TTC for 10+ months, part 3

[joycep]

The other thread was just about to fill up and so here we are again with a slightly different name now as many of us have been trying for well over 12 cycles now. We had a few great successes on Part 2, with a couple of people getting bfp's on their 17th and 19th month of trying. So let's hope for more successes on Part 3. (Moaning, crying, sadness, anxiety & bitterness is certainly allowed on here!)

MrsD - it's weird in a way - it does seem to be going fast, but on the other hand going slow. Starting to feel a teeny bit real, but really want to get to the feeling kicks stage (which I think is delayed because of my extra padding!)

Izzy - Good luck either with the test, or if that doesn't work out, with the consultant. At least, as you say, the wheels will be in motion.

Euro - so sorry to hear AF might be on her way - that's really crap :(

Stasi Welcome (although sorry you have cause to be here!). You're in the right place for support - and I know what you mean - i's so hard to talk to people in real life about it - I certainly found this thread invaluable in terms of support. I hope it helps you too.

Welcome stasi what an incredibly brave journey you've been on - it has put some of my own blues and worries into stark perspective. I hope that you manage to find some answers with tests etc and remember that 30 is no age at all. You are so right about finding out that baby making is more miracle than we realise.It can be a lonely road and this is a great place to talk, unload, worry, stress and get lots of love and support back. It has helped me no end. Im on cycle 12 now but pretty ill with gastric probs (hence you putting things into perspective) so on a bit of a break and may well not try this month as I want to get a bit better first. I thought we'd ditch the condoms and have a baby 9 months later...but that wasn't to be. It has taught me a lot though. May your stay here be short.

euro bah humbug to spotting. Hug. I have decided that black pants and black toilet paper might be the end to my spotting woes.

Hi cakes and stasi, welcome and thanks for sharing your stories. stasi you must have been to hell and back, I second wine's comments about putting ttc problems into perspective. I hope you both find some comfort and good company here, I know I have. And also about baby making being a miracle, the more I find out about it, the more I wonder how anyone gets pregnant.

Sorry to those spotting/AF arrivals. I hope the miserable hormones bugger off and more positive feelings kick in soon.

mrsd joycep and pixie sympathies for pregnant friends and shopping for baby gear aaargh. I am really really struggling with coping with pregnancy announcements and pregnant friends at the moment. I just cant seem to deal with it at all. Really shocked by the way I have been feeling on occasions -I didnt realise I was capable of such bitterness and envy. It's so ugly, I sometimes worry that ttc is turning me into a monster :( which makes me think I should probably just go and hide away under a rock somewhere. If anyone has any tips for dealing with this kind of thing they would be gratefully received.

On a more positive note I've been listening to the Zita West natural conception cd and it's pretty good. It is a guided relaxation thing which lasts about 20 min, she talks through the different things going on in your body and the process of natural conception whilst using relaxation techniques. I think I will try and do it most nights, as even though it isnt anything earth-shattering, it leaves you with a general sense of positivity and well being. I'd imagine that the more you do it the more that feeling will last, so Im going to keep plugging away with it in an effort to get my mind working with rather than against me.

Hope everyone is having a nice evening. X

Thank you for the kind welcome Biscuits, Kitty and Wine. Though my journey has had a few hurdles, life is just life; we all have our trials. I wouldn't wish my journey on anyone, but I don't feel I deserve any praise for getting through it. I didn't really have a choice. One good side was realising that my Fiancee was one of a kind. I was diagnosed not long after we got together, but he was there with me every step of the way, and is supporting me now in every way he can while we're ttc.

I really hope this month will be the one, but I hope that every time. It's silly the things you convince yourself might be symptoms - my insanity this month is.. hot hands. I've always got freezing cold hands and feet, always - but this month my hands have been warm (which is nice, as my OH will let me cuddle under his t-shirt now ). Maybe I'm pregnant, right .

I'm currently DPO 10 I think, I use an app on my phone to track my cycles, but it doesn't do a DPO count, so I spent ages last night marking symptoms on the calendar to see what my normal luteal phase is - it seems to be about 11 days - day 1 being the day of BBT rise, with my period starting on the 11th day. Is that the right way to count it?

If not this month, then I'm hoping next month will be the one. I'm getting married on the 5th November - and my phone predicts ovulation for the 7th Nov. Surely that's perfect - we'll be up north in a little cottage on the Isle of Skye, just us, a big bed, open fire...

