so here it is, a new home for us newly updiffed ladies or still seeking that golden egg after a mc part 3

[mrsb33]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1170413-Coffee-lounge-and-bar-for-MI5-interviewees-little-friends-and-other-CM-studiers-post-MC-Part-II

ladies here it is our new home, ive tried my best, im not very good at the witty banter so hopefully this will do, get yourself comfortable it could be a bumpy ride with me at the helm!!!

ok, I'm back, will attempt my long post again

wombat I appreciate this is a bit too late but I think you are doing an amazing job adapting, really inspirational. I agree with what the other lovely ladies have said in that it is a big adjustment and many people are not that honest with the reality of the situation. I think it is partly because it is such a long journey from trying to get pg, worrying all through the pg, the birth and then when you finally have the baby you've been longing for it's hard to admit that there are times when it's v difficult or downright boring. I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better and I really do appreicate you sharing all this with us because it's kind of nice to know that you are up there ahead leading the way and gaining useful knowledge and experience for those of us coming up behind.

worm I saw your FB post, I'm sure it's a difficult day for you today so sending you lots of support and hugs.....hope that Megan is giving you something positive to focus on and provide actual cuddles. Also thank you for the b/f info.....you are doing so well too. Is it getting any easier? I am very concerned about my ability to cope with this. As I said before I am a monster without sleep so really cannot imagine a sleep deprived me trying to deal with a demanding baby and sore nipples.....

kool 3rd trimester, congrats! How did the appt go? Time will really fly by now.

Work has been crazy busy this week, not the kind of last week I had planned at all. But only a day and a half to go. I am feeling quite tired but it's managable but i am looking forward to all the lunches and waterbirth workshop etc that I have planned for next week. Def don't want her coming early.....People keep telling me I'l be early, why do random strangers all think it's fine to have an opinion? Tube has been particularly bad this week, didn't get offered a seat and had to ask......what is it with these people?

sparkly how are you? How's you week of pj wearing and snuggles going?

Not sure where everyone is so I'll just leave these rocky road mini bites from M and S to see if that tempts anyone out.

M&S rocky road bites you say yellow? I'm there with bells on!

Thanks so much for your v kind and reassuring words - it's wonderful that I can let it all out with you all and not feel judged. I think the other thing that has surprised me is my up and down-ness - people used to comment on how consistent (perhaps boring?!) I was with my emotions, but that is sooooo not the case now - hormones too I expect.....

Anyway, a day and a half left! How exciting! YOu must tell us how it feels next week - I kept thinking that I was just on leave for a few days and would be going back to work....

Thinking of you today worm - hope that Megs is giving you some comforting cuddles.

Did anyone watch that "how to be a good mother"? - there's been quite a lot of discussion about it here on mn - I miss English tv!

Sooo I'm now on mat leave, what a weird feeling. I feel a bit kind of jittery. I guess it's brought the whole having a baby thing into focus. So much to do, so little time. I've got the raspberry leaf tea but not drunk any yet. Perennial massage not attempted either. Bag not packed etc etc

How is everyone else? Would you like this fresh fruit salad or bacon sarnie?

Just a quickie as on phone . Yellow as long as you have boobs, a comfy place to feed, nipple cream and someone to bring you tea and food you don't need anything else! Oh and lanisoh. Enjoy your maternity leave. :)

Wombat I did wstch that programme and if you can get hold of it its a really intersting watch!
Hope the hormones are being kinder today.

How did you get on through Thursday worm ? Hope you didn't feel too left out and things went as well as they can.

It is a strange feeling yellow - hope the jitters calm down- I'm sure once you've got a couple of lunches tucked under your belt, you'll feel a whole lot more normal

How's the babymoon gone sparkly? Hope you're feeling ok about DH being back at work tomorrow.

And kool - we still need to know how your appt went... hope all is well.

Not much to report from here other than I cannot wait til JAck sleeps through more of the night - he was wide awake from 2-4am this morning, having only slept for 2 and 1.5 hours prior to that and 1 hour afte that.... I know this isn't as bad as some babies, but I would just love a chunk of 5 solid hours - not that much to ask is it?! People say they turn a corner at 6 weeks and then when you get to 6 weeks, everyone says it's 3 months! However, I will grant them that 6 weeks does seem to be the b/feeding breakthrough - I feel as if I could do it anywhere in any position now - and that's just the breastfeeding - fnagh, fnagh

Hello all

wombat I don't have any advice but it must be hard. Is he awake cos he is hungry or is he just bored or not tired? I don't think 5 hours sleep is much to ask at all, it's certainly what I'll want!

