Good morning BESHters
Sorry not to have been contributing/engaging recently. I have been following all the goings on, but have been busy which when you're new to an established group makes it feel that much harder to pitch in and contribute on the hoof. Delurking def easier than then coming good on the delurk. Will try harder. Would like both to prove myself worfy to add to the fred and also to use this as a safe space too over coming months...
A very close friend is now overdue with her first (her EDD was 29 Feb). We both struggled to manage the juxtaposition of her preg and my miscarriage - she found out she was preg literally days before I MC, and couldn't find a way to tell me for ages, and it all ended up getting a bit emotionally messy. Such a shame for both of us - I missed having her there for the post MC time and she hasn't really had a best friend through her first pregnancy. But we have managed to make some peace with that recently, and now I really want to be there to be good friend for her for that vulnerable post-natal time but some handholding elsewhere to help me do that would be good.
I don't have many outlets in RL to share the conflicted feelings that arise from people you love having babies that you will love, and being happy about both those things but it making you sad at the same time.
In same vein one of my SILs (well, she's a SoutL really, as me and the JJ aren't the marrying types) is also now a week overdue with her DC2. Much less emotionally complex than with my best friend, but still a little tough.
Anyway, have been awake and insomniac since about 3 am today and have finally embraced the morning. Small part of me is indulging fantasy that I might still go for a pre-work run in a bit a la the athlete fee. Larger part of me expects that I will stay in bed with laptop and cafetiere until I am very nearly late for work.
JJ jizzed in pot for the good folks at the NHS early last week. Results expected today [nervous]
Anyway, I do appreciate that the traditional way to win friends and influence people is not to do huge me me me posts with nary an acknowledgement of others. Apols. Its the sleeplessness and coffee speaking. At least I have spared you the earnest question about the state of my pant snot that I am dying to ask. I do have some social mores.
Just to end on hopeful note though we did learn this week that friends of ours who have been trying for over 3 years with at least 4 MC are now 18 weeks with twins following first round IVF - irony being that only one embryo was implanted but it divided! So they are totally kacking it, but overjoyed.