Assisted Conception (and all the bits that go with it) volume 9

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A new snug for us AC ladies

Bugsy sounds like you were in good hands today

Have you had the op before? I wasnt that keen and therefore opted to give the natural way a go first - it was just like a heavy and long period but I had virtually no pain at all. I have almost stopped bleeding (sorry if tmi) so will probably go for a scan next week to make sure everything is gone. If not, gulp, then I too will need the op.

Let's hope we can get all this behind us soon and then we can properly move on x

Mo luv I am soooo sorry. I feel teary all over again today, for you. I will be thinking of you today my friend.

Bugsy I am so glad to hear the appointment was okay. Obviously still terrible but at least it was okay.

Wishing you all a lovely, restful weekend. oxox

And thanks everyone for your wishes and thoughts. Really means a lot to know others are following your journey with genuine care and interest.

Sorry to hear that Sunny

So sorry Mo, my thoughts are with your and your DH

Bugsy it wounds like your nurse was very good (given the circumstances), I hope you?re doing ok

Nothing to say about me except I?m boycotting fb at least for the weekend. My friend put one of those stupid baby counter things on so now i know exactly how far along she is, how big her baby is, whether it has fingernails etc and it really upset me to come across it yesterday. So I?ve decided that if I don?t punish myself by going on fb, at least while I?m feeling sorry for myself, it might help me stop dwelling on it as much. And I?m sick of people telling me not to give up, maybe they should try it! I?m used to going through bad patches in life, but they don?t usually last this long, and as there?s not much sign of the light at the end of the tunnel, I?m getting tired of fighting a constant and losing battle. Anyway, ignore me, seriously, I get like this on the first week of the 2ww, every month, I?ll be fine soon, just want to get Tuesday?s appt out of the way, I?m praying they?re going to do something and not just say ?go away and keep trying?

Jodie sorry you are feeling lower today. Cannot remember how long you have been TTC. Who is spot with on Tues.
pocket am not def having op hence why pencilled in for over a weeks time. Have never had op. in sep cons I liked advised trying nature and stopping progesterone I started to bleed on 3rd day hopefully today. Was like v v heavy period for first day few blips on way. Repeat scan some products given antibiotics for a week repeat scan small amount of products cons advised leaving as op dangerous for so small amount. Care offered me another scan per treatment to ensure gone but as period was very heavy I did not was all gone at down reg. so if small no op may be needed.

Mo am so very sorry Thinking of you, DH and DS and as others have said, hope you can find some peace and comfort

sunny so sorry to hear your news too. I really glad to hear that you have the consultations lined-up and am hoping something very special comes from the back luck you've had so far x.

bugsy you sound really strong but am sorry for all the sh*ttiness you now have to go through x.

josie turning-off fb sounds like a good idea! Really hope Tuesday brings good news and you're not fobbed off.

Mo I'm so sorry about your BFN. Thinking of you and your family.

Hello everyone - not sure what happened but I lost you all for a few days but have managed to find you again :)

Very sad to hear your news mo and sunny and bugsy hope you are holding up. I think it's horrific that they expect you to sit in the same waiting room as pg women - as if you are not going through enough.....

I went to see consultant for a scan to check things all OK this morning and have been told to carry on the injections and go back Sunday for another scan. Looks like egg collection will be 6th or 7th Feb. I am trying to be relaxed about it all but starting to dawn on me how much it will hurt if it doesn't work. It's easy talking about 'going to do IVF' but this is when I find out if my eggs are old codgers and not up for it and I need to start preparing myself I think.

Anyway glad I found you all again I was starting to panic !

Weller I can almost imagine how you feel, I'm hoping they'll send us for IVF soon but everyone thinks 'oh loads of people have IVF, it's nothing' but actually I imagine it's very emotionally difficult, even before you know whether or not it's worked, and no matter how many people know people who've had it successfully, that doesn't mean it'll work for you so the worry I imagine is very very difficult. Fingers crossed everything goes to plan for you

Bugsy we've been trying for 20 months now, appt is with the fertility clinic on Tuesday after my HSG and AMH tests to discuss the results, after I received a letter telling me my egg reserves are low and that I have reduced fertility AIBU to be annoyed I was told this in a letter?

