IVF/ICSI/FET - any more for any more?

[jumpingjackhash]

Hi all, we're about to start FET following an unsuccessful round of ICSI last year (well, we got the bfp, but then I miscarried shortly after ). But... time to get back on the bike and go again...

Anyone else going through this?

Hi ladies

Thank you pumpkin This is all so confusing My DH and I have also been on this roller coaster of a ride for 3.5 years I think I'm going to give myself a month and go with my next cycle as silly as this sounds if this gets to be a BFB I would want a little one this side of the year next year seem's so far away. After you phoned your clinic did you see a consultant to discuss what might of gone wrong.I try keep telling myself that this is the journey my DH and I are supposed to be on my way of trying to keep posotive I hope you are a little closer in knowing what you wan't to do

Thank you zb this has to be our year

Hi, just a quick message to Teds, just seen your post, that really made me giggle. I am suitably sternly stared at, shuffling my shoes and shrugging my shoulders bashfully! One more month and then I'm in, promise. Am so thrilled its worked for you, you were so supportive during my last round.

Waves everyone else, sorry not to post more fully now am on hols (skiing - a non ttc related activity- wow, seems a rarity!) x x x

Evening All

I'm very new to all this but wondered if I could tag along to learn a little more about assisted conception.

My background - No children, miscarriage nearly 2 years a go and no pregnancies since then.

I have learnt tonight, (following my HSG last week), that my tubes are damaged internally and externally by scarring and also possibly endo.

I have been very traumatised by the results as didn't suspect any problems of this nature, no past infections, no symptoms etc.

It is likely due to infection but no known cause. Chalmydia antibody results came back as negative etc.

So now I am trying to make sense of all this and plan treatment options which are IVF or sugery to see if any of the damage is repairable. But IVF is looking the more likely option.

Is it possible to feel normal again? Can assisted conception feel exciting like the first time you try for a baby naturally. I'm sorry - I hope my questions don't sound patronising. I am still in shock and need to know that things will be OK and IVF (or whatever happens) becomes a positive thing too.

Thanks for listening

Oh Sarlat, what a horrible shock for you. To be honest with you, I have not been able to be excited about icsi (we have one failed cycle behind us, and a DS conceived naturally). For us, it's just a means to an end. My SIL conceived twins from icsi, and she said it did not effect on how she felt about her pregnancy or her babies, I think lots of people find once they are pregnant, how you got there becomes less important. All clinics offer counselling, and I would recommend if you have any hesitations of worries then take advantage of it- it's what it's there for!

Currently PG with no 3 after FET no 2, only had one little tiny eskimo left in the freezer and could not bring myself to let it perish so thought we would give it a go just before my return to work. It Was in complete shock when it worked as I was setting myself up for heartbreak! So there is hope at the end of the tunnel! After 10 years of heartbreak and failed treatments suddenly I am about to become mum of 3! Who would have thought! Makes all the heartbreak worthwhile! Good luck everyone!!!

Thank you Ellan and Mummy for those stories. It does give me hope. Ellan that is good to know about how your SIL felt towards her pregnancies / babies. Mummypig - that is great news about number 3 - congratulations.

I guess I'm tired of 'always been on a mission' iyswim. Seem to have explored every theory about infertility there is. Also, don't feel I have had a break from thinking about trying to get pregnant for nearly 2 years which is exhausting. I know others feel the same.

I just need to find a bit of spirit and courage to move on to the next chapter - the world of IVF etc. I'm sure I will.

Will follow this thread and good luck to everyone else. x

Just to wish you all good luck. Its a rollercoaster but with a bit faith and a lot of science, I hope you all get your dream.

I had FET in Nov 2010 and have a dd, now 5 months. It was worth the heartache and waiting games. I applaud any couple going through treatment.

All the best.

Mind if i join you?

I had DET in December, got my BFP and had a lovely few weeks of being pregnant. At my 7 week scan, we found that the embryo was very small. A rescan at 8 weeks showed an empty sac . I'm currently waiting for my body to naturally deal with what's left, if that doesnt work then i'll have to book in for an ERPC (but that terrifies me). we're lucky enough to have embies on ice, and our plan is to go again in March-ish, as soon as my body has recovered.

I'm sorry that you've all had similarly sh*t journeys thus far, its painful isn't it? But lets just hope and pray that 2012 is our year

Ellan i totally agree with you that this 'process' is a a means to an end

Jumpimg you mention 'moderate gym', i was hoping to get back in the gym soon and get fit before my next round. is that inadvisable?

