Assisted Conception (and all the bits in between) volume 8

[lucylookout]

Looks like we need a new thread for Italian, Scrummy, Beginnings, womanly, lissy, rowing, fretfree, Teds77, keziah, frustrated and anyone else who wants to chat about assisted conception!

Hi all.

Scrummy so tired i missed apprentice but will catch it on Iplayer.

I have stared a thread about thumb sucking if anyone wants to contribute:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1334124-Thumb-sucking-six-year-old?watched=1

Feeling very low today, still feel ill, cold, upset tummy, hormonal. Fed up with DD and Dh who do not seem to care about me! DH worrying about how we will pay for treatment, just so *&^%$ing tired of worrying about money. We wold be about 15 grand richer if I had not had these bloody fertility issues! I just feel very fed up now. Sorry to be such a moaning minnie!

Dear Italian, you're not a moaning minnie at all. You've had such rotten luck recently with your BFN and getting ill, and that's after months and months of waiting for your DEIVF. No wonder you feel a bit low from time to time. We all do, and it's fine. That's what we're here for. And you can't think that way about the money, you have probably been ultra careful saving and budgeting for it. If you hadn't had IVF you still wouldn't be £15k richer now, it would just have gone on more expensive shopping bills or similar. DD and DH probably just don't know how in need of support you are right now. Why don't you do something nice after school with DD, maybe watch a favourite film of hers, that would give you a good excuse to cuddle up together and drink hot chocolate?
Rowing glad your plans are coming together and that european economy and weather conditions are being considerate to your cause! Not long to go now.
Scrummy good luck with your scan on Friday. From what I've read you're lucky to not have had too many (mental) side effects from clomid (or rather, maybe it's your DH who's got off lightly, I read a story of a woman chasing her DH around the kitchen with a bread knife for not doing the washing up, or some other minor misdemeanor!) When might the actual IUI be?
Mojangles have you heard back from your donor yet?
Wellerbabe hope you're doing OK on your 2ww.

AFM, I'm joining Italian in having a bad day. DH and I aren't getting on v well. I'm sure it's partly because ttc problems are affecting my general mood (I mean, even on a 'good' day I'm not as carefree/happy as I might be if I didn't have this in the back of my mind) but I think us not getting on is making him feel even more ambivalent about the whole ttc and IVF stuff. I keep worrying he's going to back out of it. I've suggested counselling to him as I think we could really do with it. he said he's think about it, which is his way of brushing the subject away. Also, a neighbour who lives down the road is 1 week overdue and is going to have her third baby any minute. I used to see her a bit socially, but have avoided it since finding out she was pregnant again as I just find it a bit too hard (when she told me back in April I naively thought I'd probably be pregnant by the time she had this one). Anyway, she's going to have a home birth, so every time I walk past her house I keep expecting to hear cries of labour or a newborn. Aaargh. Someone slap me to help me get a grip.

Hi Ladies

Many thanks to all of you for the warm welcome. I've been reading back your posts, trying to catch up. It's really nice to have this support network here... sometimes you feel you must be the only person in the world with fertility issues etc.
So rang the clinic on Sunday (Day 1) and they returned my call Monday. Nurse was very good and based on my fairly clock-work style cycle, and DH only needing to be out of the country for 1 day (Day 20) she was pretty confident all would be good. So on her recommendation I went for it! A big relief really, just glad to get going. I'm sure you all appreciate that. So today's 2nd lass day of clomid and in for my scan Monday to see how it's all going.

How have you ladies handled work and appointments? I don't have a stressful job, but It's a new job, so not sure whether to give them a heads up (eg. Ihave some medical appointments coming up over the next few months etc) or not. Where possible I'll try to take appointments close to my lunch hour, but as I'm sure you already know, due to the nature of this treatment or any assisted conception treatment you don't often get so much a choice of appointments and can be at short notice. I'm not yet really 'buddy buddy' with work colleagues, and I'm not sure I want anyone to know really. Tricky.

Gosh Lucylookout, I know what you are feeling with the neighbour. It's so hard. Last weekend DH told me one of his friends from travelling days was now 3 months preggers. I barely know this person, and whilst of course happy for her, I just burst into tears. So bloody emotional!

Lucy sorry it's all a bit crap. I am currently avoiding someone who has just had number 3. So I know how you feel. Hugs to you.

