With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

[Bluetinkerbell]

started new thread! we do talk a lot, don't we?

Hi everyone,
shakey Your scan will be fine but I am not surprised you are worried, I have a doppler scan next week and the one we had with Ciaran showed that the blood flow to the placenta was severly reduced, I am so scared that this one will be the same. Can you go for a heartbeat check in the meantime?
razz great news on your dna bloods x
too our dog had a habit of peeing on the bed in the spare room when we first got her, she is banned from there now but still gets on our bed. Luckily she has never peed on that, I would be fuming too.
blue go for it, it will be lovely to live near your friends x
jane can't believe they left your little girl out, I would be very upset/ angry too x
Hi moomin and welcome, think I am on my own here but I don't know what moomins are x
No news here, had a horrible dream last night that I lost this baby too, it really shook me up. I had to have a listen to the heartbeat this morning to reassure myself that things were ok and luckily the little one was behaving and it was loud and clear. Think it was all my worries coming out in a dream.

Hi guys,
Haven't had much time to post and only had a quick read through. Sorry - will try to catch up with the news but missed a lot just wanted to say hi!
I had my consultant appointment on Wednesday, nearly 2 months since Jacob was born so had a long wait for results and then was just told that they don't know what happened. All tests for antibodies to infections tested were negative and the placenta looked fine and healthy, no indication of abruption, only unusual thing being that there was only one artery and one vein when normally there should be 2 arteries and 1 vein. Feel kind of relieved that the appointment has now passed as I was anxious about going back to the hospital and about what they might say but now know that I will forever be wondering why he died
We've been kind of ttc, just going with it really although I think its too soon for me to get pg anyway, don't think I've ovulated at all (been doing tests really to try to find out where I am in cycle) - I might poas (pg) if I don't come on by 16th Ocotber, just in case.
Too I know the scary character from the moomins you're talking about... its name is on the tip of my tongue argh

Found this....
The Groke (Mårran: morra "to growl; to grumble") ? She is cold and ghostlike, and represents loneliness and all that is scary in the world of Moomin. She seeks warmth and fire, but is unable to do anything but to put them out. Although she has a scary appearance and is dangerous to get close to due to the cold that she's radiating, she's not really evil... Just very lonely.

Oh I actually feel quite sorry for the groke now

august I had an early mc last June after ttc for 14 months and was pg again in august, no sign of ovulation from the tests we were doing but we now have a beautiful 6 nearly 7 month old baby boy (who arrived 8 weeks early) so it can happen. The same happened this time I was pregnant within two months of having the baby again with no sign of ovulation but we lost our Jacob at 20 weeks

Hi Moomin, just reading back and saw that you already mentioned the Groke! I had a little nosey around (hope you don't mind) as I hadn't met you before and read about your Jacob - my baby was Jacob too. So sorry, has made me feel really sad.
Ciwi, Too, good luck for your tests
Blue, view the house, you might love it. Also, fx for you this month x

moomin x posts, soz. Secretly I really hope I can get pregnant straight away, feel bad that people might think I'm forgetting Jacob so soon but that's not it - just it feels the only thing that would be right, another life that wouldn't be if it weren't for him. Bugger, crying now. Got to go.
x

moomin welcome to our thread, I love the moomins, I went to finland a few years ago and nearly bought the whole moomin store in the airport, but in the didnt get anything, wish I had now.

august (((hugs))) your not spoiling your sons memory at all by ttc. Nothing will ever replace your jacob and nothing ever should. Im so sorry they couldnt find a reason for his death, do you feel more comfortable with yourself now that you have heard the results or has it just brought up more questions?

