TTC for 10+ months, part 3

[joycep]

The other thread was just about to fill up and so here we are again with a slightly different name now as many of us have been trying for well over 12 cycles now. We had a few great successes on Part 2, with a couple of people getting bfp's on their 17th and 19th month of trying. So let's hope for more successes on Part 3. (Moaning, crying, sadness, anxiety & bitterness is certainly allowed on here!)

AF has arrived. So onto cycle 17 for me.

Sorry to hear that mrsd.

I am on CD15 and I think I ov'd last night. That would be good as hubby has to have his repeat SA next week an ov was later than expected, I might have ov'd during his abstaining period. I need a couple more temps to confirm ov though.

I am trying preseed for the first time this month. It is well-timed as I seem to be having quite a "dry" month. I do every now and then.

Hello everyone. It's been ages but I've finally found time to post after mistakenly posting on the old thread.
I've had the results of my 21 day bloods in July and I have raised levels of prolactin. I had a scan prior to this and do not have PCOS. I've been trying to find information on raised prolactin levels and can only discover info about the drugs. I'm interested because all the indications of high proclactin aren't evident at all. No problems with proliferal vision or producing milk. Apart from the fact that I'm still not preg after all this time of course.My Doc was V positive and said she suffered the same and once she started to take the meds she was preg within months. I've got an apt at clinic in a couple of weeks.
Just an update from me really. I'm hoping for good things for all of you as quickly as possible. I'll check back with you all tomorrow as I've got a late work thing tonight.
Cupcakes with surprise jewelry inside for all!

ladymalfoy do you know how high your prolactin was? Mine was slightly raised after the first blood test so then I had two more done which had lower levels. The Dr told me that stress (for example because of the blood test) can cause raised levels so if your level was only a bit over normal then it's possible that it could actually be normal.

Hello, only me. Sorry your period came mrsden, hope you're ok. Thank you to everyone who has said lovely supportive things to me during what has been the lowest point of ttc for me, which is a shame as I was feeling very positive. It means a lot to come on here and find that people have said rational and reassuring things, as ttc has stripped me of rational thinking I think.

Today was my hycosy appointment. I have been so unbelievably anxious about this and ttc in general, that I've actually made myself ill and have been signed off work! I suffer from stomach ulcers and my gp suspects I've nother one brewing, I've been in so much pain this week. So now I'm on 6 weeks of meds where you can't ttc. Sigh. To add insult to injury, the consultant today couldn't get the catheter through my cervix, in spite of lengthy trying. So I went home none the wiser and on the waiting list for a lap and dye. I feel cheated! Just before I went in for my turn, there was a lady screaming in a labour pain way whilst she had hers done. Me and the other two waiting ladies got very scared! Whilst I was waiting for them to get the catheter in, dh sat and held my hand and it was all very surreal because the previous lady had been so distressed and was ever so tearful. We could even hear them telling her about where there were problems. I wish they'd considered soundproofing issues a but more. It s the first time they'd used hycosy there, so there were three trainee sonographers, the nurse and the consultant. I'm glad I did a pube tidy!

So now I'm at home with a very sore cervix and 6 days off work. I haven't been off work for a very long time, not even on leave. I feel a bit pathetic and broken. The consultant did say that my fsh results were not really a problem to him as it's under ten and also he would much rather they were checked on day 2 at least twice, as day 5 is usually the time it starts to climb. I ovulated on day 13 this month, so am hoping that this is true and next time they'll be better. He was really lovely and so was his nurse, so I do feel in good hands. Realistically, by the time I've finished these meds, and had a month off trying for the lap, its going to be Christmas before we are back to trying. Even more mouldy eggs!! I'm so tired of it. It has stopped even feeling like being on a journey to having a tiny person in my body, home and family - it feels medical and about my body letting me down.

But, I do feel it's time to have a break anyway. I want to get well, back to yoga and peaceful things and happier times. Me and dh are going to go away for our anniversary later this month and I've booked in with another acupuncturist that my friend goes to, I've told her all about stuff on the phone and asked that I have treatment for relaxation and well being and not fertility. Not yet anyway.

skeleton good luck on your placement. Is it primary?

kitty and others (sorry for forgetting!) good luck as you start the tests. For all my blathering on here, it is helpful to feel like you're on a path forward.

joycep my lovely, where are you up to? Hope the waiting isn't driving you too doolally.

