TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

Thanks Lisa sorry I missed you before. I'm ok, just deeply frustrated I think. I can't really blame the hospital at all, theyve been fab, it's just a real limbo situation like wading through treacle.

wine Its difficult when you are waiting but not sure what you are waiting for, did they say how long it would be before they give you the results??

Hiya,

Prog sounds fab mini. I called for mine and was told midwife would call me back, 5 hours later no call so i called again to be told that she also worked in the epu and was very busy and i was to be assured she had her messages and that she would deal with them when she had time! So i'm no further forward. It was taken at the wrong time anyway!

Evening all

I've been reading on my phone but i've borrowed my mums laptop for the weekend so it should be easier to catch up with everyone.

Stimming is going ok. Had a blood test yesterday morning which was fine. Last night I started on the cetrotide (to prevent ovulation), had a bit of a reaction to it. The injection site swelled up red and hivey and was itchy and burnt. I did a bit of googling and it seems to be quite a common reaction so tonight I put an ice pack on my belly before I injected and this seems to have lessened the reaction. Think I may have left the ice on a bit long though.

Started feeling a bit bloaty and uncomfortable. I've another blood test friday am after 6 days stimming and then I think they'll probably have me in again on Monday. Bit concerned as they haven't scanned me yet, just bloods.

How's everyone else? I'll read through everyone's posts

fatima hope things go well for you, sorry about the reaction, the things you have to go through to get your take home baby x

wine Sorry you're feeling crappy? How long will you have to wait for the results? It's hard when you have down days, sometimes you just have to give in to them. It will all be fine though. I'm sure of it

euro How's shag week going? Good news about starting next cycle. Fingers crossed for you. I know what you feel about feeling ready for it now. When our recipient was originally found in November I was eager to start but i'm glad we've had chance to let it sink in. It's good you can carry on with the immune at the same time

stasi Hope shag week is progressing well?

freedom and Tiago A welcome from me, so sorry you have to join us on this thread .

Tiago Can't believe your doctor wont refer you! I was refered after 12 months and I'm glad I was otherwise we'd have wasted time (and DHs sperm) trying when there was no chance at all of it happening naturally. Can you get a second opinion. Whereabouts in the country are you?

ladygee Glad EC went well. I'm feeling a bit nervous as i've never had an operation or been in hospital properly. How are your embryos progressing? Any news on ET? Your husband's sperm count increase is amazing!!

nelly Hope you're enjoying the holiday

lemons Hope you're in less pain with the collarbone

pout Don't go getting frostbite on your boobs!! Has AF arrived? Fingers crossed it stays away

Karbea how exciting!! We're all IVFing at the same time

whatmess I find the less I have sex, the less I feel I need it and then we'll have it one day and i'll remember why I like it and want to do it again Hope you're feeling better

minipie Maldives sound fab. We booked them for our honeymoon but then changed to Mexico, I loved it but would still like to go to the Maldives at somepoint.

gin That's a shame about the lack of NHS funding for IVF

Izzy Did the midwife get back to you?

Waves to lisacn, kitty and joycep and anyone else i've missed

Thanks Lisa The things we have to go through aye

Hey all I'm a newbie to all of this butthought I'd join since it seems a lot of u girls know better than the docs lol bout me I'm 27 and hubby is 33 we have been ttc for about 2years, had all tests as has hubby everything seems fine I just don't ovulate regularly so been put on a 6 month course of clomid which I am eagerly awaiting my af to show up so I can start! I've been reading a lot of the threads on here and everyone seemd really nice, I am pretty much going thru all this on my own (except hubby) as don't have any friends going thru similiar situations so thought this would be the best place for help and advice! Xx

mrshiggins Welcome I hope the clomid works for you, this can be a lonely journey at times and it can be hard to find the right support but hopefully you'll find it here :)

Hi ladies, am working away at the moment so yet again posting on phone and can't check back, sorry for missing everything. Just stopping by to say commiserations to nelly for ERTD but glad you are having a lovely time. pout I so hope it stays away for you, I've still got everything crossed. Hugs to ivf ladies. Welcome to mrshiggins. General waves to everyone and massive hugs to wine, what a crappy time you're having. I hope they get back to you with the results very soon. So sorry you are feeling lonely and sad, is your DH around to look after you?