Hi Moomins welcome & sorry you re here xx
August glad you ve got your results. Think about 2 months seems the norm unfortunately.
Well, I ve finished work now. Had a lovely quiet understated day fish & chips for lunch, followed by cake. Only cried once so was proud of myself. Not concentrating on the fact that I ve finished work again. .
Hi to all; hope everyone is ok?
Love to all xxx

Hello all
Thank you so much to all that have congratulated me on the first hurdle of dna testing
shakey I really feel for you, cant imagine how nervous you must be feeling at this time, just keep reminding yourself that this is a different pregnancy. Thoughts are with you.
ciwi my thoughts are also with you what with little mans birthday coming up and your doppler scan, so hope all is well and you can relax a little bit more.
moomin sorry that you find yourself on this thread but a very big welcome, it has helped me so very much
blue I defo think you should go for the house if you like it when you view, savings can always be made in other areas until things are not quite so tight
too how are you doing? Did mum manage to source the best for the job for you?? I would have killed my dog and the dog walker!!!
august if it feels right to ttc again then you go for it, many of us have yearned for a baby after our losses, its a natural feeling
angel matty leave is finally here!!! Hope things go as well as can be this week on Georgies special day.
jane I think that missing out Zoe at the funeral is just dreadful, it must have felt like you had been kicked in the guts, Im so sorry
Hello green , mel (are you testing this weekend?) and cheese (hope your consultant appt went well).
What a long post!!!
Have a great weekend

Bloody stupid fetal doppler!!! I am still not finding the hb, have hired the bt200 from ebay that claims you can hear from around 10 weeks. I am now 12+1 and can still only find my own pulse......could it be that I have extra padding to get through as I am a good size 14?? Starting to feel uneasy about it now, a bit worried.
Any thoughts???

razz I don't have that doppler but with mine at 12 weeks I had to wait till I had a full bladder and then listen really low down, just above your pubic bone. Don't panic if you can't hear it, the baby has lots of places to hide that early. Also, I thought my doppler said you can hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks but it really says you can hear fetal noises from then. Can you hear blobbing type noises? I couldn't even hear that without a full bladder though.
angel just think of it as being annual leave, the mat leave can start when gils arrives x
august I wanted to ttc straight away too, I got pg about 3 months after losing Ciaran but unfortunately miscarried, I am currently 17 weeks this time and really hoping and praying that we get to take this baby home.
Hi to green, moomin and everyone else x

hi all just a quick one as I have to dash out soon to our Youth Club...

we're going to view the house tomorrow, I'm winning DH over he hadn't thought about the childcare costs and our friends have offered a free of charge van and help to move us! DH was also worried about the cost of renting a van and such...

the supplier of memorial stone for Sterre has emailed some design and they are so lovely! we have chosen one and just changed a word, so I hope it will be ready soon!

Wow lots of posts! I'll catch up later/tomorrow as the kids are still up and had a busy day. Consultant all went fine, lovely as usual, I said how nervous I've been feeling and she asked if there was anything they could do to help with that. She's sooo lovely. The midwives I saw first also both said I could call and go in whenever I want to listen to the baby and make sure all is well even if I just wake up and feel worried or anything. They'd much rather I went in than worried all day. I love the staff there, they're all lovely!

Blood tests need to be redone in 2 weeks but she's not worried at the moment about them, yay! Really happy about that, just hope they don't get any worse but for now it's all good. Back again in 3 weeks and I should have my 20 week scan before then but the appointment will be sent in the post. Insulin was upped again too and I saw the dietitian who gave me some good advice. Hope all are good tonight :) xx

Moomin and August - yes, the groke! That's it! I love it when people can fill in the blanks in my head.

August, sorry to hear that you didn't get any answers. I didn't either and it was very hard to take.

Shakey, FX for the scan next week. I'm sure it will be fine.

Razz, try not to get upset with the doppler - my MW said she wasn't even going to try to listen for the heartbeat until 15 weeks because it was so unreliable before that, and she's trained and experienced.

Angel, yay for no more work! Not long now at all. Thinking of you lots.

Blue, come back and tell us what the house is like! I still haven't got Thea's stone picked out - we started but didn't really like any of the designs in one shop and haven't done anything else about it.

Ciwi, good luck for next week's scan. I'm sorry you're having horrible dreams . Hopefully the scan will calm you down and they'll stop.

It's my birthday today and nothing is how I thought it would be. No Thea, and with this horrible cloud hanging over Bean. Have been crying a bit. I usually get clothes for my birthday but I don't want to buy anything maternity-ish in case it jinxes Bean in some way and I can't wear anything else.

