DH was very upset about it which is the first time I've ever seen him get upset about the possibility of someone getting pregnant before us.

CupcakesAndCocktails · 17/02/2012 10:56

Stupid AF Smegs however welcome to day 1 of your pregnancy Grin are you in NZ for work?

Imps7 · 17/02/2012 11:01

Oh Cupcakes well done you for not having said something rude to them. Luckily most people think that OH and I don't want children so the questions aren't that frequent (although still annoying when they do appear...). My bestest buds are very insensitive towards other people though - they conceived all three of their children in the first month of trying (I know!) and really don't have a clue about the normal reality of TTC. Mutual friends of ours got married in June, and last time we all met up the mega-fertile couple were saying to the newly weds "everyone married couple we know have got pregnant within a year of the wedding so you'd better hurry up..." - what a ghastly thing to say. It really made me cross, although I bit my tongue as it wasn't directed at me and the other couple did perfectly well fending them off themselves.

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Imps7 · 17/02/2012 11:02

Grrr Smegs bum and arse to AF playing you up like that. When are you back in the UK?

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PopcornMouse · 17/02/2012 11:10

I don't know, I think I was becoming (and still am, if I'm honest - like the article says, it doesn't seem to go away) quite bitter about it all. It's not that I'm not happy for my friends and family who've fallen pg immediately, but it has left me with a sour taste in my mouth ? I think I'd say I'm bitter about the experience, not the other people's good fortune iykwim. But mostly ttc is just a terribly lonely and isolating place.

cupcakes people do say the most insensitive, thoughtless things, don't they? :(

Awww smegs stupid AF Angry

NoMaybeAboutIt · 17/02/2012 11:11

Oh Cup I knew you meant that. I was just Angry at the way the article wrote such scathing things. You are very good for biting your tongue. I think we have been quite lucky that we haven't had too many comments, and our close friends know we are trying and are having a bit of a tough time with it.

Imps that is an awful thing to say, some people just don't think before they open their mouths do they.

Smegs what an arse she is. I hope you are enjoying NZ though and that it is a nice refreshing break for you.

Imps I really want to try making macaroons. What flavour did you make? I would also quite like to try making whoopie pies....

PopcornMouse · 17/02/2012 11:11

Imps that's awful Shock

ScrambledSmegs · 17/02/2012 11:19

Thanks Cupcakes and Imps (sorry, can't remember how to bold on phone!). I'm always amazed at people who lack sensitivity about ttc - lots of my friends had trouble conceiving, although all but one couple have at least one child. How can you possibly not realise that it's just not that simple for everyone?!

We're back next Thursday. Looking forward to arriving home and seeing my brand new kitchen! Hope it is actually finished, could be a bit tricky otherwise Hmm.

Imps7 · 17/02/2012 11:21

Okay, macaroon photo should be on my profile...

They were just plain meringue (sprinkled with a little cocoa powder) and coffee buttercream filling - wanted to make sure they worked before experimenting with exotic flavourings and fillings! I used this book - they were really easy and worked a treat.

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Imps7 · 17/02/2012 11:22

Hmm, the photos make them look massive - they weren't, they were normal macaroon size!

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beangrower · 17/02/2012 11:24

God people are bunch of twatheads sometimes, aren't they Imps? It's funny - I feel like I've had the range of experiences. Unwanted teenage pg Sad; very quick healthy pg; protracted TTC. All had difficult aspects strangely enough (with DS I felt a bit mean towards DP as we'd only been living together 2 months and he was already thrust into life with a pg woman!) I agree with Pop though, I will never forget how hard TTC has been, whatever the outcome. Really felt for Cupcakes when she said a 'bit sick and scared' that it might never happen. Want to give her a massive hug and all the brooking I can muster. Bitter is the wrong word. HURT and sad and sometimes quite panicky, but not bitter. Btw the word bitter was also used on the latest gender selection thread - aimed at anyone who suggested it was insensitive. Not a kind choice of words at all.

But you know this TTC - if doesn't kill us, it will make us stronger. I hope that doesn't make us crass but I feel like we have a sense of what's important and we are probably far more considerate to other people... And pissed off that we're not diffed, of course. That won't ever go away will it?

I need macaroons in my life too, I think.

beangrower · 17/02/2012 11:25

Btw - Sorry Smegs - its a real focker when you think you've nailed that rat but AF just does her worst anyway. Keep going and we're brooking... xxx

PopcornMouse · 17/02/2012 11:28

I have never had a macaroon Imps though they look lovely. What are they like? They look a bit like a cross between meringue and those pink wafer biscuit thingies?