Fatima I think you're wonderful doing egg share, its an incredibly generous thing for you to do - i had to use an egg donor and i'll be forever grateful to her for her kindness.

waves to everyone else and hello to Teds and Bugsy whom i know from another thread.

Hi Pocket. I read about what's happened to you on the other thread, and I just want to say how sorry I am. I think you're being amazingly brave. With regard to the ERPC can I ask exactly what it is that terrifies you, or is it just the whole thing? I've had a few of them now and they were all very straightforward physically. Emotionally is another kettle of fish... I'm thinking of you x

Sarlat gosh you must've been shocked by the results, poor you. But, from here on in it has to be positive as now you know what you're dealing with. When we got my AMH results I was absolutely devastated and felt like I'd lost another baby, but then I realised that knowing this could only help our current situation as any treatment we have will be tweeked for us. If we'd just carried on without knowing then we would have wasted even more time. I think IVF can be positive - for me anyway I feel a certain sense of relief that we're not on our own in this, that somebody else is helping us through and will hopefully be able to get us pregnant. It takes the pressure off a little.
Do you feel a little calmer now having had a day or so to digest the information you were given? You mentioned surgery - what exactly did they suggest doing? I hope you're okay x

Hi Pumpkin I recognise your name too It is just awfully sh*t that we all find ourselves in this situation. I can't bear hearing about other pregnant people, and just can't understand why it seems so easy for some couples, and so very difficult for others. Do you think you'll just go straight into the FET then? It's a tough decision to make, as if you wait you wonder if this could have been the month it might've worked, but at the same time it might be good to give yourself a break and then be stronger for the next time. Wish we didn't have to make all these decisions!

I think you asked about how my scan went? It was fine thanks, and I went back y'day for another scan/blood test and then did the Pregnyl shot last night, ready for transfer on Thursday. I just hope they manage to defrost both embryos okay! The hospital we go to is doing a study on vitrification and from what I looked at it seemed to suggest better defrosting rates so we said we'd do it. The first two defrosted okay, so we're keeping our fingers crossed to hear good news on Wednesday.

Hello to everyone else, and sorry for lack of more personals - I have to go and make some soup for lunch! Have a restful Sunday all x

Hi monkey. Thanks for your kind words. The procedure just seems so invasive - I'm not bothered emotionally (I've cried myself dry and have realised for me, I just need to get on with the next round). I'm not a very brave person when it comes to drs, hospitals and procedures (ironic given my AC journey). I'm scared it will hurt after and bleed for ages. Can you convince me otherwise as this natural wait is taking longer than I'd expected?

Exciting week for you - the very best of luck to you for your transfer.

Thanks pocket. I really, really wouldn't worry about the ERPC. For me the 'worst' one has been when I came round to slight cramping, and that was easily solved with a painkiller. The bleeding afterwards is more emotionally upsetting than anyhing else, and was no heavier than a period, but probably lasted a bit longer. I know it's invasive, but we don't get to witness that, and so it's best not to think about it I reckon.
The only bit that hurt me was putting the IV in, but then I have rubbish veins . Honestly, in my experience it was fine, and if (god forbid) I have to have another one then I wouldn't even think about it. I really hope that helps!! Is dh able to go in with you at all if you decide to have it done?
I think being able to move on sooner is a massive incentive, especially if you're thinking of trying again in March. Mind you, you have to do what is best for you... Good luck with whatever you decide! If you have any more questions then feel free to ask x

Hello all

Just catching up with everybody's stories. It feels so unfair that what is very natural and straightforward for most is so hard for those of us on here

Well AF arrived Friday, so I phoned clinic. Booked in for unmedicated FET this cycle, which my clinic does for ladies with a regular cycle who responded well to IVF. Booked in for first scan and bloods a week tomorrow on day 11. I've only had one cycle between early mc and trying again. Clinic said this was fine as long as we felt ready emotionally. Not sure about others here, but I find the waiting around one of the hardest parts of assisted conception? It looms over you and is always at the back of your mind.

Have also booked an appt with counsellor at clinic as want to be better prepared if it doesn't work again.

Feeling more positive now that we're about to give it another go, but not excited in the way I felt for first cycle of IVF.

Sarlat, I know exactly how you feel and know the hopelessness. I was so relieved when we finally started IVF, it felt like a huge weight fell off my shoulders, that we were finally doing something and it was no longer ALL DOWN TO ME ( which I felt, hubby very supportive but its a girly thing Im sure you know what I mean!) So please see it as a welcome relief and much needed help! The clinic I was with were very very supportive and it felt more like an adventure than hard work, and was very interressting. Our first cycle failed miserably, and at the time it was a devastating setback, but looking back, that cycle taught the doctors alot about what our problem was and the second cycle we corrected and tweaked the cycle and it worked! So please have hope and faith and relax, once you start there is nothing more you can do, you are along for the ride!
GOOD LUCK!!! And have some acupuncture during your cycle, if not just to do something to relax and take your mind off things!
xxxx

Hi there all, sorry I've not been on for a while, I'm catching up on everyone's news, so welcome to the new names on the thread (some familiar names there!).