Cheese, X posts - yay for good consultant visit!

cheese your hospital team all sound lovely, glad they are not concerned about your bloods, didn't think they would be, I am sure they will stay fine x
too happy birthday (though I know it's not that happy without thea) It's my birthday next week, 2 days after Ciaran's, I am not looking forward to it but it can't be worse than last year. I am sure your little bean will be fine but it's not nice having the amnio hanging over your head, I hope it's done as soon as possible for you x

oooh Too happy birthday!

We're having a memorial stone done from this workshop as we didn't want a classic marble headstone.

Happy Birthday Too, hope you've cheered up a bit
DS2 is 5 tomorrow... can't believe it. So much to do!
x

Too belated happy birthday. Look at it this will be your worst birthday all being well next year will be totally different. My 40 th was last December 6 weeks after we lost Georgie. My family made a huge effort and we booked a last minute trip to Bruges so we could all be together. It was totally surreal. All i was aware if that this year could only be better..many hugs to you.
Cheese glad today was good xx
Love to all xx

Stuck in this weekend as ds2 is still in his cast and not allowed to walk on it, back on Wednesday to see if it's healed, fingers crossed; and dd1 is getting over being ill too so it's a film and games/snacks etc day. My head is hurting yet again, really fed up of it now and even taking paracetamol makes no difference at all. Hope everyone's ok xx

Moomin welcome, but sorry to see you here :(

Too happy birthday for yesterday, I'm not surprised you didn't enjoy it :( It's my birthday in Nov, on the 11 month anniversary of SCarlett's birth. How long will your amnio results take to come back once you have it?

Blue Did you make a decision about the house? It does sound like a good idea to me :) Those stones look lovely :)

Angel So you've started mat leave now? How many weeks do you have left now?

jane oh that's awful, I would have been very upset too.

green Pamper day would be good if I could hehe! Hope you're having a good week off, lots of relaxing :)

shakey I hope your scans go well, it will be terribly anxious for you but hopefully you'll feel a little better once they're over. Are you going to find out the sex?

ciwi The dream you had sounds awful :( probably is your worries expressing in the dream though. (hugs)

august I don't think you're spoiling Jacob's memory at all, when Scarlett died we needed to try again right away and that wasn't to replace her but because there was a need and a longing for another baby. There was a huge gap in our lives and it just didn't feel right at all, it still doesn't and never will but deciding to try again was the right thing to do for us. As it was it took us about 6 months to conceive.

razz It does take a while to find the heartbeat sometimes and it's always lower down than I think it will be. If you do want to try again then I'd suggest taking it slowly and moving it very slowly around and low down, angling the doppler differently rather than moving it completely each time too.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I'm in love, I'm in love... the house is absolutely perfect! We know the owners, the lady has twins who used to come to our toddler group at church, so the kids were playing while we went round the house! It's so much bigger than where we are now and would be so nice to live in. DH just said I could email the letting agent to secure it Now hoping our current landlord/letting agent won't be too difficult!

Blue that's wonderful! Really glad you've decided to go for it, sounds perfect :o

yeah it does! I'm hoping I'm pregnant by then so I won't have to lift moving boxes

Blue sounds fab. Hope you hear very soon that you ve got it.xxx
Cheese shame you re not feeling any better. Yes, I finished work yesterday. Section is 10 days time. However, this weekend is all Georgie, a year agai today we had just returned from the hospital after being told she had died. So, a very emotional few days now . Just can t believe it's a year since she died/ born. In the depths of our grief I was advised time never stands still , it is transient. However, for a long time it did stand still all I remember was the utter depths of despair & grief. The weather was awful; dark, cold & snowy for a long time which suited our feelings but now all of a sudden there was light again & now we re here a year later without even knowing , really, how we got here.
So surreal. I m trying not to focus on that truely awful weekend & celebrate our Georgie.
It's good for me ( but unfortunate for you lot) that you know completely where I m coming from. This time last year our lives changed forever. Xxxx

big hugs for you Angel