TTC for 10+ months, part 3

[joycep]

The other thread was just about to fill up and so here we are again with a slightly different name now as many of us have been trying for well over 12 cycles now. We had a few great successes on Part 2, with a couple of people getting bfp's on their 17th and 19th month of trying. So let's hope for more successes on Part 3. (Moaning, crying, sadness, anxiety & bitterness is certainly allowed on here!)

Izzy when you had that mammoth cycle before was that longer due to a delay in ovulation (ie still had normal ish LP) or do you mean your last LP was 54 days?

Hope that AF doesn't turn up for your lovely weekend away - hope you and your DH have a fabulous weekend xx

I meant last luteal phase was 54 days! Ov was late too tho x

Well I hope AF stays away for the weekend and then either comes at a reasonable time, or, preferably, not at all because a BFP is forthcoming

Morning ladies,

I'm on cycle 12 now Kitty. I have an appointment booked with the consultant in 4 weeks, so will see what they think once the results are all in. There was a very brief mention of clomid being a possibility (though I've ovulated every month since I've been usinbg opks & the reults I've had so far seem to back this up).

Hope we all have nice, chilled out weekends, I especially like the sound of yours Izzy! And a remote cottage for next week sounds fab too Madness, enjoy!

Morning and a lovely sunny Saturday to you all. Well af came in the middle of the night, I dreamt I was being stabbed! And only 2 days of barely there spotting so I think that's probably within normality? It's v light again though

So, hello cycle 12! pixie I'm keeping you company. Clomid was also mentioned to me but I feel a bit resistant to it given that I ovulate just fine by myself.

There is a lovely thread with a hopeful story in conception at the moment. It cheered me right up. So this month it's cough medicine and reading for me and new acu lady in the run up to ov. I'm going to keep on fighting the good fight against putting my poor little eggs in a dish!

Hello ladies!

I am back from my travels (thankfully).

I'm 11dpo (of a usual 12-13) and feeling v PMTish so I am pretty sure I will be on to cycle 12 in a couple of days.

Still, if there were a baby in there it might be a bit pickled by now as I have done a lot of entertaining this month (mostly business, some personal and a wedding).

Morning,

I hope AF stays away euro. I'm sorry that AF got you wine.

joycep I am so sorry that AF got you too. Just keep thinking that IUI usually takes a few attempts. But I can understand how rubbish you must be feeling.

I have been trying not to think off ttc so much but it's not working very well. It's still the first thing I think of when I wake up. Really, I need to get my head around the fact that we won't be ttc until we start IVF because a natural BFP is so unlikely. It appears that there is a massive baby boom this year, everyone is pregnant. Even DH commented yesterday that so many people we know are pregnant. I have decided that for self preservation purposes I am going to try and limit my contact with pregnant friends. I know this means that I might lose them but I feel like we don't have much in common now anyway and it is so painful for me to be around them. I went shopping with one friend on Saturday and I had an awful time, all she talked about was the baby and dragged me in so many baby related shops. It was my own fault, I shouldn't have agreed to go with her, I do not need that kind of torture.

hi ladies - wine - sorry about af and coming in the middle of the night..urgh. That is always one of my worst fears especially if I'm staying in someone else's house.
izzy - any news?
Euro - i hope your travels were ok. Sorry you're pmtish. what a bore for you.
mrsd - you're sounding down. are you ok? I like to stay away from pregnant people too. It's not healthy. And actually i now realise that i don't have such an issue with babies than i do with pregnant people. I had such a problem with my friend being pregnant but i saw her with her baby and it was so cute but i genuinely was not jealous of the baby itself. I had a pang of, oh my god I don't think i will ever produce a baby but apart from that no jealousy. I obviously wasn't hormonal that day.

DH and I have decided to move out of the city. We always wanted to move to the sticks after having a baby and for over a year now, i have been sitting around complaining about being in limbo and not being able to get on with our lives because we are just waiting around for me to get pregnant. I've become semi-reclusive and melancholy, so we've decided to do things the other way around and get on with things we can control. I do wonder whether all these GPs are right and i just need to 'relax' and not think about it. I've been told all sorts of scary stuff by gynaes and fertility clinics which has quite frankly frightened the hell out of me and moving surely will take my mind off all of this. Obviously it may not make me pregnant but i know i will be much happier with some outdoor space as opposed to holed up in a poky flat!

Morning ladies,

I'm with you Mrs Den. I spent part of the weekend with friends & their babies and small children, I was OK while we were together (maybe a bit quiet), but afterwards I just felt sad. A few months ago (when I was oblivious to just how hard ttc could become) I was happy to talk a bit about it with them, but now I really don't want to. Part of me knows that they'd be lovely & supportive, but even if that were the case I can't see how it wouldn't still upset me. I don't know what to do about seeing them really, as not seeing them would upset me too!