5 follicles measuring between 13-15mm!!!! Day 9 today. Will need to try and catch my LH surge and then back for another scan and blood test to confirm whether all ok for IUI. Mostly likely to have the surge on Sunday but could be day early or late. Huh! Went and bought new boots and booked a facial and massage for tomorrow as a treat. well, it was as good an excuse as any.

Lucy and Italian sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Maybe a good heart to heart is what you both need. I often find I need to spell things out for DH even when I think he should be thinking about that stuff by his own accord. Sadly, sometimes even then he doesn't get it. We ended up having a real crisis last year as a result, so I hope you manage to steer things back on track. And Italian they do care, people just forget. I know they shouldn't but they do. I ended up doings counselling last year just so I knew I had someone I can go and talk to and it was all about me and how I felt. Is there someone in real life you can turn to?

And Lucy my - now pregnant - neighbour is due to move back into their renovated house. It's a semi, so there will be no escaping as their nursery is next to our bedroom. It will be torture if we end up not having on and watch and listen to them enjoy their family life.

rowing when do you hop on the plane again? Is this Monday?

Teds how are you?

sunnyg not sure about work. I'm lucky to be able to come and go as I please, but have decided that if we end up doing IVF I will take two weeks off work. But one step at a time...

Wow scrummy, now that sounds like a good response to the medication. You must be so excited! So are you taking a trigger shot to induce ovulation? Or just waiting for it to happen naturally? Good for you and your treats! Sounds like a good plan, hope you enjoy your massage and facial.

DH and I did have a heart to heart last night, and did get a lot of stuff sorted out. I still think we could do with counselling as we seem to have got stuck in a habit of not being able to communicate well. We just 'push each other's buttons' when something goes wrong and end up getting annoyed with each other, so I think we need to break those habits and find a better way. I also considered counselling just for myself scrummy. I think it would be good to offload all of my emotions and worries (and guilt and resentment etc, etc) in a place where I don't have to worry about being judged, or feel guilty for offloading. Anyway, for today things are better. And my neighbour has had her baby. I'm not looking forward to seeing them, but at least the anticipation is over. I don't know if other people feel this way, but my emotions seem to go through a cyclical pattern, from feeling 'OK, I can cope with this, I've got lots to be grateful for in my life' to sheer desperation for another baby. And today I'm back at the 'by hook or by crook I will get another baby' stage, so that's OK.

Italian how are you doing my dear? I hope you are being gentle with yourself and that DH and DD have realised they need to take care of you a bit. Here are some and a for you.

Sunnyg good luck for your appt on Monday. I'm self employed, so haven't had to deal with work issues, but if I were you would go down the evasive route of having a few medical appts coming up. If you don't know any of them well enough to tell them what it's for, they also probably don't know you well enough to feel they can question you. But maybe have something up your sleeve in case you are asked more (female issues?)

Rowing how are you doing? All ready for your trip?

Hello to everyone else. Enjoy the fireworks!

Lucy thanks for your kind words.

Scrummy thank you for your lovely words too. I am thinking of you, keep going, I am very confident it will work out.

Hugs to you.

I am fine and I wish you all the very best.

Scrummy - wow it does sound like you have responded well. When do they think your IUI will be?

Lucy - thanks for your great advice about work. Did pretty much that and all good. Just said 'a few medical appointments coming up over next few months etc' and my boss was very nice. She emailed back and said no problem. She did ask if everything was okay so I kept it vague and just said 'a few female problems but nothing to worry about'. So all good!

Have woken up today feeling like a cold is coming on. Simply not having it. Pumping myself full of vitamins!

Thanks Lucy Italian and sunnyg. I'm so humbled by the warmth people show here. If ever there was any doubt about the kindness of humans, they just need to look here. Complete strangers taking such genuine interest in other people's lives.

They won't trigger me, so I just need to try and catch the LH surge on OPK. Makes me nervous as I missed it last month! Im testing every visit to the loo, good job I've got a bag full of cheapies (supported by CB twice a day) a bit ott I know, but I don't want to miss it. If previous months are anything to go by, I should get my surge tomorrow morning. They will then determine when the IUI takes place depending on the scan and blood tests that follows. I did ask how many follicles were too many for IUI and he said 4. Have spent time online to see how common it would be to go ahead with 5 (or more) and it seems some doctors are happy to go ahead, some are not. We'll just see how things pan out. Like my consultant said, they are the experts, so I will just go with their advice. They haven't cancelled it yet. Just thrilled I responded so well.

