Sixth Form Common Room part IV - ttc and pregnancy post mc

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Roll up, roll up...

This is the place to be if you are ttc post mc / pregnancy loss and need a little spot to call home.

tina I'm sorry AF is on its way, and that you're feeling so down

TINA so sorry you are feeling this way. I thik we all feel like that on CD1.I know when CD1 usually comes for me - I make myself book something nice for that month - a little treat like a maincure / pedicure - funds allowing. It's not much but it does make the pain slightly easier. xx

Tina rant away. It really is shit when AF turns up. However calm and you try to feel it is crushing. I would second collie's advice about having a bit of a break if you can even consider it.

Thanks everyone. I'm torn between giving up and focusing on dd (but I know that if I do that I won't really give up, I mean, it's not as if I can 'forget' my cycle and I wouldn't be using contraception), carrying on as we are, going back to the clinic and requesting a hycosy or trying acupuncture or something. I just felt like I gave it everything this month and for nothing

I feel very irrationally sad for the moment, I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days

tina it's not irrational at all to feel how you are, and with your dd looming it's an especially hard time so don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. Hearing things like 'it will happen one day', is really annoying I know, as noone acutually knows it will and it doesn't make the dissapointment easier, but it WILL happen for you. Fx it's soon! I hope you have something nice planned for tonight at least? And get a huge hug off you dd!!! Xx

Thanks collie. I just opened myself a bottle of magners and I've got donuts for later!

Huge congrats Lady!

Tina so sorry AF has got you and got you so down. I hope the Magners and donuts do the trick.

For my part, I'm worrying as much about being un-pg this month as I normally worry about being pg. I'm no-symptom-spotting like mad. Poke poke, are my boobs sore? Good, they're not. Poke, poke. Repeat for the next week or so. sigh

Hope you're feeling better today Tina

Am 6+5 today and this is when mc#2 started. I actually still don't feel particularly pregnant so am beginning to silently worry. Doing my best to remain calm and just let what will be be. 7+3 and 8+2 are the next milestones.

Right, got that off my chest. Am going to attempt to enjoy the bank holiday weekend now. Hope you've all got great plans!

Thanks digi. I'm feeling a bit better today, we've had a lovely morning walking through the woods and picking blackberries to make muffins later. I'm trying to focus on positive things really, we've got a lovely daughter and we live in a nice place. It just all feels a bit like there's something (or someone I suppose) missing. I hope that you are getting along ok today too.

Oh Tina I have said those exact words so many times, it's a horrible feeling. I did find that the due dates and other milestones (no. of months trying eg.) contribute so much to the emotional pressure on ourselves. I feel like I did finally reach a point fairly recently where I was contemplating our life as a one-child family with some sense of 'that wouldn't be what I wanted, but it would be just fine'. I feel quite sad that the due date of my third MC barely even registered...just realised it's in a week or so. There is someone missing, it's not silly to feel like that, and you'll carry that 'hole' in your soul forever, but the great thing about time passing is that it always brings with it little things that help to fill the hole. Not perfectly, there will always be gaps and you'll notice them from time to time but with time the gaps become smaller and you notice them less often.
Blackberrying sounds lovely - I planted out a load of strawberry plants as it's just coming to the start of spring here (how odd!) and am looking forward to seeing whether they give us a lovely crop.
In an attempt to stay chilled and in denial about this pg I've decided to not tell my two best friends who are both about 22-24 weeks pg themselves. They both conceived very shortly after my latest MC which was difficult for everyone. If this one fails, I think they'll feel awful, and I kind of want to just pretend everything is as normal as possible and don't want to answer 'how's it going' questions from them. Easier when you're on the other side of the world, as well. But it makes me miss them and feel further away from them as well.
I did take myself off for some blood tests yesterday, it was a struggle Not to ask for Thyroid, Full blood count, Vitamin D etc etc but I contented myself with HCG, Progesterone and a B12/Folate measure as I've had issues in the past with low levels. Will call GP tomorrow to make an appt to see him and will get a second HCG to see whether levels are rising ok. I think they are - have been POAS every morning and they are progressing in darkness. Haven't done a digital yet - actually, I wonder whether they have them here? Must do...I have seen one test called 'Pregnosis' which I quite liked.
I'm contemplating a namechange. Haven't done that since I joined MN but maybe a new name with help with a new positive attitude. Mind you, I thought a New Year would bring me luck and it didn't, so maybe that would just be tempting fate...
Any suggestions?

Hi ladies, I'm home

Lady I'm rubbish at names but thank you for the post above. I know it was for tina but you really make sense. Although the 3 of us have had a lovely, family weekend there was definitely a little someone missing and I did feel very sad during parts of our weekend where it seemed like we were the only one child/non pregnant family.

Anyway, I was right about thurs being CD1 making that an epic 52 day cycle. Hopefully this should be a shorter cycle.

Maybe this will be our month tina ?

xx

mouse, I could have written that post...we're having a lovely weekend but it's in the back of my mind all the time...and there are babies/pregnant ladies/big families everywhere! I always pictured myself with two or three children, and it feels so out of reach right now.

Thanks too ladybee, it must be hard not to tell your best friends your huge news x

Just to update, twins arrived 2 weeks ago at 33+4 and we're currently back in hospital after a probably too early discharge on day 5. twin 1 has lost interest in food & once he regains this hopefully we can go. Tina has been supporting me on another thread for which am v greatful .

