The BESHes are now getting cross. Because it's taking ages. Now look, Universe, cut us some feckin slack.

[Ariesgirl]

Now also, in honour of the Rugby World Cup, we can also take our pick of the strapping, fine-thighed walking sperm banks who will be on display in New Zealand soon. I vote myself to be the tournament's physio and also we can judiciously place a few eager volunteers into the Pit for Gloom purposes. They are so incredibly tough that they are not likely to go the way of Daniel, Cap'n Jack and Mitchell.

Roll up, roll up....baggsy the first go on Jonny Wilkinson.

Euro - I'll offer you sympathy but no understanding... (unless it's what Alps said... )

Well done sunny where is the trip?

euro what on earth were you doing or don't we want to know? I have not yet had a sechsfail that resulted in injury to the foof. Perhaps my sechslife is not very interesting or something.

Thanks Kat, trip is 4 days in Dubai.

Bugs I read that Fred, hilarious. Can always count on one nutter turning up & shoving their opinion down everyone's throat. And no, not bad about shoes although I hate returning things in shops, I always get really flustered.

Alps nope, he actually went the other way and basically rammed a willy with 12 stone behind it at full force into my clit. Owie. It's all swollen and looks like a baboon's bum down there. And I have to try to have sex again in a minute....

Euro... oooowwwwwww...... poor you....

As for people who shove their opinions down your throat, the "fat tax" discussion of the day has someone on it who says, "...start reading the truth in the Daily Mail, the paper that stands shoulder to shoulder with the people." I was speechless. In fact still am. The stuff about Sarah Palin saving the American people... oh my.

Some caaah on AIBU is complaining about our use of the word dildocam!! clearly a sexually repressed prude or something. I have set her straight but clearly she needs a good dildocamming herself.

Someone defended the Daily Mail? That is unheard of on here surely?

Oh my. Kat - check it out. Truly fabulous stuff...

kat, what a silly moo. Have just popped on the fred to put her straight.

kat well I noticed you'd upset someone yesterday too on pregnancy. You're a double-caaah! ;)

I'm confused about euro and I'm going to have to make a paper mache model for reference purposes.

OMG111!!111!!1 What is happening to Mumsnet? I blame Rie. It all went downhill when she stopped posting.

So glad you got the job Faith I had every, erm, faith in you. Hur Hur.

I am like Beavis today. Or Butthead, if you will.

REad fred properly. All this good jobbage news. Hooray for clever ESH! Where is the trip to Sweetsunshine?

Oh and Hello Laura

Boo you appear to have silenced the BESHes for the day!
Thanks for all the congrats about the job, tis great news. Don't have to go back to doing shifts! No nights or weekends for another year and hopefully never again if I have 2 years experience behind me :)

Hooray! What is it you do Faith, or is it top secret?

Ah yes I'm a secret agent for the Government ....nope I'm a nurse. Trained in Adult, I'm seconded to a specialist nurse for older people post. It's quite fun actually. I do lots of stuff including outpatient clinics, write policies, do falls assessment on the wards, help the wards plan discharges. All sorts. And get paid more working 8-4 Monday to Friday than I did doing all the shifts :)

Brill! That is ace! I went to a talk at an open day at my old university (in my town) about doing a degree in midwifery. It was great - most informative, and I'm debating it at the moment - not something to be entered into lightly. Do you know any midwives?

I don't know midwives through work (opposite end of the scale!). I did a week placement with a community midwives which was ace and really changed my attitude on home birthing (MSB not keen on that idea! -we'll see!). One girl I was at school with was a nurse, retrained as a midwife and she's now labour unit manager. She seems to luff it! I'd say see if you can get some insight visits/'work experience' to know if it's what you really want. What do you do at present Boo?

Just read the dildocam fred. Bestest bit was Boo referring to it as a 'fred'!

Congrats everyone on new job, travel to Dubai and contemplating major career change to midwifery. Last week I had a weird moment of thinking I should get my teaching certificate - then I realised that I really only want one little baybee of my own, not a classroom full of other people's kids. I know, selfish selfish selfish. But I'm already a step-parent to someone else's kid which means that I do all the work and get one tenth of the glory. (stepkid is real cute, though, and we are a good pair...but it's not -and never will be- the same as being Mummy.)

Wow. That got heavier than intended. Sorry Fred!

Hilarious AIBU dildocam fred - well done BESHES.

I am sitting in a hotel bar in Hong Kong whilst The Mister is out working :) I am drinking wine and chatting up Australians.

In other news I am royally fuckethed off that someone else has announced her pregnancy. I feel a sneaky bit pleased for them as they have been trying a while but I am still pissed off!

OOOh auntieD I am jealous of you sipping drinks in Hong Kong bars. What takes you over there?

laura you are right to dodge teaching if you don't want to do it. Just because you like children doesn't mean you want to put up with 30 at a time.

The Mister is doing some lecturing out here so I have come along for the jolly before I start my new job. I intend to do some shopping - I particularly love shopping for lace, fabric, ribbons and Birkenstocks. This is mainly because I am too fat to fit into the clothes which are made in Chinese sweat shops which are sold in the HK shops.

The dildocam fred was on AIBU but it has died now.
Beignet is French for doughnuts. I want one please. Now. With chocolate on.