Lucy I think most couples get like that after time. We slot into, mostly bad, habits and keep repeating them. I can honestly say that going to counselling was one of the best things I've done in my life. It's made me question my own behaviour in a very positive way and my decision making process is now much improved.
And yes, I too fluctuate these days. It used to be only - I MUST have a baby- but now I have days I'm accepting that life is ok even without. In fact, I had that very thought when I walked into the clinic on Friday. I was asking myself how I would respond if there was bad news, and I would have been ok with it. Of course, one never knows how it would have been if the news had been bad, but I felt it wouldn't have been the end of the world.
Glad to hear you had a good chat with DH Not long to go now before you go for you next test, is there?

sunnyg glad to got things sorted at work. Sounds like you chose the right thing to do. When is your AF due?
My DH had that cold, as did pretty much everybody at work. I've been going around trying to avoid close contact with them all week. Hope you won't start feeling worse.

weller are you slowly driving yourself mad?

Hope you all have a great time tonight

Hi ladies, just back from America, so trying to catch up as best as I can...

Italian- Sorry you're having such a tough time. Things will get better, as they always do, and it's promising that you have a plan of action in place. My sister made a red velvet cake for my nephew's second birthday, but unfortunately we arrived a few days too late. How did yours turn out?

rowing- When are you going? I know it's soon, isn't it? Best of luck, love! Stay calm and zen...

scrummy- What great news that you responded so well! Looking forward to hearing when your procedure will be...

sunny- Hi and welcome! I think you did absolutely the right thing in giving your boss a heads up. And I also think it was right for you to be vague. You certainly don't need your work colleagues to be all up in your business!

lucy- Hope things are getting better. I have had so many ups and downs with my DH in the course of our marriage. We're in an upswing at the moment, especially after our lovely holiday, but I certainly expect something boneheaded to occur just around the corner. Just remember that you love each other, that it's worth it, etc. And try to find some 'me' time...super important!

keziah- How are you feeling, love?

Teds and Marmite- How's it going?

AFM, just sorting things out post-holiday. Little one is kicking like mad! She tap dances on my bladder during the day, which is most uncomfortable to say the least. Had repeat bloods done at the clinic on Thursday, so I'll hear what's going on next week I'm sure. And aside from an incredibly itchy rash on my arms, which I MUST see a dermatologist about, things are going well. 23 weeks on Tuesday, next appt. with midwife at 25.

Have a great weekend!

Hi all,
sorry just a quick post, but just wanted to say I am flying tomorrow afternoon and the FET is scheduled for Tuesday lunchtime.
I'm having a bit of a list-making frenzy at the moment, even though I'm only away for two full days!
Scrummy that sounds like a great number of follies, just tell the Dr it was a a mistake that they saw so many and you checked at home to find there were only a couple, so it is all fine to go ahead, thank you very much [Scrummy hops onto hospital bed expectantly]!
Lissy I'm so glad to hear your little one is booting around and sounding very healthy and active. I think rashes are quite common in pregnancy, but I agree you need to get some cream or something rather than scratching away like a crazy woman.
Great big hug to Lucy, Scrummy sounds a wise woman, counselling may be the way forward. I did one session after my second, failed IVF, I'm not sure how much it helped, but it's good to be able to speak openly about things.
Italian great big hug to you as well darling. You are such a brave woman and you deserve lots of new boots and coats to cheer you up.
Hi to new girl Sunny!
Waves to Teds and Marmite!!

Rowing hugs for TUESDAY WOW WOW WOW . May it go well, you SOOOOOOOO deserve this.

SCRUMMY I forgot to say FIVE wow, super . I so much hope that this works out for you.

Lissy yes, the red velvet was nice but I think I am more of a Vicotria Sponge lady myself.

Hubby has gone down with a cold, and now I think I am getting it. I am still getting sort of heart palpitations for want of a better word!

Dear old wikipedia says "A palpitation is an abnormality of heartbeat that causes a conscious awareness of its beating,[1] whether it is too slow, too fast, irregular, or at its normal frequency....Palpitations may be associated with heart problems, but also with anemias and thyroid malfunction." Due to my thyroid problems I am wondering if I need to be more concerned!