Not at all unreasonable . It is never acceptable to tell someone bad news in a letter where you cannot ask questions get support. I would point it out to them they may not have thought about it they see it all the time and may not realise how it affects you. ( i was once in a rural area on unlit road this car was following me so I slowed down to pull over so it could pass it pulled in i was bricking it so sped off having hit the verge. Turns out it was an unmarked police car they had seen me drive past did a number check and realised i was not my dad. They flashed me down asked me what was wrong as i had started driving erratically i explained how scared they had made me thought they were madmen they appologised and said they had not thought of that). They will not tell you to go away and try for a bit longer with a the time you have been trying and your results. Good luck you will soon have some answers.

Try not to worry too much about AMH yet friend is currently 12 weeks preg with AMH of 0.53 natural conception

Thanks Bugsy I hope you're doing ok too. I did think they might not realise how it comes across so I thought I would tell them (cos I'm so forward these days ) If I had of been more confident when I received the letter I would have phoned them to discuss it, but as it was, I was a nervous wreck so didn't have the courage to ring. I figure there's not point now as I'll be there on Tuesday, I just have to boycott google too!

Mojangled, sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN. I hope you find peace with everything, and get loads of love and support from your DH.

bugsy- How awful for you to have to sit in a waiting room with other pregnant ladies. I'm glad the nurse was so caring, and I hope you feel better soon. What's the next step for you?

sunny- Let the egg-sharing journey begin! Although I wished hard for your BFP, I know that having a contingency plan in place is comforting. Looking forward to hearing how you get on with your clinic appointments.

weller- How exciting for you! It's only a week and a half away for you!

scrummy- I know how it feels to hear your immunes results. You don't really think anything could possibly come back raised or abnormal, but then it does. Intralipids is WAY less expensive than IVIG, and it is soy-based, so take comfort that you'll only be shelling out about £300 for each course as opposed to £1500 for IVIG. I had intralipids three times, once before EC, once after ET, and then another when I was about six or seven weeks. And while you're waiting for your scans and leafing through your file, you'll see what a difference the treatment makes in your blood test results.

pocket- How are you doing, love?

Josie- I hope you feel better soon. Remember, you also have a plan in motion, so try not to let yourself sink too low. We're all here, rooting for you, try to take comfort in that.

lucy- How are you feeling? And Teds? Keziah?

Italian- How are you doing?

AFM, I am officially scheduled to be induced on February 20, if I don't go before. The consultant wanted to do a fetal fibronectin (?) swab, which would show whether or not I would go into preterm labor, then thought better of it, because if I went into labor now they wouldn't stop me from having the baby. Baby weighs a little over five pounds, is head down, and everything measures normally. Have another scan on February 6. Having some cramping and sharp twinges, thinking it might be Braxton-Hicks. Final antenatal class tomorrow, and unofficially done with work except for a couple of days next week.

Sorry if I missed anyone. Sending love, hugs, baby dust, and chocolate boobs to everyone.

Sunny and Mo thinking of you. xxx

Bugsy how are you feeling?

Weller glad you're making progress, 6 Feb will be here before you know it. Here's to some good eggs, it only takes one

Josie great that your appointment is finally here - you've been very patient (more than I generally am!). Hope you get some helpful answers.

Lissy I'm doing okay thanks Hugely excited for you as you'll have that little one in your arms very soon

Kezia, Lucy, Teds and Beginnnings how are you and your bumps. Hope you're all well and being spoilt by everyone!

Italian how are you? We misse you xxx Were you expecting some results in Jan? hope everyting is okay

I have a scan is booked for Monday - I'm hoping and praying that there is nothing left so that I can move on quickly AND so that I don?t have to have the ERPC.

Hi to anyone i've missed xxx

Hello all feeling v down as IVF abandoned yesterday due to no response to drugs at all. Appears I responded better just on small dose menopur when I had the failed IUI but still only had 2 follies then. Seeing consultant in a couple of weeks to discuss options, mainly egg donation I guess. Feeling like i have let DP down although he keeps telling me I haven't. He is so lovely and good to me it makes me even more sad that I can't make another one of him

Ah wellerbabe I am so sorry for your cancelled cycle. Repeat after us 'it is not your fault' it is outside your control. If you had the control and choice you would have been there by now. I am glad dh is being supportive . Take some time to grieve and care for yourselves

Weller I'm so very very sorry about your cancelled cycle. It's awful having got so geared up, and finally doing something pro-active, to have everything collapse. I understand about feeling like you've let everyone down, I felt that too, but you know it's not true, listen to your lovely DH. When you're able to look into things again, you might want to check out Dr Geeta Nargund's clinic Create - they specialise in natural cycles for us gals whose ovaries dont like being stimulated. Hugs to you.

