IQ We don't all have a rush of love when we have a baby. Just like we're not all ecstatic with a BFP and we don't all fall in love with our partners at first sight.
Sometimes it's like 'hello, I know you' and then all of a sudden you can't remember a time when your baby hasn't been in your world. Somehow you just know them, no rush of love, just like they've always been here. Sometimes it's a fascination - 'Ohmigod look what we made' and sometimes the moment is all too much and it's a 'oh yes, very nice, please someone put the kettle on'. Relief is a perfectly acceptable emotion to have.
All are okay and no reflection or judgement on you as a mother. Nor will the first few seconds somehow imprint on the baby. There's a lot of stuff said about bonding, but it's not a make or break moment, and a lot of it is VERY physiological/hormonal and outside of your control.
Mini-IQ already knows you and your movement and the sound of your voice and she feels the way you feel. She's part of you and continues to be part of you for a long time after birth - technically all human babies are born prematurely as in order for them to be as developed as their mammal cousins at birth we would need to gestate for 18 months and the human upright skeleton does not allow for that. Hence our tiny helpless infants, unable to do a thing for themselves, with poor eyesight and undeveloped digestive systems. Lots of medical professionals think in terms of a 'fourth trimester' of development outside the womb, and this is really the time to get to know your baby and form the bond that your require to get through life. It might help you to think f the first three months as that time to keep her as close as possible and form that bond that lasts for life. Mini-IQ wont' come into the world with her judgypants on. All she knows so far is you, you are her world, and she will love you forever. She will know arms that hold her and suckling and your sounds and soft cloth and new sights and cold wipes and tummy ache. She won't be sitting in judgement!
When DD was born, she was amazing, yes. Surreal may be the word, especially as I had her at home and then everyone went and we were on our own and I'd never changed a nappy before - we weren't 'ready' for her either, just had a few basic things. I think I probably got more joy jumping on the bed a few hours later and laying on my front than I did when she was actually born. I was relieved, I was tired, I was busy with all the visitors and general comings and goings, DP was detached after getting scared when I was in labour and the whole thing was distinctly underwhelming. We don't even have any brand new pictures or a single picture of the three of us together.
I'd say it took me until she was about six months to say I had a bond with her, and then I'd say it took me until she was about 14 months to have what I would describe as the protective instinct. These days I'm practiced at it, I see the danger before it comes, I catch the ball before it hits her, I right the cup before it spills, I see the normal trajectory of the car alongside us but I also see the small adjustments in it course that means it's veering towards my girl and there wouldn't be a single hesitation in jumping between it and her. I see it all in advance so I can protect her when it comes. It's just part of it, I don't think about it, I'm just aware.
When she wakes in the night even at the age of 5 and even just to mumble something in her sleep, I'm down the hall but I hear her instantly, I'm awake totally, and my body sees fit to release a shot of adrenaline round me just in case I need to fight off a wolf, or something. Most of the time I don't even need to get out of bed, so this is annoying.
What I mean is, it'll come, and not always in the ways you expect. Even if there isn't a flash of love one day she'll run to you when she falls over and you'l realise you're there, anyway, in a much more gradual process. Akin to suddenly realising you're in love with your best friend, rather than the tall dark and handsome stranger brooding at you from the other side of the room. Both happen, both are okay, both have lots to do with hormones - but both are okay. And it's better to be honest and overwhelmed than silent and worrying.