The BESHes are now getting cross. Because it's taking ages. Now look, Universe, cut us some feckin slack.

[Ariesgirl]

Now also, in honour of the Rugby World Cup, we can also take our pick of the strapping, fine-thighed walking sperm banks who will be on display in New Zealand soon. I vote myself to be the tournament's physio and also we can judiciously place a few eager volunteers into the Pit for Gloom purposes. They are so incredibly tough that they are not likely to go the way of Daniel, Cap'n Jack and Mitchell.

Roll up, roll up....baggsy the first go on Jonny Wilkinson.

Oh we so should put those up. That'll teach them, the FUCKERS.

Stupid, insensitive tossers! oh I'm in the worst mood

My ovulation seems to have gone missing. If anyone sees it, could they send it in the direction of sauf-east London? Ta, ever so.

I just made Mr euro have a just-in-case-i-ov-tomorrow shag after he had had the shittiest day at work ever. I am trying to work out if I feel guilty. It seems to have cheered him up a bit so I don't think I do.

Do you have a shag dictator too Euro?

Don't be guilty euro shagging is surely a proven method of relieving stress.

Boo, no I don't have a shag dictator but I do temp (I was using OPKs but there didn't seem any point in continuing once I had figured out my cycle). I am the shag dictator in the euro household. Interestingly (for me but probably no one else) I ovulate more or less alternately on days 15 and 17. I figure I have one lazy arse ovary that takes 2 days longer to do its thing than the other. My acupuncturist has been trying to bring ov forward and last month it looked like she had succeeded as I ovulated on day 14. But I am now on day 15 and have no sign so far this month. Not even the EWCM I usually get a day or two before ov.

Poor Mr euro is still upset. He had a promotion interview yesterday and is sure he messed it up. If he were a girl I would send him flowers. Any ideas for putting a smile back on a boy's face?

What, the shag didn't put the smile back on his face?! Get him his favourite dinner in for tonight, or take him out somewhere nice, watch a funny film at the cinema perhaps?

Give him a blowjob

Quality post!

Rie! You're back!

Don't you know saliva is now sperm friendly though...

Hello boo it's a top film isn't it?

Lots of fresh meat new faces in here!

Hi ladies! Please may I join the fold? I am 35. Been ttc for quite some time. Feel 55. No success yet. Suffered miscarriage at 8.5 weeks back in march. Cycles used to be regular 28 days. Last two been 27. Today period started after 25 days. Does this signal start of menopause at all? Sorry to barge in. You appear to be a knowledgeable bunch?!

OOH fresh meat!

After my ttc and miscarriage biznis started my cycles were all over the place. They were also once regular. It messes up your body for a little while, that is all. I ended up with a longer average cycle length (from 27 days to 29-30 days). I'm definitely not menopausal.

happy holiday bugs and try not to break that sofa bed!

Answers to your Beshtionnaire!

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

Yes! But into Bacardi Breezers and WKD in a big way right now! Does that make me a light weight?!

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

Gold digger- deffo! he's 3 years older- but he's rolling in it- does that count?!

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

I try a) b) c) and when I get exhausted I go for d)! Have I got all bases covered?

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

a) obviously! Why are they asking the question, when the answer is piss easy!

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

Not a clue? Am I now excluded? Despise all/ any scifi.

6. what colour are your walls?

Almond White. Can't stand the hint of pink in the magnolia. Hate hate hate pukey pink!

7. Number of pets?

Zilch. What's the point. Can't toilet train them, and they'll never answer you back?!

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Susan from Neighbours.

9. Lesbian crush?

Adele.

10. What are your views on camping?

No way Jose! Rather have a hotel room with full room service and a beautiful view from the balcony!

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?

i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

ii) over 100 quid on the High Street (boots and superdrug- latest idea of impulse buys!);and
iii) opened eBay and amazon accounts for buying poas sticks as well as TCOYF, and all manner of ttc literature!

Susan from Neighbours!! That is original!

R2D2, aka the droid, is beshslang for your period. I believe it came from Red Tide of Doom. Is therefore very very evil thing.

Do I pass?! Am I accepted? I'm shitting my kecks 'ere!

yes I'll pass you! Especially since you agree with me about camping.

R2D2 IS evil... Although at the moment still reassuring me that at leAst I am still fertile ( in theory!) Am scared that it may ditch me before my time rendering me childless. The thought is too scary!

Thanks Kat. So very honoured to be part of this inner circle of the conception threads! :-)

BESHes older than you have produced baybees so I'm sure your time will probably come!
What stage are you at with the whole ttc/testing/doctors malarkey?