Anyway, nice to have you back Euro, there seem to be a few of us upto around cycle 12.

Hope you get to move soon Joycep. Waves at everyone else

Morning ladies - sorry AF has got some of you

Joyce I can really relate to what you say about being in limbo. We were similarly waiting to move until we got pg and I think then we weren't just waiting to get pg, the move and me giving up work were also hanging on it. Eventually we just went with it and moved anyway.

It wasn't until 3 mths after we moved and 6 mths after I'd given up work that we got pg. and I won't even suggest this was because I forgot about it (although the move did take my mind off it a little). I think the HSG and improvement in dh's SA were the reason it worked.

But even if we hadn't got pg I still don't think we would have regretted the move - we're all so happy having done something we wanted to do for ages.

So I think you're dead right to do what you want. There are other reasons to move out of the city (ie you probably don't want to do it only for a baby - i guess you and dh want it too?) and it is far too easy to get hung up on the trigger being getting pg, but if it something you want to do anyway then why wait? We put our lives on hold too much for ttc and I think if you can erase a bit of the 'limboland' then all the better.

Hi
I'm new here so hope I make sense. I've just turned 29, been trying ttc for a year after being on the pill for three years. af all over the place but particularly bad last 3 months. Had my lh fsh rubella chlamydia tests done all fine. Progesterone test done but coincided with suspected ovulation rather than being after it so attempt 2 next week. dh has his appt for SA at end of month and i'm being referred to specialist. Somehow we are still managing to bd frequently but not routinely so still enjoying it.

I can definitely recommend the country living,new places or new jobs help take the mind off that constant 'Why can't I get pregnant thinking'

It's been really hard over last 6 months so many family members and people around me getting pg and all I want is for it to be me, added to which the feeling of not understanding my body, what is going on and what the potential problem is. I think the biggest overiding thought though is not having anyone to talk to who understands, who can make it make a bit more sense. If I can even halfway understand I don't think it will feel quite as bad. So i'm hoping by being on mumsnet will help.

Thanks biscuits, it's always actually nice to have a reassurance from someone who has done it. I know we wouldn't regret it because it's for us and not for our imaginary baby. At the beginning of the year I certainly didn't feel ready to leave. We have friends here etc etc and I just had this plan all in my head of how I was expecting things to go. But the baby plan can't be a plan anymore and I have got so wrapped up in it that DH and I don't seem to have anything to look forward to ...which is appalling considering we have our health and we're happy together etc etc. anyway, hence the thought of getting on with the move etc etc. Obviously if sth still doesn't happen by next year we will be going down the ivf route but we can cross that bridge then. Out of interest , how old were you when you had your first baby??

I was 30 when I had DS, almost 31 and then 34 this time (I think - I normally have to ask DH to confirm my age as I forget ).

I got pg 1 yr before DS too but had a m/c so would have been 29 then I think.

Do you think I should be worried that I genuinely have to double check my age?

I was 30 when I had DS, almost 31 and then 34 this time, or maybe I am 33 now and will be 34 when the baby arrives? Hold on.....

Yes I think that's right.

Do you think I should be worried that I normally have to ask DH to confirm my age because I can't remember?

I also got pg 1 yr before DS so must have been 29 then, but that ended in a m/c.

haha, yes very worried biscuits and you've repeated yourself!! no only kidding. So it took you a year after a m/c to get pregnant the first time. do you have a big bump now?

Ah, the repeating myself was just posting on my phone and it said it didn't work the first time!

I am however genuinely forgetful about the age thing

The m/c was just over a year before DS was born, so i got pg 2nd mth of trying for the mc, then we waited for one whole cycle after the m/c and then got pg 3rd mth of trying with DS. Then as you know, very much longer for this pg.

And the bump is coming along thanks. Think I look pg rather than fat now, but still not enough bump to do much justice to maternity tips iyswim.

Good to hear from you biscuits.

I'm 17dpo and no sign of AF. Had a little spotting yesterday but its not come to anything. I guess I'm on for a ridiculous cycle again! On the plus side we have our fertility appt on Fri. Kind of expecting to be told to get lost cos my blir is so high!

Bmi not blir!

Do you think you will test Izzy (in case it isn't just an odd cycle?)

I reckon if no AF it would be at least worth testing on Friday to know one way or the other before your appointment. By then I guess you would be 20-21 dpo which should give you a correct answer one way or the other?