We've been rearranging furniture all day and have put the cot up. I can't believe it really, still seems like make believe. We've really not got enough space so I have to spend some time sorting things out and throwing them away. Probably my least favorite thing to do. I had a lovely nap today whilst DP put the cot up, that's the kind of teamwork I like!

Water birth workshop tomorrow, quite excited!

Hope everyone is ok, how about chocolate mini rolls, lovely!

Loving your teamwork yellow! How are you sleeping these nights? Hopefully still packing in the zeds. Re: feeling surreal - I still feel like that sometimes when I look at Jack and think am I actually a mother? I think part of me thinks I'm still 18, not 38 and not old enough .

I don't think Jack's bored at night (they say babies don't get bored as there is so much for them to take in without even the stimulation of toys) just not sleepy.... needs to look at his mother a bit more and take some hints!

Chocolate mini rolls snaffled - thanks!

Morning wombat I haven't liked to mention sleeping on here in case it is sen as a bit insensitive but as you ask I'm still on about 9 hours a night with a 2 hour nap at the weekend that I am now hoping to extend to week days too! how am I ever going to cope with the sleep depravation?

Am v excited not to be going to work anymore, have lots of lists of things to do so need at least 2 weeks to get through it. DP is v jealous I am not going to work anymore but someone has to bring home the bacon (choc mini rolls etc) It was so weird sleeping next to the cot last night, I know it's common to stare for hours at a new born baby but is it also normal to stare at an empty cot?

I'm gonna get stuck into the raspberry leaf tea today, had one cup yesterday, may go crazy and have 2 today.

I didn't see how to be a good mother, is it worth searching out?

How is everyone doing? I've just had toasted fruit loaf with butter for breakfast and I'm willing to share if you come and update me!

Morning Girls

yellow try not to stress too much about the whole sleep thing. You will cope! I have so far only had one sleep deprivation induced melt down and that was on day 3 to coincide with a hormone rush. I can't believe I am not a complete zombie. When I add up what I have per night it works out about 7 hours. Only 3 and a half of that in one spell. But I feel fine! and when she gives me those wide eyed grateful full tummy looks it makes it all worth it.

back in a mo Megs waking..............

Morning all, it's busy in here today. Yes, toasted fruit loaf sounds like just the thing, thank you!

yellow congrats on your mat leave, I can imagine it's all feeling a bit surreal right now! I think that staring at a cot sounds perfectly normal btw! How to be a good mother made for interesting viewing. Not a must see in terms of how to be a perfect mother (!) as it was full of extreme variations of parenting - picture a mum with 6 kids and one on the way who home schools and had the body of a supermodel, a mum who makes things out of placentas, and a mum who has never put her baby in a nappy and you get the picture!!

worm I loved your advice on as long as you have boobs, a comfy place etc etc - I keep reading threads about bfing and sometimes I feel more bamboozled than ever. I keep reading recommendations for a book called something like The food of love so I might get that and stop reading anything and everything. I think I need to move away from geeky school days - I guess this isn't something I can revise for!!

wombat I'm so glad the 6 week bfing thing was true for you. I so, so want to get that far. I'm quite stubborn which I hope helps! I hope you start getting better sleep soon. Is Jack asleep lots during the day? My dsis has a 4 week old who favoured being awake 1-5am but she slept all day which might have been why. So now my dsis is feeding her then trying to keep her awake for longer stretches during the day and it's helping a lot. She still obviously wakes in the night for a feed but doesn't stay awake for as long. It doesn't work every night but she's definietly seen a difference.

My ante natal was fine, bump measuring as it should, heartbeat fine. I've scheduled all of my remaining appointments up to my due date now, which made it all seem quite close. I'm seeing the same midwife all the way now which I'm happy about.

Hope you all have a happy Monday

Hi ladies (again) great news about the continuity of midwife kool that is great, and that all apps organised.

I have no advise on the getting jack to sleep at a more sociable time. My dd was a terrible sleeper but if its any consolation she was a breeze as a toddler, ds on the other hand was a good sleeper yet king of the tantrums later on . On phone so sending in bits .....

We are on day 12 and looking forward to our first visitor free day tomorrow. I don't like to sound ungrateful or anything its just every time I think I could cram a nap in, someone turns up.
Dh who is a real real real dear, visa back to work on Thursday, think we will cope ok. He is so great. So far in the last 2 weeks he has held my sick bowl, driven himself there and back twice a day to hospital an hour each way , dealt with my tired meltdowns, done every bit of housework, all the cooking, fetched my medication, smelt my wound! As well as look after the older dcs. Love him greatly.