Zeebeem we;re sticking with Guys - they were great all through and the consultant we saw after the mc was very helpful and I think we'd rather stay where we know, plus they have our history (and our frosty! ).

My drugs have arrived ready for me to start sniffing and popping from next week. I think the FET cycle is only a month or so - can anyone elaborate on this? I know I only have 1 bottle of Buselin (sp?) but enough oestrogen tablets for 50-odd days (plus a couple of week's worth of Cyclogest - to add to the stack I have from last time!). I'm seeing the nurse to run through the schedule at the end of this week.

Closelight, our consultant said we'd be good to go with the FET whenever we felt like it - oddly enough suggesting there was no need to have a break or anything in between, but we thought we needed some 'time off' it all and I also needed my body to sort itself out and I wanted to get into some kind of rhythm again. Then impatience took over, so we're about to start on the drugs again this month after a couple 'off'. I say we, I mean me!

Hi Sarlat we found it quite exciting the first time - not in an exhilarating way, more of a 'full of hope' way. Sadly we're not quite in the same frame of mind at the moment, I guess once you've had it go wrong you're more wary. Trying to be positive but with a heavy dose of reality! One thing we've always had in our heads though, was that IVF does give you the chance to take back some control - we feel we're at least tackling our problem by doing something positive, that's pretty powerful in itself.

Pocket so sorry to hear what you've been through. You need to be brave though - if the natural way isn't working as you'd hope, do speak to your doctor. Remember we're hear to hold your virtual hand!

You asked about the gym - I'm there 2-3 times a week, just enough to work out any stress and keep fit and healthy. As soon as we started the icsi last time I stopped, as the drugs made me feel bloated and uncomfortable once I was injecting, the pessaries were just yuk (was convinced it's dribble all through a workout, sorry if tmi! ) and then I was terrified I'd do something to hurt the embie once it was transferred. I'll probably stop again once we get closer to transfer until it's 'safe'.

Knackered I know what you mean about the waiting - but things are moving along for you and it's great that you don't need the drugs... a good sign, right?

Monkey hope the transfer goes well on Thurs! [everything crossed emoticon]

Got to pop off now - will be back to read through all of your updates again soon.

Thank you so much for the replies.

Monkey - I am a bit calmer but generally up and down. I start to feel a bit better than something happens to shake it all up again. Like yesterday coming home to open the post and get finding the clinic report from the consultation with the bad news. Roller coaster it is indeed!

Godisa - that's great to hear your success story - congratulations.

Mummypig - your words have given me hope. A big part of me is scared that even if the IVF route is successfull (please God) that I will somehow reject myself and / or any baby because of the nature of how the pregnancy occured - I know these are silly feelings so it's great to hear your experince was more ike an 'adventure'. Feel like I haven't looked forward to anything for so long. I also get what you are saying about a girl thing. My Hubby is very supportive but it has taken hime a while to fully realise the levels of distress it can cause. Already having reflexology and DH acupuncture - we have tried to be proactive and will keep these up as long as we can afford to.

Jumpingjack - yes I love that river. Thank you for your positive comments. Sorry IVF didn't work out the first time. Do you mind me asking why this may have been the case and what do you think may help next time? Best of luck to you.

One extra thing I learnt from my report is that I have a hydrosalpinx on one tube. The consultant didn't tell me this in the clinic. I was devestated to read this as I understand that this reduces chance of IVF success again. Any knowledge about this?

Thanks Sarlat x

Hi there, this is my first ever post on mumsnet. However, I am going to
Take the plunge and speak about this. My DH and I are keeping our planned FET quiet from everyone as we underwent ICSI in 2009 and were successful and we now have an 18 month DD but I feel I need to talk about it to someone and since you guys know what I am feeling I thought I would share here!
I am undergoing a natural cycle FET but I am yet to have my ?surge? despite it being day 13? starting to worry. I am feeling the classic about to ovulate signs, including the pains which I get as I also have endometriosis. Why does the test stick not say I am having the surge??! Anyway, it feels like another load of hoops to have to jump through when all around me friends are ?falling? pregnant so easily. All 3 of my NCT friends are now pregnant again and I am feeling desperate. I wanted to be totally relaxed this time (well as relaxed as you can be as a working mum!).
Wishing you all well.