Imps7 · 17/02/2012 11:31

They're a fairly dense slightly chewy meringue with cream filling (well, mine were - I'm ignoring the possibility that they're actually supposed to be crispy and lighter than air...) and really yummy. Excellent way of using up egg whites too - I always seem to have leftover egg whites in my freezer.

You have such wise words as always Bean!

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beangrower · 17/02/2012 11:35

Wise but not yet pg, Imps. But HEY, onwards and beanwards, go we Smacketeers.

I want your meringues. I have meringue envy. I have become bitter. I can't go in the same room as a woman with meringues. I will have to park some friendships.

beangrower · 17/02/2012 11:36

I mean macaroons of course. (Damn that killed the joke.)

NoMaybeAboutIt · 17/02/2012 11:37

Oooh, Imps they look amazing.

That's quit a good description Pop Grin they are very light and moreish.

Bean you are right, this will make us stronger in the long run scared and hurt are definitely words I use a lot. It is just a matter of time for us all, just sometimes I wish the time would speed up a bit Smile

farfallarocks · 17/02/2012 11:37

smegs I am so sorry about AF, especially with all those promsiing symptoms.
You are all so right.
This experience has definitely done something to me, am still hoping for a happy ending but I feel like its sort of opened up a 3rd eye for me which will probably never close. I am much more aware of people's pain and suffereing, not about TTC necessarily but everything. I think I breezed through life before, most things went my way, I think I was quite naive. I cringe at some of the things I must have said to people before TTC was an issue for me. It has also made me agknowledge some cracks in our relationship, I take over and fix things, Dh sort of goes along with everything, this is the first time I have not been able just to steam in and fix something for us, he has chip in. Hopefully it will make us stronger for it. I hope I will never take things for granted after this

Stasi · 17/02/2012 11:37

Morning everyone, thread has been moving fast today! I haven't read the article yet as I'm in work and it's taken enough time reading back through the thread already :)

I still have a bit of discomfort from the HSG yesterday, which has me a little worried. It's all on the right side, and I think is due to the trapped dye in the tube. It's not very painful, but noticeable, and making me worry a little. The post-op sheet says all discomfort will "certainly" be gone by the next day, and it hasn't. Hmm

I have to say I'm not really bitter about the TTC journey so far, I have been exceptionally lucky though, as the only person ever to ask us about having kids has been my Mum, and she only talks to me about once every few months. I started out being very open with my sister and Dad, as they've always known I've wanted children, and post chemo I guess there was always a chance it wouldn't be straightforward, so maybe they were prepared not to assume. Also, I've only experienced 2 pg people since starting TTC, both childhood friends who live a long way away now, and I never really talk to.

I do find myself trying to make things 'normal' though, which I think is how I avoid the panic. It's why I'm so calm about the blocked tube and the slightly poor swimmers. It means we're not 'unexplained' infertility, we're just challenged, and these last 18 months are a reflection of something which can be easily explained, and more importantly, does not mean we're "infertile". We will get there, it'll just take more time. I'd be much, much more worried if all tests had come back as normal - weird as that may sound.

Smegs I'm sorry AF got you after such promising symptoms. I hope you get to spend some time distracting yourself while in NZ. I was there a couple of years ago, on the North Island and really enjoyed it. Even though DH was working for the first week, and we were in a boring little uni town with nothing to do. I went over to Christchurch for the day too, in the tiniest plane I've ever seen. I remember finding the earthquake pictures all the more shocking as I could recognise the places I'd been so recently.
Olives thanks for letting me know about the tubes being mobile, I had no idea! It does up my chances a bit, which is nice to know. I'll probably end up spending quite a bit of my lunch break reading about it all, as I find medical things really interesting/fascinating.

I should get back to work before someone looks at my screen. No plans for the weekend just yet, though I want to do some stuff in the garden, so if it stays nice I may end up out there, preparing for Spring!

NoMaybeAboutIt · 17/02/2012 11:38

Grin Grin Beans

CupcakesAndCocktails · 17/02/2012 12:02

Thanks very much for the hugs and brooking Bean it made me well up. The macaroon envy actually made me laugh out loud. I think my fellow shoppers think I'm now insane Grin

I have also got macaroon envy, Imps you better post me some ASAP Smile

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