Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

Morning all :) Good luck with lunch ciwi - the cupcakes sound gorgeous - you're making me hungry!

Talking of memory boxes - has anyone got any ideas about where I can get a nice one? I haven't found one that I like yet and I really feel like I'm letting Alexander and Felicia down by not having a proper one - I have accumulated stuff for the box I just can't find anything I like. I just want a plain polished wooden box that I can put a little engraved plaque on, but all I can find on the internet are painted boxes that I don't particularly like. I don't think I'll have any kind of closure until I've got a proper memory box. It needs to be big enough for some A4 documents and some small teddy bears (and a few other things, but they aren't particularly big).

Dachs I got a nice one from www.alexandrasangelgifts.co.uk they do different sizes and styles. I am really happy with the one I got for Ophelia. It is beautiful.

we got the white one with her footprints on the top and her name. Its the medium sized one and it s big enough for her birth certifcate.

I was given a memory box in the hospital - it's a white chest with a curved lid and two little drawers in it. It's got Thea's babygro, a tiny lock of hair, a memory blanket and some of the hand and foot print cards in it. I also have an envelope with photos, birth certificate, a blessing card done by the hospital chaplain etc in it. I'm glad I changed her babygro on the second day - she had got the first one a little bit dirty because we hadn't quite bathed her well enough, so I changed it and we have kept the first one, dirt and all. I think the idea behind the memory blanket is to wrap her in it, but she had a blanket knitted by my grandma instead, which was much thicker and cosier.

we got one from the hospital too but it was far to small for everything. It was a sweet little box though with two teddys on the front, it was very well made. But the box we have now is beautiful made of wood and we have an inscription on hte inside of the lid saying 'the little one we longed so quickly here then gone' its a line from the poem we had read at the funeral.

I've got this Memory Box from Winston's Wish. I like it because of all the stars on it. It is quite big and it has my A4 size folder from the hospital in it. It also has the books I bought for DD and pictures and everything that had to do with this pregnancy. I will take it to the church for the funeral so people can put a paper star with a prayer on in it.

DH and I are 7 years together today, he has to work though this afternoon and evening, so I'll have to keep DD busy. Will probably watch The Apprentice tonight as well, Helen to win here too!

Oh Helen to win too. Can t stand " whingy" Susan . We ve still got Georgie' s cardboard box from the hospital but now you ve all got me thinking mmm .... Off to the Internet I go searching!!!! Xx

angel me too, I want a nice wooden memory box now. I have been hugely getting ahead of myself but if this bean sticks I think I would like a lovely box to put in the nursery, could make a feature out of it and it would be like they were sharing rooms.
I can't stand susan either she is like a little kid. Did think it was funny when she drove around knightsbridge trying to sell £10 duvet sets though. Everyone is team Helen then!

ok TMI alert...
I have some dark brown discharge... it is almost a month since I gave birth to Sterre. I think I have ovulated about a week ago, but not entirely sure. Normally my AF's start with bright red blood spotting, and that's not the case. It's probably wishful thinking isn't it? I just so hope my AF comes quickly!

Well im out again this month, I had some pinkness when wiping AF is round the corner.

Oh no, Jane, poor you! I suppose it couldn't be implantation bleeding? Still, next month will be your month!

Afternoon all,
It's heartbreaking isn't it, all the talk and decisions over ashes, memory boxes etc. None of us should be faced with any of it.

green I hope spreading Ophelia's ashes has given you a sense of peace and completeness amongst the heartache, if that makes any sense at all? You are very brave for having done it, and sharing your lovely daughter with the world around.

Happy anniversary blue, hope you have a special day.

too your hospital sound like a nightmare to deal with, I'm so glad you've got your mum to tackle them. Let us know how she gets on on Monday.

Calmed down a bit here now after the events of last week. I've been exhausted. I'm getting to the point where I want her out now, she's big enough and old enough to be ok, but I worry about her being inside so much. Up to 7 more weeks to go. Here's hoping.

Cracked and tested. BFN. Am pretty sure it was just too early even with a First Response test. Not giving up just yet! Right, I only have one test left and I will leave it until Friday and not before!