Welcome Stasi, it really does put life into perspective, really glad your man is so good! Isle of Skye is lovely, relax, enjoy and see what happens!!
Two people I know have both asked if i'm pregnant yet and I decided to tell them the truth that I was starting down the tests road both turned round and said sorry wont ask again. I told the one that it is actually nice to be able to talk about it. When I told my mum she basically said it was easier for my dh to get tested
Those of you that have had day 21 blood tests how successful have you been if your cycle is irregular?

Welcome to the thread staci. It does sound like you've been through the mill (an understatement). I hope your stay on this thread isn't a long one and your BFP is just round the corner. Ovulation and honeymoon sounds like a perfect combination.

I've just noticed that there is an infertility section on mn now. This is good for the long termers who don't want to be faced with the endless "am I pregnant" threads that the conception thread gets clogged up with. But I'm not sure I'm ready for the jump from conception to infertility. That seems like a big step.

joycep did your thrush clear up? That was interesting about your blood sugar because I thought that there was a link between blood sugar and thrush but maybe I've made that up . Also, perhaps it was all that manuka honey that gave you a high reading . I've almost finished a pot, it doesn't last long. I have it in yoghurt and I really like it so I might buy some more.

I'm on CD15, no idea if I've ovulated yet because I haven't been temping. I did notice ewcm on Monday but we've been SWI since so now I can't tell if it's still there or not or if it's SWI stuff. Yuk.

Hello everyone and welcome stasi

I'm now 20/21dpo I can't remember. I tested yesterday and got stark white at the test line :( looks like another killer cycle this month...again!

On the plus side we have our appt at clinic tomorrow so fingers crossed that journey leads to a bfp! I'm hoping not to need an hsg or lap as I've conceived before, I think clomid might be the answer!

izzy they might want to do a HSG even if you've conceived before. I think they have a set of investigations that they make everyone go through. Also, I was told by my gynae that sometimes previous conception / mc / pregnancy can leave gunk in the tubes so a HSG can wash this out. But maybe if the consultant is convinced that it is an ovulation problem then they will give you clomid to try. Good luck, I hope the appointment goes well.

Hope the clinic gives you a pathway Izzy - do let us know how it goes. I didn't think I wanted a HSG (as we'd already had ds) but it can clear small blockages (I think it did for me!) Clomid might be good though? Although it does seem you're ovulating, it's the LP thing they need to sort out isn't it. Hope they have an easy answer for it in any event. Good luck xx

Thanks Mrsden and biscuits, maybe I would have the hsg then. I've only ovulated 3 times in 16 months :( Im hoping it goes well anyway. Will update tomorrow x

Hi stasi - oh my god what an awful journey you have been on. Struggling to conceive is one thing but for this to follow cancer, beggars belief. Anyway, I desperately hope in the friendliest way you're not on here for too much longer. In terms of your LP length I think you count all the high temps but don't include the day your period starts.

Kitty - that's interstng about Zita West. i really think i need to listen to calming words every single night. Also I have total empathy for the monster feeling. I've been totally shocked at the nasty things i have thought when someone has announced their pregnancy. Normally I am thinking 'bitch' whilst smiling and 'congratulating' them . tut tut

izzy - sorry you're having a rotten cycle again. How infuriating for you.

Mrsd - i noticed the infertility section but refuse to go on there. I hate the word in itself. I would describe a woman post menopause infertile but all of us on here are ovulating...may be with a little help and may be not every month but still sth is going on and the term infertile sounds so final...yet so many people who have been given the diagnosis of infertility go on to have babies...so how can they be infertile? I think sub-fertility is a kinder word and probably descirbes our situation better.
I had to go and pick up my thrush subscription order from Boots pharmacy the other day and it caused quite a ruckus. They were chatting and discussing and then told me my Gp had lost the plot to prescribe 36 boxes of canestan internal cream. They then asked me what the problem was whilst I was surrounded by people and I was trying to whisper 'it's a recurring problem'. But they didn't have the decentcy to keep their voices down whilst they shouted loudly across to each other about my 'recurring vaginal infection' and never having seen an order like it. Anyway, to cut a long story short they looked it up in a book and then told me my GP was exactly right, she had presribed me 6 months worth. I'm only going to take for two days though to see if that will clear it up. £360 worth of cream for £7.50...not bad!! I feel like i've got an early xmas present.