Sorry for the long post. Needed an outlet today.

Oh wine I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time, and that today didn't go well, how frustrating :(

I've had cystitis for days now, it was getting better, but feels bad again tonight, plus I have a bellyache, feel rubbish!

But we did exchange on our house!

MrsD Thanks for replying but although I didn't get the exact level I'm presuming it was higher than slightly raised because my Doc said that even my job wouldn't explian how high the levels were. I also remember her asking if my nose ran a lot!
Just hoping I can get by without having to have the MRI. Although having it done by House would be ok!

if you do have high prolactin lady malfoy then I think it can be easily fixed with medication once they rule out stuff, so it might be what has been stopping you getting pregnant which is good news as medication can solve it. I've never had an MRI but my friend had one when she had a shoulder problem and she said it was fine, just very noisy.

wine I'm sorry that you are no further forward. How frustrating. I'm also sorry that you are ill. I hope you are taking it easy today.

I feel ok today, it's funny how I always feel a bit better by CD2. It must be the hormones. I had an awful day on Wed and had a proper cry to DH about everything. We had a very long talk and have decided not to bother with the IUI because we worked out that we would still have to pay approx £800 insurance excess plus the cost of the HSG and the chances of it working are so slim that we decided that we should concentrate on saving for IVF. So that is what we're doing. We are planning to make an appointment with the clinic for May when we should have saved enough. It was the hardest thing to decide to do this. But we did a lot of research into IUI with low sperm count and it seems we'd be throwing our money away and then it would be longer until we could start IVF. And being realistic ICSI is our best hope. Of course I still secretly hope that we might get a miracle BFP in the meantime.

A friend in the UK is having her babyshower tomorrow, she'd invited me and I was so pleased to be living in another country to have an excuse not to go! She is also doing one of those bump photoshoots, I really hope she doesn't try to email me the photos. Why would anyone want to show other people their bump?

HI Ladies,

Mrsd - sorry to hear about AF and that you have had an awful time. They must be waves of emotions effected by hormones. And i didnt' realise you would have to pay excess on insurance for iui. If it had been all free on insurance, i would have suggested just to go for it. How are you feeling about coming to the icsi decision? And out of interst is it cheaper where you are than in the UK? May is when we will start going down the ivf route as well. That would be 2years of trying. I can't even bear the thought of another person inviting me to a babyshower - and what the hell is a bump photoshoot? I will never be like that.

Wine - oh i'm so sorry you are unwell and have been signed off work as if ttc isn't harding enough. I hope you are ok. Oh and i'm sorry about the hsg not going through. Did they not try and use a different catheter?? This is what they did on me as there were too many angles in my cervix...she used a Sydney catheter which goes round corners. And what a horror show to hear a woman screaming before you. I think that's terrible that other patients have to hear that. Have they relaxed you a bit about the fsh levels though??

*Karbea - so sorry about cystitis. It's truly horrible. i hope you are downing gallons of cranberry juice though.

Euro - good luck with the preseed.

skele - hope your dh's resultstoday are ok.

Thanks for people's well wishes. No news my end. I take progesterone for another week but i fully expect my boobs to deflate before then which tells me it's a no go. I am really not holding any hope. I'm giving it 3 iui cycles because the vast majority conceive in those 3 cycles so if it doesn't work, then we'll know.

I keep going through waves of distress. I can't really expalin it but i think it's just anxiety of it not happening. I get annoyed by seeing so many mothers with young kids walking beside them and then they all seem to be pushing an even younger one in a pram. Last weekend was particularly bad in the park - there were just so many happy families with young babies. I also have been having dreams about being pregnant and last night i dreamt i was looking after my daughter. It's so horrible when i wake up.

Anyway enough enough already. sorry!

Sorry to hear everyone seems to be a bit down in the dumps.

I'm ok, plodding along and now 7dpo and getting the urge to test lol hilarious really isn't it! I think its cos I have might have actually ovulated so there is a part of me that thinks maybe we might have managed it! Time will tell I guess...