BFNs are so crappy aren't they? It would be easier if they actually definitely meant you aren't pregnant, but actually they tell you you could be pregnant but it's not yet detectable or you aren't pregnant, and leave the question torturing you for a frew more days... big hugs too x

too fingers crossed it was too early, sounds like it is x
jane sorry about the possible af, do you think it definately is? If so fx for you next month x
hmmm, not sure blue I have had brown stuff mid cycle before and it has been related to ov maybe swi just in case? Otherwise your body can do weird things after you give birth, it could just be your hormones settling down x
I am trying to chill and watch TV but the dog is snoring loudly next to me on the couch. she is too cute to disturb her though. Only an hour till apprentice, can't believe its on till 11! Well past my bedtime.

Aaargh, MN ate my post!

I'm on CD30 and hoped it would be okay, but clearly not. I shall test again on Friday as it's CD35 and my cycles are usually 35-37 days, I think. I still have no idea when/if I ovulated, so if this is not my month then I'm going to buy some sort of OPK.

Spilt, are you on mat leave yet? Try to get heaps of rest while you can!

Also waiting for Apprentice final!

ciwi im on cd 25, af due on wed. I defo think it is AF, i have all the usual symptoms

too i have everything crossed for you! x

Yes I've been on mat leave for the last 2 weeks, and annual leave for the 3 weeks before that so I have pretty much forgotten my workplace exists!

Spilt I've been off since 19th March with the last few weeks being annual leave. Going back on 30th and absolutely dreading it, especially since I'm going to be telling them that I'm not going to be working shifts with this baby. Wonder how long I should wait before breaking that to them???

Aargh, flat tyre! Second flat tyre of the weekend! Hence have already used spare tyre and will therefore have to wait until garage opens before can go anywhere and will miss 9am counselling session. Grr! God knows what DH ran over on Saturday, but he had a flat tyre then (front right wheel) and now the back left tyre is flat too. Have pumped it up but don't relish idea of getting halfway into Edinburgh and it going flat again - or worse, coming out of the counsellor's to find it totally flat when DH isn't around to help.

Spilt, I love the feeling that work doesn't exist! Remember it well...

Mel, when will you have to stop working shifts? Will they be okay about accomodating you? Good luck whenever you tell them, anyway!

Too just planning on not working any shifts after 6pm or before 8 am ( if that makes sense). I'm hoping that they're ok about it as failing them being understanding I think my doctor will be giving me a line so it'd be better for them! My last memory of being pregnant was sitting with my feet raised above my head waiting on the nightshift to finish, with huge swollen feet and ankles. I'm not prepared to put me or my baby through the shifts this time. I plan on being very selfish for the next 7 months. Shame about your tyre and missing the session. Hope you don't have to wait too long to get it fixed x

tooimm did you get the tyre fixed? Did you get to your meeting? I hope you have tested to early and you get your BFP.

Melmal you take care, check out your rights, I think they have to accomodate you or give you paid leave if they cant. If you think its a risk to you and the baby. Remember too that they are supposed to provide you with a rest room while pg.

CD20 feel weird really, a bit tired a bit spaced out, but trying not to get my hopes up. I felt the affects of pg last time very early. I only have what 11-13 days to wait now till I can test.

Just watched Marley and me, bought it home a bit when they found no heart beat.

green FX that the tired and spaced out feeling will lead to a BFP. Also have FX for you too. Did you make the meeting?

mel I hope work are accommodating.

Can any of you guys help? I'm trying to find the answers to a work quiz as there is a summer party I won't be going to but my department has forwarded me a quiz where there will be a prize presented at the party. One of the sections is about corporate logos and I can identify most of them but one of them has me stumped. It's a black and white spiral in a square shape and I don't recognise it at all, so if any of you had any ideas...

Hi all, typed a long reply before and then mumsnet went offline - so annoying
green I really hope its a sign for you, its so hard not to notice every little thing isnt it?
too any symptom spotting for you yet? Hope your car got sorted
dachs sorry, I havent a clue (I am not the best at quizzes anyway though)
mel did you find that working shifts caused problems last time? I am starting shifts again soon, will have to tell work if they make me feel ill.
Well I have an appointment with the consultant on Wednesday so I feel better now as he can advise properly on my thyroid levels. His secretary was lovely and sorted everything out for me. Its amazing how things just get done when you speak to the right people. Hope everyone else is ok, cheese how are you?

dachs I shall have a look on the net for you.