We are doing fine, latch issues are on the way to being under control, I've had to give one boob a rest and just express from it as it was very sore. Feeling better now, but just can't quite perfect our technique on that side.

My cs wound is infected and I'm now on second lot of anti biotics which I agonised over taking, but Dr Google said it was ok.......

Waves to sparkly if you are lurking.

Really quick one for worm - so sorry to hear your cs wound is infected. I'd strongly suggest taking some acidophillus lactobacillus supplement (from holland and Barrett or any health food shop) as more antibiotics might lead to thrush which is prob about the last thing you need right now. It's just a friendly bacteria type supplement but lots stronger than the type you'd find in a Yakult type drink. xxx

Thanks kool, is that as well as the anti biotics or instead of ?

It's as we'll as - the acidophilus is basically a probiotic supplement, so the anti biotics work on the infection but also get rid of your 'good' bacteria (which can lead to thrush) and the acidophilus puts it back. I'm not medically qualified tho! But I had to have a hefty dose of anti biotics last year after the removal of an ovarian cyst, so took it then and didn't have any problems

Well, not we'll

Oh, sorry about your infection Worm, the last thing you want as you try to recover. Not just for the discomfort, but as someone who has become paranoid about her own personal odours, I really feel for you! I'm still bleeding slightly and that with the stitches is leading to an unpleasant odour, quite a lot better since I ditched the sanitary towels. It's hard enough to feel clean and fresh without that going on - Yellow, take note, no-one tells you that your nether regions will occasionally smell of cheese! Tea tree and lavender baths help the healing, as well as arnica, but with dh now back to work that's easier said than done! Hope the antibiotics work soon.
Wombat, great reading your updates as you are about three weeks ahead of me so are a constant light at the end of the tunnel!
Gabe approaches his 4 week birthday on Friday, and this week we seem to have a slight pattern emerging with more distinct waking, alert, feeding and sleeping time. He seems to still be feeding for hours on and off, no doubt he is getting enough milk (he has cute chubby wrists now!), but he likes to graze, I am a tapas menu of milky delight! He'll nap about 11.30am for an hour or so if fed enough, and again around 3pm for a couple of hours, both much more successful if I am cuddled up with him, otherwise it's a rigmarole of waiting until he is in the deepest sleep before tricking easing him into the moses basket. He tends to be most alert from 7pm onwards, and feeds every two hours or so through the night, for a good hour on and off, and is snuffly and fractious. We have now put the heating on between 1am-3am which made a huge difference last night, not nearly so snuffly and much nicer for me doing the 2am nappy change.
Tried expressing for the first time this morning, completely fraught as the lead wasn't long enough so I was hanging off the bed with Gabes on one pendulous boob, and this monstrous, noisy sucking machine on the other nipple - at all points one of them would de-latch, causing cursing from me and giggling from dh who was helpfully tucking into his Shreddies observing this indignity. The overworking of the bosoms also set me off bleeding properly again so then had to change the sheets, I practically threw Gabes to dh is a rugby-ball stylee and went off for a quick sob. As with all things, it will get easier I'm sure, managed 2.5oz and think he needs about 4oz per feed, but will do for an amuse bouche until I've the hang of it properly. Not actually sure when we will use the bottle, there is no defined 10pm feed but it will hopefully be when dh is looking after him in the late evening and I can take myself off for a bath or catnap.
Oooh, Gabes has fallen asleep again, yay! Must go and unload the washing machine. Baby producing quite a lot of washing, I'll have him changed and then discover a random wet patch or something and have to redo him.
Enough unstructured waffle....ooh, Yellow, for us first-timers can really recommend a book called 'Your baby week by week', it's excellent to confirm that where you are, what you are doing, and how you are feeling is pretty much spot on, and also is good for previewing the following week and giving you an idea of what to expect ("Week 2, what's happening to Mum - "By now you will probably have wet yourself!" for instance ) Both dh and myself really like it and it's not too much to take in, nor preachy about routines, dummy use etc.
Right, let's get this house tidy! Cuppa and some Thorntons mini caramel pieces for anyone willing to whisk the hoover round!
Gack, he is awakening.......

