Assisted Conception (and all the bits that go with it) volume 9

[Scrummybumb]

A new snug for us AC ladies

Thanks Keziah it really is much easier dropping out of this process having already have our miracle baby 7 years ago. I know it must be very tough for the ladies trying to get their first baby and if I am honest I expect I would not able to give up yet if we had not already had one amazing miracle. Give David a hug from me.

Quick post, on phone. Test was negative. We're both devastated. Debating next move now.

Italian I am so so sorry, I hope you are ok. I'm glad you feel you can move on. I hope I can eventually feel that way and you have given me hope

Italian I am so so sorry to hear your news. I find your postings so hit the mark helpful, gentle and kind we will miss you. I can hear the peace in your words I hope dh is the same. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Don't forget your repeat blood test and I would seriously be getting an answer from Dr as to why they thought it was so low. Hugs and best wishes.

Hugs to Josie have posted on other thread

Dear Josie so sorry about your news. Thinking of you and DH. x

Italian I truly wish you all the happiness in the world for the future, whatever shape it may take. I don't think for one second any of this journey has been a waste of time or money. We are all made up of all the things, big or little, that happen to us, and we wouldn't be who we are without them. However hard this has been (and I don't want to belittle that for one second), this has made you who you are, and you are truly a beautiful person, and this will shape the way you raise your DD and all your relationships going forward. I don't know what 'plan' there is in store for you, but I really believe that something good will come of this, and I am so happy that you and your DH have found a sense of peace. Coming out of this so strong and so focused is truly a testament to your bond as a couple and a family, and your DD is a very lucky girl to have such an amazing mother. I am only sad that we won't get to see you as much on here, but do stop by if you can to say hello.

Josie I am so sorry to hear your news, and am thinking of you and your DH. When you are ready do pop in and let us know how you are feeling, but totally understand you need some time away to deal with this. Big hugs to you.

Scrummy 5 out of 6 is really good. They told us average was 70% fertilisation rate, so you are way above that. If EC was Friday, I presume that ET will either be Monday or Wednesday, depending on whether they go to blastocyst. The first night for me after EC was terrible as well as I was so uncomfortable and lying down just made it worse, but I did feel slightly better every 12 hours or so, so it does get better. If you've exhausted normal tv then get yourself in to a box set - that definitely helps pass the time and I have various recommendations if you need them. Wishing you wonderful, growing, healthy embryos.

Sunnyg I kind of agree with Scrummy about going back to work. I totally underestimated how uncomfortable I would be after EC, and I definitely needed the day off after as well. I had told work i was having an operation, and told them I expected to be off just that one day, but may need the next day as well if I didn't feel well. Not sure how things are at your work, but that may be an option to leave it open as a sick day. I also worked from home for a few days which helped, but i know that's not an option for everyone. Dealing with work is very difficult, and having my EC fall over Easter really was a blessing as it gave me days off without having to ask.

Waves to everyone else and hope you are all well. xx

Hi everyone, thank you all for your lovely messages. We're both doing ok, absolutely gutted as you would imagine, but life goes on. I'm now faced with the difficult decision o what to do next. I can't afford private, so we have 2 more NHS goes left. However, I don't know if this includes donor eggs, and if it does, our best chance might be to settle in for the long wait to find a donor. If not, I'm willing to try again while we're waiting for a donor. However, the world being the bitch she is, I imagine our 2 chances include with donor eggs. I'm also apprehensive about doing the same treatment, as the chances are the same thing will happen, so I'm going to speak to a nearby NHS clinic tomorrow to see if they offer any different protocols, as I'll try with another medication. It's just really scary to think that we have 2 more chances to get pregnant and if they don't work, that's it forever. Most people have 12 chances every year, we have three in our whole lives, it's so unfair.

Italian I'll be really sorry not to speak to you anymore but I totally understand where you're coming from. I wish you all the best for your future, you really are an amazing, and incredibly strong woman

Thanks for all your tips for my first immunes appointment - I am SO glad i am doing this. Btw, my thyroid and clotting tests have come back as normal, which has calmed me somewhat.

CareBear thanks for your links on the other thread - i'm looking at these. And am def happy to compare notes...

Kezia hope little David no longer has green nails

Maple how are you doing? Hope you're managing to distract yourself

Scrummy hope you're feeling better - when is transfer. Thinking of you this week x

Josie it makes sense to talk to another clinic to fully understand your options. Best of luck and hope you get some to help you move forward. x

Badger hope your appointment goes well tomorrow x

Italian sending you a big hug - a one-armed one since you'll have a glass of wine in one hand!