Bugsy you're being amazing but I hope it's over quickly for you.

Pocket good luck for your scan today.

Far too much bad news on the thread at the moment.

Onto nicer things, Lissy it's great that you're almost all set to go! Enjoy your pre-baby maternity leave.

Bugsy can you tell us more about your natural conception/low AMH friend? I need something positive to think about.

A very bad weekend for me, trying to come to terms with the end of TTC. It turns out that while I can just about stand this cycle having failed, I have no idea how to even start dealing with not trying anymore. I still want another baby just as much and giving up feels like looking into a massive dark chasm. I've learned something about myself here; my only coping mechanism is to try to solve problems.

I had a horrible shock too. Following a suggestion on this thread, I asked the liaison nurse for my clinic about immunes ahead of the last cycle. She never really answered but the suggestion was that antibiotics and steroids were covering things off, and I got the impression that she didn't really know about anything else. It didnt seem possible to get the tests done anywhere else ahead of the cycle so I left it. Last weekend I was poking around the internet and found an account on FF that described the full immune testing and treatment package available at my clinic. I'm devastated to think that there might have been something we could have done, and we didnt do it.

And can Scrummy / Lissy / Italian or anyone else with experience of immune issues shed some light for me?

Hi All

I feel guilty about a small moan here from me when many of you have been coping with much worse things recently. But it's just a wee moan, and I've just got to get it out. So have first appt tomorrow at possible egg sharing clinic. Of course with time being of the essence (here comes 35 and the cut off) I want to be all prepared and be able to hit the ground running. Although I've put in an official request for my medical records from UCH, they've said this is going to take an unbelievable 40 days!!! However I was told that I should at least be able to get copies of recent tests from clinic immediately eg. blood tests, all std tests and DH's latest sample results. But was told today that's a flat out no and I'll just have to wait my 40 days. Can you believe it! I know there are procedures and all, but having to wait literally 2 months for these could really be cutting a fine line with getting onto a programme before 35.

Sorry just feeling very impatient about this. Want to help me (obviously) but egg sharing is also about helping someone else. So annoying.

Okay rant over, will just need to get on with it.

Thanks for listening ladies!

And Weller I am very sorry to hear about your cancelled cycle luv. I've not yet had IVF, but having 2 IUI cycles I know the build up and feelings of hope you have at the start of the cycle. If I get a chance to egg-share before bureaucracy beats me to 35 I would love to give some of my eggies to you dear!

Mo that is so frustrating to learn now that potentially some immune testing could have been done. I don't know much about this, but is there something that you can do now? It's just that you don't yet sound done. I know it's been a terribly long and painful journey for you but it sounds like there's some fuel in the engine yet?

Weller my love, I'm so sorry to hear about your abandoned cycle. DH sounds wonderfully lovely, and very wise to say that of course you haven't let him down! If we had control over this whole situation, would any of us have to be involved with assisted conception? Take care of yourself, let DH spoil you, and have a cry. What's your next step?

Mojangled- How horribly frustrating to find out that your clinic offered immunes testing! At ARGC, they do a full panel, which they send to Chicago. They test you about a week or two into your down-regulating phase, although I think if you were on the short protocol they would do it sooner. It takes about five days to get the results. Depending on the results, they will put you on Humira, as they did in lucy's case, for high cytokines, or they will recommend a course or three of intralipids or IVIG for high natural killer cells, which is where I fell. ARGC continued to monitor my immune levels until I was about 20 weeks pregnant. I had intralipids before my egg collection, after my embryo transfer, and again when I was about six weeks pregnant. After I became pregnant I was put on prednisolone, which is also a treatment for immune issues. If you are indeed thinking of trying again, this is definitely an avenue to pursue. ARGC's view is that women who have recurrent miscarriages or cycle failures have some sort of immune issue, and their rate of success is so high because they treat these immune issues consistently throughout. I'm not sure where you live, but I know there are other clinics who will do the immunes (Chicago) tests.

sunny- Makes you want to bang your head against the wall, doesn't it? I'm American, and if we want our records for any reason, despite having to pay a small fee, we get them pretty quickly. Everything in this country is so frustratingly backwards and slow! I'm hoping the clinic will understand the delay, and get you started no matter what!

bugsy- Hope you're doing ok...