He he - you do make me chuckle sparkly - your description of expressing and feeding at the same time really set me off! Hope you don't mind me giggling at your misfortune but you are a v funny writer . If it helps, I didn't really start expressing until about 5 weeks although they say to wait til about 6 weeks when your milk is "established". I do it once I have finished feeding Jack and didn't get much to start with but once my body adjusted to producing a bit extra each day it was fine. We;ve now got a nice stash in the freezer so I haven't done it for a couple of days. I'm impressed you tried to do both at the same time. The one time DH tried to feed him at night with a bottle my boobage got so full and uncomfortable that it kept me awake so kind of defeated the purpose. It's been fab though when I went off for a manipedi and haircut and enjoyed a wonderful couple of hours pampering! We are also off to a "do" this Friday and leaving expressed milk with a trusted babysitter and taking the pump with us - should be interesting! Anyway, enough of me, v glad to hear that Gabes is doing so well - I love those chubby wrists!

I'm totally with you on the visitor front worm - it;s soooo hard to be social when all you want to do is sleep. Hope you made the most of it. Your DH sounds absolutely amazing - can you buy DHs like that?! Sorry to hear about the infection and I can second kool's recommendation for the AL supplement - it definitely stopped a bout of thrush for me when i was last on anti-b's (which you may be more susceptible to due to general tiredness)

How was the w/birth workshop yellow? Can you definitely do it at your hosp if you liked it? I think staring at empty cot is v normal - I spent quite a bit of time in the nursery feeling a bit bewildered. As worm says re: the sleep thing, you do just get on with it - never thought I'd say that. How have your lunches been? Mat leave is ace!

Great to hear that all went well at your appt kool and great to have the continuity of the same midwife too. You're sounding relaxed and it's lovely to have you posting more on here (no pressure to keep doing so, but it's v nice to hear from you).

Really don't want to jinx things, but the last 2 nights with young Jack have def been better - he's been awake 3 times, but only for about 20-30 mins each time just for a feed and a burp - let's see if it will carry on. The good thing is that we've not had a screamathon for the last week since we started bathing him earlier and keeping him away from the TV / bright lights etc. - I think he was just overstimulated and overtired. Let's see if it carries on!

Leaves delish carrot cake that seemed to make its way into my trolley today! xx

I love reading your posts sparkly, you really should think about doing short stories or something. Or even long ones !

I was thinking this morning if it would be possible to express at the same time as feeding mine is a manual pump though not sure I could juggle it. I only get 2 oz at the moment is that normal ? That's from one side.

It's our first day on our own tomorrow. I'm hoping the weather will be dry so we can go out and have a nice walk. I am 2 stone up on pre pregnancy and would like it gone by summer, as I like my summer wardrobe!

Dh has been laughing at me today as I've been trying to establish if we have any pattern going on yet. I have a book and everything!

My infection appears to be getting clearing. It's not ponging as much but there is a bit of a hole though where a stitch has slipped. Apparently its all because of my overhanging skin not allowing the wound to dry out. Thanks for that !

I'll leave you with some red velvet cake. It is truely orgasmic..... Speaking of those, has anyone ventured into sexy time yet? ;)

Well worm and sparkly - you could try this link on hands free pumping and let us know if it works! 2oz from one side is pretty good I think - I can get 5 from both but I think it's only happened on a couple of ocassions. Good news that your infection is clearing. How did your first solo day go?

LEft a bottle with a friend this morning and went off to aquayoga and I feel absolutely amaaaaazing now! I hadn't realised quite how in knots I was and it really is wonderful to focus your mind on something completely different. I feel like a new woman! Probably helped by Jack having another good night (again, don't want to speak too soon!)

Re: sexy time, we attempted it a couple of weeks ago but it felt quite uncomfortable "inside" so to speak - apparently this is quite normal - for some reason I had it in my head that as I'd had a c section, the nether regions would be good as gold. Apparently not. Given my new energetic state, I'm hoping we can have a 2nd attempt tomorrow! Apparently vitamin e oil is supposed to be help - I'll report back.... worm - I assume you are back to chandelier swining already!

Big hellos to the still up-duffed! xx

hello ladies

Phew what a busy week, I can't believe I ever had time to go to work. I'm flat out just with lunches and afternoon naps! Had a cold start on Monday which made me v cross but it seems to on it's way out now so that's a good thing.
The waterbirth workshop was really disappointing, not so much about waterbirths and more about hospital policies etc. It was in the waterbirth room which was v v hot so I started to feel quite faint early on so altogether not a big success. However, as I am currently low risk and as long as I go into labour before 40+10 and if the pool is free (there is only one) then I can have a water birth. So we'll see.