Italian I am very sorry to hear your news. You have been always been so wise and so kind to all of us here, so you will be terribly missed. But whether you choose to foster or adopt, that child is going to be so lucky to have you and DH and DD. And that's really it isn't it. Naturally we all crave our own biological child, but when I really think about it, think hard about it, it's really about completing your family, whether it's child number 1 or 2. It's about having that family unit, to go on picnic's with, to take to swimming lessons and to give your life that purpose. Regardless of how that child came to you. Thanks for everything, I haven't been on here long, but you've always been such a pillar of strength so I'll miss you. All the best for your very bright future!

Josie so sorry to hear also your news. My heart really sank for you. You've got a lot to think about and a lot to process. I know you don't' want to waste too much time deciding but at this point the only advice I can give is to gather as much information as you can, so you are full armed and make people, whoever you speak to (doc, nurses, consultants) explain things to you in plain and real terms. Knowledge is power and all that. Big hugs to you and your DH at this difficult time.

Josie talking to other clinics is a good idea, as that way you can get more information. I found the more information I had the better choices I could make. I don't know if NHS funds with donor eggs, however I do know that if they fund 3 cycles that they will not fund 2 cycles with your eggs and then fund cycles with donor eggs. If you get your protocol so that you have embies to freeze they will however fund frozen eggs transfers until you get a BFP - so it could be more than 2 NHS funded attempts ... so if next go you get one put in and 3 to freeze and a bfn they will fund the 3 frozen ones to be put inside you and if they don't take you can still have an NHS funded fresh cycle. However, you are fortunate to get 3 NHS attempts, many areas only do one attempt now and some not at all (hence many people saving for years, going into debt etc) - so you should be able to get changed medication and protocol and a changed clinic on NHS if there are other clinics in your area, to give you greater chances.

Pocket no nails now grown so quickly they could be cut, thankfully!!

Italian - so sorry your long journey for a sibling is over. So thankful that you have your dd, but know that the desire for a sibling is just as important as that first child. However, i think you know you did everything you could to provide a sibling so far for your dd and hopefully that will give you added peace as you move on in your journey. Am so happy to hear that you have peace at this stage in your journey, a deep faith to help you (doesn't mean life isn't hard at times in this journey though - ditto for me) and a supportive dh. Will pray that you don't face unneccessary delays in the next stage of your journey to complete your family. Having ourselves had our natural miracle, I already know I would love to have a sibling but after 7 years and immune treatments needed for our beloved son and reading of your journey I know that it realistically may not happen and if it did it would not be a simple journey. God bless x

Josie and Italian I was so disappointed for you both with your negative tests. My heart goes out to you both x

Josie and Italian I just wanted to add that I am thinking of you both too.

Josie my darling I am so very sorry.

Josie I am sure I will pop back on and talk to all you lovely ladies.

I am so sorry this has not worked but you do have two more chances and you can keep trying naturally in between, you never know, Keziah had a little miracle baby when she was not on a fertility cycle after years of trying so you never know. I think it is a really good idea to see what other clinics can offer. each cycle is different, usually whether it works or not is down to the individual egg. I have been told (can anyone correct me?) that it is about 75 or 80% down to the egg whether it will work or not. So people can have one cycle with one drug and it not work (like we did with our first IUI cycle and we had two follicles) and then have the same drug the next time (like we did with our second IUI cycle and only one follicle that time - and got pregnant!). So please do not be too disheartened. You are right it is totally unfair that your having this problem. Thinking of you.

I mean the other 20-25% is factors like the womb etc.

Bugsylugs thank you, I will get the old anemia checked out, have got appointment booked for next week.

Mini what lovely kind words. I will pop back and see you all, and yes, I agree, nothing is wasted.

Scrummy when is ET? All best wishes. If you want a box set recommendation can I recommend Cadfael or The Good Wife - the two extreams if life!

Thanks sunnyg for your lovely comments.

vallinnapod thank you my dear.

Badger hugs to you, how are plans shaping up with slippery clinic?

Josie - Keziah has lots of knowledge and it sounds like you may get more goes, we were too old before we started this process to get any on NHS, it is a bit of a 'lottery' to use that over-used word! I agree with Sunnyg advice, get the doctors to put stuff in plain terms so it is easy to understand and go armed with lots of questions.

Keziah darling don't worry too much about your next step, it may not be so hard. We never really found out why I had problems producing eggs or getting pregnant, but you know the immunes worked or you so maybe when you are ready you can get immunes drugs and again see what happens. All best wishes for your future, stay in touch if you would like to, you know where I am.

Thanks Pocket I'll have a glass of wine too now, now that I can!

josie i'm so sorry to hear your news, but don't give up the fight. Even if you can't afford private treatment, it may be worth getting a consultation with a private clinic - could you afford that? And you are quite young still, are you now? So, maybe you could start a savings plan towards it in the long run, whilst taking advantage of the funding through NHS first?