Hello all,

Hopefully with Friday evening and the weekend properly here everyone's spirits will lift.

Well done mrsden for coming to what sounds like a difficult but very sensible decision. I know a couple who have just started icsi privately. It all sounds scary but with all of the investigations that you have had already I bet that you will be able to take it in your stride.

Your hospital experience sounds terrible wine. Soundproofing and privacy often seem to be afterthoughts. You'd think that keeping the other patients relaxed would make their job a lot easier. Not the same as medical treatments. but when applying for a visa in the Glasgow immigration office you sat in a completely silent room listening to other people being told that they were being refused entry to the country and quite personal details about their finances and such. I felt really sorry for some of them, and began to panic unnecessarily for myself!

Try to keep your spirits up Joycep. This probably feels like your longest ever 2ww........

I started spotting this month at 7dpo (as per usual these days) but have been bleeding quite heavily ever since (sorry, tmi). I'm really hoping that they'll look into this when I get to the clinic. I'm worried though that they'll brush it off. Even if I wasn't ttc I would want to do something about 2 week long periods. It's starting to really piss me off . Oh well, better than :( I guess.

Have a lovely weekend to everyone that I've missed out as well!

Grr CD28 just turned into CD1. I suppose it is nice to have my perfect 27-day cycle back. But it is the bloody 18th or so AF since TTC which I don't think is fair. So there.

On other notes, much sympathy for my nearly cycle buddy mrsd glad to hear you are feeling better. And on wine's behalf, that is outrageous!

Waves at the others, need to do loads before going to work again...

Happy Sunday! I'm being a lazy arse, reading the papers. Just had a tearful call from my friend who hasn't slept the past two nights with her teething 7 month old. I guess the tumble womb has some advantages, I got a lush 8 hours last night

I'm still crook. Stomach ulcer and ibs combo is pretty rubbish so I'm hoping the meds kick in soon, as I need all the healthy pma I can muster as I approach the anniversary of deciding to skip the condom part.

Karbea sorry to her about cystitis, she is no friend of ttc. Angela Kilmartin has loads of good advice, of you do a quick google. Since I read her book, I've never had it again although since the catheter fiddling it's been SORE down there!

mrsden do you feel better now you have a decision made? I'm sure it was a tough call, but I think I'd be inclined to make the same choice. We need our money for ivf and I fear iui would fritter it away.

joycep hang on in there. When is the two week wait officially up? They did try out various catheters but i think it was just shut like a clam. It kind of sums up how I imagine my reproductive organs - unfriendly!

madness I'm spotting a week ahead of af this month. I did ov early and I have been cervically intruded (!) but its rare that I don't spot for about 3 days. Sometimes it's longer. I'm convinced this is not how it should be and can't believe there isnt an answer to it.

Af sympathies lemon.

Well, I'm living in a month where I can't possibly be pregnant and I have to say it is much less stressful, even though I do feel like it's a waste. The month has gone by very quickly and it almost

Oo mumsnet kept kicking me off! Maybe I should stop going on about stuff!

Hello lovelies,

Hope you all had a nice weekend.

Joy cep fingers firmly crossed for you.
Wine this month I knew I couldnt be either and I think it was easier.

I'm on cd2 af got me at day 23, back having very short cycles again, guess the acupuncture isnt working, I'm thinking about stopping it...

Thanks for the nicewordsabout the cycitis it's gonenowwhich is good but it sure did drag on! Ouch!

Morning!

I'm pleased the cystitis has gone karbea, that is not what you need when ttc! Do you ovulate early in your short cycles?

Sorry you are still sick wine, I hope you feel better soon.

How are you doing joycep, I have everything crossed for you. How many dpo are you now?