I'm feeling very meh about ttc too. I think I'm mentally exhausted from going through every scenario 24/7. Trying to work on the psychological side of things with meditations etc otherwise I'm going to end up in the loony bin.

On the plus side I'm starting to see benefits from all the healthy living stuff. Weirdly I don't feel that different, but I've started to notice it in the way I look. Normally I often look very pasty, exhausted and a bit puffy. But recently I've started to look more alive. I look awake, my skin is a bit less doughy and I don't puff up as much, especially before af. I even think I might be looking a bit ^younger^. I have to say its a very good incentive for carrying on with the minging wheatgrass Still not doing any decent exercise though. Ah well, one thing at a time eh.

Thanks Lisa, I can defo say it hasn't been an easy journey to get to here but trying to keep a positive outlook any move forward is a step in the right direction! Hope to start the clomid this week got a 2nd appointment with the ivf clinic on monday but will basically just be to get put on the waiting list since I've been told its about 2years long! Heard lots of positive things about clomid so its onwards and upwards!!t

mrshiggins I've heard mainly good things about clomid, I know some women who are having it for super ovulation sometimes have problems with timing but that usually gets sorted out. I take it the IVF is on the NHS, its along time to wait, heres hoping it happens for you before then

Yea its nhs couldn't afford to go private at this point in time! I'm trying to get into thw thinking that even if I don't get pregnant with the clomid I'd like to atleast ovulate so I stand a better chance, my last 21 day test was at 1, so not good at all!!

Welcome mrshiggins I think clomid is supposed to be really effective in cases where ovulation isn't happening. Good luck! I know what you mean about not having friends going through the same thing. Do you have any family that understand?

pout at your freezer tales. Also, at the thought that we all read it and contemplated doing the same in case it was the answer to our infertility.

That's fab news about your 4 eggs fertilising ladygee and wow at the improved sperm count. Keeping everything crossed for you.

fatima well done on the stimming, almost there.

euro can't believe you're almost at ivf too. So exciting although I understand it's daunting too.

gin gulp at 2 year waiting list. Although I moan about having to pay, and we can't really afford it at least it means we can start treatment when we want. I keep telling myself it's only money. I had sort of wanted DH to ask his parents to loan us the money. They are well off and I know they would have given it to us if we asked. But DH is very proud and hates asking for anything so it would have made him uncomfortable. So we're saving ourselves.

I think I've mentioned before that my cat is like my baby. Well, on Sunday she went missing. She is a real home cat and only ever goes out for 10 mins at a time. But on Sunday I let her out as normal expecting her to be back in after a short time but she didn't reappear. I was beside myself because she's never done this before. DH and I scoured the streets, knocked on all the neighbours doors, rang the local vets but no sign. I couldn't sleep, I had images of her lying injured on the side of a road. Yesterday evening we went round putting up posters, just got back in and then 2 minutes later who should be standing in the kitchen by her empty food bowl looking as if nothing has happened? I have never felt so relieved. I know it's stupid but she's so precious to me. Anyway, she is fine and we have no idea where she was. She was starving though and she is being very clingy. We let her sleep on our bed last night and she pushed her way under the quilt and lay stretched out between me and DH all night.

On ttc news, I have been feeling a bit down about it all. I was upset anyway about the cat and then I was crying to DH and saying that everyone we know is pregnant or has babies and DH was saying this isn't true and managed to list 3 people we know who are married and not pregnant. He then went on his emails and there was one from one of the people he cited saying their wife is due in August. So now even DH believes that the whole world is fertile except us. I think that finally DH is realising that this is a bloody hard road.

I can't remember who mentioned SWI and the effect of long term ttc. I've never had a really high drive but I have to say it's almost non existent now. I'm never in the mood and I see it as a chore. We probably only manage about 6 times a month now although I think we focus it at the right time.

Waves to everyone, sorry I've rambled on and not got round to properly name checking.