Thanks Italian minih and pocket for asking about ET. We fully expected ET to take place today, but it seems that all 5 of my embryos are top grade, so we're going for blast. So, depending on how they progress, ET will be Wednesday or Thursday. Still recovering from EC, slow progress here. I did call the clinic today as I had a really bad night, but it all seems normal, so just sitting it out.

italian - thanks for the tips re box sets - i will look these out. Hope you are still in good spirits. I'm watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills....hilarious

lucy and lissy - there is an article in this month's Vogue that has a mention of ARGC - one of the comments is how shabby the place looks. Well, you wouldn't recognise the place now - they have a new front desk, modern toilets, TV in waiting room, new scanners - still the same organised chaos though :)

sunnyg - how are you getting on with the medication?
minih - hope you are managing to stay calm...

Wow Scrummy 5 top grade! Congratulations! Good luck with blast. I'd second Italian's suggestion of The Good Wife for good box set viewing (and I LOVE all of the Real Housewives series, so funny!).

I had another scan today and thankfully my womb lining is playing ball so moving on to Gonal F this evening. I am so relieved that the clinic have not had to cancel my treatment!! Phew.

Italian such wise words for Josie. We will really miss you!

Josie how did you get on today with contacting other NHS clinics? I know how expensive private clinics are, which is why I'm so fortunate I can egg-share. But as scrummy said perhaps you could still use up any other cycles offered by the NHS and then start a savings plan at the same time. But hopefully another NHS cycle would work and you wouldn't need it. I've often been told (and I've been both at a NHS clinic and now private) that often the first cycle of treatment, whether it's IVF or IUI is a lot about the clinic learning about you. Also as an egg-sharer I know that some clinics who offer this can mean that the wait time for donor eggs isn't that bad, well not like years and years anyway. Maybe that's because there's two parties with both vested interest in it and putting pressure on them to match you up. I know that while I was waiting to be matched with my recipient I was contacting the clinic a lot, trying to keep the pressure on a bit. Just some food for thought my dear.

Scrummy woo hoo your embies are going blasto! That is really great news. I don't want to jinx things for you scrummy but I don't know why I've got a good feeling about this cycle for you. Sorry to hear you are still recovering from EC. Is that quite normal?

Thanks also for your advice scrummy& and mini* about time off from work. After your advice I built myself up to send my boss an email today explaining I had some medical treatment coming up and that I'd be late in a few days (scans) and I may need up to 3 days off over a period for some small procedures. As I've only been working here since January and only recently been made permanent I'm not keen to divulge much more. To add to this I work at a school, so obviously time off inside term time doesn't usually go down so well. Saying this so far this school (I worked at as school previously and had one 1 IUI cycle there and it was a nightmare and part of the reason I gave it up) has been much more relaxed and my boss so far has been great. But still as I'm sure you'll understand discussing this fertility business can be hard enough with close family and friends let along work colleagues you barely know. So I sent the email and and first I thought all was fine. My boss didn't seem bothered. Just as I was about to leave she called me over and said she'll need some evidence for these appointments/days off. At first I felt quite sick, just memories of a bad work place but also having to divulge that information to a new boss. But I've calmed down and sent an email to my clinic to see if they can write me a letter without stating 'fertility treatment'. I mean it's not as if I'm asking for time off as sick pay or paid leave. I would make this time off up, which I can easily do over the next school holidays. So fingers crossed I can get a letter from the clinic and that'll be it. I hate this work business though. It's stress you don't need at a time which is already stressful enough.

Thanks for asking about the medication scrummy. All going fine. Getting DH to do injections, not because I'm funny about needles bout I'm just a bit uncoordinated at it! Had some pretty nasty headaches weirdly about the same time (afternoon) for the past 3 days, but drinking heaps of water (and going to the loo all the time!) so just getting on with it. As we all do..

Oh and forgot to say I did get the Zita West CD. Listened first time last night, and perhaps I was just shattered but did make me feel very relaxed. Pretty much fell asleep to it!

badger that is really great news. Onwards and upwards with treatment. I know you must be relieved to say the least. Excellent news!

mini how's the bench treating you? Hope you doing okay?

Hi everyone, thank you for your comments, definitely food for thought. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment - friend just posted a pic of her 31 week bump on fb, I'm so jealous it hurts. Anyway, couldn't get through to the other clinic today so will try again tomorrow, fingers crossed we can try something different. Kezia thanks for your advice.

I best go helpd DH now as he's building me a pond! (Got to keep myself busy [smile)

Ooh Scrummy how exciting. I literally got a shiver from head to toe when I read your post. Huge hug to you and your blastos

Great news Badger I am so pleased today went to plan