Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Quick post scan update- all was ok and measuring as expected for my dates. Too small for the NT scan so have to go back again in a week. Although I'm not complaining about an extra scan.

Really pleased for you Stitch - I'll have an extra slice of pizza in celebration

Congratulations stitcH!

Yay for stitch

yay congrats stitch

Congratulations stitch

Fantastic news stitch, made up for you x

Fab news Stitch!

Evening ladies. Wondering if I may join you? ... quick back story... I had a miscarriage back in march and am now pregnant again, no idea how far along as there was no period in between. Despite the fact that my midwife never even examined me when I saw her, she has decided that I'm about 11 weeks and has just made up dates of a last period to go in my pregnancy notes. I wasn't aware midwives were so talented these days that they know just by looking at you! needless to say I'm not overly happy with her. I seriously hope she is wrong as I'm huge already, and the thought of twins is really scaring me! I just really hope I'm carrying lots of water or something. I have a scan on Monday afternoon so I guess I'll find out soon!... Anyway just wanted to say hi, and I hope yet don't mind me bashing in. Xx

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Hi Angela.

Congratulations on your bfp - these early days are so nerve wracking aren't they? Good news that you have your scan on Monday though - good luck

Total freak out this morning. I've seen a few spots of blood on the loo roll. I am totally beside myself. Bleeding means the end. Other people can bleed in pregnancy and it's ok, but not me. I know there are a million empty platitudes that can be said, but only time will tell what will happen next.

I've had a good old cry this morning, knowing that the worst could be coming. DH can't understand me at the moment. He said I should act as if I'm not pregnant (other than food and drink) because of past problems. I told him that I never wanted to make the midwife appts or scans and think about the future.

I hate the thought of going to my local EPU, but if I see more bleeding today, I will try and go tomorrow to see what is happening as I don't know if I can wait until Wednesday.

I can't go through this heartbreak again.

LAF I'm so sorry to hear that . I know that we could all say so many things to hope it will be ok, but we all know the potential heartbreak and it's impossible to ignore.

It might be worth calling your EPU tomorrow whether or not you see any more blood as it will be a long wait until Wednesday otherwise.

I know you know that it is possible to bleed with no implications but I do so feel for you going through this stress .

I do hope that you are getting lots of rl hugs and support. I think it easier said than done to carry on 'as if we weren't pregnant' - easier for our menfolk to do that when they aren't forced to think of it every time they go to the toilet and check for blood and every time they have a twinge or indeed anything happen to their bodies. But I think our menfolk often deal with this by trying not to get too attached. They also often think they have to 'solve' the problem which is obv not poss (I am possibly making huge generalisations based on my DH - apologies if not accurate).

We're all here for you if you need us. Do take care and rest up today if you can x

Just a thought LAF and sorry that this is a tmi question, but is there any chance it was blood from your 'back passage' (as my Nan used to say...).

I know you have probably considered already but just a thought x

I don't think so biscuits there hasn't been anymore since this morning. It was a minuscule amount, but any amount is bad to me. I have heard that aspirin can cause bleeding, so it could be innocuous. But I'm scared. Its too late as I already love this baby and can't bear the thought of losing him before knowing him. I don't want him to join his siblings.

I despise my local EPU and would only expect bad news to come from that room.

I have to always be prepared for the worst whilst praying for the best.

I see where you're coming from LAF. Is it worth phoning the place you're going for a scan on Wednesday to see if they can fit you in tomorrow instead?

I hated our epu too so understand what you mean. They were nice and everything but such horrible memories

Hello LAF I feel so awful for you as you sound understandably very, very low about it. I wish there was something we could do but I know that there isn't anything anyone can do really. I would say, and I know you think this doesn't apply to you as you have mentioned it already (and as Biscuits says) but we all know there are indeed plenty of women who get spotting and even full on bleeding and they go on to be fine. I KNOW you think that doesn't apply to you, from your past history, but you just never, never, never know.

Actually today I have had some brown stuff too. I think in the light of my small sac/not growing situation this is my body starting to do what it knows it needs to do. I found out when I went to the loo in a museum earlier! Shed a bit of a tear when I told DH and the folks but other than that am ok. I think for the last week I have been doing what your DH suggested LAF and living like I am not pregnant (apart from food and drink as you say). It has helped me detach a little bit I guess.