To support in return here. The hardest months for me were around dd, the months when I saw an accupuncturist and he told me I was mentally blocking ttc so I started hoping again, each fertility investigation showing it should be happening and the hsg which I'd gone to grt efforts to schedule at right point of cycle . when I gave up it was a little easier although still very difficult when others told me their good news. And then I got mine........

Anyway I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still thinking of you all particularly those who were at the start of my ttc posting like bbb and my always remembered fellow twin mummy dachs. And everyone else too who I've shared experiences with along the way on this and other threads. Let me know if you'd prefer me not to post here as I know I don't fit in this category anymore .

any typos due to phone!

Hi tiggers, of course it's okay to post here! How's the feeding and expressing going? I've been thinking about acupuncture, I tried reflexology after the mc but it obviously didn't do the trick! Did you find it helpful? I probably won't bother this cycle though, we're on holiday until day 9 so I'm probably better off waiting for the next one.

Thanks for coming over here and updating us, how lovely of you to think of us when you are having a hard time yourself x

It's always lovely to hear from you Tigger, so I for one, would say you're always welcome here, (but I might not be best place to say that given my circumstances too). I also realise that once you're home for good you are going to have to your hands overflowing so posting may be a bit more challenging.

Sorry to hear you're back in hospital, I do hope he gets interested in food asap.

Ladybee I'm not so good on names either but how about something Kiwi related or is that too obvious?

Mouse that is a pretty epic cycle, we all hope this month will be yours and Tina's

Digital how are you doing? the first weeks are definately the hardest. Hope you are enjoying the weekend a bit more now.

We're having a fairly low key weekend which is lovely. I finally managed to do the weeding which I've been talking about for the last month.

Waves to all x

Congratulations on the twins tigger I really hope the stay in hospital is as short as possible for you all. You are more than welcome to post here (it's not that long ago that we were all confessing our secret desire for multiples ) It would be lovely to hear how you're all getting on xx

Is anyone else obsessed about the gap between dc1 and any future dc? My ds is 4 now and I just can't get my head round it. I know there's nothing I can do but does anyone else worry about the gap? What if the don't like each other?!

That's a worry of mine mouse, I see this ever widening gap and know that there's nothing I can do about it. I also see a little girl who would love a little brother or sister. I think her age is what bothers me most about me taking so long to get pregnant

It's so hard isn't it? My ds has been asking when there'll be a baby in my tummy for well over a year now. He'd be such a lovely brother

Still, there's nothing we can do about it. I don't get pg very easily. I have thought about stopping and staying as a family of 3 but I'm not ready for that yet. Time to reorder some opks and pg tests from amazon ready for my next chance!

I really hope it's our turn soon tina In the mean time I'm off for some

I'm having a glass (or two) as well! Cheers! (best thing about af, the )

tigger Always good to see you! Sorry T1 is having some trouble - I hope they are both strong enough to come home soon :)

mouse Sorry it wasn't your month - I have everything crossed for you and tina for the next cycle. In the mean time enjoy lots of and snacks that are bad for you! :)

Sorry I'm being a bit crap at posting at the moment but am v v tired most of the time and completely paranoid about stuff so I'm spending a lot of time trying to ignore the internet and pg stuff...

Thanks dachs am so hopeful for you, digi and lady x

Sorry you are feeling mouse and Tina I don't really know what to say since my experiences are very different to yours (I think) but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you both.

Thanks everyone. Tina expressing going a bit better as have just changed from colostrum mix to full milk. Still haven't found anyone to help with hand expressing . One of the nurses just suggested that dt1 might have tongue tie which would be an easier solution so need to get that checked.

Personally I didn't find accupuncture much use. It relaxed me for a few hours after.but that seemed to be the limit of its effect. I do know others it worked for. I did a hypnotherapy relaxation course which I thought was more beneficial.

Thanks for letting me continue to post here

mouse I got my bfp 17 days b4 ds' 4th bday. I was also concerned about the gap but figured that you can have sibling probs with any gap. Ds always asked if there was a baby in my tummy straight after af/rtd had arrived .

sorry to hear you are both having tough times at the moment. I know how demoralising it feels to be trying each month, so I am sending you lots of love and ((hugs)) and hope this month is the one for you.

tigger hope the twins are home again soon

Bee congratulations, Can't advise on the name, I'd be too damn superstitious

to everyone else and leaves some chocolate buns....

mouse and tina very sorry things didnt work out this month. I wish I could think of something nice to say to make you feel better, hope things start to look up for both of you very soon.

tigger lovely to hear the twins have arrived I also think you should keep posting here - how else will we know how you are getting on?

ladyB hope you keep the lady part of your name, it makes you sound very stately. How about LadyKiwi?

Izzy good to know all is well with you, enjoy the hols xxx

I have had a really exhausting day today, my best friends 2 year old boy ate a whole packet of paracetomol and I spent the day with her in hospital. We had to hold him down while he had his stomach pumped twice and liquid charcoal inserted via a tube in his nose several times, but thank god, he was finally given the OK to come home and blood tests show he is going to be fine. Very very distressing for him though, its so hard to watch little kids suffering like that! It was a childrens hospital so we were surrounded by crying sick babies too poor, poor mites.

chocolate bun is just what I need blackkat cheers!