Hi ladies! Just passed a woman in the street with a badge on...not the Baby on Board badge but instead a ?Yes! I?m Pregnant? badge. I haven?t seen this one before but FFS why would you walk around with that when you have a massive bump? What do people want you to do, courtesy? I might make my own badge saying ?Yes! I?m Infertile? now give me a seat. Oh what a bitter old bint I have become but I do vow never to wear such a ridiculous thing.

So much kudos to all the ivf ladies. Fatima - well done on the injections, i can imagine it?s a bit disconcerting when you don?t know what is going on inside but i?m sure everything is doing what it should.. karbea - can?t believe you are down regging now but best of luck with that! And lady - that?s fab news about all those little eggies being collected. I am glad it went ok. I can?t believe you were talking all the way through it, how really bizarre! Cross fingers they all develop in to lovely little embryos.

pout - sorry going back to Friday?s post as haven?t got on here for a while. No my doc didn?t talk about what was next. She kind of look defeated and said she could do ivf for me although she didn?t think i was ready. What pissed me off though more than anything was the messages I left went unreturned. I had a 6 or 7 wk cycle as opposed to 26days and it was worrying me because she had overstimulated me a bit too much and therefore had to cancel my iui. It had cost us £900 with all the scans and the drugs and she wasn?t returning my emails or phone calls. In fact my friend said I should report her but not sure what that would do and I?m too much of a pushover anyway! . So when is your scan? I hope your GP?s office hasn?t messed it up. Totally with you about the worry of who will inherit things if there are no kids. My 2 siblings will never have children and so I am really the only hope. I have lovely bits of jewellery that have been passed to me and i worry who they will go to. Just shows what this fecking business does to us...worrying about what will happen when we are dead. Sorry about your body playing devious tricks but at dog drool potentially having contaminated knicker watch. Oh how I wish that you are pregnant. How is your mum btw after that awful shock of losing her boyfriend?

nelly - enjoy the skiing but sorry about aF.

mini- when are you off to the Maldives? Very envious. Loved it there. There is so much fresh fish and it is just heaven. Which island are you going to? 73 is an excellent progesterone result, wow, i hope you?re pregnant!

wine - i am sorry you?re feeling down in the dumps. It?s not very nice being left in limbo like this. I never know why they can?t just discuss it with you on the day instead of sending you away. Surely they can just go back and look at the scans and come and tlak to you about it.

tiago - why on earth won?t your doc refer you until 24 months. Are you really young? Mind you my Gp wouldn?t refer me and i just gave up in the end.

mrshiggins - sorry you have found yourself in this position. Really hope the clomid works for you but we are here to support you.

kitty - remind me what healthy living you are doing . I?m so pleased it is making you feel better. Totally understand the worries about ending up in the loony bin. I thought i was heading that way last year and then I started reading Buddhist books to try and make me gain some perspective. Not sure i?m really there but i just try and shrug my shoulders at everything now.

mrsd - oh i am pleased you found your cat. It?s horrible when a beloved pet goes missing. Sorry you have been feeling down and I cna?t believe there is yet another pregnancy announcement you have heard. It?s truly horrible but i really believe come the summer when you do ivf (if not before), you will get pregnant and hopefully with twins! Oh my sex drive is zero these days. DH knows he is in luck when i jump him for about 5 days in a row and then push off his advances the rest of the month.

Gone bonkers as i have ordered some home blood testing kits. I had read somewhere that a certain blood type may find it more difficult to conceive ? not sure why i want to investigate further. Also wondering whether there should be certain foods i should be avoiding according to my blood type. Just when I thought my madness couldn?t get any worse. Sigh. So since turning 30 some time ago now I have found I have had problem after problem. Normally it is thrush every month or I limp or i have back pain. Well sorry in advance for being totally gross, i seem to have formed a some pussy boil in my nether regions this time. It is so disgusting at first i thought it was a tick i had caught from the dog. Hubby thinks i do it on purpose to avoid sex. I must say it has kept him well away from me .

Shit sorry for long post - no wonder I haven't done any work yet this morning

mrsd I felt sick when I read the first bit about your cat but was so glad to read on and find that she came home safe and sound. Maybe she got locked in a shed or something. I know what you mean about pets being like babies. I get all tearful when I contemplate that my dogs will die one day.