Pocket- Thanks for the encouragement. I sometimes feel a little reluctant posting about my imminent arrival, but then I know that all the ladies on this thread will get their bundles of joy soon.

Italian- Are you around? Thinking of you, love...

Hope Teds, lucy, and beginnings are feeling well. My newest update is shooting pains in my lady-parts (sorry TMI!). Baby's head sitting on a nerve? Cervix starting to dilate? Who the heck knows.

Weller sweetie so sorry about your cycle - its just cr*p, hang on in there. Could the Dr adjust your meds and let you try again? As for 'letting DP down' and not being able to help 'make another one of him' although i had the same thoughts myself, please don?t give up hope. Donor eggs might be a solution - but you might still be able to use your own eggs.

Oh Mojangled honey - you sound sad and I'm sorry. Plus the immunes thing seems to be exacerbating things which is cr*p. Are you in London? Do you fancy going out and getting terribly drunk?

Sunny I'm shocked and disappointed that your clinic can't be a bit more reasonable - its cr*p of them not to really understand. This small thing from them could make a huge difference - assume you've told them about the timeliness, made a scene or spoken to supervisor etc???

Lissy I was on prendisolone from the start - I've asked twice about immunes and been told that this should suffice. What do you think? Please never ever be reluctant to post about your little one, whatever is going on, its always gorgeous to hear some good news xxx

AFM, guess what cr*p update. Body has not managed to deal with the aftermath, so i need to go for an erpc - which i'm dreading (hate ga, dont want to take time off work and fear the afterbleed)... but what can you do? . Am trying to fix up a date - really want this sorted sooner than later.

crp crp cr*p

Pocket I am so sorry that you have to have an ERPC, but I wanted to try to reassure you that it's not too bad. I had one and was dreading it (especially the GA too), but it was all over v quickly (I think the procedure itself takes about 20 mins so from the time you go under to come out again is about an hour). I went in early morn and was home by lunch time. I was pretty sleepy that day, but felt OK (if a little washed out physically) the next day. But I also remember feeling surprisingly elated and happy just after. I don't know if this is a common side effect of a GA (doubt it), or just relief that it was all over and I could start again. You're having a really rubbish time of it, but it will soon be over, and then good things will start happening again.

Lissy I love your updates and am very excited for your imminent arrival! Please don't feel guilty talking about the late stages of your pregnancy. You have provided us all with much encouragement, wisdom and information, and we're delighted that things have worked out for you.

Mojangled sorry to hear of your crap weekend. I can't add to what Lissy has said on ARGC procedure, but, wanted to also say that I have a friend who is paying for IVF at a local NHS hospital and having her immunes tested/treated at the Lister, so IF you were going to have another try, I'm sure this could be done while going abroad for DEIVF. Also, sorry if I'm being to nosey, but were you at Serum, Athens? If not, I think they do immunes as well as DEIVF don't they (maybe not, I only did a little bit of research). Either way, I hope you are treating yourself kindly, and whatever you decide we're here for you.

Weller, what a terrible disappointment for you. I do hope you're feeling a little better and have listened to your DH's reassurances. He sounds lovely. Are you in London? I'm sorry, I lose track of where everyone is. Maybe they'll discuss donor eggs, maybe they won't, but if they do and you don't feel ready quite yet, it could be worth getting a second opinion. Apart from being treated at ARGC, which I would of course thoroughly recommend, I also went to see a lovely lady at the Lister who has a special interest in treating ladies with high FSH and low AMH. She filled me with hope instead of despair, despite being 40 with a low ovarian reserve.

And Sunny that's just plain frustrating. I guess you've tried all the other things people have suggested (tears, complaints, going in and photocopying the bloody things yourself). If it's any consolation ARGC told me it would take 40 days for them to send me copies of my notes, and they actually arrived in less than a week. i think they said that long to put people off from calling every day saying 'have you sent them yet'.

Bugsy thinking of you and hope you're as OK as you can be.

Scrummy how are you getting on with Mr Alan E. Beer?

No news from me which is good news I think

Oh, and pocket, bled for no more than a couple of days, not as bad as a period.

Lucy thank you your updates make a huge huge difference and have allayed my fears somewhat! xxx

Good! x

Thank you all for all your kind words you are all lovely too
Feel little better today but just want to get my options on the table. Hugs to you all x