I don't know what they thing about BMIs - I thought we might get told off a bit (my BMI is about 28-29) but no one mentioned it.

I can't believe how fast your pregnancy is going biscuits, does it seem real yet?

izzy I don't think they will tell you to get lost because of your BMI, and if they do then that is totally out of order. I hope you have a positive appointment, sometimes it's good just to feel that the ball is rolling.

Welcome cakes, we all know how you feel. I hope you won't be on this thread for long (in the nicest possible way )

pixie I'm not too bad around babies, it's pregnant women that make me feel sad, but like joycep said I sometimes hold babies and wonder if I will ever hold my own. I don't think that any of my pregnant friends would have a clue about what I'm feeling so I doubt they would be supportive. I've also found that they are understandably wrapped up in their own excited bubble and don't really have time for anything unrelated to their own pregnancy.

joycep I don't feel too down, I didn't mean to give that impression. It's just I had a pretty awful day on saturday, totally my own fault because I agreed to go shopping with a friend who is 26 weeks pregnant so of course she wanted to buy baby stuff. I realise now I should have turned down the trip and from now on I'm going to limit the contact I have with pregnant friends as much as I can. I don't want to withdraw completely so I'm going to make a real effort to spend time with non-pregnant people. I'm like you and I'm usually ok once they have the baby. I don't want their baby, I want my own.

Moving sounds like an excellent plan. It will give you something else to focus on and I think looking for new houses is really exciting. Will you move outside of London?

I suppose it can do no harm to test again...I last tested at 14 dpo I think. Pretty sure its just a rubbish cycle again.

I hope you are both correct about bmi. I am doin somethin to reduce it so hope they see that! Lookin forward to setting the wheels in motion as it were x

I feel properly PMT-mental today. I know my period is imminent. I am just awash with hormones! I feel almost dizzy with them. I just wish the bleeding would start because then they will start to ease off.

I did a cheapy test last night and thought I saw the faintest of faint lines, but I think my eyes were just playing tricks on me because I did another this morning with FMU and that was definitely negative. I've had instances before where I thought I saw a faint line on a cheapy only to get my period. I think that particular brand of cheapies are just a bit rubbish. The one I used this morning was a different brand.

And now I am spotting. At least that should mean that the mental dials down shortly.

Hi everyone,

My name is Anastasia, though I've always gone by the name Stacy/Stasi. I think of myself as quite a healthy person, I'm not over or underweight, I try to eat healthily (most of the time), don't drink, don't smoke, and try to get exercise every day (though I fail quite often these days), and turned 30 in June this year.

Unfortunately I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in August 2009, underwent surgery to remove the tumour, and 6 months of chemotherapy ending Feb 2010. I was offered one round of IVF before starting the chemo, but decided to turn it down at the time, as my local hospital doesn't have the licence to store eggs - only embryos - and I wasn't comfortable making and freezing embryos as a 'just in case' policy. If it turned out we didn't need them, could I destroy them? give them to science? give them to another couple? For eggs I think I could have done any of the above, but for me, embryos are something different, and I couldn't.

We waited for a year to get my all-clear result from tests and CT scan, then I stopped taking the pill, and started trying for a baby in Sept 2010 - on my Fiancee's 29th birthday.

I've found it really interesting how the reality of getting pregnant just doesn't match up with what we were told as teenagers. I remember all the stories about how easy it is to get pregnant. The government are so desperate to cut down the rate of teenage pregnancies they don't tell you any of the facts. So when I started all this, I just thought all it would take to get pregnant was forgetting to take the pill once!

Well, it's been a long road now, with lots of research and hoping. I've learnt so much and am now amazed at the miracle that is making a new life.

I had an appointment with a fertility specialist in Dec 2010 - but as it was only 3 months after stopping my pill, we decided that it was too early to do any of the more invasive tests. I had an internal ultrasound which showed no scarring on my tubes or womb, and that I had ovulated that month. Since then I've put off getting back in touch with the department every month - thinking this time it would be fine, this month we'll get pregnant. I've finally given in and made an appointment, but the first available one wasn't till January next year. Are services really that busy?

My reason for joining here is really to have someone to talk to. I don't have friends I can talk to about this, as I feel like no-one would understand. They all feel too young to have children - though the oldest is 32, and the youngest 28. With family there's a resistance to talk about it too. My Mum is convinced all I need to do is get drunk and it'll magically happen. My sister was my main support, but her fiancee died suddenly in January of a heart attack, just as they were planning to try for another baby.. so I'm reluctant to turn to her for support.

I hope being part of a community like this I can find an outlet for all the things I don't feel I can talk to anyone about.

Thank you for reading.. sorry it was so long.
Stasi