I find that when I'm upset about something it always makes the TTC business feel worse, it's like TTC runs through everything. I know it's not healthy and I am ashamed to say it but it has become like a chip on my shoulder.

kitty It is mentally exhausting isn't it. I so understand what you mean about the working through every scenario all the time. I am currently doing it with my PMS symptoms and working out every permutation of symptoms that I have ever had and on what day and what it means with regards to how I am feeling right now etc...gah

Glad though that your healthy eating is going well and that you are looking better and feeling better. I can identify with what you wrote about how you sometimes look, especially like the doughy analogy. I know that I must look kak all the time because so many people have said how I don't wear make up. I just think jeez it took me 20 minutes of layering on make up to look this bad!

joycep I know what you mean about feeling like one problem after another. DH has applied for health insurance for me (should I be worried about an untimely demise now we are married!) and I had to have a 40 minute interview with a nurse about my medical history. God I felt like a hypochondriac!

I have had a cyst thing in my nether regions about three years ago. Try not to attempt to burst it and it will go away on its own in quite a few days.

We also do the manic SWI in the fertile window and then I just don't want to know and am pushing DH away. I REALLY hate non essential bedroom shenanigans these days.

That pregnant badge is utterly ridiculous. Where on earth do you buy such things??? If you are going to wear a "Yes, I'm infertile badge" then I want one too

So great that your doctor looked defeated, just what you want to see! What did she mean by you weren't ready for IVF?

I wish I could find something to let me get some perspective about this whole thing, Buddhism, Mormonism, Wombleism, I really don't care. I have hit a really, really down patch and truly don't believe that it will happen for us. I don't know how to lift myself out of it and am finding it really difficult to give a monkeys about anything. I know that things are bad because I am finding it difficult to give two hoots about keeping and making the house nice which is usually something that I am almost evangelical about.

fatima sorry that you had a reaction to your injection, that sounds yuk!
Izzy have you heard back about your bloods yet?

Waves to lisa and lemons, hope all is well with you both.

Hello and welcome to mrshiggins

ugh at your boil joycep I hope it clears off soon. Tell me more about the blood type thing. I'm A+, no idea what DH is. I know that if you've had a miscarriage and are negative that can be an issue.

I hadn't thought of the inheritance thing. Not that I'll have much to pass down. If I don't have children then I'm going to be asked to be buried in my wedding and engagement ring, and then in a thousand years time when time team dig me up they can marvel at the simplicity of my white gold band and solitaire ring and declare that I was someone of no great importance. And say that more than likely I was a barren!
I'm one of three girls (and I've got a brother) so there won't be much to get passed down to me. But, my mum has already starting giving my sisters bits and pieces of her jewellery. Apparently, I'll get my share when I have a daughter which I am actually quite about as the loveliest things that I remember my mum wearing have already been given away. My mum is still alive by the way, but she decided she wanted to give things away now rather than put it in a will as she doesn't wear any jewellery now apart from her wedding ring.

I sometimes worry about who will look after me and DH in old age. And I know that is not why people have babies but it does bother me that there will be no one to look out for us. It's not the same with nieces and nephews.

I think that everyone is pregnant or had babies now so really I should be free from pregnancy announcements. But no doubt the second babies will be happening soon enough. joycep is your plan to still go for ivf in the summer? I get so excited when I think about it. There is an open evening at our clinic in April that I've booked to go to, and I feel good when I think that April is really close now.

"someone of no great importance and probably barren" had me snorting tea

That made me laugh too, Pout!

I have just received my second pregnancy announcement of the week. I think this one was a hard won win though. I find I feel less bad when I hear about those when someone just slips on some sperm and ends up PG.

I am learning so much (about freezersmainly) from this thread!

Fatima I am in cambridgeshire. I would try my luck with another GP but I don't know any of the others at the practice so the chance of finding one who is sufficiently sympathetic is low. While I appreciate that they have funding issues, etc, I just want to know if DH and I are wasting our time. Maybe his sperm are of poor quality/have defunct chromosones. Maybe my eggs are rubbish. Maybe I have a blocked tube so that our ttc attempts only have a hope of working once every blue moon. Hopefully the private doctor will order some tests and will say there appears to be nothing wrong - in which case I will merrily continue with the ttc.

