Le BESH est trying to win un petit baybee.

[HaveUrselfAFaithyChristmasBaby]

Bring your best Franglais and gin. Newbies always welcome, complete la BESHtionnaire et nous will judge assess vous accordingly.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

Crickey Frosty has that come as a shock? So will you be siting on a waiting list unless you go private? I suppose there's plenty of time to decide how you proceed. Enjoy your anniversary.
I've been shopping and have happily provisionally ordered carpets for the house- we've decided to have the one we had in the living room throughout the house. I also got a nice coat - not as nice as the one I lost but still, Happy Popper box set on blu-ray, a nice top and new undies. Gutted to report I cannot replace my favourite boots and Bench top :(

[LaLauraDePalmer]

oh Sunny - sorry to hear you're dealing with difficult news, but surely it feels a touch better to finally have an explanation? Glad you'll be going out to celebrate your anniversary.

Phi - really like the new name.

Today is difficult...first day of first Droid visit since mc. Sadness.

Je suis lurking a la usualment, ma laydees...La BESH c'est un spot de brightness pour les non-ttc dark days.

Muchos bissous et beacuop les grande G&T.

[FrostytheSunshine]

Yes. A massive shock Flames. But thanks for your kind words. We've already had plenty of time to be honest I'm sick of having time. Sitting on a waiting list isn't what I wanted. But that's the way it is unless we can find a few ££££.

Hey LP nice touch on the name! Giving you a BESH fish slap and a quick hair stroke. What a shitty shitty game this is.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

I'm feeling bitter about the ttc right now. Dreadful really, I'm so friggin jealous of everyone...my friend who is 14 weeks and can't stop puking, my friends who had pre-eclampsia and had her baybee weeks early, took everything I have to say congratulations and wish her well! Oh dear.
Have you got an idea of costs sunny? I am in denial clueless about that side of things.
Luffly to see you la. I suppose the only comfort is your body readjusting it's hormones but under the circumstances have a large G&T and shush don't tell anyone but have a

[FrostytheSunshine]

I'm not feeling bitter. I love that my friends are having babies. I'm feeling sad for my lovely lovely husband.

Between £5-9k for a round of IVF/ICSI.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

I'm just bitter atm.
Bloody hell, that's a lot of money!

[FrostytheSunshine]

Being bitter wont win us a baybee any quicker and I figure it's better to try and be as happy as you can be. As my Gran used to say What's for you won't go by you.....

We could find / save the money. I could sell my car. We have some savings. We can tighten our belts. It's all possible if we make some changes.

In fact I feel much more positive now.

[FriendofDorothy]

I am bitter too. I am fitting the profile perfectly.

We will also have to pay for IVF if we get to the point of needing that. One of the shitty bits about living on this island is there is no NHS. I suspect if we get to that point we will have to acknowledge that our dream of our family is over :(t

[MrBitey]

Me again, delurking to give sunny a massive slap with a haddock (you know I really mean a grope cuddle) and to say that I think you should appeal the health board's decision as you have different circumstances. It may be worth a try

Bonjour the rest of you, fanks for admiring my fablass welsh northey

[MrBitey]

Lost a bit of my post then! Meant to say appeal may be worth a try, in my old job I used to appeal LHB decisions on continuing care all the time. I know it's different but they are not alway immovable.

[FrostytheSunshine]

Thanks Bitey . Didn't know you could appeal so thanks for suggestion. I will investigate!

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

I suppose at least now you are informed instead of being in the dark and know what you can do about it sunny.
I'm usually quite positive about things I'm.just struggling at the moment. I think I'll feel better when work has started on our house and we're in a rented house.
What's people up to today? We're watching Star Wars on Blu-ray starting with Episode I. My sister has never seen them!

[KatAndKit]

Oh sunny that must have been a hard bit of information to swallow. Would that mean that when you have IVF, you will also need PGD to choose the non-abnormal sperm? Have you ruled out sperm donation as an option? If you can appeal you should do, it's worth a try. But in the meantime I hope you have a nice anniversary. I think you are doing amazingly well with being dealt such a difficult hand.

[FrostytheSunshine]

Thanks Kat, your post has cheered me up. Yes, we would need PGD and that's the bit that came as a shock. We've not talked about sperm donation yet. Hopefully won't come to that.

