The BESHes are now getting cross. Because it's taking ages. Now look, Universe, cut us some feckin slack.

[Ariesgirl]

Now also, in honour of the Rugby World Cup, we can also take our pick of the strapping, fine-thighed walking sperm banks who will be on display in New Zealand soon. I vote myself to be the tournament's physio and also we can judiciously place a few eager volunteers into the Pit for Gloom purposes. They are so incredibly tough that they are not likely to go the way of Daniel, Cap'n Jack and Mitchell.

Roll up, roll up....baggsy the first go on Jonny Wilkinson.

Greetings. I'm mad as hell and not going to take it any more. I've been spying lurking around the BESHs for a while and I like the cut of your collective jib. I think you may be my people. If you'll have me. 35, been ttc #1 for 6 months - not as long as some I know but I'm full of rage and biscuits if that helps. Shortly to be full of pizza and beer also. AF got me on Weds after another stupidly long cycle and everything is pretty much crap.

I have filled in your questionnaire. I bloody love questionnaires.

Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
I was once (type)cast as the Gin Fairy in a cod panto.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   DH is my toiboi by 18 months.

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

I thought you just ate manuka honey?

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

Sprinkle them with pee and punch them in the angel wings.

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

Paranoid Android.

6. what colour are your walls?

A fetching shade of vagina.

7. Number of pets?

My dog just died. I don?t wanna talk about it.

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Kevin

9. Lesbian crush?

Beth Ditto

10. What are your views on camping?

Only outside St Paul?s.

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?

i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Read this one and thought, can?t be that much. Counted in head. Oh dear. Amazon cheapies plus few each month of FR/CB/Sains/SuperDrugs = ii.

I hope this is acceptable.

p.s. I see Bugger has managed to get the sperm to meet the egg, good work.

Ooo, more fresh meat.

A win! Congratulations buggs!

One out one in so hello to Blonde, may your stay in this abode be brief! I'm not around much but like to lurk

Ooo more BESHes for entertainment. I too am awaiting the droid - depending on whether you believe Futility Friend I have either delayed ovulation and I am therefore waiting the imminent arrival, or I am late. I suspect it is the latter.

Ooo, I'm no longer the newbie!

[joins the queue to rub up against blonderedhead for baybee luck ]

Maud! I thought we'd lost you in the mists of time! How are you, dearie?

Weird crush of shame is Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith? I have loved him for a while, along with Jack Black, although I had to stop following him on twitter because he doesn't shut up.

BESHtionnaire is acceptable, although the answer to 5 is b) as Aunt Flow is banned from the BESH palais and we have the droid instead. I do like your Radiohead reference though. And your lesbo crush of shame is a col dudette as well.

I went to Birmingham town centre yesterday and saw the tents in Victoria square. I thought there would be dozens, there were about 5.

Hello Euro Cave Doris and Maud. Thank you for the feedback MBoo, I have made copious notes. Kevin is off of that film We Need To Talk About (only the oldest one, thank Chrikey, but still alarming). Am full to brim of inappropriate crushes, male or female, real or fictional. Growl.

I haven't seen it yet. Loved the book - but as I know what happens I need to be in the right mood to go and see it as I found the denouement totally devastating when I read it :(

I loved the book too, although it's a while since I read it. Film tackles it in a different way and whilst not perfect, is bloody good in its own right. Didn't spoil the book for me which is unusual & raised its own questions. Tilda S ridiculously good + all the Kevins...

Blonde anyone that loves Ms Ditto is Fine By Me. Welcome to the Palais. I have been out with the IT crowd. Good luck with FMU Faith

Morning all. Tested - bfn. Boo. Without Droid but back ache is kicking in so perhaps it'll show later today.
Howdy blonde, I'll comment in more detail later.

Morning all. Forgot to temp this morning but suspect it would have shown a drop. No sign of the droid but like Faith I have backache. I am also a moody hormonal cow today which is nice.

I am glum.

[waves nipple tassles in the hope of cheering everyone up]

oooh sexy!
Right I iz on my second cuppa, droid is definitely looming and in a way that's resolution in itself?! Stoopid body delaying it - I haven't had a 28 day cycle in a year!! Grr [hangry]
Right then, cavey I feel you are properly initiated.
Newbie!.... Interesting answers! Not really feeling the Ditto thang but do admire her confidence. Who is this Kevin? Right ok, I'd go for Jack Black myself.
You pass as far as I'm concerned!

Last night in amongst dreaming about bfps and bfns from the hour of 4.30am onwards, I dreamt someone bought me a box of chocolates. Woke up, gutted.

Oohh you should read this book I hate change but my colleague bought it for me, I swear it's changed my perspective! People have even commented I seem happier!
You're still in that crazy head spinning "Is this really real?". Have you done a cbd? Might help to see the word "pregnant" on a stick?

Ooh thank you for the votes of confidence. Faith I thought if I was going to choose a lesbian crush it may as well be a proper lesbian. I have a new crush every day though, I'm pretty fickle.

Bugger hope your lines have stayed true and strong today.

I'm sitting at work wearing a witch's cape. Some of the customers seem to like it, mostly the ones under 12. Going to fancy dress party after work, bloody hate fd but am quite attached to cape since tried it on.

If I could wear any cape, I'd wear one of those old nurses capes. They were awesome.
Bb Droid remains awol.

nb not Bb.

Nice cape, faith