Hugs to all.

All the very best rowing! hope it all goes amazingly well. Are you leaving dh and ds here? If your family is anything like us, that's probably the most stress free way to do it.

lissy you're well into the second half of your pregnancy now. How exciting. It seems like only yesterday that you were writing on here that you were finding down regging hard! And how lovely that she's moving around so much. Have you started buying baby stuff yet?

Italian I'm sure there's a simple and easily treatable explanation but i'd get yourself to the doctors tomorrow. You can't take risks with heart related stuff. Take echinacea too, see if you can stave off that cold. Take care of yourself x

scrummy thanks for your advice. I had some counselling this year around fertility issues, and she definitely helped me move on after last year's late termination and miscarriage, and feel more positive about ttc again, so I agree it can really help. And yes, I know I can't change dh, so a lot of it is me accepting and reacting differently to his funny ways. I might well go back to that same lady initially. It's not surprising we're finding it a bit tough, there's been so much illness in his family this year, and this ttc lark is taking its toll. We'll get there though, I'm sure.
Have you detected your surge yet with your army of opks (I'd do exactly the same!)

sunny glad the work advice worked out, and good luck with keeping your cold at bay too!

Hi to everyone else too.

morning all, still no surge this morning. It seems from Dr Google tha Clomid may cause a delay in ovulation. If I don't detect a surge today or tomorrow morning, will pop into clinic anyway and ask them to do a reassurance scan to see what's going on. I don't know how quickly the follicles grow, so not sure whether it would be normal for them to go from 13-15mm on Friday to full size by tomorrow. Any thoughts? I'm going to do my best not to obsesses about it today.

rowing best of luck with your travels. I checked the weather forecast and it looks pretty perfect for this time of year. Have you got some sightseeing planned for tomorrow? [hopped on that bed a bit too enthusiastically - it collapsed! So now back in the waiting room, feeling rather ]

lissy really good to hear from you. 23 weeks. Wow. That's so lovely (albeit not comfortable) about the baby kicking. I trust you're armed with loads of lovely Old Navy stuff? Hope you had a good time.

Lucy sorry to hear you've had illness in your family. I hope those concerned are now back in the healthy books. I'm glad you've found counselling helpful in the past. I went for 6 months and would not hesitate one moment about going back if things got a bit too much.

Italian

Hi all,

thank you lovelies! I am going alone, alone I tell you! Looking forward to a bit of 'me' time with no washing up etc...
I should be able to get a bit of sightseeing in Bratislava before travelling to Brno on Monday night. I have a room in Brno but I'm having second thoughts and am now considering staying in Bratislava and travelling over on Tuesday morning. I would be nice to have a whole day with no travelling on Monday. [wistful face]
Scrummy I had clomid years ago and it made my usual 27/8 day cycle into a 33/4 day cycle, so there was a definite delaying effect for me. I hope the 'reassurance' cycle is very reassuring.
Italian you take it easy and start quaffing the old honey and lemon. Nice day in bed with films to watch (ones DD would like for a snuggle).
Definitely mention the palpitations to the GP or doctor who deals with your thyroid issues.
Lucy are you about to embark on your cycle of IVF. I'm losing track of everyone here, sorry? Glad you had a talk with your DH, it is a very, very stressful situation to deal with. I had a terrible time at the start of the journey, almost weeping when I passed pg women or just women with children, felt like shouting 'WHY, WHY!' at them, probably would have been arrested. Happily I can say the pain does subside, but there is a real questioning that we all must go through when something we take for granted isn't behaving. It is probably the same with any illness: which is what I think this is. I do sometime think that I could have had a much worse illness to contend with, but that is hard to even imagine.
Right off to scuttle about getting ready....[hugs to all]

Aaargh, just lost a long post. Pesky computer.

Scrummy unfortunately the illnesses have not got any better. In fact, I know it's not funny, but the number of people contracting life threatening conditions is reaching comic proportions.

Rowing, I'm having a 'groundhog day' moment. I'm waiting for next AF and if levels are OK I can cycle (could have copied and pasted that from the last time I said it). However, I have diagnosed a cyst on my right ovary as the possible reason for a delay this time. For the last month it has been 'there' all the time, and twinges during sex. Dr Google helped me with my diagnosis, but also informed me that on occasion a cyst can be treated during a hysteroscopy (as long as it's not too big) which ARGC do during every IVF cycle to prepare the uterus for ET, so who knows...