So good to hear updates from all of you, it's really like your all up ahead, leading the way with fab advice and wisdom.

sparkly great to hear from you, I have both tea tree and lavender in stock. When you say 'ditch the sanitary towels' are you back on tampax? How long are you meant to wait? The cheese smell doesn't sound too good, thanks for the warning. Thanks also for book recommendation, will order it now. Have you ladies any advice on which pump to buy or def not to buy? Sounds like Gabe is doing really well getting into some kind of pattern already.

worm how is your first day alone going? I hope well and that you managed to go for a walk. I weighed myself yesterday and got a massive shock.....I'm up 3 stone!! How did that happen? I know some of it is baby but still........looks like I could be in maternity gear for some time. Glad the infection is clearing and hope your wound continues to heal well.

wombat that's interesting re sexy time, i thought the same as you re cs. You really sound like you are doing well, glad to have you are a bright shining example of how it's done. :)

Re visitors we're not having anyone for the first 2 weeks. Well that's the plan and I can't think of anyone who would turn up uninvited. I just really want us to have that time to get our heads round the whole thing. I guess I can always change my mind and my Mum would be over in a flash but I think it's unlikely.

I am having a few moments of panic this week as the reality starts to hit me but I still haven't managed to pack a bag etc. Putting the cot up was a big milestone, I'll get dp to help with the bag at the weekend then at least he'll know what's in there. I also want him to choose her first outfit and be the one to dress her. I washed some more baby socks today and lots another one. So she has 2 odd socks already.....how is that possible? Could it be to do with some small hole in the washing machine or something?

kool sounds like you are doing really well. I can't remember if you are working? Mat leave is def something to look forward to.

I'm off to see the midwife tomorrow, a new one again but this is one from the midwife led unit so could possibly be the one who'll be there on the day. Hopefully baby will be more engaged and still in the correct position.

I had a lovely pepperoni pizza followed by banoffee pie at pizza express for lunch today......I would offer leftovers but there are none. How about a fruit salad and some fennel tea? No? Ok have some gooey chocolate brownies.

Tis very quiet around these parts..... perhaps this sticky marmalade tealoaf I have just made might tempt you out..... (genuinely have made it in anticipation of some ante-natal ladies coming around tomorrow - anything between 5 and 10 of them plus babies!

Moments of panic totally normal yellow - do you remember the weeks before Jack when I was such an up and down ball of hormones and emotions? However, I will give you a big nag if you haven't packed your bag with DP this weekend - DO IT! You just never know....

Jack seems to be settling into a bit more of a routine but still a bit random. The good news is that the 3 x night feeds are down to 20-30 mins and he will go straight to sleep after - much better than the 2 hour wide awake sessions previously!

Ah that's good wombat about establishing a bit of a routine. I dn having a wobble and considering changing to formula, for no other reason than it is more convenient. So selfish I know. Yesterday meg cluster fed from 6am til 11am then 2 until 9. I am neglecting my other dcs.
Thing is I know I will be cross with myself for it if I switch as I was determined to last 6 months. Dh thinks she is using me as a dummy rather than needing the food.

Have you packed that bag yet yellow careful with those baby socks . I list a washing machine to a stray baby sock. We now have a nifty bag from a gadget catalogue to put them in, [sucker emocion]

Maybe your homemade cake with make my milk more filling ....... I'll take 3 bits!

Morning ladies

I have packed my bag! Hurrah, I had most stuff anyway it was just a question of assembling it all. And the cot has sheets on and the monitor is set up so we're good to go.

Impressed with the baking wombat hope it goes well today.

worm re breastfeeding ( bearing in mind I have no practical experience) I think you have to weigh up what is right for you, Meg and the rest of the family and try not to feel guilty. I was wondering if it might help to call a bf support line or get some other support/advice before making a final decision? Might just help to talk it through although I guess they will have a bias. The helpline no I have is 0300 100 0212. But it is your body, baby and family and you know what is best.

I really love mat leave, have a pottering/admin day today and another lunch tomorrow, the days are flying by. Seeing the acupuncturist thurs when he is going to be 'more aggressive' so we might get some action towards the end of the week. Still 7 days to actual dd but I'm in no hurry.

Ah thanks yellow, she has been a little angel today, 3 hours betw3en feeds all day so far. Got to learn to take one day at a time !
Enjoy your last few days and the accupunture that made all this possible . :)