Hi Rakkers, welcome to MN!

It's beyond frustrating when these fertile types keep getting pregnant by looking at their OHs, isn't it? For the last year or so I've been surrounded by family, friends and colleagues all banging on about their pregnancies, babies etc. and how frigging fertile they must be 'because it happened on the first month, and apparently it can take up to a year!'. Feckers. I swear if one more person asks if we're thinking of starting a family I'll swing for them! Worse though is when those very few people who know what we're doing suggest I hold their baby 'so some of their baby magic can rub off'. [gritted teeth emoticon]

And breathe.

Did your previous IVF work the first time? If you don't mind me asking?

Sarlat, sorry to hear you had shitty news from the doc yesterday. Don't give up hope though. Sorry I have no idea about hydrosalpinx so can't offer any insights.

We have no idea why our icsi didn't work - the BFP was such a high and I immediately 'felt pregnant' - probably psychological, but I had all the classic signs, achy boobs, constant knackeredness, constant hunger but not wanting to eat much... so the mc was a real kick in the teeth but just 'one of those things'. Our consultant wasn't overly concerned by it in terms of the likelihood of future success, so there's not really anything we can do differently this time. I will, however, do everything I can to stay relaxed post transfer and test - I'm afraid I'm likely to become all 'precious vessel' for the first few months, assuming we get a BFP of course.

Hello

Thanks again for all your kind words and support - it is appreciated.

Knackered I agree with you that the waiting is a pain and I don?t blame you for wanting to go again so soon (that's what I plan on doing)

Jumping and Knackered its interesting that you both talk about not being quite so excited second time round, I feel exactly the same - although I'm feeling a bit more hopeful and excited as days pass?

Jumping re the Cyclogest, one of the girls on another thread said that she'd been recommend to lie down for 30-60 mins after putting them in, which I did so I wonder if it might help you too - they're not nice are they?

Sarlat I'm sorry I can't offer any advice about what you've learned from your report but hopefully someone will be along soon who can help. Btw you're right about this being a rollercoaster, strap yourself in and here's to a ride that's not too bumpy - other than baby bumps

Rakkers welcome to MN and to this thread. Although I can't offer any help to your question, hopefully someone will be along soon who can. In any case I'm sure that you'll get loads of support from the girls on this thread.

Lie down for 30-60 mins?! Will have to set my alarm extra early this time around! Maybe DH will take the opportunity to bring me breakfast in bed while I wait?!

I know!! I got up super early and then went back to bed - didn't think about asking for brekky in bed but thanks for the idea, I shall try it next time!!

Just popping in to wave. Yep clinic said to lie down for 30 mins and to increase to 60 if any spotting I do get brekkie in bed! Only way we could get it.
sarlat just wanted to say if it would affect your cycle I am sure the cons would have told you. As the tubes are not involved in assisted conception I would not expect it to adversely affect you . But I have not googled. It means tube is enlarged with fluid good luck

sarlat the other thing I meant to say was when I had dr type questions I would phone the secretary and they would either get an answer or cons would speak to me later. They understand how stressful this all is and you will get a proper answer

Hi everyone, how are you all today?
Welcome to MN rakkers , and good luck with your FET when will it be do you know?
I start stims tomorrow, so glad to be getting on with it, perhaps looking at egg collection 3rd ish of feb? If it works, the due date would be the same as my ds's birthday, so I'm holding in to that as being a good omen! As for waiting or not waiting jumping, knackered and pocket, I agree if you feel comfortable just go for it, I would have done it straight away if we had the money then. Be as precious as you want post transfer I reckon, after the tough time you've all had it's important to look after yourselves!

Hello all,
Thank you for making me feel welcome.
Jumpingjackflash - to respond to your question, yes, we were so very lucky to get pregnant with our daughter first time. Amazing and we totally get that we are so lucky. I am not sure what difference it did make, but I did use a Zita West relaxation CD post transfer... I agree with ellengirl - be as precious as you like! I even took the week off work post transfer so that I could just reeee-lax! Good luck to you for stims...
Not sure what is happening with my body... I am on 16 of my cycle and still no ovulation! I had to have another scan and blood test on Friday - they thought I might have ovulated without the test showing it. However, I haven't according to the blood test so now I just have to continue with the tests and have a scan booked for Mon. Fingers crossed it will be this week...eeeek! Enjoyed a rare steak and bottle of red with DH last night just in case it would be my last for a while!
Lovely to be here, thanks again ladies and best of luck with everything!