Anyway, enough of all my speculation, Bon Voyage my dear. We'll all be thinking of you on Tuesday x

Hello all yes I have been going mad. Caved in and did a first response test yesterday and got a BFN so expecting the same on test day tomorrow

Weller so sorry.

Weller sorry for today's test.

Rowing all the best for your FET on Tuesday!

Italian - might be worth seeing Gp if you not feeling well.

Scrummy hope you catch your surge, sounds like you have every chance with all your tests

Lissy glad you home ok and baby is active, although needs to perhaps change position. I have only felt a few bubbles so far from 21 weeks (am 22 now) as I have an anterior placenta to absorb kicks etc. We had a scare on Friday, with bleeding - so was seen by midwife and a Dr at Assessment Unit, reassurred no obvious reason for bleeding, and heartbeat heard. So didn't have to stay in, although I now have a small bag ready "in case" to take with essentials. Can't wait to get past 24 weeks now.

Weller I'm really sorry too. Hopefully it was just too early.

Keziah what a scare. At least all's ok with the baby (do you know what you're having yet?) and not long to go 'til 24 weeks.

weller I echo Lucy maybe just too early. Don't some women only get a positive 18 DPO. Keeping my FX for you tomorrow.

keziah sorry to hear about your scare. That must have been really frightening. Glad it was just a scare.

Lucy life can be so hard at times. I have lost friends and family to the big C and it's never easy. Hope things will turn to the better soon and you get that longed for BFP to give you something more positive to focus on.

rowing a day to yourself sounds like a plan. Really hope it all goes well for you.

Still looking for that elusive surge. Had a flick through my charts on fertility friend and I shouldn't really panic until Tuesday, but of course the timing this time is a bit more crucial.

Earlier today I thought I was 3 days late, let myself get very excited and imagined POAS, to find I'm a week ahead of myself and I'm not due till this Sat I hate this. Got our first appt from fertility clinic next week so DH has dropped in his sample this morning. I was feeling much better but now I'm pretty low again

I'm currently avoiding phone calls from work as I really don't want to speak to them

I am currently having counselling, I've only had one session so can't say if it's helping but I'm glad I can get everything out to someone who doesn't know me and won't judge me.

Just an update.....AF has arrived with a vengeance!

That was my only IUI as I was advised to go straight to IVF next due to my age (41)

Onwards and upwards I will try to only be grumpy today and then snap out of it

Have emailed consultant any advice on whether I can go straight to IVF and how long does it take from start to finish ?

Thanks for all your advice and kind words ladies it has really helped

weller really sorry to hear that. Be kind to yourself for the next few days xxx

I found planning the next cycle a good thing to channel my misery into so in terms of what next, if you do a short IVF protocol you could possibly start with the beginning of your next cycle, a long protocol then it would be the end of your next cycle. From start to BFP (which of course it will be ) could be as little as 5 weeks but more likely a little bit more.

For me, after my IVF my AF arrived on 3 Sept and one consultant was quite happy for me to start a short protocol when my next AF arrived on 7 Oct (worth saying that this was a longer than usual cycle for me). However, because I've done a long protocol that involved a couple of weeks on the pill, my DR injections began on 18 Oct, stims on 25 Oct, EC is tomorrow (eek!) and I'll know the result by 24 Nov (double eek!). So about 6 and a half weeks in total for the IVF process and all done about 12 weeks after my BFN. Hope that helps!

rowing I'll be wishing you all the best from my hospital bed to your's tomorrow. Hope all goes well.

scrummy any update on catching your surge?

lucy sorry to hear about the cyst (and all the family illnesses ) any sign of AF?

Italian palpitations don't sound good - did you make the Drs?

Keziah really glad that the scare has been sorted and lovely to hear from you and lissy about kicking babies

((hugs)) to everybody else I've missed.

Final moan from me... Can I send DH to the DH doghouse with the other DHs being mentioned?! Mr Teds managed to not tick the right box on a form so his swimmers haven't been frozen. He will have to erm, keep wanking until he produces some tomorrow as I dread to think about what the cost of surgical retrieval is when it's not NHS... And I've had to behave and not have a hissy fit at him (despite extreme temptation!) as the last thing he needs is pressure. Harumph.