I've got a wedding a weekend and am hyperventaliting about who is going to tell me they're pregnant. Lots of newly married friends there. It's the initial announcement I loathe where you feel like you 've been punched in the stomach. Also dreading drunk people asking whether i'm pregnant which i had a lot of at the last wedding I went to. My official line will be ' no but please can you refrain from asking this in future. If and when we get pregnant, we will tell people',

Very quick hello as back from hols. What did I miss??

Off to a meeting so will try to read thread later

joycep just be grateful you didn't have to do a mime (as I did when I lived in France and was trying to describe the problem to a pharmacist - I think I mentioned it on here once). That is awful though. I am cringing at the thought of having someone shout around the shop about your recurring vaginal infection. Gah!

I am the same with pregnancy announcement - the initial announcement feels like a punch in the gut. Once I have dealt with that, I am fine with the ongoing pregnancy and when the baby comes along.

Welcome Stasi. What a nightmare you have lived through.

Kitty the zita west thing sounds good. I have recently taken up yoga again after several years and I do like the way it makes me feel. I try to meditate but I am not good at making the time. Aside from the acupuncture I am giving up on "woo". No more manuka honey or crazy supplements. After 11 cycles of perfectly timed swi, I have reached the conclusion that I need assistance for it to happen. And not the small nudge that the woo can give but the proper big guns loads of drugs medical assistance. Next month I have the NHS gynae to follow up on all of the tests we have had and then a couple of weeks after that I have a private appointment with a reproductive immunologist. I am ovulating, my tubes are clear, my hormones are ok, hubby's sperm levels are fine, so I am convinced the problem is with implantation and all of the tests so far are leading to that. Hopefully the immunology guy can help us.

Hi again everyone... I'm a bit worried that my posts seem a bit selfish just now. I don't really know how to do forums... As I'm new here I'm worried that if I start commenting on everything people say, it'll seem a bit 'empty'. Like 'how can she care, she doesn't even know me'. Do you understand what I mean?

I think I've been ovulating every month, at least from my BBT readings. I have a very consistent temperature cycle - even if it's not very consistent in it's timings. Period to ovulation is around 36.4 degrees, post ovulation 36.6 and a drop to about 36.3 the day I start my period.

Only once has this ever deviated, with my period (why do people use 'AF' what does it stand for?) starting 2 days after the temperature drop.

I'm starting to worry if the problem could be more my Other Half... I've made him his first doctors appointment in 5 years for Tuesday, and am going to try and get him to talk to the doctor and ask if he can do a test. He doesn't know this yet.. he thinks he's going along because of an ingrown toenail.

I feel really bad for kind of hoping it is 'his' problem. I but it seems like there would be a lot more they can do for that. Am I right? If he just has a low sperm count or something then maybe they can just pick out a nice healthy one to fertilise an egg for me?

I put a few of my charts on FF here. I only found them this month, but have been using an Android app OvuView for the charting since Aug 2010. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a way to export all the data from it. Though it can create images of my charts, so I might do that to review them all side-by-side.

Stasi don't panic! Your posts aren't selfish at all. It takes a while to get to know who everyone is and what's going on with everyone. Especially on a thread like this where everyone has a bit of a ttc 'history'.

Forgotten what else I wanted to say - hang on....

AF=aunt flo, a twee name for your period!

I am not good with all the name checking, tbh, and I have been here ages. i tend to pop in briefly, skim the new posts and reply to those where I have something to say!

Stasi the other thing u was going to say was you might find that your GP wants to do basic test on both of you. I'm sorry - I forget from your earlier post what you've done so far, but the first time we went to the GP, DH and I went together and he ordered blood tests (day 3 and day 21) for me and a semen analysis (SA) for DH.

You're right though, sometimes it seems easier to fix a male problem. Dh's first SA showed low motility so we started him on conception vits for men and the one he had 3 mths later showed an improvement.

Right, must go....

I don't agree that a sperm problem is easier to fix. Unless it's a minor problem with just below average results that can then be improved by some lifestyle problems. Up until ICSI was developed in the 90s there was nothing that could be done for male factor because normal IVF doesn't work. Even now with a severe male factor infertility ICSI seems to be the only solution. My gynae told me that of all the problems, an ovulation one is the easiest to solve because there are things (like clomid and other drugs) that can force ovulation. Tube problems can sometimes be cleared and if not then normal IVF can work. Immunology problems are still not properly understood so they are hard to overcome too.