We didn't realise we had to pay an excess on our insurance of IUI either. But DH spoke to the insurance and they said we could have 3 cycles but we'd have to pay about £800 in excess. And I'd also have to pay about £500 for the HSG first. I know that if we have IVF we have to have all the tests incl. HSG again but they are all included in the IVF price. I think the total cost here is cheaper than in the UK. If we had unexplained infertility then I'd think IUI was a good option but having done quite a lot of reading about it, the odds are not good for severe male factor. So I know we are better saving for IVF which will give us our best chance. But it's hard knowing that I won't be actively doing anything for several months. Of course we are still trying and hoping for a natural BFP but I don't really believe that's going to happen.

joycep a bump photoshoot is where you get Demi Moore style photos taken of you and your bump, semi naked I think . I can't imagine why you want to have those taken, I mean you can't really stick them up on your lounge wall- I really hope my friend doesn't send me any to look at. She phoned me yesterday to tell me all about her baby shower. TBH it sounds like the main purpose of one is to get lots of lovely presents. It took her 10 mins to tell me everything that people had bought her.

How is everyone else getting on? Is anyone else in the 2ww?

Hello mrsden,

I ov'd on day 11, so had a short lut phase. I thought lut phases were supposed to be a constant number of days, mine don't seem to be. Oh rubbish body!

I cannot imagine why anyone would want a picture like that, some people! Haha!

Morning ladies!

Some of use seem to be having a rough time of it!

Sorry to hear about the evil cystitis, Karbea. I am glad it has cleared up.

The hyscosy experience sounds horrible, wine. BTW, my HSG was more or less painfree and they had no trouble getting the catheter through, but even so I found Mr euro bumping it during swi excrutiating the first few times afterwards. I just thought I should warn you! At least you are having a month off so you shouldn't feel obliged to "go deep" like i did (whilst not letting him see me wince so it didn't put him off his stroke...).

mrsd, I am 5dpo at the moment and enjoying a few more days of peace before the inevitable pointless symptom spotting starts.

I think most bump photoshoots are clothed? I have seen some bump pictures used as the profile pictures on other fora and they were obviously taken in a studio so are presumably part of a bump photoshoot, and they were definitely clothed bumps! Or maybe it depends on whether the individual thinks she looks like Demi Moore or not...

Madness - sorry about the bleeding. They definitely should look in to the spotting from 7dpo...don't let them shrug you off.

wine - i hope you 're feeling better this morning.

Mrsd - yuk yuk with the photoshoot. I know most people do that in the privacy of their own home but to have you mates round for a babyshower and do that. weird!

Well for about the tenth month in a row, i have flipping thrush again. And this cant be blamed on too much sex. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go and see my gp. I'm so bored of this every month and i can see DH has it again after he used cream for two weeks to get rid of it. We've only had sex about 3 times in the last month. grrr.
I think i'm about 11dpo today so AF would naturally come today or tomorrow if i wasn't on progesterone. However, my boobs have completely deflated and don't hurt at all. My boobs are like my own home pregnancy test. Also another good test for me is whether i'm totally irrational when someone gets in my way on my walk to work. I am very blase and relaxed for all the month except before AF. Well i failed completely when someone cycled along the pavement and nearly knocked me over. I was f'ing and blinding under my breath - totally irrational! The bfp month i didn't have any of this.

So i know in my heart of hearts it's game over this month. TBH, I didn't expect it to work.

Afternoon. I'm snuggled up on the sofa watching the rain. Had a follow up apt at the gps this morning and had a chat. He said, 'well when you get pregnant' (about meds I'm on) and I said, do you think that will happen after this amount of time and he said, almost definitely, it might just take you a while. He seemed so certain! It made me feel a little more hopeful, even though I think I know more about him that infertility! He had to ask what a hsg was...

euro your post made me smile, and yes bloody hell sex hurt this weekend and I didn't even have a full hsg. They were poking it for ages though. It felt like I'd been kicked in-between the legs! I hope your two week wait isn't too stressy. One of these days...are you currently in the unexplained box?

joycep still thinking of you in your wait. You never know what might be happening. I really hope that your boobs aren't failproof. Try to keep positive, you will get there. I get thrush sometimes and only ever in the two week wait. Maybe it's a progesterone thing? In which case it might be a good sign! Sorry if this is a bit too much info but I found swapping to simple shower gel was helpful as was ditching my thongs. My twenties self would be appalled at my sensible cotton pants! I know diflucan isn't supposed to be good if you're ttc, but it blew my thrush away. I wonder if there's an alternative?