Just a bit of dark discharge at the mo but am feeling slightly dizzy so I know it might be on its way. If it gets worse I will go to A&E in the local tomorrow (I live in a different town on weekends) - make a change from going back to that hospital in London - my dreaded EPU. Sounds like we have the same feelings/experiences about that too LAF. Also this time I really think I want an ERPC so I hope it doesn't all happen too quickly for that. I would also like to see if I can get the products 'tested'.

Sorry if I am sounding a bit too detached, I just don't know how else to deal with it. Next time hopefully will be my lucky time. LAF I REALLY hope this one works out for you. I hate that you are feeling so low. I mean I am low too, when I think about it, it's just I have had a couple of inconclusive scans to point me in this direction so I have had more time to get used to it. Hooefully yours will all be fine. Not sure what to suggest about when to go to EPU/scan. It's all pretty crap really.

Angela welcome to the thread. It can be a bit up and down on here! We have had a couple of recent miscarriages from thread members and that can be upsetting and we have also had other people's scans go really which, which is amazing after they have had miscarriages but it also makes you feel a bit sad when yours isn't going right. That said, it is great to know there is someone to talk to and someone who can relate and one thing's for sure, we can all do that here.

Oh freelance I'm sorry that things are looking bad for you. I totally get what you mean about ERPC as I had the same thoughts this morning. The thought of testing is beneficial.

If you are feeling dizzy, that's not good and you should definitely get checked out cos you don't want your blood pressure to crash.

Thinking of you...

Oh LAF and freelance, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know what to say :(. I really really hope that this isn't happening to either of you again and that scans show something positive.....You're both in my thoughts xx

LAF, sorry if this is too personal, but is there any chance you had sex before you saw the blood?

Thanks Milky and Laf! It's a bloody roller coaster this isn't it. I didn't have sex this weekend - parents are here and DH has been away! But we have to remember that my scans have been small and inconclusive. Laf I am hoping that your good scan will mean something at least.

Am taking a break from the evening's obsessive googling: 'when to try again after miscarriage' and going round the shop to get myself some comfort food.

Am also writing a list of things to do if not pregnant - they include friends I have been avoiding (go out and drink myself silly with them and prove I am not pregnant or avoiding them, of which I have actually been both), go for a wine tasting, have a cocktail night, go out dancing and book a holiday. Got to have things to look forward to. I am also thinking of trying again straight away this time, something I haven't done before. Why not have a go?

Obviously the pregnancy hasn't been totally ruled out until a scan this week but I am pretty sure it is, and got to have things to look forward too! Hope you can feel a bit brighter Laf and that I am NOT meeting you for cocktails next week. But IF we have to, lets go neck a few....

How are you Free? Hope there hasn't been any more discharge. Try to rest up as much as you can and get yourself along to the A&E tomorrow to get yourself checked out.

And you too LAF.

It goes without saying that I hope that the outcome is good for both of you but naturally we all understand how stressful it is at this time. Hope you are both getting lots of real life support. Do you both have someone to look after you tomorrow?

Thinking of you both. xx

There was a little excitement Thursday night milky but to have blood on Sunday AM seems a bit outside the window.

I can't go to St. Marys tomorrow biscuits because they aren't running an RMC clinic then. I could get a scan, but I wouldn't be able to talk to the people who can answer my questions.

I have quite a bit of practice with wait and see. I can hang onto Wednesday if there isn't any bleeding in the morning. It's awful because I dread going to the loo, wondering what I'm going to find.

I may take you up on the drink depending on Wednesday freelance it is hard going somewhere when there aren't happy memories like our EPUs. It almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Oh for the lost innocence of finding out I was pregnant for the first time!

freelance the things you have said make so much sense. With me, I felt like I was always planning a baby, and planning my life in preparation for a baby. We didn't go on holiday for about 2 years thinking that we needed to save up. This time I just let myself go, and we conceived whilst on holiday. I think my DH and me have actually gone out of our way to have a little bit of fun since our last mc, because it felt like we'd been in a nightmare since October 2009. I really do hope you do all the things you have mentioned above - this comment that you've made: "Got to have things to look forward to" is SO, SO important that I can't even explain in words. MC's leave you with nothing to look forward to in life, but if you make small goals each week or month it keeps your mind occupied with other things for a little while.

Definitely step away from Google - play a game of isketch instead! It's more addictive and fun!

LAF, really hoping there's no more bleeding, and it's just one of those things that are unexplained. x