Don't worry about what you post staci, it takes a while to get to know everyone and their background. Just write whatever you want, that's what I do anyway!

joycep how mortifying for you at the chemist!! I feel for you. At least you didn't know anyone in there. It makes so much more sense to prescribe you loads of cream otherwise you'd have to keep going back and paying the prescription charge. You are so lucky to have the nhs to pay for drugs, I hate to think what I would have to pay here. I've just had the bill for some of the blood tests (progesterone, glucose, insulin, LH, FSH) and it is £200! How can simple blood tests cost so much?

I hate weddings because people always seem to talk about pregnancy and babies at them. I also hate them because it usually means that the couple getting married will soon be pregnant. Talking of weddings, did you see the latest photo of Kate in the red dress? It's the first time I've seen her in something a bit loose so I reckon she's upduffed.

oh yes euro - i forgot about your experience hahah!

saw some photos the other day of Kate and I immediately thought she looked pregnant - she was beaming and i noticed a lot of comments said 'tummy'. I think an announcement will be in the next 6 wks. Of course I am not thinking about this too much!! I do wonder how she will get her scans and things though. I imagine she goes to Harley Street in the middle of the night.

Sorry MrsD - I was posting in haste and meant to go on to say more. (DS was at the playground and then suddenly decided he wanted to leave so I had to finish up quickly!)

As you say it depends what the problem is - either male or female can have easy or more difficult probs. we were lucky that our male prob seemed to resolve easily, along with the help from the HSG.

Am at the fair at the mo, so will catch you all later xx

Right have read the thread to catch up on the last two weeks, but can't remember much of it! But I did want to say how sorry I was about the spotting and periods and other such unpleasantries, especially for Joycep having paid good money towards it this month :(

Mine arrived at the weekend. So I am now on CD5, due to get shagging again soon. I was ok about it as I was on holiday and was having too much fun. Not least because we got engaged . Not much chance we'll be the "soon they'll be pregnant" couple though. I've lost chance of what cycle we are on, 16 or 17 I think. But what I am dreading is everyone asking us at our wedding when we are going to have kids. Mind your own fucking business is when! I have a TumbleWomb don't you know? Mind you, I might give the sperm frittata recipe a go

I am feeling a bit lacking in dedication compared to you all, as other than my day 3/21 bloods and OH's first SA, we haven't done any more about it. I really really must get some progress now holiday is out of the way. But OH can't go for his second SA until we get Shag week out of the way, as he has to abstain for 3 days beforehand. It's so irritating, all this waiting around.

Better go to bed now as still a bit jet-lagged. Hello to newbies, and sorry for forgetting to reply to all the other posts. Who is on the 2ww just now?

Aw congrats Nelly on getting engaged - great news

That's lovely news nelly congratulations :)

Congrats nelly .

Is it your appointment today izzy, I hope it goes ok.

You're right biscuits that it depends what the exact problem is. In some ways I feel quite fortunate that at least we have an answer as to what is stopping us ttc. I think that unexplained is difficult to deal with because there are no answers.

You know the stats about 95% conceiving within 2 years (or whatever it is), do you think this thread is going to get a rush of BFPs as we each approach the 2 year mark, or do you think we are the 5%? It seems a long time since biscuits BFP that surely we are due another one but then I was worrying that we are the 5%. Also, I wonder if the 95% had any tests done and whether they did have anything shown up as wrong. Because now I know about DH's bad sperm I don't know if that means that I am definitely part of the 5%, or whether some of the 95% actually had crap sperm too but still manage to get lucky within 2 years. Sorry this is a ramble, I don't think I've made any sense.

I wish I was temping this month because I've no idea if I've ovulated yet. But it's nice not having to stick a thermometer in my mouth the moment I wake up. Is anyone in the 2ww? Now I'm on cycle 17, it feels like each cycle is racing by. I'll be at the two year mark in no time.

Congrats nelly! What lovely news.

I will be chasing you through your cycle this month - I am on CD 4 today, so 2 days behind you.

I wonder about the statistics too, mrsd. I think it's something like 80% get pregnant within a year. And a lot of those won't have been timing it for at least some of the time. It's that kind of thing that makes me sure that something is up as we have 11 cycle of perfectly-timed swi behind us.