Now, the thought of other people's 'bump shoots' makes me feel icky. But I would like my dh to take a nice photo of mine. I'd never show it to anyone though. When I started this whole malarkey, I thought I'd just get pregnant and had had a good look at maternity clothes etc. I don't think like that at all now. Maybe I should.

Has anyone here had hypnosis? I wondered if it might help with anxiety. And has anyone had a lap and dye?

Joycep sorry to hear about your irritating problem. It must be driving you crazy. I only ever get it when on the Pill (I think it upsets my natural balance) so I have only had it a cople of times many years ago, but I do remember it being completely miserable. (I also have just had a cringey flashback: once when I got it I was living in France so I looked up the word for thrush in the dictionary and trotted off to the chemist. Unfortunately the word meant nothing to the pharmacist so I was left trying to explain that I had fungus/mushrooms [the french use the same word for both] between my legs. Whilst a bunch of bemused French pensioners waiting for their prescriptions looked on. The pharmacist had no clue what I was talking about, despite me explaining that it's very common and most women get it at some time or other and told me to go to the dr. Sigh. I think I ended up self-treating with yoghurt.)

wine that sounds like a very pleasant afternoon. I am stuck in the office, editing a chapter I wrote for a textbook for the nth time. I am so sick of this piece now. I never want to see it again once I hit send later!

Yes, I am currently in the unexplained box. Bloods showed no indication of PCOS (although I was diagnosed with it as a teenager), ultrasound and HSG all fine. Hubby's first SA was a little low on morphology (12% against a normal on the test sheet on 15% but the gynae explained but they now consider anything about 3% fine) and very low on volume (0.6ml against a normal range of 2-5). So he is doing a repeat one this week, and then we have a follow up with the gynae in about a month to see what he proposes following all the tests.

This thread is a little quiet. I hope everyone is ok and the quietness is because we're all managing to forget about ttc.

I feel much happier now AF has gone. It's interesting (to me anyway!) how much my moods are affected by hormones and are related to my cycle. I've noticed that I always feel at my lowest a couple of days before AF and then by CD 2 I feel much brighter about everything. I suppose it helps explain why DH never seems to get as upset about it all as I do because he doesn't have the changing hormones.

karbea my LP varies a bit too, it is nearly always 15 days but I have had a couple of 12 days and one 16 day. So I'm not sure I believe that LP is always the same length, I think this might be another fertility myth.

wine Your Dr sounds reassuring. It's funny how comforting it is to hear someone say that "you will get pregnant*. My big fear is that it will never happen but there are so few people nowadays who will never have a child so I hope that I'm not one of them.

euro symptom spotting is awful. Every month I promise myself I won't do it, but I always do. TBH I've never actually had any decent symptoms, I think I imagine most of them.

joycep I think it's a good idea you see your GP about the thrush. It needs sorting out, I've heard that having a bath with bicarb in the water can sometimes help. And of course live yoghurt. I really hope the deflated boobs mean nothing. How do you take the progesterone? Is it a pessary? Could that be causing the thrush?

I heard today that my second cousin is pregnant with her 5th child . I'm not bothered about this because I never see her and I'm only in contact through another cousin. But it does make me wonder how some people can be so fertile, her eldest is only 9 and she's 39 so there hasn't been much of a gap between the pregnancies. I would never want 5 children but I have been worrying that even if I manage to have one child it will be an only child and I had always thought that I would have at least 2. I know I'm getting ahead of myself to think about this, but it's funny how everything I had planned when I was younger now seems to have been turned on it's head. I always thought I'd have my first baby by the time I was 30.

Hi,

Yes it is very quiet. I'm afraid I don't have much to say. I'm 11dpo today and just poas and had a glaringly white stick :( I was really hopeful this month but doesn't look like we have a shot. Fertility clinic appt is next week but I'm worried they won't help is cos I'm overweight...I think my bmi actually makes me obese :( I put on 4 stone after having my daughter because I became very ill and had to go on meds that 96% of people gain weight on. I started ww a couple of weeks ago and lost 5lbs but couldn't make class this weekend or next so I've kinda fallen of the wagon.

How are my other tww ladies?

Izzy don't give up hope yet, 11 dpo is still early for a BFP. Stick at it - I'm keeping everything crossed for you. You've had a pretty 'normal' cycle this time no?