Going for a soak now before a nice dinner with some lovely mates. Things aren't all bad

[SantasCave]

Your positivity is inspirational Sunny, I'm so sorry you and SSG have had such difficult news.

A rough day in the Cavey household today: I made turkey casserole with the Christmas leftovers last night and within two hours I was chucking it all back up again. For a fleeting moment I thought it could be diffed-ness (laid an egg within the last 3/4 days), but the fact that HWHNN was running to the loo during the night probably rules that out . We've had a very lazy day in front of the tv and are both feeling almost back to normal.

Day 21 blood tests again tomorrow, though I'm 99% certain I have ov'd. Just crossing everything that we dtd at the right times. We managed it 4 times in the last week.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

Sunny your attitude humbles me.
cavey sorry to hear about the chundering. 'Specially since it's not due to diffedness! Sounds like a pleasant day. Hope the blood tests show a nice high results!

[MadameBoodolf]

Feeling bit blue so taking a break from the menkul at the mo - but just needed to give Sunny's hand a squeeze. And good advice from that Kat too.

[FriendofDorothy]

Well ladies I have to go to bed. We are on a 7am flight tomorrow - urgh. I won't be around much for the next week or so, hope everyone has a splendid New Year :) See you in 2012!

[NortheyPole]

Sorry to hear of people's troubles at the moment. dot, how sad about your friend. Poor troubled soul.

frosty, I am so admiring of how you are approaching a difficult situation. What exactly is PGD? I wish I could wave a wand and smooth away the challenges (for you and all BESHies in need).

[SantasCave]

Have a luffly trip Dot

I'm off to bed now, got to get up early as I have to go into the office for an hour or two tomorrow [booo!]

[LaLauraDePalmer]

Oh BESHes, I don't think we're going to survive this, TOM and I. The mcs have caused too much damage, left too much of a wound. We're on the path to splitting. And I don't know what to do. I'm all at once angry and confused and desperate for relief.

[KatAndKit]

laura that's awful. I'm so sorry. Has something inparticular happened or is it mostly that he is refusing to consider trying again? I don't know what to suggest. Counselling together? Were there other underlying issues that the Mcs have made come to the surface? It's also early days since your miscarriage, and I found this time that comes a month or two afterwards is just as bad as the first week. Try to ride it out for a couple of weeks perhaps without making any hasty decisions and then sit down and have a real proper talk about where to go next.

[LaLauraDePalmer]

Thank you, Kat. The first mc (back in July) really kicked off a lot of our troubles - it seemed to highlight anything that was beyond perfect between us. It was like a giant microscope got placed over us and every flaw was revealed. We almost broke up.

So, we were already having difficulty recovering from that whole experience when we got the November BFP. And then when we lost the second pregnancy everything escalated to a horrific degree.

The one saving grace has been our ability to talk about it all - and we're planning on counselling in the new year. But tonight we feuded (heavily wine-influenced ) when he wouldn't have the sechs. He has basically cut me off from that entirely. And it hurts. Especially when I'm feeling fragile.

I really need to feel loved and appreciated as a woman. Because these mcs and TTC-troubles have left me feeling terribly unattractive and inadequate.

Sorry for relationship Fred hijack.

[KatAndKit]

I guess he feels that sechs is what "caused" the troubles, ie that is how you got pregnant and if that hadn't happened then neither would the miscarriages. Man logic. He wants to avoid putting you through that again and no sechs is the only way he knows how. But as you rightly say, sechs is about much more than winning a baybee.
The fact you can talk about things is a really good sign though and hopefully counselling will do some good.
A second miscarriage in a row is always awful. I went a bit crazy when it happened to me. And yours happened closer together than mine which makes it harder in a way.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

Oh LP you poor lovely, don't apologise for expressing how you're feeling on here. If you can't say it here, where can you? I really feel for you both. I have no understanding about the MCs, I can only begin to imagine :( but the pressure of ttc is horrendous enough without your circumstances.
I had a sudden flashback to a your ago when y describe your drunken fight - MSB and I had a massive fight when drunk - and the trouble is you say things you can't take back isn't it? Ours was after a sechs fail.
Like Kat says, it's good that you're talking, that's how y'all get through this. I think the counselling will help and also you've been referred for investigation about the MCs aren't you? Aw I just want to give you a big