Mrsden - glad to hear that your cat returned. I also have cats and know how terrifying it is when one vanishes.

Joycep - I am 28 (29 in a few months), which is one reason that my GP won't consider doing anything. Apparently he'll be more interested when I am heading for 35! Since I could easily be hit by a bus between now and then, I'm not waiting for him to get with the programme :) Also, if it is not going to work for us, I want to have time to look at other options such as adoption (and I know there is an age limit on that too).

"when someone just slips on some sperm and ends up PG"

Reminds me of the West Wing scene about accidentally sleeping with a prostitute: "I don't understand. Did you trip over something?

Afternoon all, going to keep this short, as I think I have RSI in my hand from my days at the computer.

Shag week continues here, should be over in the next couple of days. I think I maybe felt some ov pain on my right side this morning, which would mean the egg is popping by the blocked tube. Hope I'm wrong, or that the left tube goes and picks it up :)

wine I'm so sorry you've not got answers yet. It's horrible waiting for them to get back to you after a scan. They shouldn't keep you waiting too long, but if it's more that 3-5 days, you should be able to phone up and ask someone, or make an appointment with your GP. Hopefully the computer systems are linked and you'll be able to get the results that way. I really feel for you with that short little sentence "I hope it's not cancer" I remember that fear all too well. I can't really help with it, though I wish I could. All I can say, is that if the worst comes to the worst, and it is cancer, it's not the death sentence it used to be. I'm sure they'll get back to you soon though, and everything will be ok!

mrsden I'm so glad your cat came back and was ok. I had a terrible experience with this a couple of years ago. My cat is very similar to yours, only goes out for a short time, and never very far. He went out and was missing for 2 weeks - the SSPCA found him miles away, having been shot! He's home now, and only has a bit of a limp, but I'm a lot more protective of them now, and always worry if they stay out too long. He's such a quiet and loving cat, although now is very nervous of all sorts of sounds, from DH sneezing to the cutlery drawer.

at 'someone of no importance and probably barren' and a 'Yes, I'm infertile' badge

Sorry about preg announcements euro and mrsd. Since we started ttc we've been overtaken by people I never dreamed would get there before of us. We still have a handful of childless friends but it's really just a matter of time, as they all plan to ttc at some point soon. I have lots of morbid thoughts about being old and alone. But I suppose their are plenty of old people who's children are shit and never visit them! Not that that is a particularly cheery thought either, but I guess what I mean is that children don't guarantee a happy old age.

mrsd I'm so so glad your cat is ok. She sounds like she had a scare, don't you wish they could tell you what they've been up to?

pout yes about the makeup, I'm the same. I often wear a lot of makeup, a layer of fake tan and bronzer, and all it does is slightly take the edge off the uber-pasty, glow in the dark look.

Re the healthy living, I'm not too sure what it is any more, it seems to be mainly cutting back on booze and eating well at the moment but it does vary. At the start I was doing a fair bit of yoga but now I keep having to do things on my yoga night and I've skipped a few weeks. With food, I'm eating mostly organic (only organic meat and dairy), loads of veggies, home made soup for lunch every day, nothing processed, refined or with any weird ingredients. Big smoothie every night with wheatgrass and maca. Big spoonful of flaxseed and q-10 with muesli every morning. When I'm away I try and make reasonably heathy choices. I can't control what DH eats when he isn't at home, but I've mostly accepted that now even though it pisses me off that it's me who will have to go through ivf when it's potentially him with the problem

Who knows whether it will make any difference but I'm hoping it will at least get my body in good shape before ivf.

I even bought a mini bottle of vino the other night and poured it down the sink because it wasn't very nice, I think in all my 33 years that's the first time that has happened

Hello to everyone and sorry not to name check. On my way home now, hurrah!

X post stasi your cat!!! The poor, poor thing, that is so shocking, so sorry that happened to him. God some people ate just bloody awful aren't they I'm so glad he's home safe with you now.