BESH Cassidy and the Nekkid-dance Kid - walk like John Wayne into our Wild West saloon.

[Northey]

TTC on the frontier of polite society . Shoot outs compulsory.

New joiners will be welcomed after completing the Beshtionnaire and showing us their blazing saddle.

Welcome lemonista. Sounds like you'll fit right in. Go on, full shameful crush, you're among friends now I admitted to Niles from Frasier, can't be worse than that actually I'd now go for David the scientist guy from Friends. Super geek!
Yes to horseys name. Mine is Strider, a black stallion. Tis fun also to give your OH a cheesey nickname instead of 'DH/DP' e.g. mine is MSB aka Mr Squidgy Baybee. He is squidgy, we want a baybee and he likes to sing the haribo supermix advert a lot

Wasn't yours Kevin, buglet?

Thanks for the lovely mighty fine welcome!! I reckon the worst crush is Patrick Swayze in Point Break although I seem to have plenty to choose from. And I am passed that now...

As to horsey, did I fail to introduce Jolly Jumper, borrowed from my lucky pal

What do you want to know? I am currently stuck at home with a broken right collar bone, so I'll be around a lot... When I work I go missing from mumsnet for days because they monitor our internet usage.

Bugs you are with my ex-bf

Debating a cheesy name for the other half - skinny bint comes to mind (when he weighs less than me and is a good 7 inches taller). Hmmm... Not sure. Oh and I am officially of beshist age (33).

And me. Am staring hungrily and creepily at other people's babies in Caffe Nero. Am going to be arrested soon unless I manage to look more normal.

lemons, just whatever springs to mind. Is this for your first, how long have you been going for, any diagnosed problems, any favourite soapbox ttc rants...

bugs Kevin brings another crush to mind Carlos Bernard (or Tony from 24, the earlier series). Now I've started...

And north look away from the pram, now! Or you will really have to make a getaway to the far west.

My favourite rant is: no I really, really do not need your uberfertile tips on using O-sticks/putting my legs up/just relaxing and a baybee will materialise instantly. We are beyond that now... Nor do I need to know that "it went quicker than expected, but it is really welcome" or

The gory details are: 20 months TTC for baybee 1 (while both sisters have had their Third Bloody Baybee in the meantime); unexplained, relatively young in the barren stakes (33) and thus being fobbed off with IUI from the next droid. Which will happen because sechsing with a broken collar bone hurts. Like hell. (We did try).

Oh and I lurked because you lot seem to have a lovely mixture of ranting and laughter. Ok, now translate that into cowboy-eesh. And I don't stand a chance...

I give my approval to the newbie

Just a thought, perhaps we should put the BEDHtionnaire in the OP of each new fred? Saves potential new victims recruits having to dig out old BESH threads.

Good idea. We're nearly ready for a new fred, come to that. Any ideas on the next one?

Yay, Lemon. Good see you over here. You seem to have passed muster, which is good. They can be a tough crowd .

bugs me too, lovely, me too. My temp fell off a cliff this morning and my abdomen feels odd so I think Droid's arrival is imminent. Meh. I KNOW WHAT'S COMING. JUST GET THE FECK ON WITH IT NOW, EH? Ahem.

Well I think you're officially a BESH lemons! Exciting!
jewels how are you feeling?
I'm a mardy, irrational cow poor MSB. Stuck on holiday with me like this. Can only assume it's pre-Droid gloom.
How about a space theme?

Thanks for Besheptance. Should I spit on the floor a bit more? Looking casual while swaggering back into the saloon (whilst being mentally assaulted by the memories of too many embarassing crushes, I am not sure I can cope with this)

Sorry for your collective near arrival of droids, euro and bugs. Can't believe it is nearly IVF time, euro and I am appropriately grateful for my BESH status (and quietly wondering after how long I get to taste those mysterious mint M&Ms - just kidding).

Sorry you are being grumpy on hols Phee. I hate it when TTC manages to interfere with good things! On our summer hols last year, we had a bit of a downer with one of the rare times droid was overdue, we bought a pee-stick, it was negative, droid arrived with loads of (actual) rain and general misery... It took us a few days to regroup.

(and of course we were camping - rain, droid, misery - not the best holiday)

lemon, I shall look out for some for you the very next time I am in the appropriate neck of the woods (prob next Wed). Just don't spoil it by sprinkling babydust in the meantime.

north no need - I need a diet and not M&Ms! And I am not quite ready to give up anonymity. And I don't know how to explain it to SB.

But thanks anyhow. Anyone for more gin. I really have done nothing this afternoon!

I am in a pub drinking cider it was raining so we had no choice but to sit back down and have a drink....
Diets don't work! Paul Mckenna does :) I swear by it.
BTW the way, some BESH things you need to know/confirm... yes you were right with your beshtionnaire, we have no 'aunt' here. Period is known as Droid. We say luff not love...um, we call it the sechs. Any more anyone?

Fred not thread?

Indeed. Womble not womb?

Pliz = please

We also often talk as if we are foreigners with a poor grasp of English:
Pliz to be completing BESHtionnaire = would you mind awfully filling out our little questionnaire.

lemon - you have inadvertently revealed the shocking truth of camping at 14:14 today despite your bestionnaire being incorrect.

Many an ESH has fallen at the camping hurdle. Nothing brings on a Droid faster than erecting a tent or casually tossing your camping gear in to the back of your car. The further you pitch from the toilet block, the heavier your Droid will be.

BESHFACT.

Ooh just realised I got Droid before Hsg whilst camping spooky!
pone! How the devil are you?

Worse than droid while camping is BFN on a camping loo (squat down model). Really the low-point of TTC so far (and considering the extensive investigations we've had since, that is saying something).

The one BESH-thing you need to explain is the fishes thing. As in hitting people with it, rather than sleeping with them.

Have you had a Godfather fred? I'd actually be okay at that...

Btw I also got Droid on an Indian overnight train. Is that a well known BESH-fact?

pone! As you are here, and a wise native American tribal elder an ESH of long standing, is that what the camping question is all about?